“Eternal childhood” – a phenomenon of psychological infantilism

The terms “infantilism” and “infantility” are different from each other, but in a single key they mean the immaturity of the individual. For example, signs of infantilism appear in men and women, as a reluctance to accept serious reality. Such people are quite healthy mentally, but their behavior can cause concern among loved ones and others. As a rule, infantile behavior is observed in people aged 15 to 35 years, regardless of gender or social status.

Experts recommend paying attention to such deviations from accepted psychological maturation. And if the situation worsens, it is rational to carry out specialized treatment from specialists.

Causes of infantilism

Now a person lives in comfortable conditions, where almost any need is satisfied quickly and effortlessly. For the sake of example, we can compare the situation in our time and in the 16th century. At that time, life expectancy was approximately 20 to 35 years.

You either had to know and be able to do everything you needed by the age of 15; or die. So already at this age people started their own families. In our era, at the age of 15, a teenager is regarded practically as a child, completely dependent on his parents.

Psychological fusion with the parental family

The cause of infantilization of young people is often incomplete separation from their parents. This term refers to separation from a loved one with whom a person was in psychological fusion.

Most often it is about the mother. If a growing child separates from his parents, personality formation occurs. He gradually begins to take independent actions and takes decisions upon himself.

Photo by kelli mcclintock on Unsplash

If the separation is completed successfully, the young man gains self-sufficiency and becomes an adult. “The child grew up, but the parents didn’t even notice.” This can be said today in relation to young people in our country.

After all, there are many conditions that prevent separation from being completed. Low incomes, difficulties in finding employment, uncertainty - all this hinders development. Children reach adulthood but remain dependent on their parents.

In some families, the child is the “center of the universe,” and all other relatives revolve around him, like planets around a star. But the time comes to release the child from its native nest.

Photo by Daniel H. Tong on Unsplash

For example, to go to study in another city or perform military service. For the sake of work, after all. The whole family is acutely experiencing this moment. A “syndrome of a nest from which the matured chick has flown away” occurs.

Modern culture does not have traditions that initiate the acquisition of a new status in society. There are often situations when the mother continues to interfere in the life of an already married “child”; or the father of an adult woman dictates to her how to dress and who to date.

Diagnosis of mental retardation

To determine mental retardation, a comprehensive comprehensive examination of the child is necessary by a psychological, medical, and pedagogical commission (PMPC), which may include: a psychiatrist, educational psychologist, neuropsychologist, speech therapist, defectologist (oligophrenopedagogist), neurologist, pediatrician and other specialists (if necessary).

Specialists carry out differential diagnosis, which includes:

  • a thorough examination of the medical history (including the prenatal and postnatal period of development). This will help to identify the primary causes of the violation and understand their nature;
  • communication directly with the child (acquaintance, conversation, testing, psychological examination), as a result of which conclusions are drawn about the state of his mental development;
  • a conversation with parents, during which it becomes clear in what conditions the child lives and is raised, what is the psychological situation in the family, what kind of relationships are established between family members.

After a comprehensive study of the child’s medical history, the composition of his family, and the social and living conditions of his life, specialists identify the root causes, the degree and nature of the violations, draw up a pedagogical prognosis and a plan for correctional work.

Social consciousness

In many ways, public opinion itself influences the processes of infantilization. Imagine for a second being introduced to a 16-year-old person. What will your attitude be? Will you regard him as a child or as an adult? Or neither?

Modern teenager

Not so long ago - back in the era of Shakespeare - people were already getting married at the age of 14. Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin called his heroine of the story “Blizzard” middle-aged. The problem is that “she was in her 20s.” The age of the old woman-pawnbroker from “Crime and Punishment” by F. M. Dostoevsky was 42 years old.

For many centuries, the duration of human life was about 20-35 years. Only at the dawn of the twentieth century did the average duration increase to 50 years. Food has become better; medicine has reached another level.

All this does not mean that there were no infantiles before. Undoubtedly they were; but due to the fact that they died even earlier, we know nothing about them.

Correction of mental retardation (MDD)

Parents of children with mental retardation need to be prepared for the fact that the correction process is quite difficult and lengthy. Such children need comprehensive help from several specialists. If a child needs drug treatment, it is provided by a neurologist. The development of cognitive functions is carried out by a defectologist (oligophrenopedagogue). The psychologist, for his part, is responsible for the development of the emotional-volitional sphere. For mental retardation, such types of non-conversational psychotherapy are indicated as: sand therapy, play therapy, fairy tale therapy, art therapy, etc. To correct secondary speech disorders, you will need a speech therapist.

