Transition and crisis in adolescents - advice from a psychologist

“Prickly,” touchy, vulnerable, impudent – ​​it’s all about them, about teenagers. About those who have entered a difficult transitional age. About those who are on the path from childhood to adulthood. About those who find it difficult to understand and accept everything that happens to them.

This article is dedicated to teenagers. In it you will learn what adolescence is, what dangers await children and parents at this stage of growing up, and what mothers and fathers need to do to help their child survive this difficult time.

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Adolescence concept

I would like to make a reservation right away that the material in the article is presented from the perspective of old options for defining adolescence, and not new proposals to extend it to 24 years of age (by the way, this has not yet been approved in any case).

Let me explain why. In my opinion, psychophysiological changes are primary, and these norms have long been established. Another question is that not all people go through the stages of “switching” from one age to another in a timely manner. In this connection, we should not talk about shifting boundaries in age classification, but about infantilism and anomalies of the modern generation.

• Representatives of the new theory operate with the idea that modern youth finish their studies late, but let me remind you that you can enter a university at any age.
• Another argument is late marriages. But I think that this is a sign of a change in mentality, stereotypes, gender identification and, finally, the influence of state conditions that dictate the need for long and complex self-realization before creating a new cell and new lives. The point is not a lack of readiness to perform the reproductive function, but a conscious decision made by a mature person.

That is, I believe that modern scientists propose changing attitudes towards the situation and re-interpreting it as normal, rather than solving the problems observed in society.

But enough of the lyrics. Let's talk about what adolescence is in the established theory of psychology, which still remains leading.

Literally, this period is interpreted as “turning into an adult.” Adolescence is usually called the stage of life between 10 and 17 years. In this case, the following are distinguished:

• early adolescence (10-14);
• older adolescence (15-17).

However, sometimes older age is classified as early adolescence. The World Health Organization generally considers adolescence to be a period from 10 to 20 years. Thus, on average, adolescence lasts from 10 to 15 years.

Psychology of Personality

Adolescents during puberty are characterized by certain personality traits. Taking these features into account is important for the prevention of mental disorders and proper education. It should be borne in mind that the severity of certain personality traits varies depending on a person’s gender, age and individual qualities.

Basic personality traits

1. Inadequate self-esteem. The desire for self-expression, ostentatious adulthood, recognition of one’s own authority and intellectual development contribute to the formation of a teenager’s view of his own position in society. People at this age are characterized by reduced or inadequately high self-esteem. At an older age, this problem usually disappears, but it is possible to form complexes that constantly affect self-esteem.
2. Impulsive behavior. Pragmatism is not a popular outlook among teenagers due to lack of personal experience and emotional instability.
3. Lack of experience, “hot mind,” lack of independence and desire to learn new things are the factors that determine a teenager’s gullibility and naivety.
4. Emotional lability is an unstable mental state that is typical for many adolescents. This personality trait is manifested by constant mood swings, irritability and aggressiveness. The child's mood during the day may alternate with periods of tearfulness and emotional agitation.
5. Undeveloped emotional-volitional control. This feature can also be associated with emotional instability and suggestibility. Inhibitory processes associated with the functions of the cerebral cortex are still developing during puberty, so young people have difficulty controlling their own impulses. An adult can almost always stop in time due to the instinct of self-preservation or life experience, but such a psychological mechanism may simply not be available to children.

All of these features distinguish a teenager from an adult. Psychologists call the preservation of such personality traits in adults infantilism.

Summary

The leading need of age is the desire for deliberate maturity and self-affirmation.

Social situation of development – ​​teenager-peer.

The leading activity of age is intimate and personal communication with peers.

Due to the surge of hormones, the following occurs:

• increased fatigue,
• absent-mindedness,
• lethargy,
• touchiness.

The main neoplasms of adolescence include:

• formation of self-concept, self-awareness, reflection;
• identification;
• awareness of individuality.

In total, two phases can be distinguished in adolescence: negative and positive. The transition from the first to the second is considered the beginning of productive activity.

Specifics of adolescence

The transitional stage is full of contradictions, but it is they that ensure the development and formation of personality. The main contradiction with which this period begins is the discrepancy between existing tools (knowledge, experience, skills, motives) and new social situations, types of interaction with the world.

During adolescence, rapid development of all aspects of personality occurs:

• biological (puberty and physical growth);
• psychophysiological (self-awareness, self-esteem, identification);
• cognitive (thinking);
• social (relationships, behavior, worldview).

It is worth noting that each of the areas of development is closely interconnected with the other. When their development is uneven or multidirectional, personality contradictions arise.

Mental symptoms make themselves known earlier than others. Teenagers are no longer interested in children's games, but the hobbies of older teenagers are still unclear. They do not yet have new ideals and full-fledged self-awareness, but they no longer want, like children, to blindly obey someone’s authority.

Natural negative manifestations of age include:

• pessimistic attitude;
• increased sensitivity and irritability;
• physical and mental illness (whims and fights);
• dreaminess and uncertainty;
• ambition;
• nervousness;
• dissatisfaction with oneself.

The main risk of adolescence is deviation (addiction, suicide, crime, etc.). You can read more about teenage deviations in the article “Deviant Behavior of Children and Adolescents: Causes, Prevention and Correction.”

