Existential psychology of deep communication

annotation

This is the first book not only in domestic, but also in world literature, dedicated to the presentation and analysis of one of the most profound and promising approaches in modern world psychology and psychotherapy - the existential-humanistic approach of James Bugental. The history of the emergence of this trend, its philosophical and theoretical foundations, as well as the psychological concept of deep communication, on the basis of which the practice of psychological counseling is built, are examined in detail.

To be or not to be, that is the question. Is it worthy to submit to the blows of fate, or is it necessary to resist?..

William Shakespeare

We do not cure diseases or correct violations, we free prisoners...

James Budgetal

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Preface

This book did not appear suddenly or by accident. It has its own, already quite large, backstory. In the summer of 1992, at the II International Conference on Humanistic Psychology in Moscow, Deborah Rahilly from the USA spoke about the concept of her teacher, James Budgetal

* (James Bugental), one of the leaders of the existential-humanistic approach (EGA). Her message aroused great interest. And then a group of Russian psychologists (Elena Mazur, Dmitry Leontyev and the author of these lines, who by that time had long been seriously interested in the humanistic direction) agreed with Deborah to hold several introductory seminars after the conference, including in Moscow and St. Petersburg. These short but very intense meetings were successful, and in both cities groups of psychologists and psychotherapists were formed who were interested in a deeper development of this approach.

* We should immediately mention the “name problem”: perhaps it is James Bugental

has the most varied form of writing his surname in Russian (I have already counted more than five variants!); Without entering into a discussion about what would be correct “in reality”, I prefer to use the transcription that I heard from JB himself

In September 1993, the First Russian-American Conference “Theory and Practice of Existential Psychotherapy” was held in Moscow and St. Petersburg, which attracted a fairly large number of participants. At the conference, for the first time in Russia, the existential-humanistic approach of James Budgetal was presented quite fully and from different sides. There were interesting reports (from both American and our specialists), interesting discussions and bright demonstrations.

During 1993-1995, Deborah and her colleagues - Robert Nader, Lanier Clance, Padma Catell, etc. - conducted a series of training seminars on EGP in Russia, in between The Moscow and St. Petersburg groups actively mastered methodological materials, discussed the experience gained, and translated primary sources.

This was a very significant period for all of us, and the movement was two-way. American colleagues got to know us, our moods and capabilities, our readiness to seriously comprehend and master this deep, highly complex approach. We ourselves, on the one hand, were actively involved in the exciting process of discovering existential views on a person, his development, personal growth and the conditions for psychological (psychotherapeutic) assistance in solving life problems, and, on the other hand, we tried to “listen” to ourselves and to understand how serious our readiness to take an existential position in psychology and in life is.

In the process of such mutual and self-knowledge, our self-determination gradually occurred - someone stepped aside, taking from this approach only what was close and understandable to him personally; someone decided to build their career on this, make a “name” for themselves, etc.; someone made a very definite and conscious choice in favor of existentialism, while others remained at a crossroads, continuing to doubt and search.

All this took a lot of effort and time - almost five years! These were wonderful days, I remember with great warmth our meetings, disputes, discoveries and am sincerely proud of the “team” that we managed to unite in this difficult but fascinating process of “cultivating” existentialism on the St. Petersburg psychological soil (not the most fertile, it must be admitted) for humanistic and existential ideas). This group at various stages included such well-known St. Petersburg specialists as psychologists Tatyana Kurbatova and Diana Tonkonogaya, Natalia Grishina and Andrei Zamulin, Sevil Vekilova and Leonid Kulikov, Elena Korablina and Natalya Patturina, Irina Iskandaryan and Sergei Ryabchenko, Lyudmila Korostyleva and Valery Sitnikov, who helped with the translation, Masha Nemicheva and Maria Mironova, and many others. Everyone made their unique contribution, did a great job - and I am very grateful to all of you, dear colleagues.

Today it is obvious that our efforts were not in vain: until quite recently this area of modern psychology was practically unknown in our country even to specialists; now the approach of J. Bugental is quite well known and respected, they know about it from training seminars, lectures, and numerous publications (see, for example, Bugental, 1995; Bugental, 1998; Bratchenko, 1997, 1998, 2000 ; Bratchenko, Kurbatova, 1997; Mironova, Bratchenko, 1997, etc.). In 1996, a section of “existential-humanistic therapy” was created at the St. Petersburg Association of Training and Psychotherapy. In general, the process has begun and is quite active. Now comes the most important, decisive moment - the training of true professional practitioners.

