30 golden principles that will completely change your life and bring harmony and happiness to it

Useful tips

What is happiness? Each person describes this condition differently. And if you combine all the answers together, it turns out that happiness is a state of mind experienced by people when their affairs are progressing exactly the way they want.

Such a person is completely satisfied with what is happening around him. This applies to absolutely all aspects of both personal and social life.

Undoubtedly, each of us wants to become a happy and successful person, because a happy person can be immediately identified from the crowd

, it is noticeable immediately.
He walks confidently, always has a happy smile on his face and is very friendly towards other people. The actions of such a person and his behavior speak completely about him.
The main reasons for the success of a happy person are that he knows how to appreciate every moment of his life.

Unfortunately, not all people are capable of being happy. After all, happiness does not come to us by chance. And if we are not satisfied with something in life, then the time has come to change “something” in a different, better direction.

Changing lives

What is happiness?

Do you think that happiness is an expensive car, a bank account or a high position? No, this is far from true. The feeling of happiness is completely unrelated to these factors. How many rich people are actually very unhappy, they give up their business and go to live far away in the outback. Or some tramp who walks through the park in simple and inexpensive clothes may feel like the happiest person in the entire Universe.

Therefore, the main thing is how to change yourself from the inside. It is impossible to become happy if you simply move to another city or change your occupation, since your old problems will not go away. This will continue until you want and begin to change, until you feel harmony and joy within yourself.

Rule 8: Tell the truth, or at least don't lie.

Firstly, lying has a destructive effect on the individual. At the moment of lying, a person always knows that he is lying - this is his conscious choice. However, people are designed in such a way that they try to rationalize their actions. They begin to think like this: “I cheated because the world is unfair to me or because people are stupid and deserve such treatment. It's not my fault anyway." Thus, a person who deceives others very quickly begins to deceive himself. As a result, he betrays himself, makes himself weaker, and plunges into an inauthentic existence.

Secondly, lying is the road to totalitarianism. Quite often, people prefer to lie in order not to go into confrontation, not to enter into conflict and not to disturb the fragile social peace. As a result, people who are not accustomed to telling the truth are unable to stand up for themselves and say “No!” when it is really necessary. Every time a person saw that injustice was happening, but turned a blind eye to it, he made himself weaker and the state stronger. Totalitarianism is always built on lies, it denies the need to take responsibility for Being, it calls for relying on faith in what you already know, and not looking around and seeing what is happening before your eyes. Lies corrupt the state. Therefore, open your eyes, take responsibility, tell the truth and then you can fix what needs fixing, you can improve your life and the lives of people around you.

Happiness in your personal life

Gratitude

Know how to thank those around you, the Universe, God, for everything you have and possess. It is known that your day will go the way you started it. Imagine that you quarreled with someone in the morning, ruining the mood of your loved ones and yourself. How do you think this day will go for you?

It is very important to understand that you need to start your morning with gratitude for what you have, for what you already have. You must be able to be grateful for the fact that the sun is shining, and you have arms and legs and you are full of strength for new achievements. The more sincere you are at this moment, the more your energy will increase and you will receive more vigor and joy.

Longevity and optimism

There is a wonderful expression: “You can get sick, but you should never feel sick!” Our personal assessment of our own physical health is always an order of magnitude higher and more important than many medical reports.

Various diseases, such as heart attacks, injuries or strokes, will not have power over us until we begin to perceive them as some kind of breakdown during our journey, and not the journey itself as a whole. People who are even in the most difficult condition and are optimistic, as a rule, feel much better than their peers who constantly whine and are complete pessimists in life.

Suffering from passion

Qualities such as envy, cruelty, anger or hatred have never made a single person happy, have they? Once you get rid of them, you will immediately notice that life has become easier, simpler and better. And while you send negativity to the Universe and the outside world, you will receive it back, and in abundance. Because what you give is what you get back. After all, the law of attraction works not only in the field of physics, but also in other areas.

It is very difficult to learn to forgive others and be more tolerant of people instead of blaming them. But in order to be cruel and evil, envious and callous, you usually don’t need to make any special efforts; it always works out somehow, of course.

Always try to be better and cleaner. Let this principle of self-development be reflected in every action you perform.

Reality

What we think about usually has the ability to materialize. This applies to both positive and negative thoughts. If a person is used to always tuning in to something bad, then usually there is negativity in his life. And when he begins to change his thoughts and turns them into positive ones, then his life begins to change for the better.

In order to find true happiness, you need not only to always think about it in your thoughts, but also try to attract everything positive and good into your life. To do this, you need to surround yourself only with bright people, and try to create harmony and peace in your home. After all, in essence, happiness is always near us, it’s just that sometimes you just need to reach out and take a small step towards.