It is worth noting that the manifestations of adolescence not only differ by gender, but also depend on a number of other factors. For example, region, place (city, village), climate, time, country, and so on. Therefore, the presented behavior options and states of adolescents should be considered as a basis, but not as an obligatory truth and the only possible option for personal development.

Physiological reasons

Puberty is the age when the body grows most actively. Development proceeds in fits and starts, unevenly. Over the course of a year, a child can grow by 7-10 centimeters and increase body weight by 5-9 kilograms. The skeleton becomes stronger, the muscles improve. The heart muscle grows rapidly in length and width, blood pressure and the rhythm of the heart change.

Along with the intensive growth of the body, the shape of the body also changes. Gender characteristics develop, hormonal levels change, the endocrine system is rebuilt, and the endocrine glands are activated. Moreover, puberty in girls begins 1-2 years earlier and ends by 15-16 years. At the age of 10-12 years, they outstrip boys in height. However, by the age of 15-16, boys are already significantly taller than girls and continue to grow until they are 18-20 years old.

It is very difficult for the nervous system to adapt to changes, since it simply does not have time to adapt to active growth. Therefore, the psyche is often in a state of excessive excitement or, conversely, tries to slow down the processes and goes into pronounced inhibition.

Due to all the physiological changes, temporary disorders develop in the child’s body:

• jumps in blood pressure – hypertension is often observed, but hypotension is also a normal option;
• dizziness, headaches;
• poor concentration, distracted attention;
• rapid heartbeat (tachycardia), a feeling of tightness in the heart area;
• dyspnea;
• fainting conditions;
• fast fatiguability;
• increased excitability, sleep disorders.

Physiological processes directly affect the health and behavior of a teenager. In order for the body to be fully formed and the growth spurt to be successful, it is necessary to provide high-quality support for the processes: proper nutrition, saturation of the diet with vitamins and microelements, adequate physical activity.

It is important to consider that there are significant individual differences in physical development and puberty. The age at which active changes begin in a child’s body may deviate from group norms, and this should not cause concern.

Age-specific reactions

Adolescence is characterized by four reactions:

• emancipation;
• grouping with peers;
• interest in the opposite sex;
• numerous hobbies.

Let's look at each of them in more detail.

Emancipation reaction

This is the desire to act independently. It permeates the entire life of a teenager, that is, this reaction can be observed every day. Highlight:

• emotional (care to communicate with peers);
• behavioral (escape from parental control);
• normative emancipation (denial of habitual values, search for new ones).

Grouping with peers

The peer group is the regulator of a teenager’s behavior. He seeks self-affirmation in her.

Interest in the opposite sex

Relationships with the opposite sex are twofold: on the one hand, interest, and on the other, feigned indifference.

Hobbies

There are several groups of teenage hobbies:

• intellectual-aesthetic (deep passion for something);
• bodily-manual (the purpose of the classes is strength and endurance);
• leadership;
• egocentric (independent activities);
• gambling (betting);
• information and communication (TV, Internet, telephone).

Sexual development

It goes in two directions:

• awareness of one's own bodily sexuality;
• searching for a soul mate and love, romanticizing relationships.

S. Buller noted that there is also mental puberty. It can arise long before physical maturation and end after it. In simple terms, this is the desire to be with someone, to complement each other, which, according to the author’s theory, is characteristic of all people. Thus, we can say that this is precisely the direction of romanticism, relationships without sexual overtones: conversations, spending time together.

Gender identification is one of the new developments of age. That is, the formation of sexual orientation and self-perception of a teenager by gender occurs. Gender identification can be biological or psychological. Their discrepancy is fraught with intrapersonal conflict and sexual behavior disorders.

Scientists have noted that the formation of gender identification is more influenced by sociocultural factors than biological ones. That is, the decisive role is played by the patterns and stereotypes cultivated in society, as well as by the conditions of the teenager’s environment.

Physical development

Teenagers grow an average of 9 centimeters per year. There is rapid growth of the heart muscle (length, width, volume). Blood pressure (usually increased) and heart rate change. All body systems are rapidly changing.

Modern teenagers are characterized by a general weakening. Despite the apparent acceleration, in comparison with teenagers of past decades, modern girls and boys, according to the results of a study by L.V. Mishchenko, are underweight in more than 80% of cases. The overall strength also decreased.

Prevention

Preventing the development of mental disorders in adolescents is an important goal. Prevention should begin with the appearance of the first unfavorable behavioral and personality traits in a child.

Some methods:

• consultation with a psychotherapist at least once a year;
• adherence to sleep and wakefulness;
• solving problems of conflict behavior at school;
• teaching the child positive traits, such as the ability to be responsible for one’s own actions.

To obtain information about other prevention rules, it is recommended to make an appointment with a psychologist.

Personal development

Teenagers are characterized by a sense of adulthood. Their adulthood may have the following character:

• imitative (the simplest, but dubious way: imitation of appearance);
• exemplary (the desire to be like a “real woman”, “real man”);
• social (cooperation with adults, participation in the life of the family, society);
• intellectual (self-education, additional search for scientific information).

During adolescence, old value orientations are broken down and new guidelines are sought or created.

Self-awareness is formed through egocentrism, which is overcome through knowledge of peers (communication). Initially, egocentrism manifests itself in two ways:

• feeling like an actor and perceiving the world as a stage;
• belief in the uniqueness of one's emotions.

