If your man is “an old soldier who does not know the words of love,” then you have definitely come to the right address today! Sympaty.net looks at ways to unfreeze your snowman and make the old soldier shed a stingy, manly tear! Oh, how many of ours died at the front of the fight against emotionally cold men! And where, I want to know, do so many snowmen come from at any time of the year? They do this and that, and already, excuse me, they want to smash their head against the wall, but he kisses you as if “for show” and sits down to read his smartphone or make a bird feeder. Craftsman. What to do? Let's find out!
What to do with an emotionless man?
Manifestations of emotional coldness:
- He never makes “unexpected bursts of tenderness.”
- He talks about his feelings... never! Or very rarely. He doesn’t say words of love, or he said them once and thought that repeating them was not masculine.
- In any situation he is calm like a tank. Even another, larger tank cannot throw him off balance.
- Joyful events always evoke the same emotions in him. So identical that it seems to you that a beautiful striptease, a promotion at work and the purchase of new shoes are events of the same order.
- Romantic surprises, romance – what are you talking about?
- He reacts with restraint to your “tides of tenderness”, to your inspired calls to enjoy life, go for an unexpected walk in the park or go somewhere for the weekend.
In general, if your man is truly emotionally cold, then you will feel it without reading magazine articles about how this manifests itself. A person usually feels a lack of emotions even better than physical pain.
With all this, it would also be useful to compare your temperaments. Perhaps your man is not emotionally cold, it’s just that your temperament is off the charts. It’s so great that even a hurricane next to you will be a light sea breeze.
Pros and cons of Nordic character
The positive qualities of the Nordic character include:
- the ability to withstand stress, the ability to concentrate in any situation in order to find a way out;
- developed logical thinking, which allows you to quickly analyze available data, based on experience, make assumptions and draw conclusions;
- determination, great willpower, which helps not to deviate from plans, despite obstacles;
- loyalty to beliefs and principles;
- prudence, which helps to put aside emotions and make an informed decision.
How to change yourself and your character for the better
Negative manifestations of the Nordic character:
- Coldness, which can actually turn out to be concentration. Because of this, it is impossible to understand what a person is thinking about, whether he is experiencing or not experiencing any emotions;
- Low communication skills associated with the desire to control events and meetings;
- Ignoring other opinions due to unshakable principles and self-confidence.
It seems that it is impossible to have a close relationship with such a person. He is cold, closed, unemotional. But this is only the outer shell - the ability to concentrate and restrain emotions. In fact, the Nordic person is an excellent conversationalist and a decent family man:
- Always listens carefully, without interrupting or turning attention to himself, delves into problems and immediately offers solutions;
- Has well-developed intuition and is observant;
- Does not provoke conflicts, does not stir up scandals. Always keeps himself in control, not allowing himself to be humiliated or insulted.
Important! The northern character forces one to adhere to high moral principles, loyalty to which is always maintained. But this does not prevent you from adapting to your chosen one, making concessions.
If a Nordic guy or man wants to maintain a relationship, he will easily succeed. It’s always good and calm to be around him; he gives you a feeling of protection and support. Most girls dream of such a life partner.
Reasons for emotional coldness in men
1. We all come from childhood! Remember this phrase? 90% of emotionally cold people, including men, are children of parents who did not give them love, did not kiss them, did not hug them, did not approve. So now he’s not...
And now this is not a reason to criticize or scold. Such problems - children's ones - are the hardest to solve, and, as a rule, a person needs the help of someone devoted to him. Now your emotionally cold, but dearly beloved man simply DOESN’T KNOW HOW to show his love - such a program has not been put into his head. He may not be aware that this NEEDS to be done, he does not feel it. It seems to him that his feelings are always on the surface.
2. Past grievances. Once upon a time, someone trampled on his open heart, and he decided that it was better not to open it yet. Otherwise they walk around, trample, and then you have to clean up after everyone...
3. In general, no one else came up with other reasons. Although, perhaps you should think about how, in fact, his love for you is manifested in general? Typically, an emotionally cold man is an action man. Yes, he won’t say words of love. But he will prove it in a way that no human fire can.
Try melting the ice yourself!
