Society12/21/2014
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Being happy is not such a simple task, but rather a daily effort that is worth it. People who have nothing to complain about will never assert themselves at the expense of others, obsessively demand attention and ignore their own feelings.
They remember that life is short
Happy people understand that they have a fairly short period of time to live a full and amazing life. And this doesn’t scare them, but, on the contrary, makes them get out of bed every day to spend another day that they won’t have to regret later. In addition, people who feel happy calmly accept the fact that the unpredictable can happen tomorrow, both good and bad, so they try not to waste time on trifles.
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Becoming happy is easy. You just need to start doing it!
Real happiness is not empty dreams about some future events, victories, acquisitions, winnings. Happiness is a different category - the highest, spiritual, therefore it is impossible to become happy (https://allatra.tv/video/zhizn) by wanting something material. It is important to learn to be happy just like that, relying on internal spiritual values - love, kindness, mutual assistance, joy, care.
Yes, at first, in order to become happier, you will have to learn. Moreover, in the literal sense of the word. Learn how to play the guitar or draw. After all, at first, when you sit down at an instrument for the first time or take paints in your hands, nothing happens. But gradually, step by step, it starts to get better and better.
It’s the same with happiness – the habit of being happy is developed gradually.
People are not born happy, they are made happy. About how to become happy, what is needed for this, and what interferes with a person’s path to finding happiness, see the ALLATRA TV program “Freedom from the dictatorship of the beast inside you,” which can be found on YouTube.
They spend money wisely
Despite the fact that, as a rule, money is opposed to happiness, claiming that it has nothing to do with it, a happy person still remains moderately thrifty (but not stingy!) He understands the value of earned money and knows that it is necessary to have a couple of nest eggs so as not to accidentally find yourself in a difficult situation, breaking an ankle, for example, and do not waste money on unnecessary things. This is what financial freedom is all about: understanding that money can’t buy happiness and not trying to do so.
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The following signs indicate that you are truly a happy person.
Do you want to share your happiness with others?
You are a happy person if you want to make others happy when you yourself are happy.
For example, when someone does something nice for you or gives you a compliment, you are willing to share this joy with others or make someone else happier.
Research has shown that being kind to others can greatly increase your overall happiness.
You don't get upset over little things
Missed the train? Spilled coffee on yourself? Just think, these are small things. If you can focus on what really matters and not pay attention to minor problems, you are a happy person.
People who ignore the small everyday hassles and focus on the joyful moments tend to be happier in life.
You are a happy person if you do not deny that there are ups and downs in life, but by paying attention to what goes well, you set yourself up for success and to easily overcome difficulties if any arise.
You really appreciate the little things
You are a happy person if you take pleasure in enjoying the simple pleasures in life , and they are usually associated with our feelings. Little things like that, when your favorite song comes on the radio or you go outside and you feel good just because the sun is shining and the birds are singing.
In fact, it’s these little things that make up a happy life, and you understand this.
Research has shown that gratitude is an important part of a happy life, and if you are grateful for the little things that make you smile, then this is a sure sign that you are on the right path.
You know how to enjoy other people's successes
When you are happy, you not only enjoy your achievements, but you also enjoy the successes of others. You know that celebrating other people's victories connects you with other people.
Expressing genuine joy for other people can increase your own happiness.
By expressing sincere congratulations and celebrating other people's victories, you create a space where others will want to celebrate your successes.
You appreciate every moment of your life
Happy people know that living in the here and now is the key to happiness. Living in the present moment also increases our joy exponentially.
After developing an app that measures happiness in real time, happiness researcher Matt Killingsworth discovered that most people are happy when they focus on the present moment.
“People tend to get distracted from the present,” Killingsworth said. “Perhaps to be happy we need to remain fully focused on our experience in the present moment...as it turns out, people are significantly less happy when their minds wander.”
You are a happy person if you have a healthy relationship (and not only with your significant other)
Physical and emotional intimacy are important factors when it comes to maintaining your overall level of happiness. As a happy person, you know that people—not things—are the true keys to a happy life.
Additionally, social circles and travel can help increase your joy exponentially, especially as you get older.
According to a study published by the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, your social environment has a positive effect on your psychological well-being.
By maintaining healthy relationships with friends and colleagues, you contribute greatly to overall happiness.