The next stage of work was a trip to America and getting acquainted with the practice of EGP in his homeland*. Moreover, we managed not only to come into contact, but also to enter into an intensive two-week dialogue with a whole constellation of representatives of this trend, led by one of its inspirers and creators, James Budgetal. This happened at the Russian-American conference “Existential-humanistic psychotherapy”, held on January 20 - February 3, 1997 in San Francisco - at the epicenter of the development of the existential-humanistic approach. (For more information about the fascinating “journey into existentialism” see Mironova, Bratchenko, 1997; Bratchenko, Kurbatova, 1997; Bratchenko, 1997.)

* The existential approach to psychology appeared in the first half of the 20th century in Europe, but this direction was created primarily by the efforts of Americans: Rollo May, J. Budgetal, Irving Yalom and others - see for more details. paragraphs 1.1. and 1.2.

My impressions of communicating with American colleagues are very vivid and varied. On the one hand, I was once again convinced that despite all the obvious differences, “by and large” they are the same as us. We understood each other quite well (despite the language difficulties some had), and we turned out to have a lot in common - not so much even in a professional sense, but in a human sense. Several times I recalled the famous “formula” of Carl Rogers: the most profound thing in people is the most general.

Particularly valuable and memorable for me were, of course, meetings and communications with James Bugental, as well as with Gregg Richardson, Molly Sterling, Victor Yalom, Richard Weissman, Thomas Greening, Stanley Kripner and many others.

On the other hand, in communicating with American psychologists and psychotherapists, I discovered a lot of new things and gained a unique experience. In particular, it became clearly clear: yes, in theoretical terms, our psychologists, as a rule, are very “savvy”, they are happy to engage in scientific discussions on the most complex issues... But in practical terms, in the ability to enter into direct deep contact with the client and to conduct intensive, effective and at the same time non-directive therapeutic work - here most of us still have to grow and grow (at least for myself personally I can say this quite definitely). However, this in itself should not be regarded as a drawback: from the point of view of the EGP, the scary thing is not that there is still “something to change”, but just the opposite – that there is nothing left (or there is no need...). For myself, I saw a very rich and promising “zone of proximal development” precisely in the existential-humanistic direction. For most of my colleagues, as far as I can tell, this trip also turned out to be very significant and useful.

So, existentialism is slowly but surely growing on the soil of Russian psychology and psychotherapy. I was lucky to be a participant in this process of the emergence of the existential-humanistic approach in Russia from its very first steps. This work is an attempt to summarize my experience, which can be conditionally grouped into three main sources.

The first source is a very rich, deep and rich experience of communication and participation

in seminars and trainings conducted by professional psychologists and psychotherapists from the USA, specializing in the existential-humanistic direction.
I would especially like to note the meeting with James Budgetal
, the founder of this direction. This Meeting and the Master’s lessons had (and continue to have) a very strong and deep, truly existential influence on me!

I saw before me not only (and not so much!) a major theorist and authoritative researcher, a unique psychotherapist, the leader of an entire direction in psychology (Byudzhental, as you know, was a colleague of A. Maslow, C. Rogers, R. May and others in the implementation of “ humanistic revolution" in psychology, he was elected the first president of the "Association for Humanistic Psychology", he was the editor of the famous book, a kind of "humanistic manifesto" - "The Challenges of Humanistic psychology" (1967), etc., etc. ), but above all – a person, a Personality. A wise man with enormous experience - but ready to be surprised and discover again and again. An experienced person, sensitive and deeply understanding - but respecting the mystery of the inner world of the individual and refusing to give unambiguous, final answers. A person who thinks clearly, logically, surprisingly easily puts complex topics and problems into pieces (but is aware of the fundamental incompleteness of any reasoning on existential topics) - and is a master of metaphors, images, and humor. A person who has dealt with human problems, suffering, pain all his life - and has retained optimism, faith in the positive essence of human nature...