Communication with peers and love

Communication with peers is the leading activity of adolescence. Parents need to accept that the former trust with their child will disappear. However, it can be earned again if you change your interaction tactics and recognize your child as an equal partner.

But communication with peers still comes to the fore. It performs a number of important functions:

• transfer of experience of growing up, discussion (especially relevant for the sexual sphere);
• gender identification (learning roles, stereotypes, preferences, identifying orientation);
• psychotherapeutic function (the teenager releases his emotional experiences);
• emancipation from parents.

Falling in love is very important for teenagers. Love has 3 components:

• Platonic,
• erotic,
• sexual component.

Only the combination of all three ensures harmony in relationships. This does not happen yet in adolescence. Boys, as a rule, have a predominant erotic character, while girls have a platonic character. Nevertheless, through relationships, a teenager prepares for the future role of husband (wife), father (mother).

Age goals

During adolescence, for successful socialization in the future, a teenager needs to successfully solve a number of problems. In which the support and help of parents will be invaluable. However, it is important to remember that we can only talk about cooperation. So, what are these age tasks?

1. Accepting your appearance.
2. Successful gender identification (assimilation of male and female roles accepted in society).
3. Changing the style and forms of communication with peers.
4. Establishing a new style of relationship with parents (equal cooperation).
5. Development of professional interests and abilities for further professional guidance in youth.
6. Acceptance and adoption of mature behavior that assumes responsibility and initiative.

If all of these points regarding a teenager at the end of the age period can be answered in the affirmative, then it means that his transitional age has been successful.

What actually happens to teenagers - determining the inner age of your child

Oksana Tumadin, expert psychologist, author of a unique method for unlocking personal potential and uniqueness:

To better understand what happens to teenagers, let's look at the internal ages. G. Gurdjieff formulated more than 100 years ago the seven internal levels of man. Many parents will understand their children, help them go through adolescence without stress for both parties and move into a conscious adult world without losing their childish spontaneity. It is this childlike spontaneity in life that gives success, good luck, joy of life, joy from one’s achievements.

Baby

“Baby” is a person who does not want to take responsibility and lives only to satisfy his needs. You've probably all seen older people who demand extra attention to themselves, turning the lives of those around them into hell. This is exactly the level of a baby, which means that a person, having gone through his entire life, has not matured.

Child

The “child” already lives for the family, but lives according to schemes, recommendations, rules - for him everything should be clear and put in order. It is the “Child” who takes care of the adult “Babies”, based on the rules laid down in generations.

Teenager

The “teenager” wants to reach new heights, stand out from the crowd, and experience life. The teenager tries to develop his greatest strengths and abilities. But often he still lacks awareness of ethics and the rules of human communication and relationships, because of this, the ways to achieve his goals are sometimes not environmentally friendly.

Teenagers do not respect authorities. In relationships they can show their superiority. Often adults remain “Teenagers” - this is expressed in the forced submission of others to their rules.

young man

Next comes the “Youth” level. A person begins to think about the meaning of life, often moves away from material dependence in order to learn other values. If the previous levels have been correctly assimilated, then the boy (girl) is aware in all areas of life, understands everything they need to do, where to go and why.

If the previous levels are not completed, then teenagers become lazy and stop doing ordinary tasks in relation to family, work, and school.

Adult

The “adult” connects all the previous levels and knows how to manage them. He is responsible for his life, for his family, relationships, work. Can guide teenagers and young men to go in the right direction.

There is still selfishness in “Adult”, and sometimes it condemns everyone who is irresponsible or does not understand basic things in relation to life.

Disadaptation

Disadaptation, that is, problems with accepting a new social situation and entering into it, is a normative phenomenon of adolescence. This arises against the background of uneven development of personality spheres. Disadaptation manifests itself:

• criticism of oneself and others;
• hypersensitivity;
• vulnerability;
• aggressiveness;
• instability of desires and moods;
• intrapersonal conflicts (the most popular is “Who am I?”).

A teenager strives to know himself, which results in a craving for peers (clubs of interests, subcultures, multiple acquaintances). That is, a teenager receives information about himself by looking at his peers.

All teenagers are explorers. They study the world, themselves, and other people. Sometimes introspection takes an extreme option and turns into self-examination and self-flagellation.

• It was experimentally revealed that adolescents who are anxious, insecure, uncommunicative, withdrawn, overly controlling themselves and feeling guilty have problems with adaptation.
• An average level of adaptation was noted in unstable adolescents with an average level of self-control, prone to dominance and aggression.
• Successful adaptation is characterized by confident, sociable, non-anxious adolescents with adequate self-esteem and level of self-control.

Sometimes normative maladjustment drags on, and then, as a rule, we are talking about deviant behavior.

Teenage crisis

Teenage crisis is a relative concept:

• some researchers believe that this is the entire period of adolescence;
• someone takes the first year to do this;
• and some believe that this is an individual phenomenon that can arise at any time during adolescence or not occur at all.

For example, psychologist L. S. Vygotsky at the stage of adolescence (adolescence) identified two crises - 13 years and 17 years. The first crisis marks the transition from childhood to adolescence, the second - from adolescence to youth.

Simply put, the crisis of adolescence is the peak of emotional activity, hormonal release, and personal development. The extreme version of the crisis is deviation.