It often happens that such people are aware of their “peculiarity”, and in order to compensate for this, as well as in gratitude for the fact that someone loves him simply, and not for “words in response,” he makes gestures that others do not dreamed about it. These are the people who always keep their promises. Who know the value of real relationships, so they won’t betray or abandon you. If you ordered a “stone wall”, please sign for receipt!
If your emotionally cold man does not show his feelings, this does not mean that he never experiences them. Therefore, it's time to learn to feel your man.
And if your man does not show any emotions, but does not take any actions to show you his love, then maybe you should not call him an emotionally cold man and run towards him with matches, warm clothes and your fiery love? Maybe he just doesn't love you?
If you still
made the decision not to give up and fight, fight and win, then remember that there are 3 things that cannot be done under any circumstances!
What do we know about Kai
- He easily becomes attached to people.
Kai does not believe his happiness and the constancy of another person’s feelings, so he regularly tests his strength and every time he is happy with the result, but does not show emotions. At the same time, he is characterized by a sharp transition from “I want to be held in my arms” to upholding independence and independence. Express to him an even, calm, constant feeling, but sometimes take him in your arms, because he is “very mature and very small.” - Afraid of his feelings.
Kai is afraid to admit that he is “bad” and rejects the possibility of hatred. And in general he has an ambivalent attitude toward all strong feelings: he wants them and is afraid of them. - He has many small fears.
There are great fears - for example, dying and going crazy. Kai treats them quite calmly. He is afraid of being rejected, weak, unsuitable, so he constantly asks himself the question: “Am I strong or weak.” - It takes all the concepts apart and puts them back together in its own version
. Everything Kai touches should become “his” - as if he puts his mark or seal. - His bad condition
is
lack of will, motivation and energy.
Kai can't function when he doesn't have everything that usually helps him move forward. In this state, it will seem to the interlocutor that Kai’s gears are not rotating—in front of him is a smooth, inert log. - Shows polar feelings towards others.
There is no golden mean: it is either very high sensitivity, or woodenness and coldness, because of which he is not capable of basic attentiveness to the experiences of his interlocutor. - Rarely is he alone.
Most often, Kai can be found in company, and friendly and warm. He consciously looks for similar ones and creates them himself, but quickly loses contact with the participants.
What NOT to do with an emotionally cold man:
- Play the game “The Fool Himself”, and in other words, you don’t need to answer him with the same coin. Like, you are cold to me, and I will be the same to you. Look at yourself from the outside and come to your senses. No matter how it is. Everyone loves as best they can. He knows that you can do things differently, and after changing your behavior, he will not feel loved. Do you think that this will achieve anything other than ruining the relationship? It seems that in order to improve relationships, there should be more love in them, but not less! It's like putting a snowman in the refrigerator and waiting for it to thaw. Maybe it will thaw when someone else decides to turn off the electricity.
- Don't constantly tell him what an emotionally cold man you got and how much you don't like it. Don’t even touch this topic in your hearts, otherwise it happens that you want to say that he is an insensitive blockhead, thick-skinned and heartless!
- Don't pay much verbal attention to those rare moments when he does behave differently. He is guaranteed to feel uncomfortable. This refers to a situation from the series: he finally timidly and awkwardly told you that he loves you, and gave you a compliment, such that it’s just a compliment! And you answer him: “Well, finally you said something!” (heartless cudgel!) or “I already thought I wouldn’t get any tenderness from you!”, “Well, was it really difficult to say that?”
If he is a really emotionally cold man, then such words were not easy for him, better support him with your behavior, kiss him especially tenderly, tell him how happy such words make you, how gentle he is, etc. and so on. This way you approve of him, and he will definitely want to repeat this again sometime to get your approval. And if he feels discomfort, then he is unlikely to want to return to this state, unless he is a masochist. Not a masochist, are you?
Where did this temperament come from?
Character from a person’s handwriting - is it possible to determine its types?
Experts in the field of psychology have concluded that people with a Nordic character are associated with the Nordic race. It is common in Scandinavian countries:
- Denmark;
- Norway;
- Sweden.
Sometimes they include Iceland and Finland, which equates Scandinavia with the concept of Northern Europe.
The term “Nordic race” or “Northern race” appeared at the beginning of the 20th century. This group included tall and thin people with blond hair. They were distinguished by pale skin and delicate features. This description of the northern race was given by anthropologist Joseph Deniker, who was born in France, but is also engaged in scientific activities in Russia.