The path to happiness

The world is structured in such a way that sometimes we cannot influence the course of an event in any way. Therefore, you should not worry about anything. We need to learn to accept what we cannot change and what we cannot influence, and there is no point in worrying about what is not subject to our will.

There are things that we will never be able to influence, so there is no point in arguing about them. This applies to weather conditions, economic situations in the country, some force majeure circumstances and other various weaknesses of people.

The most important thing is to understand that if we are unable to change something, then we just need to experience it and internally accept it for ourselves. Besides, it might actually not be so bad after all.

A person is designed in such a way that he suffers mainly because of how he reacts to what is happening, and not because of what exactly it is happening to him. Our life consists of only ten percent of what happens to us and what happens to us, and ninety percent of how we react to it.

Rule 4: Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not who someone else is today.

We are used to comparing ourselves with the people around us. And, most often, with those who are much more successful. Even if we have just embarked on the chosen path.

Peterson suggests stopping listening to your inner critic. Of course, he has his role - he honestly points out shortcomings. No one could develop if they did not know themselves, their strengths and weaknesses. However, you need to be able to turn off the internal critic, otherwise the burden of constant criticism can crush the personality. How to do it?

First, accept the simple idea that the world is complex: it doesn’t happen that someone is the best at everything, and the other is a complete loser. Everyone has a career, family, friends, hobbies, sports, etc. in life. It’s simply impossible to be the best at everything at once, but you can be the best at something specific. You can be a bad office worker, but be a good parent, or be a master of some board game, or grow the most delicious tomatoes in the country. If one thing doesn’t work out, you can try something else, you can come up with something new. You can choose something that suits your individual combination of strengths and weaknesses, and realize yourself in this area.

Secondly, it is necessary to realize that the games that everyone plays are so individual, so specific and related to a specific situation, that there is no point in comparing yourself with others. The inner critic presents everything as if only one single area of activity is significant, and palms off the real star in this area for comparison. A person begins to reason in the following way: “Either I am Steve Jobs, or I am no one.” However, the reality is more complicated, everyone participates in many games at once, and in each of these games he grows, develops, and gradually improves. He may never become Steve Jobs, but overall his life represents upward movement. Every day is a victory over yesterday’s self.

Changing lives for the better

Learning self-respect

A happy life will be possible only when we recognize some of our characteristics and abilities, as well as a sense of the importance of our personality. You shouldn’t blindly repeat other people’s actions; you need to learn to discover your own potential, and also learn to use your abilities in life.

You can usually achieve incredible results if you have sufficiently high self-esteem. According to psychologists, it is very important to respect and love unconditionally, to accept your personality in everything in order to receive a response from the public.

A person who is insecure is unlikely to be able to reveal any of his specific qualities and talents, attract the attention of people around him, and also gain the respect of other people in society. Such a process directly depends on the internal state of a person, his own assessment.

Farewell to grievances

via GIPHY

In order for happiness to follow you relentlessly, you need to learn to forgive all insults and disappointments. You need to look only forward and never regret what has already passed. The past is no more, it is gone forever. That's why it's the past, so you can never return to it again.

If someone offended you, forgive and move on; if suddenly you missed some good opportunity, forget about it. If you don't do this, there is a risk that you will miss an even better opportunity.

It is necessary to clearly understand that a person who carries resentment and disappointments in life will never become happy, since any experiences will corrode him from the inside. As a result, a person, as a rule, develops various diseases, and a bad mood is his constant and faithful companion.

Organizing your day correctly

It is very good if every person learns to properly organize their upcoming day. To do this, you should implement the habit of creating a plan for the next day in the evening.

This way it will be very easy to understand which things are most important to you and which ones are not so important. And most importantly, your energy will not be wasted on something that was not in your plans. Statistics show that the most successful people always carefully plan their next day in the evening.

Choosing a path

Each person always independently chooses his own path along which he intends to follow. If you feel unhappy, then you should admit that you are moving in the wrong direction and it is better to change this path.

You shouldn’t blame yourself for anything and look for various problems that will undoubtedly only destroy your life. Don't do any soul-searching. You are where you are, but you can change the situation and the place you will be in a year from now and in the future.

Exercise

Think about and answer the following questions:

Which recommendation did you find most valuable and applicable to your life?
Could you start using these communication hacks?
What rules do you already use in personal relationships and what could you try in the near future?
How do job and career recommendations reflect your situation? What would make sense to start implementing?
Think over your program to practice the skills you like. For example, set aside 3 days for each communication life hack or a month to learn how to create internal motivation in your loved ones. Put it in your calendar, set reminders, come up with a reward and go!

