Psychological questions to get to know a person: a list of questions and identifying true character

December 2, 2018
Psychological terms
Yulia Abdulbarova

Agree, this often happens: you have known a person all your life, but it turns out that you don’t know him at all. This is because most of us are not aware of the questions that need to be asked to a loved one or relative in order to get to know him better. But what are they? We will present popular psychological questions to get to know a person. They are simple and not deeply personal, but they will allow you to discover a completely new side of your loved one, and be surprised to find out how similar you are in some way.

What is your most vivid memory from childhood?

And this is the first psychological question to get to know a person. He will make both a young girl and a respectable veteran smile. For many of us, these are the warmest memories that we want to talk about with humor and a smile on our faces. About trips with the whole family, children's dreams, dashing adventures, children's companions, happy holidays.

Memories of childhood bring people closer together - you will understand how much you had in common then, even if you did not know each other at that time.

Thinking Provoking Questions 01-25

Are your goals and dreams written down?
Are you satisfied with your job?
Do you take your work home?
Are you concerned about your health and fitness?
If you could spend 10 minutes with anyone, living or dead, who would it be? Why?
If you had one year to live, what would you achieve in the next 12 months?
What did you do today to improve someone's life?
Can you say NO even if it makes you unpopular?
How much time do you spend on the Internet and social networks?
If you could get your wish, what would it be?
What is the source of your procrastination and procrastination?
When you think of your home, what immediately comes to mind?
How do you react when you meet a homeless person?
Do you keep your word and fulfill your obligations?
If your whole life was a movie, what title would be best?
Will you break the law to save your loved one?
Do you have your own personal mission?
How do you spend most of your free time? Why is that?
How often do you keep in touch with family and friends?
If you could start your life over again, what would you do differently?
What did you want to become when you were a child? Have you been able to achieve these dreams? If not, why not?
What's your favorite quote?
What do you spend the most money on?
What step can you take today to fulfill your deepest desire?
What did life teach you yesterday?

How did you meet...

With your husband or wife, your best friend or girlfriend, with one of your mutual friends. The narrative of an acquaintance that spans a person's entire life opens him up. And it allows him to relive the joyful emotions of years gone by.

This is a very useful psychological question to get to know a person. And above all - for the one who asks it. You get acquainted with real-life experience of how to maintain a friendship or relationship for many years, how to overcome quarrels and difficulties together.

What kind of music do you like?

If you need 10 questions to get to know a person, don't forget to include this one in your honor roll. Favorite music reflects a person’s character and temperament, speaks of his dreams and hopes. After all, what a person listens to resonates with his soul.

Therefore, musical preferences will tell you what your friend is like deep down. And they can often surprise you. Outwardly calm people sometimes prefer heavy rock music. Severe and unemotional people put love romances first. By sharing your musical preferences, you can tell a lot more about yourself than words can express.

Questions to get to know a person better

You've probably had situations when you wanted to get to know a person better, but didn't know what questions to ask him so as not to seem rude or incorrect. This ultimately led to awkwardness and missed opportunities. We've all been there: when we're interested in someone, it's not always clear how to break the ice. If you really want to get to know someone, you need to learn to ask the right questions. Regardless of whether it's a date or getting to know a work colleague, it's useful to have a few preparations ready.

Experienced communicators know that the right question at the right time can work wonders. It will help you start a conversation, get to know a person better, and achieve your goals. Asking questions is an important key to many effective communication techniques.

The questions collected below are quite powerful on their own. But how can you make the best use of this list? Here are some important tips that will help you not only start a conversation, but also successfully continue the conversation.

Adviсe

Don't ask one question after another . Let the conversation develop. Give your interlocutor enough time to answer the question. The point of the conversation is not how many questions you have time to ask.

Don't switch from one topic to another . Remind yourself that this is not an interview where you quickly switch between topics of conversation. Let the topic unfold naturally.

Show real interest . If you are truly interested in a given topic, your interlocutor will notice this.

Ask consistent questions . You can avoid moving on to other topics if you engage the other person with a question that flows smoothly from the other person's previous answer.

Emphasize . Don't talk about everything you know. The message you are trying to convey or the question you are trying to ask must be precise and concise.

Here are some good questions that will help you spark interesting conversations and allow you to form deep connections with those around you.

Questions

If you had a card that would get you out of court for a crime, what would it be?

This deep question will introduce you to the darker side of the other person. Interestingly, there is almost no person who will simply tell you that he will not use this card. When the interlocutor answers this question, there is an opportunity to talk about this topic for quite a long time. For example, why did he choose this particular crime?

What book or movie has influenced you the most?

Everyone has a book or movie that has significantly influenced them. By using this question you will get some very interesting insights into the personality of the person you are talking to. You will not only find out which genres he likes most, but also which work he distinguishes from the rest, which can already provide many topics for further conversation.

What would you give your life for?