Thus, an adolescent crisis is a manifestation of an intrapersonal conflict formed under the influence of external factors (parenting style) and internal factors (the discrepancy between the needs of a teenager and the possibilities for satisfying them).

If parents act pedagogically competently, then deviations, affective outbursts and conflicts can be avoided. It is true that it is important not to confuse the smooth course of adolescence with a specific crisis. Some children, on the contrary, become excessively withdrawn into themselves, which can lead to depression and suicide.

If we talk about the primary crisis of the beginning of adolescence (the transition from childhood to adolescence), then it is characterized by two main features:

• decreased performance, school performance (due to an ongoing change in the type of thinking);
• negativism (negative behavioral reactions caused by the desire for emancipation).

• 9.1. Social development situation
• 9.2. Physiological changes
• 9.3. Psychological changes
• 9.4. Adolescence crisis
• 9.5. Leading activities in adolescence
• 9.6. Neoplasms of adolescence

Topic 9. ADOLESCENCE (FROM 10–11 TO 14–15 YEARS OLD)

9.1. Social development situation

The social situation of human development at this age represents the transition from childhood to independent and responsible adult life. In other words, adolescence occupies an intermediate position between childhood and adulthood. Changes occur at the physiological level, relationships with adults and peers are built differently, the level of cognitive interests, intelligence and abilities undergo changes. Spiritual and physical life moves from home to the outside world, relationships with peers are built on a more serious level. Teenagers engage in joint activities, discuss vital topics, and games become a thing of the past.

At the beginning of adolescence, a desire to be like older people appears; in psychology it is called a feeling of adulthood.

Children want to be treated like adults. Their desire, on the one hand, is justified, because in some ways their parents really begin to treat them differently and allow them to do things that were not previously allowed. For example, now teenagers can watch feature films, access to which was previously prohibited, take longer walks, parents begin to listen to the child when solving everyday problems, etc. But, on the other hand, a teenager does not meet the requirements for an adult in everything; has not yet developed such qualities as independence, responsibility, and a serious attitude towards one’s responsibilities. Therefore, it is not yet possible to treat him the way he wants.

Another very important point is that, although the teenager continues to live in the family, study at the same school and is surrounded by the same peers, shifts occur in the scale of his values ​​and the emphasis associated with family, school, and peers is placed differently. The reason for this is reflection,

which began to develop towards the end of primary school age, and in adolescence it develops more actively. All teenagers strive to acquire qualities characteristic of an adult. This entails external and internal restructuring. It begins with imitation of one’s “idols.” From the age of 12–13, children begin to copy the behavior and appearance of significant adults or older peers (vocabulary, way of relaxing, hobbies, jewelry, hairstyles, cosmetics, etc.).

For boys, the objects of imitation are people who behave like “real men”: they have willpower, endurance, courage, courage, endurance, and are faithful to friendship. Therefore, boys at the age of 12–13 begin to pay more attention to their physical characteristics: they enroll in sports clubs, develop strength and endurance.

Girls strive to imitate those who look like a “real woman”: attractive, charming, popular with others. They begin to pay more attention to clothes, cosmetics, master coquetry techniques, etc.

The current development situation is characterized by the fact that advertising has a great influence on the formation of the needs of adolescents. At this age, the emphasis is on the presence of certain things: thus, a teenager, receiving an advertised item for personal use, acquires value both in his own eyes and in the eyes of his peers. It is almost vital for a teenager to own a certain set of things in order to gain a certain significance in his own eyes and in the eyes of his peers. From this we can conclude that advertising, television, and the media to some extent shape the needs of adolescents.

9.2. Physiological changes

During adolescence, physiological changes occur that lead to changes in children's behavior.

The period of activity of the dominant center of the cortex is reduced

brain.
As a result, attention becomes short-lived and unstable.
The ability to differentiate deteriorates.

This leads to a deterioration in understanding the material presented and assimilation of information. Therefore, during classes it is necessary to give more vivid, understandable examples, use demonstrative material, and so on. As communication progresses, the teacher should constantly check whether the students understood him correctly: ask questions, use questionnaires and games if necessary.

Latent increases (secret g

th) period of reflex reactions.
The reaction slows down, the teenager does not immediately answer the question asked, and does not immediately begin to fulfill the teacher’s requirements.
In order not to aggravate the situation, children should not be rushed; they should be given time to think and not insulted. Subcortical g

e processes
go
beyond the control of the cerebral cortex.
Teenagers are not able to control the manifestations of both positive and negative emotions.
Knowing this feature of adolescence, the teacher needs to be more tolerant, treat the manifestation of emotions with understanding, try not to “get infected” with negative emotions, and in conflict situations, switch attention to something else. It is advisable to familiarize children with self-regulation techniques and practice these techniques with them. The activity of the second signaling system is weakened.

Speech becomes short, stereotypical, slow. Teenagers may have difficulty understanding auditory (verbal) information. You should not rush them, you can suggest the necessary words, use illustrations when telling the story, i.e. visually reinforce the information, write down key words, draw. When telling something or providing information, it is advisable to speak emotionally, supporting your speech with vivid examples.

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During adolescence, sexual development begins.

Boys and girls begin to treat each other differently than before - as representatives of the other sex. For a teenager, it becomes very important how others treat him; he begins to pay great attention to his appearance. Self-identification occurs with representatives of the same gender (for more details on this, see 9.6).