Scandinavian appearance
There was even a pseudoscientific theory of Nordism, based on the superiority of the northern race over the others. It was believed that civilization owes its development to representatives of this group of people. It was not confirmed, but served as a prerequisite for the development of racism.
What is better - a wide circle of communication or a cold approach
There are two forms of dating:
1. Cold approach.
2. Warm approach.
A “cold approach” is when you approach a complete stranger with whom you have no social connection and therefore no built-in social trust factor.
She may have already shown you signs of her interest or disinterest.
And perhaps she has already seen you before or is seeing you for the first time.
Be that as it may, you are faced with a difficult task - there is no one to introduce you to and the only way to meet her is to come up and say hello.
A “warm approach” is a meeting with a woman with whom there is already some kind of social connection.
This could be a girl who studies at your school, a classmate or an employee.
You can meet her at a party of mutual friends.
She might be at a nightclub and you know the same DJ.
You might meet her at a charity event or protest.
However, with a friendly approach, you already have a certain level of social trust due to common connections with other people.
What's easier?
Most men prefer a warm approach because it is less likely to be rejected.
Girls will behave more kindly, they will be afraid to offend you, you will be able to find a common topic for conversation much faster, with a minimum of effort.
But there is one important caveat here: you are severely limited by the reach of your social circle.
For example: when you meet new girls from your social circle, only one or two of them will attract your attention, and the remaining 15-20 will seem unattractive to you.
Maybe you're around models or actors, where all the girls are very bright and attractive, but they're not interested in guys like you.
Or maybe your social circle doesn’t include women at all and you don’t have the opportunity to meet anyone.
Every time I go out, I meet a huge number of attractive women.
In fact, there are not so many of them, because after many years of dating, I understand well which girls are interested in me and which are not.
But if I want to meet 20 attractive women in one day, I will meet 20 attractive women in one day.
Some will pay attention to me, others will refuse, but I will definitely meet someone and go on a date in the evening.
Of course, you can constantly expand your social circle, change parties, make new friends.
But all this takes a lot of time and energy, and still limits you to only a certain class of women - those who are in your circle.
If you are a promoter of a popular nightclub, you will definitely notice that you are surrounded by a variety of people who want easy access to your club, and you will have the opportunity to meet a variety of girls.
But they will all be from the same camp of avid party girls.
Or you can become the main organizer of large events, for example, exhibitions, but they also attract only a certain type of people: as a rule, lonely, bored young ladies between the ages of 20 and 40, who are moderately attractive and obsessed with their own development.
Of course, there are rare exceptions, but basically everything is very predictable.
And if you want to meet those women who are ideal for a serious relationship, beautiful, smart, with an excellent education, a good career and financial independence, you will not be able to meet them in any social circle, because they are too busy with their own lives, and They don’t want to waste a lot of time on empty communication.
Most guys don't consider themselves crazy party animals who keep friends with a lot of people just to have access to enough women.
And even if you go for it, the boundaries of your social circle will quickly become obvious.
One day you will realize that you sleep with many different girls, but cannot meet the one who could become your permanent girlfriend.
Or you will have a friend problem - you will sleep with girls, and then feel awkward, constantly running into them in the same company.
You will be stuck in this trap.
But the worst part is that when you see a beautiful stranger walking down the street and you feel like you could be the perfect couple, you won't be able to walk up to her and talk to her because you haven't had any experience meeting her on the street.
This is what cold approach skills are for.
Choice of profession
The Nordic character type predominates in people with high organizational abilities. They are always confident in their words, do not doubt that they are right, so everyone follows them.
Note! Among Nordic people there are many bosses, managers, and entrepreneurs. They do not shift responsibility to those around them, but independently look for options to achieve the goal. This quality commands respect; their subordinates value them and strive to be like them.
People with a Nordic character are assiduous and calm. They are focused on dealing with difficulties and can quickly find a solution by analyzing the available facts. Therefore, they feel comfortable in the position:
- rescuer;
- pilot;
- policeman;
- fireman
Quieter professions are also suitable, for example, driver, dispatcher.
Women will find themselves in the following specialties:
- doctor;
- nurse;
- investigator;
- head of preschool institutions;
- head teacher.
