Gallant man: features, signs and interesting facts

September 20, 2018
Psychology of relationships
Sofia Chetverikova

When people hear that a man is said to be gallant with a woman, they can perceive it in two ways. Most people think that this is an undeniably positive quality. It adorns a man, even gives him additional advantages over others. But there are also those who consider gallantry not a very pleasant quality, but one of the character traits of a real henpecked man.

We hasten to inform you that gallantry is a very useful and necessary quality, but many do not understand its limits. The behavior of a gallant person differs from the behavior of a sycophant, but not all men are able to see this difference. What is the meaning of the word “gallant” for men? Some of the synonyms for gallantry are: refined politeness, courteous behavior, and a sense of tact.

What does "gallant man" mean?

For some, gallant behavior is one of the ways of seduction, for others it is good manners instilled from childhood. This phrase has a different meaning for each person. What good (or bad) does such behavior give us and why in our era gallant men are becoming a rarity?

Offering a hand when exiting a vehicle, opening the door for a girl, handing over a coat... It seems that there is nothing special here, and there are men who still perform these little rituals. Naturally, any woman will be pleased to feel respectful attitude towards her. Gallantry is very closely related to good manners, from this we can conclude that being gallant for a man is outdated behavior, since there is no necessary example in families and schools.

Of course, you can pay attention to the fact that gallantry is not always something natural, but rather a skill developed at a certain age when communicating with the female sex. However, now women will prefer sincere tenderness that comes from the heart than false politeness. Most likely, many women will agree that these two concepts could be divided into different areas of life. Tenderness and sincerity coupled with gallantry are more pleasant to receive from a loving man, but I would like to expect good manners and good manners from strangers.

How to become a gallant man? Let's see what qualities are attributed to him.

Why is acting gallantly the right thing to do?

The modern rhythm of life and human behavior have become sharply different from what people have been accustomed to seeing for a long time. In the post-Soviet space, this difference is felt especially sharply. It's rare to see gallantry on the part of a man these days. Has this quality gone out of fashion or is it still relevant?

Why show gallantry?

First of all, it is worth saying what this concept means. Gallantry originates from the Middle Ages, when it came to the knightly code of honor. This word, which has come down to us, means “refined politeness” in French. How often can one encounter manifestations of this quality?

Although gallantry often indicates good upbringing, some men in modern society do not use this attitude towards the opposite sex out of principles of honor. For many representatives of the stronger sex, acting gallantly means doing something with the aim of impressing or seducing a woman.

However, there are those who understand that behaving gallantly in the company of representatives of the fairer sex is a sign of one’s own dignity, good manners and nothing more. Unfortunately, the less common this quality is, manifested with the right message, the more often it is interpreted as flirting and inappropriate attention. What does gallantry look like?

What is this quality expressed in?

In a society where a woman sometimes strives to become more independent, a gallant person is not always the one she expects to see. This wonderful quality, which disappears over time from the life of society, is characterized by simple actions.

For example, when a woman comes down the steps, she should give her a hand.

Gallantry is also manifested in the fact that a man helps his companion put on her coat, lets her go forward, opening the door for her, and pulls up a chair when she is about to sit down.

Such simple actions, which were the norm for an educated society, today can be interpreted not as politeness, but as signs of attention to a person of the opposite sex. That is why such behavior is typical of young people who care for a girl. This means that displays of gallantry towards married ladies cannot always be correctly assessed by those around them.

Acting gallantly does not mean just being polite in your behavior. Sometimes this quality manifests itself towards a woman even before there is a need for any action. For example, when meeting someone, a gallant man should show his respect by saying the phrase “Nice to meet you” or “Nice to meet you.”

Also a manifestation of gallantry is the ability to conduct a conversation correctly. A woman may feel awkward in the company of a gentleman, so she should avoid topics that are completely unfamiliar to her.

Difficulties may arise with this, because most “male” conversations are not interesting to the fairer sex.

