How to attract a long-awaited call or meeting, even if your man hasn’t called for a whole week? Today I will tell you how my friend and I tested in practice 4 recommendations of Lisa Volkova for attracting men. Whether our experiment worked or not - read on...
And don’t forget to pick up the most effective method for restoring a love relationship - without tears, persuasion and SMS.
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And I’ll start a little from afar...
My ideal man doesn't call or text
Happiness, joy and elation - this is what a girl should experience after a successful date. But in practice this is often not the case. Nervousness, confusion, awkwardness—it happens that this is exactly what is left after a date.
And all because the man does not call after the meeting. Not immediately, not the next day, not later. The man disappeared, disappeared! I am familiar with this situation and these feelings.
A little personal...
He seemed like my destiny. Tall, curly, smart, sexy, with humor - my ideal. We had beautiful dates, hot kisses, long intimate conversations. And then... he disappeared.
I looked at the phone with hope, then with anger, then with irritation at myself, then fell into depression - I went through all the phases of accepting the situation in a day. Every time the phone rang, time stopped and the countdown started again.
Find out about him through mutual friends or relatives
For most girls, calling first seems like a humiliating act. No girl wants to seem like she is “running” after a guy and is the first to take the initiative. For such girls there is another alternative. She doesn’t have to call the guy; perhaps the guy and the girl have mutual friends or relatives through whom she can find out everything. Moreover, you need to find out not directly, but as if by chance. In the first minutes of a conversation, you can talk about a completely unrelated topic: about rising prices in stores or how beautiful the weather is today. If something serious really happened to the guy, then the relatives will definitely tell about it themselves.
In an empty house the telephone always rings louder. Joyce Carol Oates
My girlfriend's secret
My friend Katya didn’t understand my whining. They always called her back. And even when the man made himself known late, she said: “My boyfriend is the best! Doesn’t write, doesn’t call, doesn’t invite me for a walk, doesn’t bother me - my sunshine.” I didn’t understand this attitude, but I had to admit that Katyusha was much luckier with the guys...
I unraveled my friend’s secret only a few years later, when I was already married. It was simple: if it happened that a man disappeared, Katya intuitively acted according to certain rules. And so he returned to her quite quickly.
I accidentally came across these very rules while watching a video on Lisa Volkova’s YouTube channel “POWER IN THOUGHT”. It talked about the behavior of a girl who is waiting for the first step from a man. It turned out that Katya did everything right, which, alas, I cannot say about myself.
By the way, how would you behave in such a situation?
What to remember
- A man will always find an opportunity to call or otherwise contact the woman he likes.
- If he doesn’t call after the first date, distract yourself with your personal affairs: an interesting and exciting activity will brighten up the wait and help get rid of obsessive thoughts.
- Don’t think that you made a mistake and that’s why he doesn’t call - it’s not about you.
- If, during a meeting, a man deliberately demonstrates his affection and then does not call, this is manipulation.
- The manipulator is trying to take control and find out how far you can go in your quest to get him.
- The best tactic in communicating with a manipulator is to be distracted by your own affairs and not to succumb to provocation, even if you really want to call. It is at this moment that it is decided who will set the tone in your relationship.
- A man who likes you turns in your direction during a conversation, touches his face, neck or shirt collar.
- Speech that is too loud, direct gaze into the eyes, seemingly random touches, excitement in your company are markers of sympathy.
- A man tries to show concern for the woman he likes: give him a ride, treat him, help with personal matters. Such signs of attention have nothing to do with ordinary politeness and indicate that he is trying to gain your favor.
What will you do in a situation where your man has disappeared? Choose your answer
So, you have 3 options. Choose what to do.
- Call or write first : yes - yes, no - no, why bother in vain?
- Be offended and proudly remain silent, sending him to ignore. And then we'll see...
- Accept that if a man doesn’t call , it means I didn’t hook him, it’s not fate.
Which option do you think is correct?
Answer: neither one, nor the other, nor the third!
If you really want your chosen one to finally call you and invite you on the date of your dreams, you need to act completely differently!
Don't rush to conclusions
If girls are different, then so are guys.
They can also be timid, shy and indecisive. Perhaps he is simply embarrassed to call first. If a girl is more temperamental and more active than her boyfriend, then he knows about it and becomes afraid, because you never know what to expect from her. What if he calls at the wrong moment, when the girl succumbs to a change of mood and says all sorts of stupid things to him or simply laughs at him. It’s better not to bother her unnecessarily; when she’s free, she’ll call herself. This is exactly how an indecisive guy can think and act.
