55 good manners that will decorate a man and a woman

Definition

The manner of communication is a multi-component image. What is it made of? From the timbre of the voice, from the ability to control one’s speech, facial expressions and gestures. The interlocutor evaluates his opponent not only on the basis of his speeches, but also on the basis of how the person behaves. In 10 minutes of personal communication with a person you can learn much more about him than in six months of correspondence. People can make a good impression with their behavior, or they can ruin their self-image. Moreover, it is not the content of speeches that plays a big role here, but their design. Sometimes it’s much more pleasant to communicate with a lovable fool than with a struggling intellectual.

Communication styles

The image that a person intentionally or unintentionally demonstrates is the manner of communication. In different situations, a person can wear different disguises. These are called communication styles. What are they?

Disparaging. A person who wants to show his contempt for his interlocutor will demonstrate this with a mocking tone or obvious coldness of behavior. Disdain is visible when one person tries to quickly end a conversation, because he considers his interlocutor an unworthy type with whom it is not worth communicating.
Comical. This style of communication is popular with friends. Friends can make fun of each other, throw witticisms and laugh together at the awkwardness that arises.
Serious. When talking to a person, you can judge his manners. The communication style that the interlocutor chooses can tell a lot about him. If your opponent does not joke and does not give in to provocations, he wants to appear before you in the guise of a serious person. This style of communication is preferred in the business world.
Flirty. A girl who is talking to a young man she likes can openly flirt with him. This style of communication is appropriate for both strangers and friends. But you need to keep in mind the environment in which the conversation takes place.
Friendly. Two people who are mutually attracted will talk to each other in a friendly tone. They will joke, ask questions and listen carefully to their interlocutor.
Business. This style of communication can be found in any organization. Subordinates communicate in a business style with their superiors, and they, in turn, communicate with the directors of the company.

VIP accessories

An elegant woman is also distinguished by high-quality shoes, for example, today’s fashionable black and beige high-heeled shoes from Chanel, which are in perfect harmony with any suit.

Classic shoes from Stephanie Kelen or Ferragamo are no less popular among ladies with sophisticated taste. And for walks, rich fashionistas choose soft suede shoes without heels and Tods.

VIP accessories – wristwatches, jewelry and bags – are also of great importance.

As a rule, the wives of ministers or large businessmen buy watches or Rolex, but only the old model.

However, the most luxurious ladies love to show off in gold watches from Tan Français or Cartier.

They decorate their fingers with two or three modest rings with diamonds or emeralds from Cartier.

As for handbags, aristocrats, like half a century ago, prefer the Kelly Bag model from Hermes.

VIP accessories from Gucci, Chanel and Dior are still popular. For long car trips, rich women use a modest leather bag from Hermes, and certainly a worn one.

In this way they try to demonstrate the ancient origin of their wealth. And for air travel there is a nylon bag with leather trim from Gucci.

The elegant and expensive contents of a wealthy lady’s handbag usually consist of a miniature bottle of Chanel or Mitsuko perfume in a velvet case, lipstick and powder compact from Shiseido, a leather-bound calendar notebook and a fountain pen.

Types of communication

The manner of communication is an indicator of a person’s upbringing. A person who knows how to behave in society demonstrates his good upbringing and education. What types of communication exist?

Direct. When two people communicate with each other, a dialogue arises between them. This type of communication is the most common. Direct communication is not only a dialogue, but also a discussion. For example, at a conference of the board of directors, each of those present has the right to express their opinion on the topic raised.
Indirect. This type of communication is much less common. A dialogue between two people or a conversation between several people takes place through an intermediary. This usually happens when interlocutors communicate in different languages and use the services of a translator. But it also happens that people communicate in their native language through an intermediary. Such an incident can happen to those individuals who have had a serious fight and cannot stand each other’s company.

Parting

Before saying goodbye, you should prepare your interlocutor for parting: “It’s too late,” “Unfortunately, I have to go.” It is then customary to express satisfaction with the time spent together, for example, “I'm glad we met.” The next stage of farewell is words of gratitude. Sometimes you can pay a compliment to the hostess of the house, say goodbye and immediately leave without lingering.

In addition, the rules of etiquette in society require the ability to invite, apologize, console, express condolences, and gratitude. Each of these forms of address should sound natural and sincere, excluding rude and harsh phrases and phrases.

