A person lives in society from birth, so he constantly interacts with others. As we grow up, our circle of communication expands significantly: at first we contact only our parents, a little later - with our peers, then - classmates, classmates, and work colleagues. Sharing information is an important part of our daily lives. With the help of words and non-verbal means, we convey important messages, share our feelings and emotions with others, and also receive the necessary information. Communication is one of the main ways to gain new knowledge about the world.
Communication deficit
The researchers came to the conclusion that every person has a certain vocabulary that he must spend every day.
Otherwise, people begin to feel psychological discomfort. Many members of modern society, despite the large number of means of communication (mobile communications, Internet, etc.), feel lonely. The consequences of a lack of communication are varied:
- unstable emotional state,
- nervous breakdowns,
- psychoses,
- depression,
- and etc.
At the same time, lonely people are not necessarily hermits who live far from civilization; as it turns out, it is not so easy for the population of large cities with a population of millions to establish truly high-quality and strong social connections.
Active Listening Techniques
involve the following actions (verbalizations):
- Pronunciation. The interlocutor repeats the partner’s statements verbatim, and he can start with the following phrase: “As I understand you, ...,” “In other words, ...,” etc.
- Paraphrasing. The interlocutors reproduce the partner’s statement in an abbreviated and generalized form, briefly formulating the most significant things in his words. “Your main ideas, as I understand it, are...”; "So, .."
- Development of the idea. The interlocutor is trying to draw a logical consequence from the partner’s statement: “Based on what you said, it turns out that...”
Verbalizations perform the following functions:
- Allows you to collect information.
- Allows you to display the most important information.
- Helps clarify whether you understood your partner correctly.
- Helps you remember information better.
- Helps to comprehend information.
- Helps to summarize.
- Helps you stay on top of the problem.
- It is a means of orientation towards a partner.
- Helps you better understand your problem.
- They help reinforce your partner’s point of view.
- Gives time to think.
- Verbalization helps to use the pause mechanism.
The “search for a joint solution” stage. It is also often called the argumentation stage, since here you need to argue your point of view and work with your partner’s arguments.
What should you do with the arguments that your interlocutor has already expressed? Some of them need to be counter-argued, some arguments need to be analyzed, considered from different points of view
There are two main strategies for argumentation: bottom-up and top-down.
Stage "Decision making"
The fourth stage is the stage of making a decision and leaving contact. The success of passing and completing this stage depends on how effective the communication was, that is, whether it met both criteria for effectiveness. It is very important to pay attention to ensuring that a single decision is made and that all participants understand this decision equally. The second important point is that all participants in the communication are satisfied with both the decision itself and the decision-making process, and, consequently, with each other. In such a situation, leaving contact occurs naturally; it is easy for everyone to say pleasant words to each other.
Need for support
Communication for most people, first of all, is a tool for realizing certain needs.
Over the course of his entire life, a person builds a whole system of social connections: family, friends, work colleagues, acquaintances, etc. Psychologists believe that through communication people feel that they belong to society.
Communication provides several types of social support:
- Informational
- by communicating with other people, we receive new information about the reality around us. - Emotional
- with the help of words we express our feelings and experiences. - Instrumental
- in the process of communication, people may ask for certain assistance (material or moral). - Evaluative
- during communication, our attitude towards certain events and people is compared
Unlimited Knowledge
Researchers have concluded that in many cases the main purpose of communication is to gain experience.
The knowledge of each individual person is quite limited, so often we cannot even imagine the full picture of what is happening. The process of communication opens the door to a treasury of world experience. Reading books, searching for information on the Internet, and live communication with experienced professionals are all valuable sources of information.
In addition, as we know, truth is born in a dispute: many new ideas and ideas are the result of productive communication.
Those who know how to listen to their opponents are much more far-sighted than those who fiercely try to defend their point of view.
By listening to the opinions of another person, you get the opportunity to look at what is happening from the outside and draw the right conclusions.
The concept of communication motives and methods of their research
Chapter Five
Development of communication motives
with peers
The concept of communication motives and methods of their research
Motives are the driving forces behind the activity and behavior of a subject. There is no single view in understanding their nature in psychology. The initial concept for us was proposed by A. N. Leontiev (1975). It naturally follows from the concept of the psyche as an activity that he developed. The latter is the starting point of our understanding of the nature of communication as a communicative activity. The concept of motive is closely related to the concepts of subject of activity and need. “Only as a result of its discovery, the need acquires its objectivity, and the perceived (imagined, conceivable) object - its motivating, activity-directing function, that is, it becomes a motive” (A. N. Leontiev, 1975, p. 190).