However, behaving at ease, a man remains gallant if he starts a conversation about something that is familiar to his companion.

In family

Although chivalry is a quality that is often used by a man to achieve certain goals, such as impressing a woman or winning her trust, it should not only be used in certain situations, to solve assigned problems.

Family psychologists unanimously assert that good manners indicate a spouse’s genuine respect for his chosen one. People who have been married for a long time no longer need to impress each other with anything, much less conquer each other.

But showing gallantry will make the relationship between the spouses stronger.

The reason that gallantry has become less common is not only the bad manners of men, but also the desire of women to become more independent. Many representatives of the fairer sex regarded signs of appropriate attention from gentlemen as evidence of condescension shown to weak and helpless individuals.

Modesty

A man’s gallantry towards women is manifested in the fact that he is always modest, courteous, and respectful of other people, their beliefs and opinions. There is no need to try to convince or argue with a person in front of everyone - he will hold the line until the last moment in front of strangers. It’s better not to behave straightforwardly and impudently; most likely, your significant other will feel awkward because of you.

Why show gallantry

It is worth remembering that proper upbringing is pleasant to all people nearby, and gallantry is not just a technique for seducing women, but a manner of behavior that manifests itself in a man throughout his life. The main reasons are as follows:

gallantry helps you become more successful and gain the respect of others. A man endowed with manners and good upbringing moves up the career ladder faster, makes strong friendships and a lasting love union;
a gallant gentleman attracts the attention of women who are pleased to be looked after. But don’t forget about sincerity, you need to keep a balance between restraint and real feelings;
a man who shows gallantry towards a woman is most likely to build a strong and long-term union. An atmosphere of respect, trust and calm will reign in the couple, when each partner will enjoy spending time together.

Chivalry is a dying concept, and many men mistakenly believe that by showing respect to a woman, they become henpecked. In fact, the more the chosen one feels that she is being treated with courtesy, the more she is ready to give herself to the man, trusting him and becoming more submissive.

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No nervousness

A gallant man needs to pay special attention to his hands during a conversation: there is no need to hide them in his pockets, wave them, or generally make any unnecessary movements. From the outside it looks like you are nervous, and when people are nervous, they are usually trying to deceive their interlocutor. Never show that you are bored with the conversation and do not be distracted from the conversation.

Recommendations for developing gallantry

I will present to your attention a few tips that will allow you to be more gallant today than yesterday. Just try to follow them.

Always be calm, no matter the circumstances. Quarrels and misunderstandings should be resolved calmly.
Never be late.
Your feelings with your girlfriend should not be a subject of public discussion. You are doing this only for yourself and for her. Don't make your relationship public.
Introduce your girlfriend to your friends and vice versa. Do not allow direct acquaintance.
Don't smoke in front of her. If there is a need, step aside when she is busy with something.
Do not discuss other people with your girlfriend, their personal lives, some bad deeds, etc. Gossip is evil, everyone understands that. If you are against it, the girl will support you.
Help her with weights. Even if it's a small package. Just don’t snatch a clutch or purse from her hands; this is one of the items that shapes her appearance, which should always be with her.
Don't interrupt the girl in conversation.
Try to listen more than talk. Don’t make allowances for modesty; most of the girls can be talked into.
Don't argue with her, it's rarely constructive. It is better to prefer a simple exchange of opinions to a dispute.
You should never swear in front of a girl, under any circumstances.

The advice is elementary; everyone can follow them, even if they have any shortcomings or deviations. If it’s difficult, cultivate gallantry in yourself gradually. You will definitely need it. If you want to learn even more secrets on seducing girls, subscribe to my VKontakte page.

No gossip

A gallant man will never discuss spicy situations, gossip, other people's personal lives and problems that are associated with anyone - this is low, even if your lady does not know these people. But telling funny stories that happened to you is a very good tactic. You are allowed to tell funny moments about your friends who have already gained wide publicity, where your friends show their good sides. The girl will be pleased to think that you have good friends, since they are a reflection of you. In quotes about gallant men you can often find the expression that gossip is alien to them. By the way, there are many quotes about gallantry.