Symptoms of infantility

There are different forms, signs, and behavioral reactions that indicate psychological infantility.

Man having fun

Young people do not want and are not ready to take responsibility either for their own or for the lives of others. They avoid situations where they are under pressure; They avoid making decisions and blame their problems on others. Other signs of infantilism are:

  • Inability to arrange life . They are not able to cook, wash or clean the house - it’s boring. It’s better to pay than to do it yourself (yourself).
  • Manifestations of egocentrism . If their wishes and requests are not realized immediately, they may throw a tantrum. But the infant himself is in no hurry to carry out any instructions.
  • The desire for a beautiful life , but the unwillingness to make efforts to achieve it. A person wants pleasure at someone else's expense.
  • Dreams that someone “strong and influential” will appear and solve all problems . Surprisingly, even at 40, 50 and older, infantiles are still waiting for the “wizard in the blue helicopter.”
  • Fears related to the sexual sphere . The infantile often looks either like a child or like an asexual creature. He is afraid to express his own sexuality; often avoids relationships with the opposite sex.
  • Accusations against parents, bosses, government . Anyone is to blame for the infantile’s troubles, but not himself.
  • Unjustified cruelty , lack of mercy, compassion for people and all living things.
  • The desire to escape from the real world into an illusion : alcohol abuse, watching TV series around the clock or immersing yourself in computer games. In the real world, a person does not achieve anything and does not strive for it; in the virtual, he easily becomes majestic and “cool.”
  • Focusing on the external form of things rather than on their content. The infantile, first of all, sees not a person’s professional achievements, but the material component of his life: how expensive his car is, how attractive his wife is, how big his house is, and so on.

Such people are comparable to one-day butterflies, since they have no desire to improve. If the infant finds himself in a difficult situation, he becomes disoriented and becomes depressed. And then he looks for a person who would (preferably for free) solve all his problems for him. The skill of making independent decisions is not developed; and this pattern is repeated time after time.

Corrective support for a child with personal immaturity; educational and methodological material on the topic

Corrective support for a child with personal immaturity

1. The influence of teachers on a mentally infantile child is realized through play. You need to play with him in everything that happens in his life: “kindergarten”, “hospital”, “transport”, where he must act in a strong, positive role.

2. Considering that an infantile child strives for children younger than himself, he should be encouraged to communicate with peers, taught to cooperate with them, forgive grievances, and resolve conflicts. It is necessary to explain the consequences of his mistakes, encourage him to overcome difficulties, helping and rejoicing with him in his victories

3. It is recommended to assign systematic responsibilities to him, which he will clearly know, and also remember well what will happen to him for failure to fulfill them.

4. So-called “negative attention” should be avoided in relation to such children - shouting, ridicule, threats of punishment, etc., since the child may be content with these forms of attention and in the future seek to evoke them.

5. Encourage in every possible way children’s desire for independence, making their own decisions, and a responsible attitude towards the assigned work. The participation of the father in these matters is absolutely necessary, especially when raising boys. For such children, indifference and lack of attention from adults, discrepancies in the demands made by school and family or different family members are especially harmful.

To work on a retelling, try dividing the text into meaningful paragraphs, draw pictograms (pictures that help you remember), write or draw a retelling plan.

Work on developing attention - give your child a newspaper and ask him to cross out line by line (strictly from left to right and top to bottom) only one letter, for example, M. Then make it more difficult - cross out P, ​​and underline C. There are Schulte tables (you need to name and show the numbers in the table from 1 to 25 - download them on the Internet).

Childhood infantilism

About 150 years ago, doctors first described a special disorder called mental infantilism. Infantilism (from Latin infantilis - childish) is a delay in the development of the body, in which people retain the features of “childishness” in behavior for a long time.

Usually, infantilism is not noticeable until the child goes to school; school immediately highlights this deficiency in development and mercilessly aggravates it every day.

What are the common signs of infantilism?

- the child’s weak ability to subordinate his behavior to the requirements of the situation, - inability to restrain his desires and emotions, - childish spontaneity, - the predominance of play interests at school age, - carelessness, - increased mood swings, - underdeveloped sense of duty, - inability to exert volition and overcoming difficulties, - increased imitation and suggestibility, - relative weakness of abstract-logical thinking, verbal-semantic memory, - lack of cognitive activity during learning, - lack of school interests, lack of formation of the “student role” - quick satiety in any activity that requires active attention and intellectual tension, - the desire to be in the company of young children or those who patronize them, - insufficient differentiation of interpersonal relationships, - slower assimilation of acquired skills and knowledge about the world around them.