Do you know how to calm down when something upsets you?
Lack of stress is a sure sign of a happy person. If you have been able to find methods to relieve tension and stress that work for you, then most likely you are truly happy.
As Heidi Hanna, a fellow at the American Institute of Stress and author of Stressaholic, points out, it's important to have a few techniques in your arsenal to deal with everyday stress.
“At the first sign of stress, it is important to immediately resort to one of the methods you have tested, this will allow your mind to remain more flexible and not overwhelm you with various thought forms that everything is bad and there is no way out. Mindful breathing and meditation will allow you to stay positive and practice things like gratitude, because when we are grateful our minds are inherently more open to noticing the good things around us.”
Exercising or dancing can also help reduce anxiety and increase your happiness.
Whatever your method, it should be right for you, available for use at the right time. You control your emotions and feelings.
You don't compare yourself to others
Each person is unique and happy people know about their uniqueness and feel it. They don't try to be like someone else, they understand that there will always be someone better, prettier, smarter and the only person they compare themselves to is their past self.
You understand that money does not determine happiness
Happy people know that money has no effect on happiness—in fact, there have been cases where too much wealth has had just the opposite effect.
Scientists believe that people who strive for material goods more than the emotional component of happiness tend to be less satisfied and express fewer positive emotions.
Instead of chasing the latest gadget, you strive for something bigger (like self-development) that has a positive impact on your life and makes a significant contribution to your happiness.
You are not self-righteous
Happy people do not analyze their problems and do not dwell on failures.
They take everything with ease. This doesn't mean it lightly, they just know how to shift their attention to something more productive.
You tend to think that the “glass is half full” than vice versa
If troubles occur, you view them from the perspective of an optimist. Accepting life by being a realistic optimist brings great success and makes us happy.
In addition, optimists have healthier hearts and stronger immune systems. If you look at everything positively, even when things don't go as planned, you are generally truly happy with life.
You are a lucky person if you have a sister
Even if you don't think that your little sister is the key to your happiness, or your big sister helps you stay optimistic, it's a scientific fact.
Research conducted by the University of Ulster confirms this.
The 2011 results showed that having at least one sister helps both men and women communicate more effectively and maintain a positive and happy state of mind.
You easily make new acquaintances
People like to surround themselves with people who make them feel good, so people are easily attracted to you.
A study published by the British Medical Journal found that people prefer to associate with people who are happy because such people increase their own level of happiness.
Researchers have found that hanging out with happy people cuts your risk of developing depression in half.
You've achieved a lot (and you're not stopping there)
If you are truly happy, then most likely you have achieved the goals you have set for yourself, and you are not stopping there.
A 2011 study published by the journal Consumer Research found that those who are committed to achieving higher goals tend to be more satisfied with their lives and happier. And this makes sense.
Setting goals and achieving them increases your self-esteem. Achieving goals allows us to feel at the top of happiness .
Shawn Achor: How can happiness help us do better work?
You know how to take care of yourself
Happy people are willing to give and care for others, but they also understand that the most valuable person in their life is themselves.
They know how to take care of themselves and do not allow their energy to become depleted. They easily set boundaries and the right priorities when it comes to their own emotional/mental/physical/spiritual health.
You are a smiling person and are happy to give smiles to others.
Do you like to smile? Scientists from DePauw University have discovered a correlation between how smiling a person is in photographs and how strong his or her marriage is.
They explain this by saying that people who smile in their photographs have a more positive attitude towards life in general and stronger relationships with other people.
In addition, those who have a positive emotional outlook and strong social support tend to be more successful in life .
You have a wonderful healthy sleep
You may not think that the quality of your sleep affects your happiness, but in fact, sound sleep is a clear sign that you are happy.
Researchers from Cornell University found in 2013 that good sleep is directly linked to happiness.
100 people took part in the experiment Scientists have found that optimists who cope with stress easily and are in emotional balance do not suffer from insomnia, unlike those who are not happy and cannot cope with stress during the day.
You allow yourself to just be yourself
You allow yourself to be who you want to be. Laugh when you want, work where you like, dance as you want, communicate with those who are pleasant to you.
You allow yourself to make mistakes, not to be perfect, you just be yourself and do what you, and not society, your mother or colleagues, consider “right.”