Image and manner of communication

The way a person carries himself says a lot about him. When he selects or develops an image for himself, he should not lose sight of his manner of communication. For example, a girl who wants to deserve to become a significant person in a man's business must behave seriously. Flirty behavior will not give her a chance to be perceived as a business partner by her interlocutors. The image of a modern person, language, speech, manner of communication - all this is interconnected. Look at how a person behaves and you can definitely tell about his profession. After all, it is the field of activity that leaves its mark on a person. For example, a successful manager will act relaxed in any company. He will not be shy about meeting people and talking to them openly. But a person who works with documents, and not with people, may be a closed person. It will be difficult to bring such a person into dialogue.

Business communication manners

What kind of person do you think is serious? Such persons have a good understanding of the correct manners of communication. A person who wants to be taken seriously will try to appear serious. His gestures will be open, but at the same time his gaze and voice will be tough and authoritative. In this way, the person will express his self-confidence. A person who wants to succeed in the business world must be able to maintain composure in any situation and not succumb to all kinds of provocations. The communication manners of a business person come down to friendliness, frankness, open gestures, confident movements and authoritative intonation. Communicating with such a person will be pleasant, but at the same time scary. It will seem to the interlocutor that his opponent is taller and stronger. Moreover, a business person should inspire this on a subconscious level, and on a conscious level, the conversation should be easy and pleasant.

Good communication manners

What are the different communication styles? They will be different for each type and style. But the most classic division is good and bad. What manners can be called good?

Correct speech. A person who speaks well deserves the attention of others. It’s interesting to talk with someone like that, he can tell you something interesting. And if such a person tells ordinary things, his speech will be music, since it is correct.
Politeness. Good communication manners are established in childhood. Communicating on a first-name basis with strangers, the ability not to interrupt and to hear what the interlocutor is saying is highly valued today.
Courtesy. You need to be not only polite, but also loyal. Keep in mind that not all interlocutors will have the same opinion on the same issue. If your opponent does not agree with your arguments, do not try to convince him of anything, let him remain unconvinced.
Listening skills. Etiquette and manners of communication are based on mutual respect. You must not only listen to your interlocutor, but also hear what he says. Most people don't know how to do this. They wait for a pause in the interlocutor's speech to talk about themselves.

Advice for future “society ladies”

Naturalness!

Simplicity and naturalness! But - in moderation. Not the kind of simplicity that is “worse than theft,” you understand. Just be yourself and respect yourself. Then you won’t have to hide your complexes by giggling loudly at the movies or walking around in a daze from your inability to start a conversation with the guy you like. If something surprises you, be surprised! If it makes you happy, smile! For yourself, not for others. People around you will immediately notice a sweet girl with a bright and clean face, open to the world and emotions.

Restraint

Pay attention to how members of the British royal family behave, for example. They are always calm, friendly and benevolent

They smile with their eyes, rather than baring their teeth. In this regard, our pop stars, unfortunately, are not an example. Let's try to act like Kate Middleton! Friends will immediately notice and appreciate the change for the better.

Politeness

Always and towards everyone. Not only to the dean at the institute or the boss at work. But also to colleagues, classmates, neighbors, janitors, the crowd waiting for the train in the subway. Do you know what Renata Litvinova (who is undoubtedly an example of excellent manners) says? A truly beautiful and intelligent person never shows off these qualities. He is unfailingly polite and willing to help. He values himself and, as a result, those around him. And one of the “signs of a real Parisian” is that he says “bonjour” to everyone he meets (that is, he says hello). I hope you convinced me?

Curiosity

If you don't know something, never hesitate to ask! What utensil to take to an oyster restaurant, how to put on the most fashionable exotic hat, how to get to the library... It’s not a shame or a sin not to know something. A person is given his whole life for self-development and learning.

This is only the basis of social etiquette, the basis that every self-respecting girl should know. By studying, understanding and accepting the rules of good manners, you will make your own life more colorful, beautiful and worthy of respect!