We wish you good luck!

We also recommend reading:

Storytelling
Effective communication techniques: a selection of useful materials
How to Deal with Difficult People
Mnemonics for beginners
Rules and ways to improve memory
Techniques for a successful presentation: a selection of useful materials
Four burner theory
Coaching: what is it and how to learn it
Rule of three "Yes"
7 Ways to Make People Feel Important
12 Golden Rules for Life - life hacks for improving your life from Marty Nemko. Part 2

Key words: 1Communications, 1Time management

How to find happiness

Work on yourself

A person cannot be born with personal qualities and with a ready-made character. All these skills are developed and come to him throughout life. Therefore, with sufficient motivation, we can completely change our lives for the better.

Those qualities, most of which are inherent to us, as a rule, are our habits. After all, we could not be punctual from birth, or, for example, we got used to being late everywhere, since this became the order of things for us, just as we were not born with fear of the public or of strangers. All these qualities were acquired by us throughout life.

Beauty secrets

Most people cannot find happiness because they are very unhappy with their appearance. You need to accept and love your own body as it is, because not every person may have an ideal appearance, but you don’t have to be upset about it. It just doesn't make sense. And even more so, you shouldn’t get discouraged because of this.

Think better about how you can correct imperfections, or how to skillfully learn to disguise them with the help of clothes or some accessories. Don't deprive yourself of joy and happiness just because your figure or image is not perfect. Most likely, the shortcomings of your figure are compensated by some positive traits in your character or in your existing talents.

Don't ignore the little things

Any little things need to be treated more carefully than we are used to thinking about them, since one single small mistake, which, as a rule, is not paid any attention to, can destroy a lot.

For example, these could be our dreams, plans and plans. Big quarrels usually occur over some little things. Any little thing is always part of something larger, just like, for example, in an illness - first there are minor symptoms, and only later a serious diagnosis is made.

It's okay to make mistakes

Any person understands that it is impossible not to make a single mistake in life. This is just unreal. Therefore, forgive yourself for them in advance and do not feel pangs of conscience.

Most likely, at that moment in life, under these circumstances, everything should have happened to you exactly as it happened. This was the most important decision at that time and it had its own meaning, even if we do not fully understand it.

If you think that at that moment you could have acted differently, completely differently, know that you could not!

Be conscious here and now

Life consists of past, present and future. The secret of happiness is quite simple - you need to live only for today, leaving all your grievances and troubles, misunderstandings and conflicts in the past.

If a person realizes the importance of his life at a given moment in time, this will make him more attentive, responsible and will allow him to significantly get rid of some worries of his past life. The past is just an experience that you need to accept and forgive both yourself and others for the mistakes and mistakes you have made.

In the future, we must constantly strive for better. The past can no longer be changed, but in the present you can lay the brick of your happy future. All in your hands.

World in harmony

According to happy people, for example, Buddhists, everything in the world is in its place: the movement of the sun, the change of day and night, the arrival of spring and winter. Everything is changeable, everything changes and is in harmony according to the laws of the Universe.

Such thoughts help a person to relax, to accept something inevitable, because it is very difficult to control everything, and there is no point in it.

Observe the beautiful, think calmly and in a positive way, this will provide you with a good life. Nervousness and haste will harm your life and reduce your work efficiency. Calmness is the highest power that helps a person in all life situations.

Rule 5. Don't let your children do things that will make you love them less.

In education, Peterson suggests relying on a few simple basic principles. First of all, the fewer rules the better. It will be easier for children to navigate them, and for parents to monitor their implementation. What rules should I introduce? For example:

Do not bite, kick or fight except in self-defense;
Do not torment or bully other children;
Eat in a civilized manner so that people are happy to invite you into their home and to their table;
Learn to share so that other children can play with you;
Show attention when adults talk to you, so that they treat you well and can teach you something;
Go to bed on time and calmly, so that your parents have personal time and do not begin to regret your existence;
Take care of your things because you should know how to and because you are lucky to have them;
To be in good company, when everyone is having fun, so that you are invited again;
Act in such a way that other people are happy to be around you.

Secondly, when the established rules are violated, the least necessary force must be used. For some children, staring is enough. A verbal command will stop another. Clicking the hand will work for the third one. For many children, time-out is a very effective form of punishment, especially if the child is accepted back when he or she is able to control himself again.

Thirdly, parents must act together. They must agree on the rules and strategies of discipline and help each other, take responsibility for the child and his upbringing if the second one cannot cope.