The question often arises: can mental infantilism be considered a disease? Experts agree that this is not a disease in its essence, but a state of the child’s neuropsychic sphere, a kind of background against which, depending on a variety of external and internal factors, behavioral and emotional disorders can form.

It is also necessary to know that the syndrome of mental infantilism is heterogeneous both in terms of the reasons for its occurrence and in clinical features, as well as in the degree of expression of the various components of its structure and in the dynamics of subsequent development, which depends on both external and internal factors.

At the beginning of the article, the “general”, most striking signs of mental infantilism were indicated, but it is necessary to talk about the “variants” of mental infantilism, since depending on the variant, one or another path of individual medical-psychological-pedagogical correction is chosen.

  1. “General” or “harmonic” mental infantilism is a relatively proportional combination of mental and physical immaturity (it is also called “psychophysical infantilism”, since children with this type of mental infantilism are distinguished not only by behavioral and emotional reactions that do not correspond to their registered age, but and growth retardation; body type characteristic of a younger age; children's plasticity of facial expressions and motor sphere). 2. “Somatogenic” infantilism. This type of infantilism is formed in connection with long-term, often chronic, diseases of the respiratory, cardiovascular, gastrointestinal and other body systems of a developing child.

Constant physical fatigue and mental exhaustion, as a rule, make active forms of activity difficult, contribute to the formation of timidity, inhibition, increased anxiety, lack of self-confidence, fears for one’s health and the lives of loved ones. At the same time, such personality qualities also develop under the influence of overprotection (increased care), the regime of prohibitions and restrictions under which the sick child finds himself.

3. “Disharmonic infantilism” is a variant of complicated mental infantilism (a combination of signs of mental infantilism with other psychopathological syndromes and symptoms that are unusual for it. With the disharmonious variant of mental infantilism, signs of emotional-volitional immaturity, characteristic of any type of infantilism, are combined with unstable mood, egocentrism, excessive needs, increased affective excitability, conflict, rudeness, deceit, a tendency to fiction, boastfulness, increased interest in negative events (scandals, fights, accidents, accidents, fires, etc.) Along with this, signs of disorders in the sphere of drives are often found: early sexuality, cruelty towards the weak and defenseless, increased appetite and other behavioral disorders 4. Organic infantilism is one of the manifestations of long-term consequences of organic brain damage that occurred in the early stages of a child’s development. Along with the manifestations common to infantilism, such children exhibit symptoms of cerebrasthenia: paroxysmal headaches; fluctuations in the level of performance not only during the week, but also during one day; instability of the emotional background of the mood, poor tolerance of weather changes, as well as deficiencies in the development of motor coordination, especially fine movements, reflected in handwriting, drawing and delayed skills in tying shoes and fastening buttons. At the same time, the “general” manifestations of infantilism also change - less vivid emotional liveliness and flattened emotions, poverty of imagination and creativity in their play activity, some of its monotony, an increased (euphoric) tone of mood, ease of entering into a conversation and unproductive sociability, impulsiveness, insufficient criticism of their behavior, low level of aspirations and little interest in evaluating their actions, easy suggestibility, great motor disinhibition, sometimes with affectively-excitable reactions.

5. “Psychogenic” (“sociogenic”) infantilism is formed in conditions of hypoprotection and neglect (in families where children are “abandoned” or among social orphans). It is manifested by the immaturity of the child’s emotional-volitional sphere, impulsiveness and increased suggestibility, combined with a limited level of knowledge and ideas necessary for successful learning at school and adaptation in society. The other extreme at which psychogenic infantilism is formed is “greenhouse” education (mental infantilism is combined with egocentrism, extreme lack of independence, mental exhaustion and inability to exert volition, inability to take into account the interests of others, vanity, thirst for recognition and praise). It also occurs during despotic upbringing of children, with the use of threats, physical punishment and constant prohibitions; emotional-volitional immaturity is manifested in extreme indecision, lack of one’s own initiative and weak activity.

Naturally, the question arises, what is the prognosis for the presence of such a condition in children.