The proposed concept makes it possible to rely on an object (or an idea of it), in which the motive is “objectified,” which makes it possible to judge the motives of the subject on the basis of objectively observable facts. This is especially important when studying the motives of young children.
Motives for communication are those qualities of a partner that, when revealed in the process, satisfy the need for communication. Since the motives for communication are inextricably linked with the need for it, understanding them requires revealing the content of the need. The best way to judge the content of a need is through the products of communication, which, according to the concept of M. I. Lisina, represent images of oneself and another person. The essence of the need for communication is self-knowledge and self-esteem of the subject through knowledge of the communication partner. It follows that the subject is encouraged to interact with a partner, that is, they become the motives for communicating with him; it is precisely those qualities of the latter that reveal his own self to the subject and contribute to his self-awareness.
The metaphorical concept of “partner as a mirror” is divided into two functions: 1) identifying the similarity of partners, which allows you to know yourself through knowing the other and comparing yourself with him;
2) identifying your partner’s assessment of your qualities and clarifying them for yourself. The first path involves the perception and assessment of the partner’s qualities; the second is to encourage the partner to respond to the initiative, to capture and take it into account. Hence, the motives of communication should be sought in two types of qualities that are different in function: 1) in the general (similar) properties of the partner and 2) in the ability \
partners to give a response (evaluation) to the manifestations of other participants
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nicks of communication. The named types of qualities correspond to two main types of communicative motives (partner is a similarity to the subject, partner is an appreciator of the subject).
When analyzing the motives of children’s communication with each other, it is important to take into account the fact that communication is not always an independent activity: it is often only a component of practical or cognitive activity. The child fulfills his basic needs for knowledge of the world and activity. As children develop various types of activities, primarily the leading one - games, they have a need for collective action and pooling of efforts. Therefore, the most important quality that encourages them to joint activity, and therefore to communicate in it, is the ability to coordinate actions, to be consistent. This ability constitutes the third main type of children’s communicative motives (a partner is an equal participant in a common cause).
Communicative motives are closely related to the content of the need for communication. The content of the need for communication expresses the type of objects (manifestations of human qualities) capable of satisfying it. At each level of development of this need, communicative motives represent different options for qualities that can satisfy children’s need for communication. Thus, the need for respect can be satisfied by various manifestations of peers: verbal approval or involvement in the activities of a peer and its creative development.
Preschool age is the initial phase of the development of children’s communication with peers, which rarely appears in its independent capacity and is mainly included as a component in other types of activities, and mainly in the leading one - play. Therefore, the motives of such activities as play, self-service, and initial forms of labor really encourage children to communicate. The motives of communication are subordinated to other motives or act in unity with them.
To study the development of motives for communication between a preschooler and a peer, it is first necessary to examine the objects that encourage him to communicate, that is, to determine and characterize the qualities of a peer as a subject and personality. According to the concept of A. N. Leontiev, as well as the theory of J. Nuttin (J. Nuttin, 1980a), which largely coincides with it in this regard, in order to characterize motivating objects, it is necessary to highlight those actions of the subject that express his desire for motivating objects . These are the actions of a child by which he encourages his peer to reveal some of his qualities (and above all - mirrors, as well as the desire for consistency in actions).
It is necessary to evaluate the driving force of different motives, isolate the leading ones, determine the comparative importance of additional ones, and identify the decisive factor in the development of motives.
There is still no clear picture of the development of a child’s motives for communicating with peers. The works of foreign researchers of the neo-Freudian school emphasize the hostile manifestations of children in relation to each other (N. Feshbach et al., 1972), which the authors explain based on instincts that are only gradually overcome during “socialization” (N. Feshbach et al., 1972; F. Dodson, 1970—cited from: M. Lewis, L. Rosenblum, 1975). Representatives of behavioral psychology see the hope of reward in encouraging children to contact their peers: more often - a gift (pictures, candy), less often - spiritual values (affection, support) (J. Bryan, 1975).