And further. For me, it was fundamentally important to make sure that in this case the Man and his Concept (theoretical and practical) are a single whole: Budgetal lives fully, is “present” in his theory and in his practical work; and his concept is very vital and very personal. Both he and his approach are surprisingly natural and harmonious.

Conversations, educational interaction and personal communication with students and followers of J. Budgetal: Deborah Rahilly and Robert Nader, Gregg Richardson and Ora Krug were also very significant for me. Thanks to their bright and deep work, willingness to share professional “secrets”, openness, sincerity and patience, I not only better understood many complex issues of EGP, but also felt and “lived” them in joint communication at “sessions”. I learned a lot from these brilliant professionals and wonderful people.

The second source is learning experience

a variety of theoretical and methodological literature on humanistic and existential philosophy, psychology and psychotherapy, as well as its discussion with colleagues. For me personally, the most significant were the works of M.M. Bakhtin, J. and R. Bayard, M. Buber, F.E. Vasilyuk, S. Jurard, A.F. Kopiev, J. Corey, D.A. Leontiev, R. Lang, G. Landreth, A. Maslow, R. May, C. Rogers, S. L. Rubinstein, J.-P. Sartre, M. and R. Snyder, W. Frankl, A. W. Harasz and , of course, J. Budgetal.

Of the works of James Bugental, three books made the strongest impression on me: “The Search for Existential Identity” (1976), “Psychotherapy and Process” (1978), “The Art of the Psychotherapist” (1987). (The latter work formed the basis for the development of the training seminar program “Psychology of Deep Communication” - see the third part of this manual).

All texts by J. Budgetal are distinguished by the fundamentality of their theoretical foundations, the abundance of diverse concrete, vital “material,” clarity of presentation and personal significance and bias. The author does not simply present some abstract ideas and “cases from practice”; he vividly, visibly and very personally reveals the experience of his own existential search - personal and professional - as well as the experience of helping other people, his clients, to carry out such a search. These books represent, in my opinion, a kind of cast from life, real, diverse and endless, and form a fascinating “mixture” of a scientific treatise, autobiography, methodological manual and work of art.

The third source is the extremely important (albeit very different, ambiguous and clearly insufficient) experience of independently conducting

training seminars on EGP for practical psychologists. In total, at the moment, about twenty such seminars have been held in a number of cities in Russia, Ukraine, and Belarus. The main results of this work will be discussed below (see §3.4). Here I would like to emphasize that it was my attempts to put into practice the existential-humanistic approach (it would be more accurate, of course, to say its individual elements) that allowed me to feel the key values and attitudes of the EGP, and to understand much more deeply its meaning both for the profession and for life. Each such seminar - both more successful and (to an even greater extent!) less successful - was filled with active, sometimes dramatic searches, discoveries and intensive advancement not only for its participants, but also for myself.

All “three sources, three components” of my experience in comprehending the existential-humanistic approach are very dear and valuable to me and I am sincerely grateful to everyone who contributed to this!

S.B.St. Petersburg, 1997-2001

When the first version of this book had already been written, news came that “The Art of the Psychotherapist” by James Budgetal was finally being prepared for release in Russian! This will, of course, be a great holiday for everyone interested in humanistic and existential trends in psychology, and for me in particular - I have been dreaming about this for many years. But, on the other hand, translating the “original source” calls into question the intent of my own work. What I considered my main goal, and what I thought was the merit of my book - the most complete and accurate presentation of the main content of the EGP concept with minimal comments and additions - now changes its meaning. There was even a desire to completely redo this work. However, not without hesitation, I still decided to keep the original idea - an additional presentation of Budgetal’s ideas will only be beneficial (especially since the translation of “The Art of the Psychotherapist” leaves, in my opinion, much to be desired and it will be useful for readers to be able to compare at least the most important provisions and choose the Russian version yourself). In any case, two books about the existential-humanistic approach are better than none.

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INTRODUCTION

WHAT IS THIS BOOK ABOUT?

It is dedicated, in my opinion, to the most important thing in the training of a practical psychologist - what occupies a central place in his training and professional work - the disclosure and description of the World of interpersonal communication in all its diversity and depth.

For a practical psychologist (as well as for a teacher, parent, leader) this is the world where he lives and acts, and the main results of his activities primarily depend on the quality of being in which. Moreover, it is safe to say that the quality of a person’s communication largely determines the quality of his life; Moreover, I am convinced that this is true not only for representatives of “communication-rich” professions, but also for any person.