Unfortunately, the dynamics and prognosis of children with “harmonic” infantilism are ambiguous. In some cases, when psychophysical development (maturation) that does not correspond to the passport age is determined genetically (is of a family nature) and the child’s condition is understood by parents and teachers, school difficulties are temporary in nature with subsequent leveling off (the child “matures”). In others, with an increase in school gaps, pubertal (hormonal) changes and unfavorable external circumstances (inadequate attitude of parents, teachers, lack of psychological help - training), there is a violation of “harmony” and the appearance of pathocharacterological personality traits of an unstable or hysterical type.

With regard to complicated forms of mental infantilism, the following is true. With the onset of adolescence, the described character traits and associated violations of social behavior often intensify, while the traits of childishness, on the contrary, recede into the background. Character traits characteristic of an unstable personality type begin to appear: carelessness, superficiality in communication, inconstancy of interests and attachments, the desire for frequent changes of impressions, aimless wandering around the city, imitation of antisocial behavior, absenteeism and refusal to study, use of alcohol and psychodependent drugs, sexual promiscuity, passion for gambling, theft, sometimes participation in robberies. Despite frequent warnings about possible punishments and endless promises to improve, the described phenomena tend to be repeated.

More often, an unfavorable variant of the dynamics of mental infantilism is due to a combination of unfavorable “internal” factors (“infantile constitution” is formed on the basis of metabolic and trophic disorders associated with prematurity, low birth weight, as well as with frequent or long-term, but relatively mild, diseases in early childhood). age against the background of reduced immunity) and “external” (unfavorable social environment, impaired relationships with peers, parents, teachers, lack of medical, psychological and pedagogical correction).

Sometimes the process of growing up is delayed so much that even after adolescence the subject remains a “child”, makes decisions rashly and thoughtlessly, carries out assignments irresponsibly, his judgments are striking in naivety and superficiality. The consequences of lack of independence in adolescence are much more serious than for younger schoolchildren.

Work with infantile children should be based on the following recommendations:

It is advisable for teachers or parents to consult with a psychoneurologist with their child; he may need medication treatment. The child needs an individual approach that takes into account the characteristics of his mental organization.

1. The influence of teachers on a mentally infantile child is realized through play. You need to play with him in everything that happens in his life: “kindergarten”, “hospital”, “transport”, where he must act in a strong, positive role.

2. Considering that an infantile child strives for children younger than himself, he should be encouraged to communicate with peers, taught to cooperate with them, forgive grievances, and resolve conflicts. It is necessary to explain the consequences of his mistakes, encourage him to overcome difficulties, helping and rejoicing with him in his victories

3. It is recommended to assign systematic responsibilities to him, which he will clearly know, and also remember well what will happen to him for failure to fulfill them.

4. So-called “negative attention” should be avoided in relation to such children - shouting, ridicule, threats of punishment, etc., since the child may be content with these forms of attention and in the future seek to evoke them.

5. Encourage in every possible way children’s desire for independence, making their own decisions, and a responsible attitude towards the assigned work. The participation of the father in these matters is absolutely necessary, especially when raising boys. For such children, indifference and lack of attention from adults, discrepancies in the demands made by school and family or different family members are especially harmful.

6. If a child is not ready for school by the age of 7, it is better to detain him for a year and send him to school at the age of 8 with a developed student attitude. The desire to learn, the desire for mental work, and responsibility must first be formed on easy, accessible material.

7. In general, it is recommended that such children be taught in a correctional and developmental class, which involves individual lessons and facilitates the full assimilation of the curriculum.

And probably the last one. Infantile children are immature individuals, they are characterized by suggestibility, a craving for easy, inexpensive, accessible pleasures, adventurous stories, which can lead to tragedy. Therefore, parents and educators should not relax and always unobtrusively keep such a child under control.

How to eliminate infantilism in children?

If parents notice that the baby is weak in character and childish, psychologists, as a rule, give the following recommendations.

  • Communicate more and spend time with your child . When buying clothes and toys, give him a little freedom.
  • Pay attention to the baby's social adaptation . It is usually difficult for such a child to communicate with peers. Find out why and try to solve the problem with him. The baby should feel confident. To do this, you can enroll your child in a section where there are many other children. He must gradually get used to the team and even solve some problems on his own.
  • If necessary, contact a child psychologist . Often parents themselves encourage the child’s dependence and immaturity. The specialist sees the family from the outside and will give the elders the necessary instructions that will help correct the child’s development.

There is no point in starting a situation where an infantile boy grows into a “mama’s boy” rather than a man. If parents do not help their children at an early stage to get out of the networks of infantilism, in the future they will not receive an independent personality, but a human child.