Adolescence is usually characterized as a turning point, transitional, critical, but more often - as the age of puberty.

9.3. Psychological changes

Changes at the psychological level during adolescence manifest themselves as follows.

All cognitive processes and creative activity reach a high level of development. occurs .

Logical memory begins to actively develop. Gradually, the child moves on to using logical, voluntary and indirect memory. The development of mechanical memory slows down. And since at school, with the advent of new academic subjects, a lot of information has to be memorized, including mechanically, children have memory problems. Complaints about poor memory at this age are common.

The relationship between memory and thinking changes

Thinking is determined by memory. To think means to remember. For a teenager, remembering means thinking. In order to remember material, he needs to establish a logical connection between its parts.

occur in reading, monologue and writing.

Reading gradually moves from fluent, correct reading to the ability to recite, monologue speech - from the ability to retell a text to the ability to independently prepare oral presentations, writing - from presentation to composition. Speech becomes rich.

Thinking

becomes theoretical, conceptual due to the fact that the teenager begins to assimilate concepts, improve the ability to use them, and reason logically and abstractly. General and special abilities are formed, including those necessary for the future profession.

The emergence of sensitivity to the opinions of others regarding appearance, knowledge, and abilities is associated with the development of self-awareness at this age.

Teenagers become more touchy. They want to look their best and make a good impression. For them, it is better to remain silent than to speak and make a mistake. Knowing this feature of this age, adults need to avoid direct assessments and speak with teenagers using the “I-statement,” i.e., a statement about oneself and one’s feelings. Teenagers should be accepted as they are (unconditional acceptance), given the opportunity to speak out to the end when necessary. It is important to support their initiative, even if it does not seem entirely relevant and necessary.

The behavior of adolescents is characterized by demonstrativeness, external rebellion, and a desire to free themselves from the care and control of adults.

They can demonstratively violate the rules of behavior, discuss the words or behavior of people in an inappropriate way, and defend their point of view, even if they are not entirely sure of its correctness.

There is a need for confidential communication.

Teenagers want to be heard and need their opinions to be respected. They are very worried when they are interrupted without listening to them. Adults should talk to them as equals, but avoid familiarity.

Teenagers have a great need for communication and friendship,

they are afraid of being rejected. They often avoid communication for fear of not being liked. Therefore, many children at this age have problems establishing contacts both with peers and with older people. To make this process less painful, we need to support and encourage them, and develop adequate self-esteem among those who are unsure of themselves.

Teenagers strive to be accepted by their peers

possessing, in their opinion, more significant qualities. To achieve this, they sometimes embellish their “exploits”, and this can apply to both positive and negative actions; there is a desire for outrageousness. Teenagers may not express their point of view if it differs from the opinion of the group and are sensitive to the loss of authority in the group.

There is a tendency to take risks.

Since teenagers are highly emotional, they think they can cope with any problem. But in reality this is not always the case, because they still do not know how to adequately assess their strengths and do not think about their own safety.

At this age, susceptibility to influence from peers increases.

If a child has low self-esteem, then he does not want to turn out to be a “black sheep”; this may be expressed in fear of expressing one's opinion. Some teenagers, who do not have their own opinions and do not have the skills to make independent decisions, find themselves “led” and commit some actions, often illegal, “for company” with others who are stronger psychologically and physically.

Adolescents have low resistance to stress.

They may act rashly and behave inappropriately.

Despite the fact that teenagers actively solve various problems related to study and other matters and encourage adults to discuss problems, they show infantilism

when solving problems related to the choice of a future profession, ethical behavior, and a responsible attitude towards one’s responsibilities. Adults need to learn to treat teenagers differently, try to communicate with them on equal terms, as with adults, but remember that they are still children who need help and support.

9.4. Adolescence crisis

The teenage crisis occurs between the ages of 12 and 14. It is longer in duration than all other crisis periods. L.I. Bozovic believes that this is due to the faster pace of physical and mental development of adolescents, leading to the formation of needs that cannot be satisfied due to the insufficient social maturity of schoolchildren.

The teenage crisis is characterized by the fact that at this age the relationships of adolescents with others change. They begin to make increased demands on themselves and on adults and protest against being treated like little ones.

At this stage, the behavior of children changes radically: many of them become rude, uncontrollable, do everything in defiance of their elders, do not obey them, ignore comments (teenage negativism) or, conversely, may withdraw into themselves.

If adults are sympathetic to the needs of the child and, at the first negative manifestations, rebuild their relationships with children, then the transition period is not so stormy and painful for both parties. Otherwise, the teenage crisis proceeds very violently. It is influenced by external and internal factors.

To external factors

This may include ongoing adult control, dependence and guardianship that seem excessive to the teenager. He strives to free himself from them, considering himself old enough to make his own decisions and act as he sees fit. The teenager is in a rather difficult situation: on the one hand, he has really become more mature, but, on the other hand, his psychology and behavior retain childish traits - he does not take his responsibilities seriously enough, and cannot act responsibly and independently. All this leads to the fact that adults cannot perceive him as an equal.