Bad manners

Keep yourself in the spotlight. A person loves to talk about himself. But if you want to be a polite person, then you shouldn't do this. Talk about others. Let them feel that you care about their opinions and their life story.
Gossip. Do you want to be known as a cultured person? Then get rid of the habit of gossiping. Do not pass rumors on to others and interrupt your interlocutor if he tells you false facts about the lives of your mutual friends.
Mat. A person's culture is known by the way he speaks. If a person cannot connect two words without swearing, it means that this person’s vocabulary is surprisingly poor.
Increased tone. If you want to earn a person's trust and sympathy, you should not shout. You can prove your opinion in a quiet and calm tone. If a person breaks down, it means that he has run out of arguments and he uses the only remaining remedy - intimidating his opponent.
Neglect. Don’t show a person that you don’t like him, it’s not nice. All people had different upbringings and different fates. You shouldn’t treat someone less fortunate than you badly.

Rules of etiquette in society

In each sector of the life of a modern person, certain rules of conduct apply.

Good manners in society, which involves behavior in public places, can be divided into the following types:

On the street . The main rule is not to cause inconvenience to people around you. It is unacceptable to squeeze through the crowd, actively pushing others aside. You need to carry your things so as not to disturb others. If you need to stop or change direction in heavy traffic, you first need to step aside. If you suddenly step on someone's foot or accidentally push them, apologize.
On the stairs . When walking up the stairs, the woman should go first. On the contrary, a man should go down. The side of the stairs near which the railings are located should be reserved for children, women and the elderly.
In the elevator . The same rules apply there as on the street or stairs. If you happen to be closest to the buttons, you have the unspoken responsibility of pressing the buttons with the floor numbers on which others will exit.
At the door . Most people know that a man lets a woman pass first. What about other categories of people? The junior must let the elder pass, the subordinate must let the boss pass. If people are the same age and have the same status, the one who is closest to the door goes first.
In library . The main rule is not to make noise. Telephone conversations are only possible outside the hall. In addition, books must be handled very carefully. They must be returned in the same condition in which they were given to you.
At the restaurant . The man helps the woman sit down first by pulling out a chair for her. However, different establishments may have slightly different rules (they depend, for example, on the presence or absence of a head waiter).
Outdoors . Everything is simple here. The main thing is not to litter. If there is no trash bin nearby, put any of your waste in a bag, take it with you and throw it away in the designated place.

I recommend reading Waiter Etiquette

There are many norms of behavior in these public places, and we have indicated only a few examples.

This is because many people often face situations in which they are not sure how exactly to behave.

Rules of etiquette and good manners: basic standards of behavior

Let us highlight the basic rules that are relevant in any situation:

Do not allow yourself to show up for a visit without warning - for example, calling in advance.
If someone comes to visit you without warning, you can remain in your usual home form.
Whatever the age and status of a person, when entering a room with other people, he should be the first to say hello.
In public places, it is considered indecent to laugh loudly and speak in high tones, and to stare at others intently and shamelessly.
Wearing rings, signets or rings over gloves is an indicator of bad taste. But in society it is allowed to wear bracelets over gloves. This looks especially appropriate at social events, where such an element of clothing and jewelry is part of a sophisticated female image.
International protocol states that the number of pieces of jewelry that can be worn at one time should not exceed thirteen. You can also include jewelry buttons here.
Do not use perfume too intensively. It will be unpleasant for others if you have a too intrusive trail of perfume, even if it is an expensive, high-quality scent and it suits you. Some people are generally very sensitive to odors. Sometimes so much so that they may experience an allergic reaction. Respect others.
Indoors, women can wear gloves and a hat, but they are forced to take off their mittens and hat.
Some topics for discussion in a company are taboo. These include the spheres of medicine, finance, politics, and religion. Topics of pets, weather, cooking, science, travel, art, etc. are considered neutral.
Do not touch other people without their desire or consent (stroking, patting on the shoulder, pushing). This applies to those with whom you do not have a trusting or intimate level of relationship. However, in public, even the closest people should behave with restraint.
If someone behaves impolitely, you should not demonstrate behavior similar to that of a boor and rude person. Stay educated.

So, we have looked at the basic rules of good manners in public places. They act always and in all situations.

Rules of etiquette in transport

Most of us often use public transport.

