All people feel differently about revenge. For many, this is the only way out of a difficult situation that can lead to peace of mind. Someone is just planning to punish the offender, wondering what revenge is. She is capable of pushing a person to do terrible things in order to restore justice.
Revenge - what is it?
This feeling has long ruled a person, along with love, generosity, hatred and resentment. They clearly explain what revenge is with examples from literature: in the poem by A.S. Pushkin’s “Eugene Onegin” it led to the death of the poet Lensky, and A. Dumas’s novel “The Count of Monte Cristo” tells how the desire for punishment became Dantes’ main life goal. It is very important to learn not to give in to feelings of revenge, to try to forgive your offenders, because according to the unspoken law of the boomerang, all evil comes back, just like good.
What is blood feud?
The concept of generosity and the need to forgive one’s offenders is not widespread. In many countries, vendetta still exists - blood feud, this is retribution for a person who has committed a serious crime, in the same coin. Its basic principle is that anyone who, intentionally or accidentally, is guilty of the death of a person must die himself. Blood feud is especially cruel and is even inherited. There are cases when family clans took revenge on each other from generation to generation for the mistakes of their great-grandfathers.
Lust for power and vindictiveness
Parents want their child to be the best, smartest and well-mannered. However, children sometimes behave unpredictably and this confuses parents. To understand the behavior of children, you simply need to know about the different types of their behavior. The most difficult test for parents is the cases encountered in parenting - these are children with vindictive behavior.
Why doesn't revenge help?
Many people mistakenly believe that if they punish their offender, make him suffer, then they will feel better. In fact, both of them suffer from vindictiveness. It also happens that a person who has decided to take revenge finds it difficult to bear what he has done. It seems that punishment has happened, the offender is punished, he suffers, but the feeling of satisfaction does not come, it only gets worse. Revenge increases aggression, this is a fact proven by psychologists. A person who has succumbed to this negative feeling becomes like his offender, and from this he suffers and suffers himself.
Long-awaited changes
As soon as you decide that you are ready to enjoy life and let changes into it, you need to immediately begin to act. After all, there is no truth in words, only in actions, and if you put it off until tomorrow, it will never come. First of all, we need to speak out so that the unnecessary heavy burden is removed from our hearts, thoughts, souls and shoulders. Only accepting reality as such will help you rethink what is happening around you and return to reality. We humans are all living beings who are able to think and reflect, we are characterized by grief and suffering, but why dwell on them? Probably the only way out is to stop thinking about what is happening as something tragic and start appreciating every moment - because it is beautiful and unique.
What is revenge for good?
There are situations when only response actions, confident and timely, can stop a person. Then the principle of revenge for good operates, punishment becomes the only way that will help in the current situation. In this case, it, like medicine, will pursue good goals, but this cannot serve as an excuse. When there is no other way to protect yourself, your family and friends, revenge can take the place of the court and implement what the state and an entire army of human rights defenders are unable to do.
Can revenge be justified?
Many people disagree on the question: is revenge good or bad? Should you give in to your feelings and punish your offenders, or should you be generous and try to forgive them? When discussing what revenge is, we must not forget about such important concepts that influence life as faith, upbringing, and morality. You can justify revenge in your own thoughts, but will this be an argument for others? If you ask believers what vindictiveness and generosity are, then for them any manifestation of aggression towards people is a grave sin.
Retribution or restoration?
To inflict a wound on another or to heal our own - we can choose what to spend time and energy on. “The starting point of revenge is the flame of rage, a feeling of resentment that cannot be tolerated. Revenge is born from the desire to react urgently, without allowing injustice to drown in compromise, cowardice, and everyday life,” explains philosopher Jean-François Bossy. Nevertheless, he proposes to follow the path of covering one's own losses and achieving one's own goals, a path that will turn retribution into reparation. In such cases, Seneca considered it correct to act gradually.
Is revenge dangerous for the avenger himself?
Already mentioned above are the reasons why revenge is not a solution in a difficult situation. After all, as a result, some kind of energy funnel may form, which will tighten. This can lead to self-torture, nightmares and even serious psychological consequences. In addition, revenge can become a reason for revenge on the part of other people, which will ultimately turn into a kind of snowball that brings pain and negativity.
Why does revenge destroy the soul?
The decision to punish a person is ambiguous and implies anger and resentment towards the one who disappointed and made another suffer. When discussing whether revenge is dangerous, one must understand that a person whose thoughts are occupied with how to harm his offender becomes callous, embittered, cruel, he does not see the beauty around him. This negative feeling can destroy everything good that is in people, it destroys them from the inside. After the avenger carries out his plans, he suffers no less; the feeling of shame, the burden for the actions committed complement the resentment that arose earlier.