However, an adult needs to change his attitude towards a teenager, otherwise resistance may arise on his part, which over time will lead to misunderstanding between the adult and the teenager and interpersonal conflict, and then to a delay in personal development. A teenager may develop a feeling of uselessness, apathy, alienation, and become convinced that adults cannot understand and help him. As a result, at the moment when the teenager really needs the support and help of his elders, he will be emotionally rejected from the adult, and the latter will lose the opportunity to influence the child and help him.

To avoid such problems, you should build a relationship with a teenager on the basis of trust, respect, and in a friendly manner. The creation of such relationships is facilitated by involving the teenager in some serious work.

Internal factors

reflect the personal development of a teenager. Habits and character traits change that prevent him from carrying out his plans: internal prohibitions are violated, the habit of obeying adults is lost, etc. A desire for personal self-improvement appears, which occurs through the development of self-knowledge (reflection), self-expression, and self-affirmation. The teenager is critical of his shortcomings, both physical and personal (character traits), and worries about those character traits that prevent him from establishing friendly contacts and relationships with people. Negative statements addressed to him can lead to affective outbursts and conflicts.

At this age, the body undergoes increased growth, which entails behavioral changes and emotional outbursts: the teenager begins to get very nervous, blame himself for failure, which leads to internal tension that is difficult for him to cope with.

Behavioral changes

are manifested in the desire to “experience everything, go through everything”, and there is a tendency to take risks. A teenager is attracted to everything that was previously prohibited. Out of “curiosity,” many try alcohol, drugs, and start smoking. If this is done not out of curiosity, but out of courage, psychological dependence on drugs may occur, although sometimes curiosity leads to persistent addiction.

At this age, spiritual growth occurs and mental status changes. Reflection, which extends to the surrounding world and oneself, leads to internal contradictions, which are based on the loss of identity with oneself, the discrepancy between previous ideas about oneself and the current image. These contradictions can lead to obsessive states: doubts, fears, depressing thoughts about oneself.

The manifestation of negativism can be expressed in some adolescents in meaningless opposition to others, unmotivated contradiction (most often with adults) and other protest reactions. Adults (teachers, parents, relatives) need to rebuild relationships with the teenager, try to understand his problems and make the transition period less painful.

9.5. Leading activities in adolescence

The leading activity in adolescence is communication with peers.

By communicating, teenagers master norms of social behavior, morality, and establish relationships of equality and respect for each other.

At this age, two systems of relationships develop: one with adults, the other with peers. Relationships with adults turn out to be unequal. Relationships with peers are built as equal partners and are governed by norms of equality. The teenager begins to spend more time with peers, as this communication brings him more benefit, his current needs and interests are satisfied. Teenagers unite into groups that become more stable; certain rules apply in these groups. Teenagers in such groups are attracted by the similarity of interests and problems, the opportunity to talk and discuss them and be understood.

In adolescence, two types of relationships appear: at the beginning of this period - friendly, at the end - friendly. In older adolescence, three types of relationships appear: external - episodic “business” contacts that serve to momentarily satisfy interests and needs; friendly, promoting the mutual exchange of knowledge, skills and abilities; friendly, allowing you to resolve issues of an emotional and personal nature.

In the second half of adolescence, communication with peers turns into an independent activity. A teenager cannot sit at home, he is eager to be with friends, wants to live a group life. Problems that arise in relationships with peers are very difficult to experience. To attract the attention of peers, a teenager can do anything, even violate social norms or open conflict with adults.

Companionship

are based on the “code of partnership,” which includes respect for the personal dignity of another person, equality, fidelity, honesty, decency, and willingness to help. At this age, such qualities as selfishness, greed, breaking a given word, betrayal of a friend, arrogance, and unwillingness to take into account the opinions of others are condemned. Such behavior in a group of teenage peers is not only not welcomed, but also rejected. A teenager who demonstrates such qualities may be declared a boycott, denied admission to the company, or denied joint participation in any business.

A leader must appear in a teenage group

and leadership relationships are established. Teenagers try to attract the attention of the leader and value their friendship with him. The teenager is also interested in friends, for whom he can be a leader or act as an equal partner.

An important factor in friendly rapprochement

is the similarity of interests and affairs. A teenager who values ​​​​his friendship with a friend may show interest in the activity in which he is engaged, as a result of which new cognitive interests arise. Friendship activates communication among teenagers; they have the opportunity to discuss events happening at school, personal relationships, and the actions of peers and adults.

Towards the end of adolescence, the need for a close friend is very great. A teenager dreams of having a person in his life who knows how to keep secrets, who is responsive, sensitive, and understanding. Mastery of moral standards

- This is the most important personal acquisition of adolescence.

Educational activities,

although it remains predominant, it recedes into the background. Grades cease to be the only value; what matters is what place a teenager occupies in the class. All the most interesting, super-urgent, urgent things happen and are discussed during breaks.

Teenagers strive to participate in a variety of activities: sports, art, socially useful, etc. In this way, they try to take a certain place among people, show their importance, adulthood, feel like a member of society, and realize the need for acceptance and independence.

9.6. Neoplasms of adolescence

New developments of this age are: a sense of adulthood; development of self-awareness, formation of an ideal personality; tendency to reflect; interest in the opposite sex, puberty; increased excitability, frequent mood swings; special development of volitional qualities; the need for self-affirmation and self-improvement, in activities that have personal meaning; self-determination.