Therefore, understanding communication in such a way as to understand the main thing and not miss the details, and even be able to take all this into account and implement it in the practice of real contacts with people is very important. But it is also very difficult. And if few people doubt the importance of communication, then its complexity, in my opinion, is clearly underestimated by many.

The amount of literature currently published on “communication problems” is enormous. However, in the overwhelming majority of cases, these are either superficially naive advice and recipes (“how to read a person like a book”), or clearly (or more covertly) manipulative instructions (“how to win friends”), or scientific research and abstract recommendations based on them (“how to communicate correctly”).

Despite all their diversity, these approaches are united by one fundamental point - a simplified and therefore largely distorted view of the complex and contradictory world of communication. Accordingly, communication training programs that are based on such, to put it mildly, simple and uncomplicated, but despite this (or maybe that’s why?!), very popular views, suffer from the same shortcomings. These and similar approaches could be defined as the psychology of surface communication

(or, in more extreme cases - as a simplified psychology of communication), which, apparently, is also needed, but for a professional (and not only) is completely insufficient.

There is a clear lack of a more subtle, deep and adequate view of interpersonal communication as a meeting of Personalities, sovereign and full-fledged “I”, as of the World of specifically human relations. Just as obvious is the lack of psychologically based deep communication

programs for the effective development of relevant communication skills.
An attempt to at least to some extent compensate for this deficiency is presented in this work. Of the possible approaches to considering the deep aspects of communication, I choose the concept of James Budgetal, which forms the foundation of the existential psychology of deep communication
. In the future, when speaking about the psychology of deep communication, I will have in mind precisely its existential level.

WHO IS THIS BOOK FOR?

First of all, it is addressed to practical psychologists (more precisely, consulting psychologists)* - those who already have experience of independent work, as well as those who are just preparing for this extremely noble and equally difficult activity.

* In the future, I will mainly use the term “facilitator” - as a generalized name for the positions of a practical psychologist, consultant, psychotherapist, which at the same time indicates belonging to the humanistic tradition; Budgetal himself prefers to say “psychotherapist,” although he notes that this term does not completely suit him.

For a psychologist, the theory and practice of communication is one of the cornerstones of his work as a professional. I am convinced that the professional competence of a psychologist depends primarily on his communicative competence. And therefore, it is completely insufficient for a psychologist to be familiar with communication only at the level of popular and scientific research literature. It is necessary to comprehend the living reality of the psychology of deep communication - and in all its diversity, in all its subtleties and nuances, in all the options and contradictions that must be taken into account when solving psychological problems. The concept presented in this work can be considered as intended for those who have already mastered the basics of communication, the basis for a higher (and at the same time deeper) level of communicative competence.

At the same time, not all psychologists can accept the value and theoretical orientation of the proposed concept. And this is natural: many provisions of the existential-humanistic approach clearly do not agree with the ideas of, for example, classical psychoanalysis or behaviorism, and Soviet psychology as a whole stood on significantly different positions. However, the great advantage of J. Budgetal’s concept (on which I will mainly rely in the first place) can be considered the fact that he develops

his view of communication and especially the approach he proposed to the development of basic communication abilities and the development of the art of counseling is, in my opinion, universal and one of the most carefully developed and practically verified among the main approaches in world psychology and psychotherapy. I am sure that every psychologist, no matter what psychological school he belongs to, will find a lot of value here.

I would also like to hope that such a deep professional look at communication from an existential-humanistic position will, to a certain extent, be interesting and useful to any non-psychologist who wants to really understand and improve their competence in matters of interpersonal communication. It will be especially important to see the world of communication from this angle for those who are involved in the development and personal growth of the child - teachers and parents.

WHY AN EXISTENTIAL-HUMANISTIC APPROACH?

This question is key for this work; so let's look at it in more detail. It’s worth starting with the very name of the approach: “existential-humanistic.”

Existential

, because relies on existential views, that is, it proceeds from the fact that every person exists, realizing the human way of being. A person’s life is saturated with many different events, he is influenced by natural, sociocultural factors and other forces, but all of these are just initial circumstances and material, “raw materials” from which each person builds his life, his being, and the results of this construction depend primarily turn from his efforts.