To make the trip as pleasant and easy as possible, you must adhere to certain standards of behavior:

Try not to wait in line when entering the transport. This is especially true when boarding trains, planes, or international buses. Prepare the necessary documents in advance.
Don't take up all the space in the luggage compartment, which in some vehicles can be quite modest. Remember that other people also have personal items and need to accommodate them.
Remove bulky backpacks and bags from your shoulders so as not to disturb your fellow travelers (for example, if you are riding while standing in the metro, trolleybus, bus, tram). It's best to keep your carry-on luggage right in front of you and in plain sight to prevent theft.
If you want to help a stranger get in and get into transport (for example, people with disabilities), during the conversation ask him if he needs such help.
Make sure your belongings and you will not disturb others.
Do not touch up your makeup on public transport. You can sneak a look at yourself in a compact mirror, but nothing more.
Do not eat foods with strong odors. These include canned fish, sausage, smoked meats, sauerkraut and stewed cabbage, boiled eggs. Better opt for cookies, fruits, nuts, yogurt or muffins.
Diplomatically give up your seat to those who need it - people with disabilities, pregnant women, women with babies and the elderly. But this rule may not apply to seats on trains, intercity buses, and airplanes. You do not have to sacrifice your comfortable seat, which you purchased in advance, in favor of someone who did not take care of their comfort and bought a ticket at the last minute. If necessary, you can simply offer to change seats.
If you are traveling with a child, make sure that he does not disturb others or dirty the clothes of others. To do this, he must be taught etiquette from an early age.
Avoid loud noises from your side - music on a smartphone or other devices, noisy conversations, etc.
You should not demonstrate your love both in transport and in public places.

I recommend reading Business Etiquette: Basic Rules

If it seems to you that it is not at all necessary to follow the rules of behavior in transport, think: do you like it when others violate them?

Behavior in the theater and at a concert, memo

A reminder of the general rules in the theater, at concerts, festivals and cinemas:

It is not customary to come to the theater in casual clothes. Men should diplomatically wear a dark classic suit, while women should wear an evening dress.
Do not attend a theater or any other performance if you have a cold. By coughing and sneezing you will disturb others.
Arrive at theatres, cinemas, concerts and festivals early so that you have enough time to get comfortable and prepare.
The rules of conduct in the theater suggest that eating and drinking during the performance is strictly discouraged.
If your seat is in the middle of a row, try to get it before the show starts. But, if you suddenly need to leave the hall during the performance, move along the row facing those sitting.
You should not comment on everything that is happening and actively talk with the people sitting next to you.
Do not rush to applaud if there is silence on stage. Perhaps this is just a pause in the work and you will put yourself in an awkward position with your inappropriate applause.

The rules in the theater for children are exactly the same as for adults. To ensure that they behave appropriately, they should be taught etiquette in public places from an early age. In fact, it is only difficult at first.

Subsequently, everything will become a habit and the child will adhere to the necessary rules automatically.

Believe me, it is much easier to teach etiquette to a person at a younger age than to an adult.

Rules for sneezing

Another important point that interests many: what are the rules if a person sneezes?

Let's consider them from the point of view of both the sneezing person and the people next to him:

If you feel like you are about to sneeze, try to cover your mouth with a tissue or at least your hand. If you spray your hand and there is a restroom nearby, you can go to it and wash your hands.
The rules of sneezing etiquette suggest that a person can apologize for his sneezing, but he also has the right not to do so if it does not cause discomfort to other people.
What does “be healthy” sneezing etiquette entail? Is it polite to say this to strangers and unfamiliar people? No. If this happened in a business environment, at a meeting, in transport or any other public place, the best thing is to ignore it. The person who sneezed may feel embarrassed because of this, so you should not focus on the situation. You can wish your loved ones health, if that is your custom.
According to etiquette, if a person sneezes, it is quite acceptable if you offer him a disposable handkerchief. But you need to look at the circumstances.

I recommend reading Speech etiquette: basic rules

Now you know exactly how to behave in a theater, at a concert, when sneezing, on public transport and other public places. But knowledge is power and your advantage.

I look forward to your additions, comments and questions in the comments.

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About the author: Nikolay Vilkov

Since 1996, he has gained vast experience working as a waiter, bartender, and administrator in cafes, nightclubs and restaurants. I have experience working at banquets, buffets, outdoor events, I know many colleagues in the catering industry, and I am the author of a video course for waiters. I write about my work, innovations in the catering industry, and am open to communication with colleagues.