Fourthly, parents must realize how cruel, vindictive and evil they themselves can be. No one plans to be a bad parent, but it happens all the time. No adult can tolerate a child dominating him for long. If a child throws a tantrum in a store, and his parents remain calm, this does not mean that they will not take revenge on him later - they will show less participation, less care, and remain indifferent to his achievements and discoveries. This can and often does lead to the parent turning away from the child. If a parent knows that he or she is unable to tolerate a particular behavior, then he or she should think ahead about ways to discipline so that such behavior does not repeat itself day after day.

Ways to change your life

No stops on the way to your dream

Each person has his own cherished dream and each of us knows what he wants. But always, on the way to our dream, certain circumstances arise that block and create various obstacles. Most people tend to resign themselves to this situation, give up and stop on their way.

But those people who did not despair and were not disappointed, did not give up and continued on the path to fulfill their cherished dream, always invariably achieve their goals. They are fully aware of what they are trying for and this gives them additional strength and resources. It should be remembered that initially we are all born winners.

Avoiding negative personalities

We are greatly influenced by our environment. For example, negative people are characterized by their constant whining. They can easily shift their problems onto the people around them, onto all those who are at least a little ready to communicate with them.

But it should be remembered that each person has a number of his own tasks that he needs to complete for his personal success. And if he wastes time on another and solving his problems, then he will simply waste his strength, energy and time on a stranger.

Probably everyone has noticed at least once among their acquaintances such a person, whose thoughts negatively reflected on ourselves. With such people, it is best to limit all communication altogether or completely abandon it. Usually, this is very difficult to do at first, but put yourself before choosing what is best for you? Relationships with a negative, even good person, or a happy and successful life.

You should communicate more with positively minded people, look for new acquaintances who have such qualities. They can very easily charge you with positive energy, which, as a rule, can be directed to solving your personal problems. Try to make acquaintances with people with whom you have common interests.

Learning to give love

Never change your loved ones to suit yourself and give them your love selflessly. It is very important to love not for some qualities or achievements, but just like that. A person who loves usually does not notice any shortcomings in the object of his love, and therefore the question of changing character or habits never arises.

If you suddenly begin to notice that your partner has begun to act in a way that you do not want at all, then you need to understand the actions of your significant other, figure out what exactly is happening to him, in order to understand your family life in order to avoid any more major unpleasant moments.

Towards everything new

Novelty can bring bright sensations and colors into our lives, and can overcome our growth above ourselves, since our stereotypes and various prejudices sometimes prevent us from learning everything new.

One-day, repetitive, routine tasks can lead to degradation of the human brain. It will be more and more difficult for such a person to master new skills every year. In the end, this may end in the fact that a still quite young man can turn into a decrepit seventy-year-old man who is hostile to any new action. Such people are unable to even turn on the “Start” button on the microwave oven.

New chances

If a person begins to think something like this: “What would I do if this day were my last in life, what goals and desires would I realize first?”, then the psychology of life becomes very simple. It is very important not to waste your time, but to be aware of your interests and aspirations. Since life is given to a person once, it is necessary to learn to appreciate it.

It is clear that it is very difficult to start dramatically changing your life. First of all, you need to try to learn to enjoy your work or your own family, you need to extract the maximum benefit from life experience and then begin to change everything for the better, to reach ever greater heights.

You need to change your life gradually, introducing more and more new rules into it, completely changing yourself, try to make big changes in your life, with your relationships.

Gradually, any person is able to build his own picture of the world and finally become a completely happy and successful person.

Rule 6: Get your house in perfect order before you criticize the world.

People are limited, finite and very vulnerable. Therefore, human life is filled with pain, suffering and misfortune. When meeting them, everyone at least once asked the questions: “Why is this happening to me? Why is life so unfair? Whose fault is this? When a person begins to look for the culprits of his failures, as a result, he can easily slide into all-consuming criticism.

Peterson believes that criticizing the world embitters and plunges people into an even deeper abyss. Therefore, if you want to make your life better, it's time to stop criticizing the world and take care of yourself. It’s too early for you to rule the state and remake the world if everything is not in order in your own home. Start small - check if you have put your home in order, if you have good relationships with your family members, if you have bad habits, if you are working on your career, if you have surrounded yourself with good people? Pick something that you know is making your life worse and just stop doing it. Cleanse your home and your life. Do this every day, and after a while your thoughts will begin to clear, and your daily life will become simpler and better, with less bitterness, complaining and inauthentic behavior.

How to get happiness

Take while giving

Before you can take anything, you must first learn to give. Wealth cannot be exclusively material; this also applies to the inner fullness of the soul. In order to have the opportunity to gain material wealth, you first need to learn to show generosity towards your loved ones. If you see that a person needs money more than you, then just help him.