How to behave if a man doesn’t call: 4 recommendations from Lisa Volkova
If you think about a man day and night, if you are sad that your phone is not ringing off the hook with his calls, if your hands are itching to write to him, you are not in a resourceful state. You are in a state of need and desire for him to pay attention to you. This is what scares him away.
To attract a man, you just need to change your inner state. Yes, it's that simple! And Lisa Volkova’s recommendations help to do this.
Lisa's recommendation #1. Don’t write, don’t call, and don’t “accidentally” catch your eye
So, under no circumstances write or call him with the questions “Where did you go?”, “What happened?”, “When will we meet?” etc. Take a time out and give yourself time to change a little.
Learn to enjoy life by excluding from it worries like “Why did the man disappear when everything was going so well?” Live every moment with pleasure, be passionate about your business and yourself. Then the man himself will be attracted to you almost instantly. He will be attracted to your state of sincere joy and happiness.
By the way, if you are not just waiting for a call from a man, but are looking for a way to renew your relationship with your loved one, who has decided that “it’s all over” between you, then
this is the place for you >>>
Lisa's recommendation #2. Create a state of joy, love and pleasure
Firstly,
stop seeing the problem that the man disappeared. On the contrary, find benefits in it - for example, a lot of free time. Enjoy it and focus all your attention on yourself.
Secondly,
do what you like! It doesn't matter what exactly brings you pleasure. The main thing is the sensations that you experience. The more you do things for yourself, the more happiness you will have in your life.
Remember - what do you love and what fills you? For myself, I made a list of 50 favorite activities. Here are a few of them besides the standard shopping and spa.
- Go to the cinema with a bucket of popcorn, immerse yourself in the plot of the film, forgetting about everything in the world.
- Meet with friends and gossip a lot.
- Throw away old things (clothes, dishes) and get rid of junk in the house.
- Meet the dawn when everyone is still sleeping, enjoying the silence and solitude.
- Choose and give gifts to your loved ones for no reason.
- Take a course or marathon on self-development, professional development, etc.
- Review old family photos and videos.
- Swim in the pool.
- Go for a run in the park in the morning.
- Try something completely new - a cooking class, oil painting, vocal lesson, etc.
Do something that inspires you every day. Regularly devote at least half an hour to this, and you will notice how the world around you will change.
But know this: in reality, the world will remain the same. Only the perception will change - you will simply tune your strings to the desired wave.
On topic: 5 mistakes when restoring a relationship with an ex
Lisa's recommendation #3. Create an intention and breathe life into it
But now we can remember about the man. You are in a resourceful state, satisfied with yourself and life, you have your own interests and affairs. It's time to create an intention - that your man thinks about you and longs to meet you.
Write this intention on a piece of paper in a positive way with the name of your chosen one. For example: “ Andrey
thinks about me every second . He really wants to call me, he really wants to see me . He is happy to invite me on a date .
” Imagine this call and your meeting in great detail: how his voice sounds, how his gaze feels. You should feel this thought with your whole body - goosebumps, butterflies in your stomach, a feeling of flight and boundless joy.
Cast aside all doubts and be completely confident that the man is about to write or call you and will definitely make an appointment.
Lisa's recommendation #4. Think correctly for a man
There is such a joke: while
the man does not call or write, the woman manages to draw the worst thing - conclusions.
If a man has disappeared, you involuntarily begin to think: “ He probably won’t call me... He probably didn’t like me... He probably has someone... ”
It turns out that you are, as it were, thinking out thoughts for a man that he may not have.
Instead, create your own reason why he will definitely call you and soon confess his love: for example, because you are beautiful, smart and cheerful, because he remembers you every minute, misses you very much, etc.
And when he appears, don’t sort things out. No phrases from the series “Where have you been?”, “Why didn’t you call?” or “You can’t do that with me”! Act as if you didn't notice he was missing.
Why is communication difficult?
What to do and how to behave if a man suddenly stops communicating? Psychologists are increasingly inclined to believe that new technologies are to blame for everything, which have replaced the romance of relationships. Modern young people are less and less likely to show care, dare. And they rarely remember romance at all. Many people prefer to spend time at home with their phone than going out with friends or their girlfriend. And if a guy still has a gaming addiction, then he can completely forget about communicating with real people.