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Facial expressions and gestures

How does a person convey information to the interlocutor? He conveys some part verbally, and another part non-verbally. Facial expressions and gestures sometimes speak more eloquently than words. The manners of communicating with people can be developed consciously. Of course, at first it will be difficult to control nonverbal signals. But over time, you can train your gestures. For example, when you communicate with people you don’t know, on a subconscious level you want to close yourself off from them. But don’t follow your body’s lead, don’t cross your arms or legs. Take open poses. Thanks to this simple trick, you will feel relaxed, and your interlocutors will perceive you as a confident and sociable person. If something amazes you in your opponent’s opinion, you don’t need to paint it on your face. Vivid facial expressions are appropriate when talking with friends, but not when communicating among unfamiliar people. Some individuals may perceive your dumbfounded appearance as disagreement with their position in life.

Tips from professional actors

Courses in acting, the psychology of influencing people, or the psychology of business negotiations will help you master the art of competent nonverbal communication, develop the correct structure of speech and gestures when communicating, and master manners. Training in these courses and courses of a similar focus begins with mastering oneself, getting rid of pressures and complexes, studying the psychology of communication and developing the ability to understand people.

Professional actors are people who, due to their profession, constantly have to try on other people's characters and non-standard situations. An actor's bread and butter is persuasiveness, and it is achieved by deep penetration into the psychology of the character. Here are the basic rules for proper communication with people from professional actors:

Keep your distance. It’s a rare person who feels delighted by familiarity, so don’t rush to switch to “you”, it will always be done in time. In addition, each person has a personal space (within a radius of half a meter), which can only be violated by close people.
Smile. A smile is the surest sign of goodwill and good intentions. When you first meet, a person unconsciously evaluates you for possible danger. This assessment will directly influence his expectations. If you want him to calm down and relax in your company, smile at him.
Maintain eye contact. Direct eye to eye contact means openness and a desire to make contact. Any communication begins with visual contact, do not neglect it.
Watch your speech and gestures. Be neutral in everything: do not speak too loudly or too much, and avoid excessive gesticulation.

The listed criteria for proper constructive communication can help you out in any situation, even if the dialogue doesn’t go well initially. hcILCCmHrVs

Person's character

How much can you learn about the person in front of you? Communication manners will introduce your interlocutor to you much better than he can do it himself. If a person speaks loudly, smiles at the same time and is not afraid to ask awkward questions, it means that in front of you is an easy-going person who has a courageous character and a cheerful disposition. A person who speaks in a low voice and looks at the ground is an insecure person who is clearly uncomfortable in your company. A person who speaks loudly and does not give you the opportunity to speak is a power-hungry person with leadership habits.

Greetings

When choosing a form of greeting, put enough meaning and feeling into the words. For example, you would not act very delicately by saying “good afternoon” to a person whose face shows that he is upset about something. Or it is completely unacceptable to say “hello” to your boss, except in cases of personal friendship. Be attentive to words and people - when greeting them, call them by name or patronymic. Men should greet each other with a handshake. When meeting a lady, the gallant gentleman kisses her hand, and he should not pull her towards him, but must bend down as far as the woman offered her hand.

Purpose of communication

Why do people talk and how does it affect the way they communicate? By the way your opponent presents himself to you, you can understand the goal that he wants to achieve through dialogue. If a guy speaks in a polite, flirtatious tone with a girl, then he wants to establish a closer acquaintance with her. If a person talks to you in a businesslike tone, it means that he simply needs to find out some information from you. A person who jokes with you may have several goals: to rise at your expense in the company, to make people laugh, or to cheer you up. Of course, the purpose of communication must be considered in a specific context and understand how familiar the opponents are.

How to develop good communication manners?

Education must begin from childhood. Children need to be taught communication manners from an early age. How to do this?

Read more. A person who reads has a wider vocabulary than a person who receives information from the Internet or television.
Listen to your interlocutor. You need to train yourself and your children to listen to your opponent. You must understand exactly what idea the interlocutor wanted to convey to you, and only after that form your response. Many people cannot understand such simple rules of the game, and therefore it is difficult to talk to them.
Watch the gestures. Use your hands when talking. Don't be afraid to gesticulate actively. Your broad gestures will show your interlocutor that you are an open person who craves communication.
Watch your speech. Be sure to think about what you say. Learn to choose your words. Clear your speech of obscenities and parasitic words.
Watch your intonation. Never raise your voice. Work with your tonality, find the middle and speak in it.