Feeling of adulthood -

the teenager's attitude towards himself as an adult. The teenager wants adults to treat him not as a child, but as an adult (for more details on this, see 10.1).

Development of self-awareness, formation of an ideal personality

aimed at making a person aware of his personal characteristics. This is determined by the teenager’s special, critical attitude towards his shortcomings. The desired self-image usually consists of the valued qualities and virtues of other people. But since his role models are both adults and peers, the image turns out to be contradictory. It turns out that this image requires a combination of the character traits of an adult and a young person, and this is not always compatible in one person. Perhaps this is the reason for the teenager’s inconsistency with his ideal, which is a reason for worry.

Tendency to reflect (self-knowledge).

A teenager’s desire to know himself often leads to a loss of mental balance. The main form of self-knowledge is comparing oneself with other people, adults and peers, a critical attitude towards oneself, as a result of which a psychological crisis develops. A teenager has to go through mental anguish, during which his self-esteem is formed and his place in society is determined. His behavior is regulated by self-esteem formed during communication with others. When developing self-esteem, much attention is paid to internal criteria. As a rule, it is contradictory in younger adolescents, so their behavior is characterized by unmotivated actions.

Interest in the opposite sex, puberty.

During adolescence, relationships between boys and girls change.
Now they show interest in each other as representatives of the opposite sex. Therefore, teenagers begin to pay great attention to their appearance: clothes, hairstyle, figure, demeanor, etc. At first, interest in the opposite sex manifests itself in an unusual way: boys begin to bully girls, who, in turn, complain about boys, fight with them, call them names, speak unflatteringly about them. This behavior brings pleasure to both. Over time, the relationship between them changes: .
Girls, earlier than boys, begin to worry about the question: “Who likes who?” This is due to the faster physiological development of girls. In late adolescence, romantic relationships arise between boys and girls. They write notes and letters to each other, make dates, walk the streets together, go to the movies. As a result, they have a need to become better, they begin to engage in self-improvement and self-education.

Further physiological development leads to the fact that sexual attraction may arise between boys and girls, characterized by a certain undifferentiation (promiscuity) and increased excitability. This often leads to an internal conflict between the teenager’s desire to master new forms of behavior, in particular physical contact, and prohibitions on such relationships, both external - from parents, and internal - from their own taboos. However, sexual relationships are of great interest to teenagers. And the weaker the internal “brakes” and the less developed the sense of responsibility for oneself and others, the sooner the readiness for sexual contacts with representatives of both one’s own and the opposite sex arises.

A high degree of tension before and after sexual intercourse is the strongest test for a teenager’s psyche. First sexual contacts can have a great impact on the entire subsequent intimate life of an adult, so it is very important that they are colored with positive memories and are positive.

Increased excitability, frequent mood swings.

Physiological changes, a sense of adulthood, changes in relationships with adults, the desire to escape from their care, reflection - all this leads to the fact that the emotional state of a teenager becomes unstable. This is expressed in frequent changes in mood, increased excitability, “explosiveness,” tearfulness, aggressiveness, negativity or, conversely, apathy, indifference, and indifference.

Development of strong-willed qualities.

During adolescence, children begin to intensively engage in self-education. This is especially typical for boys - the ideal of masculinity becomes one of the main ones for them. At the age of 11–12 years, boys love to watch adventure films or read related books. They try to imitate heroes who have masculinity, courage, and willpower. In older adolescence, the main focus is on self-development of the necessary volitional qualities. Boys devote a lot of time to sports activities associated with great physical exertion and risk, those that require extraordinary willpower and courage.

There is some consistency in the formation of volitional qualities. First, the basic dynamic physical qualities develop: strength, speed and reaction speed, then the qualities associated with the ability to withstand large and long-term loads: endurance, endurance, patience and perseverance. And only then more complex and subtle volitional qualities are formed: concentration, concentration, efficiency. At first, at the age of 10–11 years, a teenager simply admires the presence of these qualities in others; at 11–12 years old, he declares a desire to possess such qualities and at 12–13 years old he begins to self-train his will. The most active age for developing volitional qualities is the period from 13 to 14 years.

The need for self-affirmation and self-improvement in activities that have personal meaning. Self-determination.

Adolescence is also significant because it is at this age that skills, abilities, and business qualities are developed, and the choice of a future profession occurs. At this age, children show an increased interest in various activities, a desire to do something with their own hands, increased curiosity, and the first dreams of a future profession appear. Primary professional interests arise in study and work, which creates favorable conditions for the formation of the necessary business qualities.

Children at this age experience increased cognitive and creative activity.

They strive to learn something new, to learn something and try to do it well, they begin to improve their knowledge, skills and abilities. Similar processes also take place outside of school, with teenagers acting both independently (they design, build, draw, etc.) and with the help of adults or older friends. The need to do things “like adults” stimulates teenagers to self-education, self-improvement, and self-service. A job done well receives the approval of others, which leads to self-affirmation among adolescents.

Adolescents have a differentiated attitude towards learning.

This is due to their level of intellectual development, fairly broad outlook, volume and strength of knowledge, professional inclinations and interests. Therefore, selectivity arises in relation to school subjects: some become loved and needed, while interest in others decreases. The attitude towards the subject is also influenced by the personality of the teacher.

New teaching motives appear,

associated with expanding knowledge, developing the necessary skills and abilities that allow you to engage in interesting work and independent creative work.