You know how to draw conclusions and learn from your mistakes
When something is not going the way you would like, your mood is at zero, you feel “off”, it’s time to change something.
If you eat something that makes you feel bad, why eat it? Does a glass of wine at night and a slice of pizza make you miserable in the morning? Just make a decision and stop overeating.
If you feel stuck, go in for sports , go to the park, get some fresh air.
If you feel anxious or stressed, good sleep, meditation and a hot bath will help.
You are a happy person if your happiness does not depend on other people
Support is an important part of a relationship. When we feel bad, there is nothing better than the support of a loved one. However, happy people understand that happiness does not depend on another person's attitude or behavior towards them.
They do not try to fill the void with relationships, nor do they take on the responsibility of becoming a source of happiness for another. People come and go from our lives, but true happiness always remains with us, since it is located, first of all, within ourselves.
They listen to their own feelings
Happy people are not born, but become influenced by many factors. Happiness, like love, friendship and self-realization, is one of those things that people work on every day. This work begins with a dialogue with oneself: a happy person listens to his feelings and emotions and makes contact with them. He does not suppress them and does not bury them in the depths of the subconscious, knowing that reasonable decisions alone will not lead to a happy life, and seeks a balance between feelings and reason, giving words to both sides.
Does not focus on material wealth
Wealth and material security today are often identified with the concept of happiness. However, in fact, the saying “Money can’t buy happiness” is one of the greatest truths that not everyone can understand.
Wealth does not make a person happy. It satisfies human needs, and even then only for a short time. That is why a happy person does not strive to acquire all the riches of the world and surround himself with an abundance of status things.
Material wealth for him is only one of many components of life, and much less important than friendships and the love of loved ones.
They manage their own lives
It is almost impossible to offend a happy person because he does not allow his opponent or ill-wisher to control his mood so easily. He does not complain about external circumstances and does not allow them to destroy his personal inner world order. He also listens to family, friends and authorities, but makes important decisions on his own: it is he who lives in marriage with the partner he chooses, and it is he who makes money in the field that he likes, and not the grandmother who dreamed of a grandson-surveyor, and not to friends, for whom the choice of a happy person is not always clear. It's his choice because it's his life.
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Reproduce at any cost
Imagine that you are a beautiful young woman about forty. Since childhood, you dreamed of becoming an astronaut and made great efforts to get the desired position. Now you are married, periodically fly to the ISS, and children have never been part of your family plans. But everyone around, from your parents to Aunt Valya from the next door, sincerely pities you, because children are happiness and the true purpose of a woman, and not some kind of space.
Now think about it - if you were a man, would those around you sympathize with you because of the lack of children or would they congratulate you on another successful flight?
Writer and journalist Kristen Reiter giving a Ted Talk. Topic: “I don’t want children and I won’t change my mind.”
Statements that only children can give meaning to life are more than far-fetched. Firstly, not all women and men dream of becoming parents, secondly, the presence of genital organs does not oblige any of us to anything, and thirdly, and this is perhaps the most important thing, forcing a person to reproduce is violence .
In fact, preconceptions about what women and men “should” do are ingrained in our heads. Thus, a 2021 BBC experiment showed that it is adults, not children, who decide who will play with what toys and what color clothes to wear.
During the experiment, two-year-old boys were dressed in pink and girls were dressed in blue. The researchers then asked the subjects, who were unaware of the experiment, to play with the children. It turned out that absolutely all the participants in the experiment gave the children in pink dolls, and the children in blue - robots and cars. Although the children liked all the toys equally. Draw conclusions.
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They take responsibility for their actions
Those who are happy and satisfied with what happens to them are responsible for themselves. They, just like other people, make mistakes, do not find the strength to make important decisions, are lazy, miss opportunities and rashly throw out the wrong words that help resolve conflicts. Unlike everyone else, a person who is satisfied with everything in his own life and in himself is ready to take responsibility for his mistakes. He apologizes, fixes what is broken, or, if necessary, starts from scratch, admitting his mistakes.
Can everyone make their life happier?
Everyone can do it, but not everyone wants it. It's all about the dual nature of man. On the one hand, each of us is an angel, with all the qualities inherent in angelic nature - kindness, love, happiness, care, sympathy, (https://allatra.tv/video/soznanie-i-lichnost) and on the other hand, a devil, with his grievances, anger, hatred, irritation, condemnation, boasting, etc.