Actually, if it is possible to define the “main task” of a person’s life, then from an existential point of view it consists in living life exactly as a human being, choosing at every moment one’s own, authentic path. And therefore, in order to truly understand a person as a person, in the “human dimension”, one must first of all understand the main thing: how exactly and to what extent he participates in the creation of his life, how he “exists” - experiences this or that moment of his existence , answers the fundamental questions of existence, makes life choices, makes decisions, takes responsibility for them, etc.

In other words, existential psychology strives to discern through the external facade of life (“optical World”) its deep, actually human foundations (“ontological World”). Only relying on such an existential vision is it possible to understand what hinders a person’s full existence, help him realize this and promote existential changes in his life (it is no coincidence that another name for J. Budgetal’s concept is “life-changing therapy”). Without this, any changes in the optical world will have only a temporary, cosmetic effect.

Humanistic

this approach is, according to J. Budgetal, because, firstly, it recognizes the specificity of human existence as the main value. The consequence of this is a fundamental rejection of reductionist views (alas, so widespread in psychology), which objectify a person (often in completely scientific ways) and ignore the subjective-personal basis of his existence - in all its complexity, contradictoryness and inexhaustibility. And secondly, it recognizes in a person a powerful (albeit often hidden and unrealized) potential in the ability to master his own life, taking responsibility for it. This faith in man and an optimistic view of his capabilities unites EGP with all humanistic-oriented concepts.

Thus, the existential-humanistic approach is an attempt to build a new psychology: a psychology with a “human face” in essence and in the form of its implementation; psychology, which does not give in to the ambiguous, difficult to comprehend and very dramatic essence of man, but consistently and consciously chooses an existential philosophical and methodological basis and humanistic values.

It is also important to note that for our country EGP is a new psychology in the literal sense, because until very recently, it was almost unknown to domestic specialists, and therefore the relevance of presenting these ideas is obvious. At the same time, the spread of EGP in our country today is not such a simple process and is associated with a number of contradictions and paradoxes.

If the well-known formula of G. Ebbinghaus: “Psychology has a very long past and a very small history” is true for psychology as a whole, then this applies to EGP more than to any other approach. The paradox is that although the existential direction took shape in psychology later than other basic approaches (psychoanalysis, behaviorism, Gestalt psychology, cognitive psychology and others) and is often considered “young”, it is EGP that has the oldest and most solid prehistory among all psychological concepts. The existential view has a centuries-old tradition, and its roots can be found in philosophical works as far back as three thousand years BC! (See Schneider, May, 1995, p. 11 for more details.) However, in modern psychology, existential motives really began to sound not so long ago - approximately from the middle of our century.
Now this approach comes to us as “foreign”, and therefore appears to many as “foreign influence”. But the paradox is that the existential tradition is very strong in Russian culture - just remember Nikolai Aleksandrovich Berdyaev or Mikhail Mikhailovich Bakhtin. Moreover, Western theorists of EGP themselves, among its main ideologues and predecessors, always name Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky as one of the first.

True, it is precisely in our psychology that the Russian existential tradition, until recently, manifested itself in a very weakened form, as the same M.M. Bakhtin would say - in “homeopathic doses.”
This is especially true in the practical sphere. At the theoretical level, this position is represented to a greater extent (although clearly not enough). Among Soviet psychologists there were existentially thinking authors - first of all, it should be noted Sergei Leonidovich Rubinstein and his still unappreciated remarkable work “Man and the World” (Rubinstein, 1976, pp. 253-381), as well as the concept of “personal meaning” Alexey Nikolaevich Leontiev and his like-minded people (Asmolov et al., 1979; D.A. Leontiev, 1999) (see §1.1 for more details). Once again, we are “discovering America” without noticing the prophets in our own country... And we are in no particular hurry to “discover” - EGP comes to Russian psychology later than other concepts, among the most recent. However, in fairness, it should be admitted that a detailed existential concept of the psychology of communication has not yet been created in Russian psychology, and, moreover, there are no effective programs for the development of relevant abilities. In this regard, turning to the developments and experience of foreign colleagues is completely justified.