Therefore, in our time, relationships between a man and a woman develop according to a completely different scenario, which is very different from how the relationship developed with our parents. If previously people met, for example, while walking, now they most often meet on social networks. Such communication does not lead to anything good. Young people are getting used to the fact that they do not bear any responsibility for what and how they write in messages. If you don’t like the interlocutor, he is simply sent to the blacklist. That's all! All communication stopped without any explanation or clarification of the reasons.
I don’t want to say that all modern men are like this. They're just the majority. But there are still those for whom live communication is much more valuable than virtual communication. And they continue to provide attention and care to their chosen ones, just like in the good old days.
An experiment codenamed “The Man Doesn’t Call.” How we checked Lisa Volkova's recommendations
I'm a skeptic and love proven techniques. Therefore, I decided to try these rules of Lisa in practice. My husband glanced disapprovingly in my direction: the thought of an experimental date did not inspire him, of course. And then I turned to my other friend, Elena.
Lena just recently met Kirill, a new colleague from another office. A spark ran between them, and now a date was set. I suggested that Lena conduct an experiment if Kirill suddenly didn’t call back after the date. And she agreed.
The first experience turned out to be successful - for me. Not so good for Lena, because Kirill didn’t call her either the evening after the date or the next day.
And then we started with Lisa’s first two recommendations: put down the phone and take care of yourself.
We went for a pedicure together, then walked and chatted all day (not about Kirill). My friend's mood definitely lifted. And by evening she even stopped looking at her phone.
The next day Lena went to visit her grandmother. She loved to go there, but rarely got the chance. I returned inspired, and in the evening I went to a jazz concert.
In the morning we called each other - Lena was in a great mood. She said that she didn’t even think about Kirill all evening.
Then we moved on to recommendations 3 and 4 - creating intention and right thoughts.
Lena wrote in her diary: “Kirill is bored and calls me with joy and pleasure.” She said that when she wrote this, she thought: “How could it be otherwise? Let’s miss a girl like that!” Then I imagined his call and felt a trembling inside. She realized that everything would be as she dreams.
And calmly went to the gym.
If a girl has a long-term relationship with a guy, then she will not be afraid to call first
She will tell him that she is very concerned about his absence, asking directly why he does not come and does not call her. If she can’t get through to him, she can send him an SMS message with all these questions. But the guy should not write any of his conjectures, as he may be offended. Sometimes girls write: “Have you found someone else? Male! Not every guy will call back and make excuses; he would rather harbor a grudge. But guys still like calm and balanced girls, not hysterics.
Experiment result
The next day, Kirill went into the office where Lena worked. The first thing I did was look at her and ask if she wanted to go for a walk at lunchtime. Viva Victoria! It turned out even better than Lena expected: instead of a call, there was a meeting right away.
So, our experiment lasted only 3 days and ended successfully. I am sure that any girl can apply these simple recommendations if her man does not call. And instead of despairing that the man has disappeared, continue to go on dates with him, receive gifts and declarations of love.
But what about those whose relationships are seriously falling apart at the seams? What to do if your loved one has lost interest or even packed up and left?
restore your relationship
if you really want it. Get a step-by-step strategy and learn how to get your beloved man back in 35 days at Lisa Volkova’s free master class.
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What do you usually do if your chosen one disappears for a long time and does not make himself known? Share in the comments.
The calmer the woman, the more emotional the man
The longer you wait for a call, the less likely it is to call. The more you “press”, the less he wants to do it. Saying a hundred times a day: “Buy me flowers and take me to the sea!”, a man will not become an inspired romantic, ready to conquer mountains for the sake of his muse.
The classic rule: “The less we love a woman, the more she likes us” also works in the opposite direction.
A calm, balanced woman, focused not only on men, but also on her hobbies, more often attracts decent guys. When they see that a girl is interested in a relationship, but behaves unobtrusively, they want to see her nearby.
Who's holding the steering wheel?
Do you feel that you are bored and already want to hear the voice of your loved one? Call yourself.
You are as much a partner in this relationship as your man. You are as responsible for the relationship as your partner and have the same power in it as your partner.
Get to work - you have your own life
Sitting with your phone in your arms, you give up your part of responsibility, delegating it to another person. You don't allow yourself to do what you want. The result is dissatisfaction with the relationship, irritation with the man, apathy and powerlessness.
This happens even if before meeting a man you were strong and confident. The tender care of another person for us takes us back to childhood, which is captivating and sweet. But this oasis is just a mirage. Get out of the hole of passivity and childish expectation that someone adult will come and save you from all your troubles. This adult is yourself.
