Symptoms
In simple words, the definition of “fear of men in women” is the answer to the question of what it is – androphobia. Girls who have been exposed to the disease consider men to be the focus of evil and negative qualities, a source of danger and pain.
The problem “I'm afraid of the guy I like” is spreading more and more and is affecting different strata of society. By the way, androphobia is sometimes also characteristic of men - representatives avoid communication with their own gender.
It is necessary to highlight the main group of frightening signs that may indicate androphobia:
- Fear of males, reduction of contacts;
- Rare communication with people of the opposite sex, lack of friends and romantic relationships;
- Refusal to visit public places where there may be a crowd of men.
In severe forms of androphobia, physical symptoms may develop:
- Panic attacks;
- Blood pressure surges;
- Increased sweating;
- Increased heart rate;
- Feeling of difficulty breathing.
It is often almost impossible to diagnose the disease in the early stages on your own. Sometimes an untreated illness ends sadly - a tendency to alcoholism and drug addiction appears, and suicidal thoughts may appear.
You found out why the problem “I'm afraid to live with a guy” can arise. It's time to figure out what causes androphobia.
Universal phenomenon
Some of the notorious daredevils are afraid for their loved ones, some are afraid of dying without completing the main tasks of their lives, and finally, there are those who, despite their seemingly obvious fearlessness, are afraid to fly on an airplane or be in a dense crowd of people.
In a word, every person has his own fears - big or small, which everyone tries to cope with - alone or with the help of a psychologist. Alas, absolutely fearless people most likely do not exist in reality. The first step towards overcoming fear is recognizing it. There are different methods of getting rid of fear, some of them - quite effective - should be used only under the supervision of a specialist. And yet, you can try to cope with fear on your own.
Causes of androphobia
Why is a girl afraid of a man, where does the panic and rejection of males come from? Experts identify several main reasons that provoke the appearance and development of the disease:
- Actions of a violent nature on the part of persons of the opposite sex - husband, father or other relatives/friends. This can be physical harm, psychological violence;
The formation of incorrect attitudes under the influence of female society - growing up without a father/brother/grandfather in a family where women are afraid or have a negative attitude towards males;- Unsuccessful relationship with a man - especially the first experience;
- A negative first sexual experience leads to the thoughts “I’m afraid of sex with a man”;
- Watching films that focus on violence, cruelty and physical abuse from men;
- Constant monitoring of manifestations of male cruelty aimed at treating a child or other physically weak creature. Scandals or quarrels seen in childhood especially stand out.
The question of what to do if I am afraid of my husband overtakes many women - this problem is very common in modern society. Panic is a disease that you cannot cope with on your own. Androphobia should be treated by a specialist.
How to protect yourself
If a woman continues to live with her husband,
in this case it would not hurt to enroll in self-defense courses. This may seem funny, but in practice it has saved more than one life. Learn some techniques that will help you in the fight against the tyrant. Leave on time if you see that your spouse is aggressive. Do not give in to provocations, go to another room. It is best if the room is locked. Make sure your phone is always available so you can call and call for help at any time.
How to protect yourself from a tyrant if your wife wants a divorce
The first thing you need to do is prepare the ground for a new life. That is, it is necessary to take and hide all the necessary documents, such as a passport, birth certificates of a child, marriage, papers confirming property, and a bank card. The next stage is to provide yourself with finances for the first time. If you are a housewife, get a job, or save in advance and keep money with relatives. No bills, just cash. If you decide not just to leave, but to run away from the tyrant, you need to know the exact time when he will not be home. Think through everything in advance: what things you will take with you, where you will go. If you don’t have relatives or friends where you can stay, find out in advance the address of the center where they help women who find themselves in a similar situation. If your life partner hits you, stop beating and contact the police. Wasting time thinking in this situation is dangerous. Try not to contact your tyrant husband under any pretext. Divorce is only possible in court. Try not to be alone on the street at night - no one knows what’s in the head of an angry man.
How to live with a tyrant husband: advice from a psychologist
What can you do to make a tyrant leave a woman alone? To do this, it is necessary to analyze and identify the reason for such aggressive behavior. For example, if outbursts of anger occur under the influence of alcohol, it is necessary to minimize possible feasts, or keep guests until the last minute, until the husband falls asleep first, or try to avoid communication with an inadequate husband.
In addition, do not be afraid of losing such a husband. If he feels that you are not afraid of being left without him, he will behave more restrained. But do not provoke open quarrels. If you are not happy with something, let him know and end the conversation. Say several times that you need to be treated with respect, otherwise you will break up.
What not to do
In order for there to be no tyranny in the family, a woman must know exactly how to behave and understand exactly what should not be done under any circumstances!
- Do not leave domestic violence unpunished. Even if you have decided to forgive your loved one, you cannot do it just like that. Let him seek your forgiveness. As soon as the tyrant feels his impunity, his “test” attacks will become systematic, which each time will take on an increasingly greater scale of disaster.