Another paradox is that EGP, having a fundamental theoretical basis (no other direction in psychology has such a powerful philosophical and methodological basis!), fundamentally abandons rigid and unambiguous theoretical schemes of psychological analysis, abstract “structures” of the psyche , personality, from the study of endless “factors”, “systems”, “components”, etc., etc. The “new understanding of man” proposed by the existentialists is based on the fact that “man is no longer interpreted in terms of any theory - be it mechanistic, biological or psychological” (Binswanger, 1956, p. 144), but is considered in the “human dimension "

But this is only an apparent paradox - after all, it is a deep existential view of a person that inevitably leads to the recognition of the priority of the living reality of the inner world of a particular person, his subjective experience over any objectified “products” of theoretical analysis. And the deeper our understanding of “the human in man,” the clearer the understanding becomes that man is many times more complex than any of our theories and abstract reasoning about him.

However, the priority of subjectivity and the phenomenological orientation of the EGP does not lead to a devaluation of the “procedural”, methodological side of the work of a practical psychologist, but rather the opposite (which may also seem like a paradox) – it increases attention to work methods. It is not often that a concept includes such a variety of forms and methods of work and such a detailed and thorough analysis of them as the EGP.

In addition, methods are considered here not in a formal technological way, but as conditions and means for updating and maintaining “life-changing processes.” That is, the point is not in the methods and techniques themselves, but in the art of using them to get closer to that deep, existential level of communication with the client, at which only it is possible to provide him with full, effective assistance.

Finally, another paradox - perhaps the most important. On the one hand, although existentialism is quite well known and even fashionable (at the “verbal level”, so to speak), it is by no means a widespread approach and does not suffer from excessive popularity - both among clients and among psychologists and psychotherapists themselves. But, on the other hand, it is this approach that touches on the most important aspects of human life and is aimed at solving the most pressing problems of life. And if we agree that “we are all living beings and therefore, to a certain extent, we are all existentialists” (Bugental, Kleiner, 1993), then we must admit that the EGP is addressed to everyone, to each of us. And if we also take into account that the central problem of existential psychology is "man in crisis"
, then this approach, it would seem, should come in handy in today’s Russia, which is overflowing with crises in all respects. But so far (?!), alas, it hasn’t happened...

This paradox of incomplete demand apparently has many reasons;
for now I will limit myself to just one thing: the existential-humanistic view of a person is a deep, wise view, one might even say beautiful, but very difficult. And the complex, alas, cannot be mass-produced - the simple is in demand and popular. It must be admitted that psychology itself has done a lot to ensure that a simple and “easy-to-use” image of a person becomes widespread - the title of the famous book “Psychology Made Simple” (Falken, 1997) could be used as an epigraph to the works of many psychologists . However, even with simple (and especially simplified) representations, not everything is so simple. As D.A. Leontiev accurately noted, “simple explanations of complex phenomena... do not require a person to think, which is why they are so attractive. Their only drawback is that they have little to do with reality. Like parodies and scarves, they snatch one feature from the picture of reality and inflate it... and ignore the rest” (D.A. Leontyev, 1993, p. 6). Let’s not simplify and caricature the complex and dramatic reality of a person’s inner world. And in order to truly understand the way of comprehending this reality in direct deep communication proposed in the EGP, let’s start with revealing the existential-humanistic concept itself, its theoretical foundations. Then we will consider the existential concept of deep communication, after which it makes sense to move on to the description of the training seminar - only in this way, through the prism of understanding key ideas, conceptual provisions and theory, can the entire wealth of practical capabilities of the EGP be adequately understood and mastered.

Learning outcome

You have acquired knowledge of the basics of psychology, psychotherapy and psychodiagnostics, studied the existential approach to counseling, etc.

You can apply the acquired knowledge and skills in your work as a consultant psychologist or psychotherapist.

You receive a diploma from a Moscow university for completing a professional retraining course, which will significantly raise your professional level and provide an opportunity to start in a new profession.

Upon completion of training, the registration data of the issued documents is entered into the Federal Information System “Federal Register of Information on Educational Documents and (or) Qualifications, Training Documents.”

INTRODUCTION

WHAT IS THIS BOOK ABOUT?

(or, in more extreme cases - as a simplified psychology of communication), which, apparently, is also needed, but for a professional (and not only) is completely insufficient.