If this is a common story for you
If you are tired of waiting by the phone, you come across the “wrong” men time after time, you are lonely and your relationship is not working out - do not put off contacting a psychologist. A few months of working with a specialist will save you years of life, which you can live happily and to the fullest.
Make an appointment with a psychologist >>
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Reasons for the lack of feedback from a man
Why a man doesn’t get in touch after a pleasant acquaintance and a successful date or even several meetings is not always the woman’s fault. The reasons may be different: temporary difficulties, resentment, mismatch of plans, immaturity or cunning tricks on the part of the guy.
Life circumstances
Everything was fine, but the guy disappeared after the first date, no call or message from him. Perhaps some difficulties have arisen: work pressure, a business trip, a relative’s illness, the car has broken down, or the neighbors have flooded. If he is interested in a girl, then after he resolves his issues, he will definitely contact her.
Perhaps the guy is broke now. And joint leisure requires certain material costs. He may be working on a financial issue. When he earns money, he will be able to invite the girl on a date again.
Women's mistakes
Sometimes a young man disappears immediately after the first meeting if the girl made some mistakes. Perhaps he didn’t like the excessive liberation, loud laughter and revealing clothes, and even more so if sex happened on the first date. This could lead him to believe that this was an easily accessible person who would not be faithful to him. Therefore, for a serious relationship, he will look for another, more inaccessible beauty.
The girl's excessive initiative could scare off the guy. A pattern comes into play here: a woman’s activity generates a man’s passivity. The stronger sex values what it achieves for itself. Men like to achieve goals, including in love.
The girl who seizes the initiative breaks the whole scheme and does not allow the boyfriend to show up. And he loses interest.
If a girl encountered a womanizer and quickly agreed to have sex, he could logically disappear. After all, he had already achieved his goal, and he was not in the mood for a long-term relationship. Most likely, he has already gone in search of a new victim.
The guy could have been offended by some unflattering statements directed at him. He might have been offended by an ironic tone, a tactless remark, or criticism of his interests, opinions, work, or car.
A girl’s excessive phlegmatism also does not inspire a man to continue the relationship. If a young man tried to please a woman, to please her with flowers, dinner or a trip to the cinema, but she did not appreciate it in any way, then this could extinguish his ardor. He expected a smile, words of pleasant surprise and joy from the lady. And when he didn’t wait, he decided that all efforts were in vain. Therefore, he did not want to strain himself further.
Just out of the way
After the date, the man promised to call back, but did not call or even write, because he realized that he and the girl were of different colors or they had different plans.
If a guy was looking for an easy relationship, but the girl was serious, he decided to retreat. Realizing that he had nothing to gain with this woman, he went to look for someone more accessible.
The young man realized that he and his girlfriend had too different upbringings, education, and intellectual levels. If a woman has already achieved a lot and compared to her he looks like a loser, then the guy could go in search of someone simpler.
Perhaps the lady was demonstrating her great material ambitions on the date. The young man came to the conclusion that he would not support her financially.
Sometimes dating starts on the Internet. When people meet in person, the impression is sometimes different. The girl might simply not be what he imagined her to be. Or just not to his taste. And he did not want to continue the acquaintance.
Psychological background
The girl could meet a guy who had recently broken up with his ex-girlfriend. Perhaps he realized that he was not yet ready for a new serious relationship.
The gentleman could be married. Today, not every married man wears a wedding ring or is in a hurry to announce his marital status to a new acquaintance. Going on a date with a pretty girl and feeling her interest pleasantly warms a man’s vanity. However, having thus increased his self-esteem, he could not decide to continue and evaporated into space.
A special type of guy: maybe he doesn't text after a date on purpose?
If the date went well, the girl begins to expect the guy to appear again. But to her bewilderment and even chagrin, he did not call or even write.
The girl could have encountered an experienced manipulator, a pick-up artist. Such a guy acts this way on purpose: he hopes that the girl herself will start calling him, writing to him, asking him out on a date. Then it will be easier for him to achieve her and persuade her into a close relationship.
Womanizers often disappear in English. Especially when they got sex from a girl. If not, then he can pause it in the hope that the girl will mature. In the meantime, he has others in active development.
Perhaps a characterless person was caught. He is constantly influenced by other people, other people's opinions. He himself does not know what exactly he wants and can change his mind about continuing communication at any moment.
If the guy is young and inexperienced, then he may be shy and hesitate with a new invitation for fear of refusal. But this is rare today.
Reasons for stopping correspondence and calls