M. I. Lisina (1974 b), A. G. Ruzskaya (1974) identified types of motives for children to enter into communication with adults, called business, cognitive and personal. To study the motives of a child’s communication with an adult, two types of methods were used. In the first of them, situations were created that were close to the natural conditions of communication between a child and an adult, in which the adult addressed the child with his friendly attention, willingness to participate in a common game, and his qualities as an interesting storyteller, after which he provided a choice of several alternative communication opportunities (A.G. Ruzskaya, 1974). With the second type of methods in a play situation, the adult remained passive, expecting the child to take the initiative in making contacts, which were recorded and then analyzed (Z. M. Boguslavskaya, 1974; D. B. Godovikova, 1974; A. I. Silvestru, 1978 ).
The motives for children’s communication with peers were studied differently. The authors analyzed children’s justifications for their attachments to peers (V. A. Abramenkova, 1981; V. K. Kotyrlo, 1979; A. V. Zaporozhets,
T. A. Markova, 1980; T. I. Komissarenko, 1979 a, b; B.S. Mukhina, 1975; T.A. Repina, 1978). However, it is known that even adults, as a rule, are not aware of the motives of their actions (A. Maslow, 1954); This is even more common in children. Therefore, when studying the motives of communication, it is necessary to rely on objective facts of children’s behavior and through facts to establish what motivates preschoolers to communicate.
This chapter uses materials from four studies (D. B. Godovikova, M. N. Mahamanova, 1985; D. B. Godovikova, 1984; R. A. Smirnova, 1981; R. I. Derevyanko, 1983), in which modified the two above-mentioned methods for studying the motives of a child’s communication with adults. The first study (D.B. Godovikova, M.N. Makhamanova, 1985) analyzed the communication of each of 50 children from 2 to 7 years old for 2 hours with each other in the natural setting of a kindergarten (registration was carried out by two observers). We noted situations in which the child’s initiative requests to a peer appeared and considered them in connection with the partner’s response. We identified objects, that is, manifestations of certain qualities that the child was looking for when addressing a peer. Except
In addition, specific actions, verbal and non-verbal, with which the child expressed his desire for a partner were identified.
In the second study (D.B. Godovikova, 1984), the importance of a peer’s qualities as incentives to communicate with him was specifically tested. We created such playful communication situations in which children had to take on a role, reincarnate as carriers of the qualities (motives) inherent in their communication with adults (business, cognitive and personal). Thus, children, playing with toys, demonstrated business skills (masters of the game); they looked at picture books, which created a reason for the emergence of cognitive motives; talked about their tastes, favorite toys, preferred peers, expressing their personal qualities. In several situations, business, cognitive and personal motives were embodied in the behavior program of one child. He acted as an actor, the other as a spectator. The actor got the opportunity to demonstrate his merits to his peer and receive his response, assessment, while the viewer was able to perceive the various qualities of his peer and express his attitude towards them. The situations were structured like a game “on TV” (A. G. Ruzskaya, 1974).
Both participants recorded manifestations of activity that characterize the degree of desire for the qualities demonstrated by a peer: attention to him and an emotional reaction to his activity, proactive appeals to him and response to his answer. The total assessment of these manifestations of the child’s desire to communicate with a partner acting in a certain capacity served as an indicator of the motivating power of the motives of a particular category. The same purpose was further served by the child’s choice of one communication option after familiarizing himself with all the options. Children connected by relationships of affection and friendship were involved in the experiments.
The same preschoolers (50 people) participated in the experiments (second study) and observations (first study), which made it possible to obtain a variety of information about each child.
The third study, conducted by R. A. Smirnova (1981), also used a technique for implementing certain motives of communication in children's behavior programs. The programs were personalized to different children. After the child had experience of all the provided types of interaction with partners, it became clear which one he preferred. The basis for the conclusion about the attractiveness of a particular type of interaction was the change in the child’s attitude towards peers who personified different motives for communication.
The fourth study (R.I. Derevyanko, 1983) compared the motives of a child’s communication with peers and with adults. Co-
1 The work has not been published. 102
Situations were created that stimulated the child to make business, cognitive and personal contacts with both adults and peers.
Research (a total of 5,000 experiments) was conducted with children from 2 to 7 years old in kindergartens in Moscow, Dushanbe, Komsomolsk-on-Amur.
