The phrase “unrequited love” contains a lot - here there is hope for mutual feeling, and a strong desire to be close to the object of one’s love, and suffering from a feeling that, it seems, has no hope of understanding. She cannot do without the willingness to wait for the attention of the object of her worship for an entire eternity, while not paying the slightest attention to other representatives (representatives) of the opposite sex.
As practice shows, in most cases, the first unrequited love comes in adolescence, and to be more precise, almost childhood. At this time, its appearance is facilitated by self-doubt and, nourished by the just emerging “adult” hormones, youthful maximalism. Increased (thanks to the same hormones) level of emotionality, a tendency to invent suffering out of the blue. All these factors together lead to the creation of ideal soil for the sprout of unrequited, lonely feelings.
As most people age, they experience periods of “enlightenment.” They are already becoming able to analyze their own feelings, emotions and draw up diagrams of possible behavior that take into account their true desires and goals, and not those that are the fruit of their own imagination. By analyzing all emotions, adults find the opportunity to realize them, and to realize them successfully for their loved one. Teenage self-doubt and a subconscious attraction to unrequited feelings are replaced by courage and readiness for the true love of an adult.
But, unfortunately, such metamorphoses do not happen to everyone. Some men and women, even as adults, continue to remain trapped in unrequited love and are unable to get out of it on their own. And this is all, despite the fact that they do their best to demonstrate to themselves and to those around them their sincere desire to break out of the resulting vicious circle called unrequited love.
But the main problem is that all this is sincere only in words. In fact, people are not doing anything to really change the current situation. As a result of this, they are left alone with their own, constrained by shyness, unrequited love. What leads to such a destructive behavior strategy for an individual, what exactly are the reasons that prevent one from breaking out of hateful captivity and becoming truly happy.
Subconscious tendency towards one-sided love
The tendency to unrequited feelings is formed in most cases among modest people who are unsure of their own abilities. These include primarily:
- People who have not found the strength to survive past painful experiences and, thus, remain forever in the unstable youthful period. Failure to transition to a new stage of life leads to absorption in the whirlpool called “unrequited love.”
- People whose level of self-esteem is close to critical. As a rule, this is combined with an almost complete lack of self-esteem. Often, in early childhood they felt unneeded and, accordingly, because of this, the foundations for self-esteem were not laid.
- People afraid of reality. They find her unpredictable and threatening. This is what pushes them to decide on “virtual” love. Only the Internet has nothing to do with this. They experience all the feelings and thoughts that accompany love exclusively in their own heads. Not being ready to take action in reality, they remain forever locked in their own subconscious.
- People who grew up in single-parent or simply unhappy families. Not familiar with the principles of modeling a happy family and not having observed in childhood the tender and trusting relationships between parents that accompany love, when they grow up, they simply cannot imagine what mutual feeling is. Moreover, they simply do not believe in its existence. Therefore, unrequited love is the only feeling they are capable of.
It is worth mentioning separately those of our fellow citizens who are simply not ready to make fundamental changes in their personal lives. Conservatism leads to a persistent reluctance to fall under the “wind of change.” The fact that they quite consciously do not want to change anything in the usual way of their lives leads to the consolidation of the existing unrequited, but such, feelings that have already become familiar and familiar.
And, the last category of people for whom unrequited love is the only possible manifestation of feelings are those who, for one reason or another, do not want to understand their own feelings and sort them out. Even if they try to meet a new person and start a relationship, they obviously, on a subconscious level, choose people from whom, due to certain circumstances, they are simply not able to reciprocate their feelings.
Summing up the above, we can definitely say that the tendency towards unrequited love is by no means innate. It is a direct consequence of social and relational education. These findings in themselves already provide confidence that with the help of targeted psychological self-improvement, you can change current circumstances and forever forget about what unrequited love is.
Changes in your own psyche will lead to a significant increase in your chances of finding true, mutual love for yourself, that is, building relationships with people who are ready for reciprocity.
What not to do
Trying to win over their ex, many young ladies commit rash acts that only push their loved one away from them. If you are thinking about how to make a guy fall in love with you, then you don’t need to do the following things :
- Seek help from fortune tellers and witches. The most minimal consequences of such things are throwing money away. And if a man finds out about your adventures, you risk losing him forever. If the witch really has a gift, then the love spell will not turn out to be anything good. By forcing him to be around you against his will, you will make both him and yourself unhappy.
- To impose. You don’t need to call your gentleman every five minutes, write endless messages and keep all his actions under control. Even a wife is not allowed to violate personal boundaries, let alone a young lady with whom he is not related by marriage. Blackmail him into being with you.
- There is no need to resort to various bad methods to make your chosen one fall in love with you. You can't be liked this way. He will be afraid, worried, but certainly not experience tender feelings.