Adrien Decourcel, a French writer and playwright, said this:

Gallantry is the coquetry of men.

No less interesting is the opinion of the British writer Sarah Waters:

Men gain chivalry like women gain wrinkles. My husband was very gallant. It's good that he doesn't see what I've become. His gallantry would be severely tested.

Transport

“If a man helps his wife out of the car, then he either has a new car or a new wife.” It shouldn't be like this common joke. The man gets out of the car first and helps the woman get out, and if they get into the car, then first of all he seats the lady, and then gets in himself. Friends usually ride in the front seat. If you don’t know the person at all or know him only mediocrely, then according to etiquette he should ride diagonally from the driver’s back.

Borders

What does a gallant man mean? There are several extremes, one of which is that you speak the language of the great-grandmothers of the Queen of England, cater to the girl’s every whim and shower her with handfuls of banal compliments. If this does not work, then the man may go to the other extreme, because halftones are very difficult for the male sex to understand.

What is the second extreme? Playing a complete scumbag and tough behavior. This is pointing out the girl’s shortcomings, boundless ignorance, nitpicking over little things - in a word, when with all their appearance they show that they don’t care about the girl at all. The girl will not tolerate this for a long time, so her instinct to “fix what is” is activated. And while the lady is trying to “fix” it, the man thinks that everything is fine, until the woman tries all the ways and is convinced that everything is useless. Therefore, in no case should you play the role of a gradually improving scumbag; this does not work with all women.

So what is gallantry? Attention to detail - you need to show more respect in small actions. Give a compliment, find something special in her appearance, let her go first when entering the room, be the first to enter the elevator, open the door for the girl. All this is easy to do, and your companion will be very happy with such courtesy and attentiveness on your part.

When a man begins to understand the meaning of gallantry and becomes attentive to detail, he gradually turns into a real professional in this field. And this is becoming a serious problem. He can turn into the most boring pedant, capable, for example, of getting to the bottom of absolutely every little detail in a restaurant. Girls don't like bores.

A gallant man is also a tolerant man. If you notice a flaw, it is better to remain silent. Don't scold yourself publicly if you forget something. Don't constantly worry about how you are misbehaving. The lady will notice this and will also worry, and this is not a very good turn of events, right?

How does this work with girls?

The vast majority of guys believe that you can simply buy a woman's heart.
Appearance, expensive gifts, parties, trips abroad or good sex. Actually, all this is loot, to one degree or another. But in reality everything turns out to be not so simple. To attract a lot of female attention, you don’t need to have millions in your account, a model appearance, a bunch of material resources, expensive toys, because you can surprise a girl without money. A guy with normal qualities, but who has not yet had time to acquire expensive accompanying material, feels uncomfortable next to a beautiful girl. He believes that he is not even worthy of her attention, not to mention sex, relationships, and so on. Consumer culture, that’s what it is. Let's at least gradually move away from it and appreciate what is truly valuable.

A guy who, with great pride and pain, uses his last money to feed a girl expensive dinners, drive a sports foreign car, and buy female attention in other ways, is doomed to failure. He thinks that all his efforts will just go down the drain. Such thoughts also make the girl nervous; she does not understand what the problem is. The result is just money down the drain, complete dissatisfaction with oneself, and an empty wallet. Is it normal? I believe that money should not be at the forefront. And gallantry is valued much more than material wealth.

I'll explain it simply. A girl will not tolerate a disdainful attitude towards herself just because the man has all the benefits of civilization

, and she came with everything ready. She will find herself a more modest, but respectful companion.

Not all girls agree to heaven in a temporary home with a loved one. Some enterprising representatives of the fairer sex want to meet a wealthy and generous gentleman who can solve all their financial problems: give gifts, give money for expensive things. In this case, young ladies will have to try hard to scam a man out of money.

Do you have a lot of money and think you can buy the whole world? You're wrong.