Main categories of motives for communication - with peers in children 2 - 7 years old
We judged the child’s motives for communicating with peers based on an analysis of his communicative actions and those active manifestations of his partner that created a state of satisfaction in the child. In the verbal act, the topic of discussion was revealed, which characterized the need that caused the appeal to a peer, and at the same time the type of action to which the child encouraged the partner was determined: practical, communication of information, attitude to what was heard. This gave us the opportunity to establish for what qualities of a peer the child turns to him, and to identify stable goals that were systematically set by the child. As a result of the analysis of all the materials received, three categories of motives for a child’s communication with a peer were identified, similar to those inherent in his contacts with an adult.
The first and most important category consists of motives generated by children’s need for active activity, which is expressed in preschoolers in role-playing games and is the leading activity for them. A child enters into communication with a peer for the sake of participating in a common game or productive activity, to which he is encouraged by the qualities of a peer necessary for the development of exciting and coordinated action. And above all, these are the skills to create interesting ideas for games, put forward goals and coordinate their goals and actions with other participants. The subordination of the motives of communication of this category to the needs of the common cause allows us to call them business.
During preschool age, children's cognitive interests develop. The child is enriched with new knowledge about the world and the ability to construct a narrative. This creates a reason for turning to a peer, in whom the child finds a listener and connoisseur. The qualities of a peer as a source of information and its connoisseur, which meet the cognitive needs of children, constitute the second category - the cognitive motives of their communication, which is inferior in importance to the first.
The third category included personal motives. The child gets involved in any activity that a peer is engaged in in order to compare his and his capabilities. Here, the role of motives is played by comparable, analogous qualities - one’s own and one’s peer’s, capabilities (skills, knowledge, moral qualities), needs (desires, inclinations). This is the first version of a personal motive, when it 103
directly expresses the need to communicate with a peer, and is not subordinated to other needs. The second version of the personal motive is a peer as a connoisseur of those qualities that the child has already identified in himself as advantages. The child demonstrates his skills, knowledge and personal qualities, encouraging other children to confirm their value. The motive for communication becomes his own qualities in accordance with the property of his peer to be their connoisseur. This motive is also directly related to the need for communication, with the child’s desire to know his capabilities, to confirm his advantages, using the response to them from a peer. Both versions of personal motives embody the qualities of a peer as a mirror in the two functions discussed at the beginning of the chapter.
Knowledge of another person and oneself is accompanied by an assessment of both subjects, as a result of which a stable position is created in relation to oneself and to peers. Three types of positions are possible: equality with a peer, superiority over him and inequality in favor of a peer. A child may develop one type (superiority or equality) or all three types of positions in relation to peers. Uneven positions become sources of different motives for communication. In a position of superiority, the child looks for qualities in peers that confirm her main motive: a peer-appreciator. In a position of equality, the child strives to cooperate and search for common goals, similar activities and self-expression among peers. In an unequal position, the child wants to find in a peer a model or source of goals and instructions for their implementation, as well as his attention and approval. The business motive here is combined with the personal one. Evaluating the actions and qualities of oneself and a peer involves their correlation with the norm. Therefore, we will also classify as personal motives the moral norms identified by children in discussing people’s actions. Children need a more refined understanding of the latter when constructing their actions and their own personality.
Personal motives for communication form an independent category. However, they are included as a mandatory addition in the categories of business and educational motives. In addition to these main categories of motives for children’s communication, there are complex forms - personal-business, personal-cognitive.
In all the options considered so far, the peer acted as a motive-means: his qualities contributed either to enriching the child’s play or to a better understanding of himself. However, already in preschool age it is possible to communicate with a peer for the sake of revealing precisely his qualities and building a holistic image of a peer with his inherent originality and dissimilarity from other people.
View of the world
Communication helps us change and reconsider our attitude towards others.
Sharing information with people allows us to rethink our views and change ourselves in time. Unfortunately, contacts with society can bring not only benefits, but also harm. Communication with people who demonstrate a sharply negative attitude towards traditional universal values can lead to harmful consequences. That is why, when receiving information from various sources, it is necessary to be selective, to filter out information that may be harmful or even dangerous.
Kholod Victoria · 08 Mar, 2018
