Tanya Room
Co-founder of the engineering and manufacturing company Can Touch and, which creates children's prosthetics on a 3D printer. Facebook profile.
Let me tell you right away: there is no easy way to achieve full awareness. This is a long journey full of overcoming difficulties. But, if you realize that you don’t like living on autopilot and half asleep, this can be changed by increasing your level of awareness. You have already answered the question “Why?”, I will answer the question “How?” briefly, without water and esotericism.
Square
I suggest starting with this exercise. Do it right now. It will help you understand where you are at the current moment in the context of your entire life.
Draw a square and divide it into 100 parts. Color the top squares according to the number of years you have lived. From below, fill in the squares from 70 to 100. In Russia, these years are called the age of survival; I propose to consider them a time of comprehension and contemplation.
Here's my square.
What remains unpainted is your upcoming life, the remaining active years. How does it feel? What thoughts did it inspire? What feelings did it evoke? The questions are not rhetorical. Answer them to yourself, ideally write down the answers.
What is mindfulness
How to practice mindfulness Photo: Potpourri Publishing
We humans tend to complicate everything and make mountains out of molehills. Mindfulness has become big business and we spend a lot of money teaching us how to be mindful. We buy mobile apps, integrate them into our smartwatches, monitor distractions, and look for ways to optimize our practices so that we spend as little time on them as possible, but get as much benefit as possible. We've industrialized mindfulness, and it's now considered a cool thing that you should spend time or money on, or preferably both, every day.
But awareness cannot be gained from the outside. The right combination of apps, courses, and books will not deliver mindful living straight to your door. No one can live consciously for you. And while there are certainly strategies and techniques that can be learned, they are completely useless if they are not applied. You have to practice mindfulness yourself.
The great news is that you don't need five extra minutes to do this. And even one minute. Living consciously does not require spending time or money. True, there is one condition, but I think you can do it: you just need to be careful.
It's easy and difficult at the same time. Living consciously means paying attention to everything that happens to you and around you. Noticing things - huge and tiny, wonderful and funny. Focus on what you feel, see, hear and sense. State your emotions and responses. And you can do this anytime, anywhere.
Do you make coffee? Pay attention to the sounds and smells you hear. On your breathing and how the air moves through your nose and out again. Feel the floor under your feet and listen to the sound of hot water filling the cup.
Standing in line at the store? Take a break from your phone and pay attention to reality. How are your shoulders? Slouched? Spread them out. How are you feeling now? What about the people around you? What are they doing: chatting, ignoring each other, smiling, looking into each other's eyes? What about the workers who serve you? Did you say hello to them? How did they react: not at all or surprised?
Are you traveling by train? Turn on some beautiful music and sit with your eyes closed, feeling the smooth rocking of the carriage carrying you. Listen to the music, really listen – the words, the melody, the changes in tempo. What feelings do you have? What memories are being awakened?
In all these cases, nothing is required from you except attention. In addition to the choice in favor of observation. And this, dear reader, is awareness.
Of course, there are many other ways to bring mindfulness into your daily life, but simple observation was the starting point for me on this journey and fundamentally changed the way I look at the world.
If you don't know where to start, start with observation, exploration, learning and wonder - and then the most ordinary things can seem like a miracle.
But mindfulness can also be a separate practice - something that allows you to simply disconnect from worries and worries, feel peace and joy, immerse yourself in your feelings or enjoy the process.
Dear Diary
Keep a diary. Describe the events of the day and the feelings and emotions that arose. Do not criticize what is written, do not evaluate it, do not choose words - let it be written as it is written. Be honest, no one will read this.
To make it easier to get started, answer the following questions every day:
- What good happened today?
- How did I feel about this?
- Why am I doing well today?
- Who do I want to thank?
- The main conclusion of the day.
Complete the list.