- Don't cry when you are humiliated. If you can fight back, don't be afraid to defend yourself. If you are a shy person by nature, gather your strength and move away so that he does not see your tears.
- Don't make your husband jealous. Women mistakenly believe that this way they can awaken his love. On the contrary, in a fit of jealousy, men become very aggressive, which can negatively affect your health.
- Don't threaten to file a police report. If you decide to film the beating, do not share your plans, otherwise you may face more serious physical harm.
- Never ridicule, joke, or speak ironically about your husband, especially in the company of friends or strangers.
Treatment: how to stop being afraid of a man?
A woman who asks the question: “I’m afraid of relationships with men, what should I do?” – is already beginning to move towards recovery. Anyone who has accepted the presence of a problem can get rid of anxiety and build normal relationships, have a family and children.
Experts note that the disease (with the right approach) is steadily corrected and treatable - the main thing is the girl’s desire and careful work with a psychotherapist.
The following methods are used in the fight against androphobia:
- Group therapy - all problems are discussed out loud;
- Modeling behavior. The specialist and the patient rehearse behavior in possible situations;
- Hypnotherapy – obtaining positive attitudes on a subconscious level;
- Correction with medications.
To understand how to stop being afraid of men, you need to independently form positive thoughts and try to overcome barriers and start communicating with the opposite sex.
Possible consequences
And there is only loneliness ahead
. Naturally, any fear poisons a person’s life and leads to the development of any difficulties or troubles. As for the phobia in question, we are talking about the following results:
- loneliness;
- absence of family, children;
- unsuccessful career, a woman is afraid to boldly climb the career ladder;
- inability to communicate with the boss, lack of communication skills can lead to loss of position.
Interesting Facts
Finally, two interesting facts about fear of men:
- Recently, the term “social androphobia” has become widespread. The media creates the idea that men are insensitive creatures - this modern trend leads to a reduction in life expectancy and an increase in diseases among the male sex;
- Very often, unenlightened people confuse the concept of illness with feminism. It is worth understanding the basic differences between a socio-political movement and a pathological condition. Feminists do not oppose males, but only defend their freedoms and rights.
We talked about the symptoms and treatment of androphobia - if you are faced with a pathological condition and find signs in yourself or a loved one, we recommend that you urgently consult a specialist. Be careful and take care of your mental health!
Fear of relationships: how to get rid of it
In any situation involving feelings and intimacy, the only person you can control is yourself. You have to decide who to be with. It is important to take several actions to begin to break down internal barriers.
Face your phobias head on. To avoid giving in to fears, it is important to first admit that you have them. Avoiding the conditions that cause them is not a solution, but makes the problem worse.
Philophobia usually occurs after a bad experience with a previous partner, so gradually letting go of negative emotional memories will lead to you being able to open up to love.
Learn to manage your emotions. Feelings change thinking and can go out of control if left unchecked. One must try to leave behind all irrational thoughts created by past experiences and expectations for the future.
Trust people. Keeping all negative feelings inside yourself is very dangerous.
Communication is key. You must open up to people you trust. A simple conversation with a loved one will make you look at things differently and help reduce emotional stress.
Give yourself time. Emotional wounds can take days, weeks, or even months to heal. Take time to properly focus on your life and learn to live with yourself, discover new experiences and find ways to be happy.
Seek help if necessary. Since this is an anxiety disorder, it is recommended to see a psychologist or psychotherapist. He will give you recommendations so that you can understand where your illness is coming from and prescribe treatment.
Olga F.
You have nothing to lose
Well, what if fear has brought you to the point where the situation seems absolutely hopeless to you? All the better. In the sense that you have nothing to lose if you start acting right now, and given that hopeless situations are actually extremely rare, you can come out of the situation as a winner - and this despite all your fears.
Article on the topic
Phobias of great people. What were Dali, Gogol, Freud and Hitchcock afraid of? Most people think that their fear is unique, but in reality this is not entirely true. All (or almost all) fears have long been described and included in the appropriate classifications.
It's no secret that many people are afraid of going to the dentist. The minutes spent in line to see the doctor seem endless and terrible, reminiscent of the time just before an execution. But a neighbor in turn shares his impressions of his yesterday’s visit to this specialist: “He’s a top-class professional, he treats teeth superbly and doesn’t hurt at all, and in general - what a luck to get to see him!” Such words can, if not completely rid you of fear, but at least significantly reduce it.
By the way, in the same queue there may be people who are no less afraid of the dentist’s chair than you are. It is possible that communicating with them will further increase your fear, but you can often expect the exact opposite effect. You will realize firsthand that your fear is not unique, but when experiencing emotions similar to yours, other people do not bang their heads against the wall, do not faint or scream.
All of them, to one degree or another, try to overcome their fear. So you can do it too! So don’t keep fear to yourself, go to people, communicate and, most likely, you will really feel better.