Of course, you shouldn’t approach a stranger with this question, and certainly don’t ask it right away - he’s not particularly light-hearted. When using it, you should understand that you can either get a lot of interesting information about your interlocutor or alienate him by being branded an eccentric.

If you could be a character in a book or movie, what would it be?

This particular question will make your discussion partner think twice. And let's be honest, isn't it unpleasant to imagine that you could live in the imaginary world of your favorite book or movie?

At the same time, the answer to this question will tell you a lot about the personality of this person. In almost all cases, he will choose a character that is very similar to him - a person with whom he identifies.

If you could travel back in time, where would you go?

Admittedly, this is a very tricky question to ask whether a person has an interest in history. In this case, even a superficial answer can be developed.

If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be?

Talking about the past gets everyone hooked. Of course, there is a chance that the person will say that they wouldn’t want to change anything, but even in this case, you can use humor and ask something like: “What, would you even like to change your hairdresser?”

If you had a superpower, what would it be?

The question is not as stupid as it might seem. As a rule, people name such a superpower that they really lack in life. That is, the question has a very strong subtext.

The answer will help you draw a conclusion about the personality of the interlocutor. After all, is he going to use his power solely for selfish purposes, or is there something social in his desire?

Who was your hero growing up?

By asking this question you can learn a lot about a person's personality. Don't forget to ask a counter question about what his current hero is like.

What would you do during a zombie apocalypse?

There are people who would hide, and there are those who would fight. This simple question will help you move on to more informal communication and get to know your interlocutor. The chain of reasoning in this case can show how ready a person is for difficult non-standard tasks, how he thinks.

If you could live anywhere, what kind of place would it be?

There is a risk of running into banal answers (desert island, New York). But it is quite possible that you will receive a comprehensive answer. For example, you will understand that a person has wanted to move for a long time, but he can’t do it. This is an interesting topic for discussion.

Which comedy that you have watched do you think is the best?

Not only will this question help you get some good recommendations for your movie list, but it can also provide some great conversation starters and tell you whether or not the other person has a sense of humor.

Would you buy a one-way ticket to Mars?

Many people are interested in Mars and Musk today. Some say that all this is pointless, others argue that this is the most interesting and amazing adventure in the history of mankind.

If you had the chance, would you choose a different profession?

Asking a person where he works is boring. It is always much more interesting to talk about the topic “If…”. Half of the previous questions are based on this. People love speculation, especially about a better life.

Most likely, the person has a dream about a new profession, which he will talk about. And then you can ask other questions on the same topic.

What makes you truly happy?

Asking this question is a great way to make friends and other acquaintances. People usually talk about the little things first. They will tell you that listening to music or going out with their friends is what makes them happy. But once you start going deeper, you will find a lot of interesting things.

We wish you good luck!

We also recommend reading:

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The best blog content in 2021: psychology
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Rudyard Kipling's Questions
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How to be interesting and find contact with any person: advice from a practitioner
How to understand how a person feels
Black rhetoric. Part nine. About the types of questions
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Key words:1Profiling

What 5 things would you take to a desert island/space flight?

This is a question about a person that will make him think hard. The things to which we are most attached clearly characterize us. What a person chooses is most dear to him. Why? He must answer this question for himself.

What are the selected items? Are these material goods or things that hold dear memories? Are these objects of art or modern gadgets? As you can see, the question allows you to find out what exactly your interlocutor puts forward in the first place.

Which first teacher is more dear to you than others?

Experts consider this one of the important psychological issues. To get to know a person from the perspective of his attitude to knowledge and self-knowledge, ask him about his first teacher. After all, it is this teacher who instills a love of knowledge in general, helps to reveal the child’s creative potential and aspirations in the field of knowledge.

If a person has negative memories of his first teacher, this may also explain some of his real problems. Perhaps he is busy with something he doesn’t like because once upon a time he was not helped to decide on a field of activity that was more suitable for him than others.

What will be written on your tombstone?

Psychologists also give this question to a person in order to get to know him better. But remember that for many it is very personal and unacceptable, so it is worth asking it to those whose reaction will be adequate.

What will the answer give you? You will understand what a person strives for, what he wants to leave behind. What he wants to be remembered by his loved ones, what is his life’s work.

A few more philosophical questions to start an interesting conversation

What is the meaning of life for you?
What do you think will be your last memory?
How long do you think you will be remembered?
What's the most important thing you've done in your life?
How have you managed to change the world at least a little?
What is the most important quality for any person?
What should there be more of in the world?
What should there be less of in the world?
What do you think will be more valued in 50 years: science or art?
Why do you think art is important (or vice versa, useless)?
Do you think the influence of religions will increase or decrease?
What is happiness?
What do you consider more important and why: improving your own life, helping your family, or making the world a better place?
By what criteria should society be assessed?
Is the world changing for the better or for the worse? And why?
Do you have a motto or main life principle?
Are moral principles relative or absolute?
What from the past would be worth preserving?
How has society changed during your lifetime?
What do you think are the reasons for these changes?
What is better - to be a realist or an optimist?