What does the development of infantility lead to?

It is not enough to understand the term of what infantilism is. To begin to understand this problem, you also need to know the basic manifestations of the problem. The most common of them is a reluctance to make important decisions and a fear of communicating with adults. Often such people try to shift important tasks to others, avoiding even such things as doing their own laundry or ironing things. Although it has been proven in practice that often such people earn money themselves and can have very good material wealth.

In many ways, representatives of this social category are selfish and pay more attention to their own problems and concerns. Unfortunately, it is almost impossible to get out of this state on your own.

Ways to overcome immaturity for an adult

There are not many self-critical people among infantiles. But if an immature person realizes that something is wrong with him, this is commendable. You can start the path to an adult and responsible life with the following steps.

Make independent decisions

There is no need to wait for your mom or spouse to approve your plans. Make your own choice, trying to correctly assess the possible benefits and potential risks.

Physically separate from parents

Many people believe that if finances are tight, then living with your parents at 30 is normal. We hasten to disappoint you: this is by no means true. Starting to live your own life means taking a step into the unknown. But those young people who still decide to make changes do not regret the money spent.

Photo by Mike Kotsch on Unsplash

Having moved away from their parents, they begin to understand: financial well-being depends only on themselves. And they often make better career decisions than those who continue to live in their parents’ nest for decades.

Arrange your life to your liking

Hearing your own desires and following them is not as simple a task as it seems at first glance. Infants have a weak psyche, often filled with introjects - ideas once learned from other people.

For example, a child often hears from a school teacher that it is impossible to earn a lot in an honest way. In adulthood, he may forget about these words, but the idea itself (introject) will continue to exist in his unconscious.

Photo by Shubham Sharan on Unsplash

Separating introjects from personal desires often requires regular and high-quality psychotherapy. But it’s quite possible to do something yourself. You can start listening to yourself in small things: what movie would you like to watch? What would you like to choose for dinner - sushi or noodles? Then you can move on to more serious and fateful decisions.

Learn to stand your ground

Not only capricious young ladies or young men, but also quiet modest ones are infantiles. Such people are a real “gold mine” for employers. They will not say a word against you, even if they are asked for the tenth time to stay late at work without additional pay.

Slack at work

You should not assume that only people of narrow minds argue. This is actually true - but only when it comes to unimportant things. When it comes to your life and personal comfort, insisting on your own means demonstrating a mature position.

The “inner child” lives in every adult; and manifestations of infantilism can also occur in quite mature and respectable people. But in any case, it is important not to succumb to the influence of childishness, feeling like a constantly dissatisfied and disappointed child. After all, the quality of our life, as well as the ability to be psychologically mature, is always in our hands.

Mental retardation = mental retardation?

Quite often, children with mental retardation are misdiagnosed as having mental retardation (MR). Children raised in orphanages especially suffer from this. A truly mild degree of UO and ZPR have similar symptoms, but these are different disorders, and in order to differentiate them, long-term comprehensive observation by a specialist is necessary.

Similar symptoms

  • emotional-volitional immaturity;
  • infantilism;
  • low level of cognitive activity;
  • paucity of ideas about the surrounding world;
  • disturbances of perception, thinking, memory and speech;
  • lack of skills such as analysis, generalization, comparison, synthesis.

Differences between ZPR and UO

Mental retardation is a general name for many deviations in which there is a persistent and irreversible decrease in intellectual abilities. This is a complex of syndromes caused by organic lesions and brain pathologies (congenital or acquired). With UI, mental functions suffer, general mental underdevelopment and intellectual failure are observed. The intelligence of a child with mental retardation will not exceed a certain level, no matter how carefully worked with him is carried out.

Unlike UO, mental development delay is reversible; the child develops in the same direction as ordinary children, but much more slowly. Children with mental retardation are learnable, amenable to correction, and act adequately (for example, when playing, they use toys in accordance with their purpose). During training sessions, with the help of a teacher, they are able to learn the principle of completing a task and use it to solve similar problems. Children with mental retardation are characterized by abrupt development of all forms of mental activity (for example, attention increases abruptly by the age of 8-9 years). With mental retardation, the prognosis is more favorable and there is a high probability that the child will return to normal, subject to high-quality psychological and pedagogical support and family participation. Of course, with UO, corrective work is also necessary, but as a rule, the dynamics are slower and have their limits.

It is very important to differentiate mental retardation from mental retardation as early as possible and begin corrective work on time.

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