- Argue with his decision. If a man firmly refused, then there is no need to wait for him at work, call him a hundred times a day, cry and persuade him to be together. Fate will give you another worthy person, and with your behavior as a sufferer you can turn him away from you even more and reduce your attempts to make a guy fall in love to nothing.
Possible benefits of unrequited love2
It turns out that in addition to all the negative aspects that unrequited love brings, it can also bring positive, beneficial moments to a person’s life. Perceiving everything that happens negatively, people are simply not inclined to notice them or to evaluate the positive results they deserve. Many will not understand what we are talking about. So, the whole point is that:
- A one-sided feeling eliminates the need to live in the same apartment with a real partner. That is, it eliminates the need to put up with someone’s desires and habits. A virtual partner is ideal, as he is devoid of any shortcomings and loving him is a complete pleasure.
- Love “one way” allows you to hide not only from your partner, but also from yourself. The absence of doubts, complexes and fears is ensured by loneliness. No one rubs “salt in the wound” and imposes their own patterns of behavior.
In some cases, it also happens that a person simply does not experience an internal desire for real mutual love. The reasons for this may be:
- Fear of relationships;
- Unwillingness to share your comfort zone with a real partner;
- Misunderstanding of what is happening.
In such cases, unrequited love is the only possible form of relationship. Thus, an unrequited feeling becomes a protection, a kind of screen from reality and the relationships in it.
Also, unanswered feelings are to some extent the optimal way to attract attention to one’s own person. There will always be a person ready to listen to an unhappy lover, sympathize with him and support him. It is worth noting that some people are very uncomfortable with this attitude towards themselves.
But, in fact, such empathy and participation does not lead to any real changes in the current situation. Remaining closed in the space of his unhappy love, a person simply does not reconsider the current situation and, accordingly, does not change it. In return, he receives only an illusory substitute for real life with its emotional fullness, colorful emotions, and real feelings.
By and large, everything is explained by the fact that illusory feelings become so colorful and seemingly real that they completely discourage the desire to “move” into a boring reality filled with fears and completely devoid of joyful hopes.
It turns out that all the imaginary benefits that unrequited love can give consist only in an increasing distance from real living relationships. It seems to a person that love should come to him in some incredible magical way. But, unfortunately, this does not happen in life.
If he has a girlfriend
Before you think about how to woo a man who already has a girlfriend, weigh the pros and cons. It is unlikely that you will be pleased to have a reputation as a homewrecker . In addition, it is quite difficult to build your happiness on someone else’s grief. If a guy easily left his previous girlfriend for another, then with a high probability the same fate may await you.
It is worth noting that you will not be able to get a man if everything is perfect in his personal life. This can only happen in cases where he is very dissatisfied with the behavior of his girlfriend. You just need to be attractive and noticeable, as well as show signs of attention.
Try to support him and casually emphasize your own strengths. However, there is no need to throw mud at his partner, because this will not lead to anything positive.
How to get a guy who doesn't want a relationship - first you need to find out what exactly your lover is afraid of. Either he really doesn’t need anyone right now, or he just wanted to get rid of you. In any of these cases, it is important to attract his attention and provide support. Show him that having a soulmate makes life a lot easier, because a loving girl will always come to the rescue in difficult times. If he doesn't want a relationship because of past experiences, then show him that not all women are as bad as his ex.
Show him your best sides and flirt a little. A well-spoken compliment will help to win the person over. But just don’t run after him: it won’t give any results. If you look great, know how to carry on a conversation, but the guy starts ignoring you, then just accept it. Don't try to change yourself because of other people's desires if you are completely satisfied with yourself. You may not be his type.
If you don’t know how to ignore the man you like, then use the most common method: devote yourself to work or some hobby for several weeks.
What to do with unrequited love3
It is completely in vain that many people think that an unrequited feeling is the limit of everything that can be achieved in life. On the contrary, in an unrequited feeling one can see the possibility of realizing the internal resources of the subconscious and, accordingly, the chances for positive changes in life, everything that unrequited love is unable to give.
The value of the resource is that unanswered love teaches you not to demand reciprocal feelings towards yourself - compassion, pity, universal justice. This leads to the emergence of a stable habit of living independently and not allowing the slightest thoughts about mutual feelings.
But, if you still consider the lesson given by life, you can learn from it invaluable experience and learn love, even if it is unrequited at the moment. Such love, which does not expect anything from a partner, teaches one to be undemanding and not to doubt the reality and correctness of what is happening. This ultimately leads to the fact that a person learns to wish happiness even to those who are not ready to be with him.
Thus, people learn a full and rich lifestyle, openness in relationships with a new potential partner, and strategies for building new relationships. Gradually filling his life, a person makes his life more colorful and interesting. All this can greatly increase the likelihood of meeting the one, the beloved and the only one, and gain the possibility of an all-consuming and mutual feeling.