An angel is a Personality, the one who a person is in his true essence. The Angel feels everything alive that responds inside and it is the Angel who is capable of being happy and strives for this state. While the devil, of which consciousness and all its thoughts, images and obsessive desires are a part of us, takes away this happiness from us.
Well, please tell me, when can a person be happy if he is constantly busy solving some problems? Either he is afraid of getting sick, then someone stepped on his foot on the tram, then a parking space was taken, then prices were raised, then his girlfriend bought a fur coat...
He has no time to be happy! After all, happiness is peace, quiet inner joy, it is a feeling, and not a pursuit of something. But only the Personality can experience feelings - the angelic part that controls the most important tool - attention. And in order to feel happy, you just need to choose this state within yourself, invest attention in it.
There is such a funny joke on this topic:
“A man is on the bus to work. He stands, so gloomy, and thinks: “Life is crap, the wife is a bitch, people are selfish bastards...” An angel stands behind him with a notepad and writes down: “Life is crap, the wife is a bitch, people are bastards... How strange, the same thing again. Well, it doesn’t matter: if he orders it, he must fulfill it.”
If we constantly put our attention on negativity, bad thoughts, fears, hatred, and so on, then how can we feel happy?! The first, and most important thing you need to learn to do in order to become happier is not to pay attention to the negativity in your head, no matter what the arguments are for thinking these difficult thoughts.
They don't hang out with losers
Losers are not those whose careers or personal relationships suddenly no longer work out; a loser is a way of thinking. People who always complain drag those around them down to the bottom of their emotional lives. Happy people are ready to support their friends in trouble, help them out and give advice, but among their friends there are none who are inactively frozen in eternal despondency. The vital energy of people who value themselves and everything that happens to them is not wasted on the endless role of a vest; moreover, they attract equally strong and happy people to themselves, carefully bypassing those who cannot cope with the hurricane of troubles.
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Let me summarize how people become happy
First of all, I will note that not all of the above points take place in my life. There are some things I still have to work on. Sometimes I myself review such articles when I am not happy with everything in life. And every time I find an interesting solution or something new.
To briefly describe the path to a happy life, or at least to the one that Nastya and I managed to achieve, I will highlight important points and steps:
- Stop whining and complaining about life.
- Let go of grudges, envy, jealousy
- Stop following other people's opinions and stop taking them to heart
- Make a plan for simple, accessible changes and start following it
- When you get up in the morning, remember your decision to be happy
- Pour a mug of tea, buy a plane ticket and fly away on vacation
- Stop listening to other people's advice and start living with your own mind
Happiness and success in life.
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They love to be with people and love to be alone
Being surrounded by like-minded people and friends is pleasant and necessary. A company with which you can not only have a fun Friday, but also discuss really serious things, helps you not to fall into despair in difficult life moments, but you can’t build a happy life on this alone. People who are satisfied with themselves are ready to spend time alone, finding their charms in it. Solitude is both a form of relaxation and an opportunity to look at things in a new way. A person who is bored with himself can hardly be called satisfied with everything that happens in the world around him and in his own soul.
Has a purpose in life
A person cannot be happy living his life aimlessly, and therefore a happy person must have life guidelines.
Moreover, the goals can be very different: to travel to all countries of the world, to help the disadvantaged, to create a cure for a deadly disease, to become a world champion, or to build a house for your family.
Those who set goals for themselves and strive with all their might to achieve them have much more reasons for joy than those who float weakly with the flow. Such people can undoubtedly be called happy.
They love themselves
A happy person will never hate himself. He understands perfectly well that there is no such thing as a perfect body and a perfect mind, and he is aware that he cannot avoid all mistakes. Strong and contented people do not delve into the past, looking at the night ceiling, and do not look for reasons to again experience burning shame for the events of five years ago that went according to a bad scenario. They simply have no time to waste energy on it.
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Doesn't envy anyone
A happy person simply does not know what envy is; he knows how to rejoice in victories and the unexpected happiness of other people.
Moreover, he does this not feignedly, but quite sincerely, feeling satisfaction that someone felt good. This constant quality of a happy person helps a lot in life, protecting against nervous disorders and thereby prolonging life. Moreover, life shows that a non-envious person is always rewarded for his sincerity and selflessness.