A mechanism that encourages people to act
Revenge causes people to retaliate and is a powerful emotional trigger. This experience is very common in the lives of people, regardless of culture, belonging to a particular social class, level of education or upbringing. The consciousness of people does not reject the idea of anger and countermeasures aimed at causing harm to enemies. According to evolutionary psychologist Michael McCullough of the University of Miami, revenge increases crime and misconduct.
More than half of school videos that are compromising in nature are based on the desire to get even with the offender. Approximately one fifth of all murders are committed due to the desire for retribution. This characteristic feature also determines political realities. It is believed that Donald Trump's victory in the American presidential election was led by the sentiments of white working-class Americans, who suffered the most from the globalization of the world economy.
How to stop taking revenge?
The desire to cause harm can cause various problems; every person who is interested in what it means to take revenge should understand this. That's why, instead of developing a punishment plan, you need to try to forget about grievances and direct your energy in a different direction. This is not easy to do, every day you need to fill yourself with goodness and positivity, and the result will not be long in coming.
- Be sure to throw out negative emotions, for example, by playing sports or simply screaming into your pillow at home.
- Learn to forgive without wasting your precious time on destructive energy, channel it into a creative channel.
- A great way to deal with negativity is visualization. Play out a revenge plan in your head, imagine how the offender suffers, and then mentally forgive and let him go.
- If it is difficult to overcome attacks of aggression, then it is better to seek help from a psychologist.
Aggression is the hidden side of pleasure
The connection between aggression and pleasure is not new. The founding father of modern psychology, Sigmund Freud, understood that people with revanchist sentiments, having achieved the desired result, generally feel incredible relief. However, the scientist did not link aggressive behavior to a special form of pleasure. These findings have only recently become apparent. The results of another series of experiments by David Chester and Nathan De Vol were published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology in March 2017.
Just like getting ready for a date: how beavers wash themselves in the river (video)
Mini braids: quick simple hairstyles for a walk or remote work
“I don’t depend on men”: Sofia Ernst about her success
To make some participants feel rejected, the researchers excluded them from the people who played the computer game. Each volunteer was then given a Voodoo doll and pins. As a result, people from the camp of the rejected inflicted many more injections on the doll than those who frolicked in the general mass. This test was repeated twice: first remotely through online services, and then with visual contact between participants in laboratory conditions. In the online version, instead of a voodoo doll, participants were allowed to take revenge on their offenders (in fact, these were not real people, but a computer program) by making an unpleasant loud noise.
Types of revenge
● Intentional is not always thoughtful, and the most common revenge is thoughtless and impulsive: everyday revenge. The scale of this kind of revenge varies greatly: from “saying nasty things about you for talking about me” to “punctured tires” or “punched in the face.” The desire for revenge can arise from vindictiveness as a character trait, from a bad mood and a conviction that revenge is justified and natural.
● Deliberate retribution has, one might say, a pedagogical meaning - punishment for a crime committed.
● As for blood feud, this is to a small extent a psychological phenomenon - it is to a greater extent an element of national customs and national culture. In modern civilization, such revenge is viewed rather as barbarism.
● Symbolic revenge is one of the most psychologically interesting types of revenge: revenge against strangers who act as a substitute for the offender (for example, relatives), despite the fact that the offense could have been inflicted many years ago...
There is a very good parable that will be on topic
Two neighbors lived opposite each other in the village. One had a luxurious house, another had a ruined one, one had a beautiful garden, and the other had nothing.
And somehow a neighbor who had nothing could not stand it because of envy and decided to do something nasty to his prosperous neighbor.
Take a bucket of slop and pour it on the door and leave this bucket near the door so that the smell is even nastier. The neighbor, having come home and seeing this not very pleasant picture, took and washed the entire door, took a bucket, washed it until it shined and put a bunch of ripe and juicy apples that grew in his garden into this bucket and went to the offender’s neighbor.
I knocked and waited for the neighbor to come out. The offender Neighbor came out thinking that he was about to gloat, but his expectations were not justified, as he was surprised to see the one whom he intended to offend smiling from ear to ear and with a whole bucket of ripe apples, which were handed to him with the words: “Who has what?” in his soul, that’s what he should share” - and he turned around and left, leaving his neighbor in bewilderment with a bucket of ripe apples.
Everyone can do the same, respond to evil with good. If we all did this, there would be much more good in the world than bad.
Read also: Sound does not work on iPhone