“It’s always useful to have in your “arsenal” a set of important and interesting questions that can start an interesting dialogue. Such questions help you get to know others and yourself better and strengthen relationships with loved ones,” emphasizes Holly Richmond.

What radically changed your life?

This is not just a question to get to know the person better. This is a way to take communication to a new level of trust.

In everyone’s life, at least one situation has happened, because of which the attitude towards familiar things has changed, a person looked at his surroundings with different eyes. He began to cherish something with all his heart, but something forever lost its value for him.

Such revaluation is preceded by a lot of psychological and emotional work on oneself. And these are always very personal experiences. If your interlocutor shares them with you from the bottom of his heart, it means that he completely trusts you.

What do you do in your free time?

This question serves as an organic addition to the previous one. Creates a holistic picture of how your interlocutor organized his own life.

Interests, hobbies, favorite pastimes are great topics to get closer to your friend. More than likely, you'll find something you like equally as much. Hobbies tell a lot about a person’s character, his temperament, and preferred lifestyle.

What to ask your partner

How do you feel most often lately?
Do you think we're close enough?
Are you satisfied with everything about sex?
How could we make our relationship even better?
When do you feel especially loved/loved?
Is there something so important to you that you would risk your life for it?
How can I become a better partner?
What were you like as a child? And in adolescence?
When was the last time you felt lonely even though we were together?
What do you dream about?
At what moments do you think you and I are especially close?
Is there something bothering you that I could help with?
What is your idea of a truly great relationship?

What would you spend your big lottery winnings on?

Often we cannot realize our dreams just because it is financially difficult or practically impossible. This way you will find out where the money issue limits your friend.

Big money is also a serious test for each of us. Even if we manage them only in our thoughts. By telling what he would do with a big win, a person expresses his attitude towards money and reveals his true life goals. Would he quit his job or use the money to help those in need? Would you make your dream come true or put it off for the future? Or maybe your interlocutor would completely refuse a big win?

Do you have any favorite books? Which?

The love of reading itself tells a lot about a person. It is equally important what genres of books, what authors and literary heroes he likes. Why did he remember them, what was attractive in their words and thoughts? Why did this or that book become a reference book for this person?

When talking about their favorite books, people find something in common with each other, an inexhaustible topic for debate and reasoning.

A game that will help determine the true character of a person

Finding a common language with a stranger can be difficult. This is not due to a lack of communication skills. To determine a person’s character, it is recommended to use special psychology questions.

In addition, it is worth paying attention to an interesting game - try on the role of a super agent. At the same time, it is worth observing the stranger in order to compose his portrait for yourself. To do this, it is recommended to pay attention to details: what this person eats, what he wears, how he behaves in a given situation, how he communicates with colleagues.

It is worth paying attention to whether a person acts spontaneously or is used to analyzing everything, how he perceives the disadvantages of other people, where the boundaries of goodness end. The sincerity of the interlocutor is of no small importance - when he starts to lie, up to what amount of money he remains incorruptible. After a detailed analysis, it will be possible to draw conclusions about how a person will be able to act in a given situation and whether he can be trusted.

What is love to you?

A question to ask the person you like. After all, the basis of all quarrels and omissions between lovers is that people can understand love in completely different ways. For some, these are romantic feelings, for others - bright emotions, for others, the word is associated only with serious relationships and family ties.

You will learn how a person expresses his love, what he expects in return from his loved ones. Which makes him feel loved.

What's your ideal day? What is the most awkward moment in life? How old do you feel? What are your greatest strengths and weaknesses? What would you change as president? There is a whole sea of psychological questions to get to know a person better. Or rediscover a friend you've known for a long time.

Lifestyle questions

Now that you've gotten over the awkwardness of the first meeting, you can try asking them a little more about their lifestyle.

You can start with their hobbies and interests, moving on to more serious topics such as stress management and even finances.

What is your work/study schedule?
Do you smoke?
Can you cook?
What do you like best? Live in an apartment in the center or in your own house, but outside the city?
What do you usually eat for breakfast?
At what age did you buy your first car?
Do you participate in lotteries?
Have you ever thought about starting your own business?
…What type of business do you have in mind?
What do you like best? Stay at home or walk outside?
Sushi or pizza?
Dogs or cats?
Do you have a pet at home?
Do you like trips out of town and walks in nature?
Do you drink alcohol?
Have you ever invested in stocks or do you prefer to keep your savings in the bank?
What's the most expensive purchase you've made?
Do you love shopping online?
When was the last time you were hospitalized?
Are you a morning person or a night owl?
Do you like to buy branded items?
Have you ever been on a diet?
Do you like going to nightclubs/bars?
Do you like swimming/going to the beach?
Do you do any sports?