There is an unspoken law of money: “The more you give, the more you receive in return.” As a rule, money spent for the benefit of others will return to you in increased quantities several times over. A person should learn to give first in order to receive more later.

Many businessmen have been guided by this principle for a long time. They understand well that they first need to make an investment in their business and only some time later, make a profit from it.

Everything that happened was for the better

This is one of the basic principles of human life that must be thoroughly understood. If a person is internally tuned in to changes for the better, this immediately helps him catch a wave of luck and discern new opportunities.

Even if life has handed you a sour lemon, you need to be able to extract lemonade from it. Every situation in life, as a rule, has two sides: negative and positive. And very often it is the bright side that is much more difficult to find, but this does not mean that it does not exist.

Responsibility for life

Successful people understand perfectly well that their life is the result of their own efforts and desires. They are able to cultivate a positive outlook, can set high goals and always achieve what they want.

They will never even think of blaming the world around them for some kind of injustice, and the analysis usually always begins with themselves. They take their mistakes and mistakes calmly.

A happy person will never despair in case of failure, he will continue to look for different ways to get what he wants. Or he begins to set new goals for himself. His motto in life is: “Everything will work out. Good is always on my side!”

29. Respect for yourself and the people around you

Self-esteem is undoubtedly a necessary condition for a successful and happy life. If you understand your own value, then you can learn to respect other people, show your attention to them and be completely open to the world around you.

If you treat your own personality with respect, it means recognizing your merits and characteristics, and understanding well the importance of your life. A person needs to understand that people are very similar and need to treat them the same way as you treat yourself. After all, qualities such as kindness, humanity and understanding undoubtedly contribute to good mutual understanding.

Rule 1. Straighten up and square your shoulders.

There is a simple everyday law: bad is attracted to bad, and good is attracted to good. It is enough to start achieving something, and then the opportunity to achieve something else will definitely appear. You can start with something as simple as changing your body language. Research shows that emotions are largely bodily manifestations. If we smile, we will feel happier, and vice versa. If a person is hunched over, shoulders and head lowered, looks small, defeated and humiliated, then that is how others treat him. If he straightened up and directly faces difficulties, then the attitude towards him will be completely different.

Of course, to get out of rock bottom, correcting your posture is not enough. But we are talking here not so much about the physical, but about the metaphysical side of the matter. A person is not only a body, but also a spirit. To straighten up means to consciously accept responsibility for your life.

Rule 12. Pet a cat you meet on the street

Human existence is dynamic, constantly in the process of becoming and changing. Therefore, human life is finite and limited, that is, filled with pain, suffering and death. Probably, questions come to everyone’s mind: “But isn’t this suffering too severe? Isn’t it better to give up such existence altogether?”

Peterson believes that even if such conclusions are logical and understandable, they pave a direct path to hell. The fact is that if the rejection of Being is taken to its logical end, then a person comes either to suicide (there is no need for me to exist) or to genocide (there is no need for humanity to exist). Both make life worse, because both only increase the amount of suffering in the world.

What to do if your life is filled with unbearable suffering every day? How not to fall into the abyss? According to Peterson, the more you think about your problems, the more those thoughts drag you down. Therefore, you should not allow yourself to think about them constantly: take time to think about your situation, and the rest of the time do not think about it. You will get out if you set the right goal for yourself - to see not suffering, but goodness in Existence. Learn to notice small moments of happiness: a girl dancing on the street, a good cup of coffee, a child smiling at you, a funny episode of The Simpsons, a cat that came up to you to cuddle on the street. Such moments will not allow you to sink to the bottom when chaos is raging in your life.

Summary

So, Peterson’s credo is the philosophy of maximum individual responsibility for one’s life. One of his patients once said: “I hope that all my problems are my fault. If others or the world as a whole are to blame for my problems, I have no chance of fixing anything, but if it’s me, then I can change my life.” Peterson considers this position to be very productive: take responsibility for your life into your own hands, stop complaining about the injustice of the world, start doing something, take care of yourself, set the right goals, be precise and honest, and then your life will change, and you yourself change, and the world around you will become better.

Choose to get rid of bad and harmful habits.

First, make a firm decision to permanently end the habit that is harming your health and quality of life. Just today, and not from Monday or New Year’s, choose one such habit and say: “Stop, we’ll end this.”

If you don’t know how, ask your friends and acquaintances for advice. Forget about the others for a while, choose one for now, and go ahead. Quit smoking, finally pay off your debts, start eating right and moving more to lose weight.

The choice is yours. The main thing is determination and perseverance.