​​is formed .

In the future, they determine the content of the teenager’s activities, the scope of his communication, the selectivity of his attitude towards people, the assessment of these people and self-esteem. Older teenagers begin the process of professional self-determination.

In adolescence, organizational skills, efficiency, enterprise, the ability to establish business contacts, negotiate joint ventures, distribute responsibilities, etc. begin to develop. These qualities can develop in any field of activity in which a teenager is involved: in learning, work, play.

By the end of adolescence, the process of self-determination is practically completed, and some skills necessary for further professional development are formed.

Table of contents

Parents and teenagers: recommendations

1. Despite the desire of adolescents to move away from their families, it is important to provide them with support. Teenagers need support and unobtrusive advice from an adult in difficult times. However, it is important for parents to exclude edification, suspicion and strict control.
2. The child’s ability to love depends on the relationship between parents and children that developed before adolescence. And first love is an important feeling for a person. Loving relationships are necessary. This is the only way a teenager can get to know himself and the opposite sex in order to build a family in the future.
3. When interacting with a teenager, it is important to remember that no relationship is perfect. There are “good enough” people, as they say in psychology. That is, you need to learn to empathize with your child, recognize his individuality and personality.
4. Adolescents occupy a marginal, that is, borderline position, and the same happens with adults. When communicating with a teenager (half-child, half-adult), you need to act as both a parent and an equal partner.
5. You should not try to evoke respect for you using a sense of duty (“we feed you, raise you, water you”) or age (“I’m older”). So you will only meet protest. The child himself must come to respect you, based on parental support. You need to accept the child and not focus on his shortcomings. Understand, don't judge.
6. If a teenager talks about something, it means it is important to him. Phrases from parents like “Don’t go crazy. Is this really a problem? Here I have...”, “Stop suffering with nonsense” and the like. Listen to the child and help solve the problem. If you are convinced that his problem is a trifle, then you can help him get rid of it quickly. Teach your teenager (with facts and arguments, actions) to also consider this a trifle.

It’s easy to remember the new principle of interaction:

• not orders, but requests;
• not notations, but wishes;
• not control, but a request to inform, and so on.

There is no optimal or uniform style. After all, your child is the one and only. You yourself must build relationships based on general principles, age and personality characteristics of your child.

Most of the scandals and vagaries in relations between parents and teenagers are explained by the reluctance of parents (or lack of understanding of the need) to change their usual style of interaction. To study the essence of whims and restructuring relationships, I recommend reading the book by E. N. Korneeva “Children's whims. What is it and how to deal with it.” The book examines in detail all age-related crises (including adolescence) and the most popular conflicts between children and parents.

Psychological help

Depending on the results of the consultation, the specialist may offer treatment for the identified disease or correction of certain psychological problems. It is important to understand that full-fledged psychotherapy requires a large number of sessions and a long course of treatment in general.

Possible correction methods:

1. Family therapy. The psychologist tries to competently conduct a psychotherapy session with a teenager and his parents.
2. Group therapy. In psychology and psychiatry, work in specialized groups is often practiced. This method helps fight social phobia and anxiety.
3. Cognitive behavioral therapy is the most popular method of psychotherapy aimed at teaching the patient independent methods of dealing with the symptoms of disorders.

The choice of treatment method depends on many factors, including the severity of the psychological condition and the age of the patient.

How to encourage positive behavior in your child

The information presented below is relevant for overcoming and preventing deviations and correcting teenage accentuations. That is, these are the basic principles of parental behavior for the successful passage of adolescence in their child.

1. Invite the teenager to a dialogue. A banal and simple “let’s talk?”
2. Praise on every occasion. You can't combine praise and scolding. Due to natural age-related negativism, a teenager will not notice praise, but will only take note of blame.
3. Together with the teenager, write down the desired behavior styles (relevant for both parties) and discuss them.
4. It is important to set real and clear boundaries, prohibitions and punishments. Teenagers often test their parents for the strength and value of their words. Keep any promises and don’t say: “I’ll kill you” (after all, you won’t, I hope). “I’ll have to turn off the Internet for a day” sounds much better and more realistic.
5. Do not demand immediate fulfillment of the request. The teenager should be given 5-10 minutes to think and reflect internally.
6. Gently remind your teenager of your responsibilities.
7. Always offer an alternative (or at least have one ready).
8. Focus on positive and desirable phenomena, ignore undesirable ones.
9. Agree on punishment in advance. It makes no sense to come up with a reprimand after a teenager does not sleep at home without warning. He should have known all the risks and consequences in advance.

Diagnostics

To undergo a professional examination, it is recommended to make an appointment with a psychologist or psychotherapist. The specialist will ask the patient and his parents about complaints, and will also study anamnestic information to identify risk factors for diseases. An initial consultation helps identify suspicious behavioral traits. To clarify the level of anxiety and depression, a psychologist can use standardized tests.

Additional diagnostic methods:

• neurological examination to exclude organic diseases of the brain that affect emotions and behavior;
• therapeutic examination to exclude pathologies of internal organs.

The purpose of an early psychological examination is to detect unfavorable personality tendencies that may subsequently become the cause of the manifestation of the disorder. Eliminating the disease at this stage of development can significantly improve a person’s quality of life. On the contrary, treatment of already established mental disorders can be difficult.