Nordic people are punctual and efficient. It is almost impossible to put them in a stupid situation; they are extremely calculating and enterprising. In fact, they can be realized in any area where excessive emotionality is not required. They are also far from acting professions, where they need to play and pretend.
Distinctive features
How to become a strong personality and develop character
Distinctive features of the Nordic character include integrity:
- A person cannot come to terms with rules and opinions different from his own;
- He has deeply held beliefs and follows them in everything.
He is demanding not only of himself, but also of those around him. Nordic people constantly work on themselves. They not only strive to gain new knowledge, but also monitor their physical fitness. They are always on alert and ready to withstand any test. Especially considering that Nordic people are thin, physical training is extremely necessary for them.
Physical exercise
Note! An innate sense of justice gives character toughness. They say about such people that they are ready to go over their heads in order to achieve their goal. Sometimes because of this they are considered ruthless. They do not see frames and boundaries, they always get to the core of the problem or issue.
A Nordic or cold character makes a person straightforward and honest, he:
- does not use hints;
- does not avoid answering;
- does not throw words to the wind, thinks about what is said, calculating the reaction of the interlocutor.
A person with a northern character never tries to offend his interlocutor, so he chooses his words. It is he who first thinks and then speaks. The gaze is always direct and open. This means that there is no reason to doubt his words.
The best women don't only date guys they know well.
I think this question bothers a lot of guys who have no experience with women.
Let's figure this out.
I've slept with a lot of women in my social circle, but I haven't dated any of them.
This is because I have not met girls in my social circle who correspond to my ideal.
I wanted to spend the years it took to build an elite social circle with high-level women, or perhaps there is some secret to accessing amazing women through a general social circle that I haven't stumbled upon yet.
But I do not think so.
Most likely, you will need an inordinate amount of patience for this, and I certainly don’t have it.
In my experience, in your average social circle there are only one or two amazing women at most, but in most social circles there are none at all.
Yes, you can meet cute girls, but they seem like they are generally more mediocre than their peers.
This is because wonderful women almost always:
- In relationships with guys, at least above average.
- Lonely because there aren't any great guys around that they want to date.
And single women don't limit themselves to their social circles for guys.
Most of them meet someone in passing, by chance, in a cafe or on the street.
Even if they have mutual acquaintances, they will be very distant ones.
They may belong to the same social club or networking organization, or they sometimes play pool together.
But most likely they meet on the street, in the subway, in a grocery store or shopping center.
Meanwhile, the guys from their close social circle shower them with their attention, but remain in the friend zone and “wait for their turn.”
The problem with meeting a woman through a common social circle is the limitation of choice.
Most of the amazing women you come across are usually already dating other guys.
You will have to fight for her, compete with your friend for her attention, win her away from the groom, and this is always difficult.
Or you will have to wait until they break up, but by that time she will no longer experience the sexual attraction to you that she had at the beginning of their acquaintance.
You will become her friend, a valuable but non-sexual person in her life.
She will find a new guy from among her casual acquaintances.
She's not interested in dating an old friend and doesn't want to risk your loyalty by introducing something unknown, like sex.
Meanwhile, you have no choice of beautiful girls who could become your lovers, since you are always near your platonic friend.
Of course, miracles sometimes happen.
From time to time, a girl starts dating a guy who has been patiently waiting, enduring, helping and supporting.
It's a good story, but very rare.
One day, the girl you've been patiently waiting for will go on a date with someone else.
Hooray.
She feels good.
But for you it's a disaster.
Of course, over time you will get lucky and you will meet a girl on the periphery of your social circle, she will not be exactly what you need, but damn, you don’t have many options and time to look for something better.
You enter into a relationship with her, thinking it's temporary until someone better comes along.
But you won't meet anyone better.
10 years later, you are already married, you have children, a common house and loans.
All my friends who do not pick-up, but meet women exclusively from their social circle, follow this path.
They are always unhappy with their choices and their lives, this can be seen on their faces.
They constantly ask themselves the same question: “What if...”
They would like to go out and find a more suitable girl, but they know they can't.
Look how long it took them to meet a girl who is “more or less normal.”
Starting over again means the risk of being left alone or agreeing to an option worse than now.
A social circle is a way to meet your friends, colleagues, and acquaintances.
This is normal and should be.
This lifestyle will help you achieve a “good enough” life.
I don’t know about you, but for me “good enough” was never a goal, I always wanted the best.