How to make your husband fall in love with you again
Marital relationships often reach a dead end after a few years of marriage. The man moves away, begins to look at other women, and spends more and more time outside the family. Then the wife begins to look for ways to rekindle the fire of passion. Experts are convinced that this is possible, you just need to change your attitude towards your husband : Praise your husband for his hard work, courage, kindness, and wonderful sense of humor. He must see that they admire him and are ready to support him. Remember the past. Don’t be afraid to resort to feminine tricks to win back the love of your life partner. Go to the restaurant where he proposed to you or to the park where you had your first kiss. This will awaken sentimental memories of pleasant moments spent together. Take care of yourself. A woman should dress beautifully not for her friends or colleagues, but for her chosen one, so that he can see what a beautiful wife he has. Organize a holiday together without children. A romantic setting will remind you of how good you were together. Your spouse will be able to love you again, the main thing is to tune him into the right wave. Break up for a while. Take a separate vacation or stay with a friend for a week. This will help you both realize how bad it is without each other. Fight the daily grind. As you know, everyday life destroys relationships. Try to spend the day together without being distracted by household chores. Order food delivery, go to a sanatorium for the weekend, spend more time without TV. Tips on how to make a man fall in love with you and get married will help in the fight for the heart of your loved one. The main thing is to make sure that the effort is worth it, whether this is really the person with whom you would like to walk hand in hand throughout your life. If you doubt this, think about whether there is any point in trying to get the relationship back?
Is mutual love real4
Many people wonder whether mutual love exists at all and whether it is possible to find the strength to confess your feelings to your loved one. Sometimes, instead of spending days, weeks, months or even years in doubt, all you need to do is muster up the courage and confess your love.
During a frank conversation, you can get answers to many questions that primarily interest you:
- Is reciprocity possible in your relationship?
- How interesting are you to a potential partner as a person?
That is, an open, “sincere” confession can lead you out of the vicious circle of unrequited love.
Basics of a female pickup truck
Well, in conclusion, let’s consolidate the basic tricks that will teach you how to make guys fall in love with you or return the feelings of your ex-partner:
- Make sure your paths cross as often as possible - go to the same store as him, sign up for the gym where he works out, ride the same trolleybus that he uses to get to work, etc. At the same time, do not ask for communication - just smile sweetly when you meet, making it clear that you are glad to see him. Soon your chosen one will already associate these places with you and will try to see you again and you will not need to come up with strategies on how to make him fall in love with you.
- If you are already familiar with the object of your worries (or have just broken up), you can unobtrusively offer him a trip to the cinema, theater or exhibition, motivating this with a banal reason: “I was planning to go with a friend, but she got sick, and the ticket is gone, can you help me out? » And then try to captivate the guy with conversation, light coquetry, admiration of his tastes and the coincidence of your assessments of what he saw. Don't think about how to make him fall in love with you, just enjoy your time together.
- You can also use your own scripts for dating. You can start with the most basic thing, feigning cute clumsiness by accidentally bumping into him, dropping your bag or spilling juice on him (yourself). Try to look gentle, intriguing and promising when apologizing.
- The guy will be no less interested in unexpected joyful greetings from you when you deliberately confuse him with someone you know. Again, you will have to politely apologize and laugh together at the awkward situation that has arisen.
- You can also check the correct route. Better yet, ask to be escorted to an unfamiliar address, citing your inattention and inability to navigate in foreign areas.
- Think of any way to ask him for help. After all, you are the weaker sex, and it is quite possible that even the simple task of opening a can of tomato paste will be beyond your capabilities. And you just need to make a dressing for borscht (pilaf, meatballs)… This will be a good reason to keep it longer, and even treat it to your culinary masterpiece. After such a maneuver, making a guy fall in love with you will no longer happen on its own; he will already be “hooked.”
- A great way to get to know each other is to share hobbies. Go to a football or hockey match, actively rooting for his favorites. True, for this you will have to be at least a little aware of the nuances of the game and know at least the main players. Later, you can use this situation even more - when you win, you can throw yourself on his neck, feigning wild delight, or casually snuggle up to his shoulder when your favorite team is defeated.
- Well, in the world of the Internet , of course, one cannot discount social networks . Make acquaintances there by thoroughly studying his profile, preferences, groups, etc.
Using these rules of female pickup or skillfully combining and interpreting them, you can easily make a guy fall in love with you, and also make your entire future life happy. Remember, when a man is in love, you need to support these feelings in him, constantly add some sparkle to your relationship.
In general, there are no clear rules on how to make a man fall in love with you. But there are golden tips that will help you succeed in this task. Be sincere and open, bring bright energy, don’t burden him with your problems and don’t look for a reason to educate him. Remain a fragile woman, even if you have previously coped with any male responsibilities perfectly.
Remember that a man is a hunter first and a protector second. So play on this: intrigue him, force him to unravel and achieve you, and at the same time always show how much you need him and how grateful you are that he is the best. And may you be happy!