Mindfulness practice
How to Practice Mindfulness Photo: Depositphotos
Mindfulness may simply be the art of observation, but it is also:
- Creation;
- Outings into nature;
- Growing plants;
- Doing nothing;
- Yoga practice;
- Movement;
- Deep breathing;
- Perception of your feelings;
- Walking in silence;
- Discovering something you hadn't noticed before;
- Physical exercise;
- Contact with beauty;
- Attentive attitude towards others;
- Smile;
- Laughter;
- Immersion in music;
- Showing kindness;
- Meditation.
Despite this, many still consider mindfulness to be something super difficult that they don’t have the time or ability to do. In fact, this quality can manifest itself in the most ordinary things that you may already be doing. Mindfulness is:
Creation
Drawing, sculpting, writing poetry or prose, cooking, knitting, sewing - all these activities can be a manifestation of mindfulness. The creative process brings us into the present moment, allowing us to leave behind worries about the past and worries about the future. Creation - as opposed to consumption - is a wonderful manifestation of mindfulness.
Outdoor excursions
A healthy, fulfilling life begins in the fresh air. By connecting with nature, we become part of something larger, we learn to love and appreciate the world around us, and therefore, take care of the planet we call home.
Even just going out and sitting in the sun, watching the clouds, or feeling the cool breeze on a hot day is also about connecting with nature and the present moment. Try leaning against a tree (or hugging it!); wander somewhere aimlessly; eating lunch in the park, taking off your shoes and feeling the grass under your feet; walk in the rain and splash through puddles; listen to the birds singing and the bees buzzing.
Growing plants
This is a wonderful mindfulness practice that doesn't require a garden bed or even a balcony - just a pot in the sun, some seeds, water and care. Pay attention to how the sprouts hatch, how the first two leaves appear on them, how these leaves become more and more numerous, how the stem grows stronger and gains height. Pay attention to how the plant reacts to water, light and fertilizer. And if you grow something edible like greens or tomatoes, it's also a delicious mindfulness practice.
Doing nothing
Resist the temptation to connect to your phone and just be. Sit in silence and listen to your thoughts, become aware of your feelings and acknowledge the urge to break this idleness with action. Learn to wait out this impulse - this is how you learn to cope with your desires without doing anything. It is not necessary to immediately satisfy your whims, because often such impulses and desires pass on their own.
Yoga practice
My yoga instructor likes to say, “Let go of all unnecessary thoughts and feelings.” And while I believe that sometimes negative thoughts and feelings play an important role, I also think that we carry them around for too long.
The ability to let go and be present in the here and now is an incredibly useful skill that I learned through yoga, and which has contributed to so many changes - physical, mental and emotional.
Movement
Stretching, dancing, rock climbing, walking, skiing, surfing can all be wonderful mindfulness practices. Immersion in the process and feeling everything that happens to our body allows us to be fully present in the present and live every moment.
Deep breathing
Take ten deep breaths in and out through your belly, becoming aware of the air moving through your nose and throat into your lungs and back again. Focus on how your lungs and belly expand and deflate, and count slowly and steadily. This is one of the simplest forms of mindfulness, accessible to everyone, at any time.
Pause in the bathroom for 30 seconds to take a few deep breaths, or stay in your car for a minute to connect with your breath. There are always “windows” throughout the day, and the good news is that even the smallest of them can have a positive effect.
How to Practice Mindfulness Photo: Depositphotos
Perception of your feelings
What do you see now? Perhaps it is a computer or a room. Take a closer look. What else can you see? Dust deposits? Sunlight? Plants or trees outside the window? Reflection of a light bulb on the monitor? What else?
What can you hear? How do people talk, how does a computer work, how do the children play in the next room, how does your dog snore? Maybe someone is mowing the lawn or printing documents. Can you hear your breath? The beat of your heart? Is it fast or slow?
What can you feel? The seat is under your butt? Is it soft or hard? The ground under your feet, the coolness of the air conditioner, the taste of coffee in your mouth? Do you feel tension in your shoulders? What about the face? Is it tense or relaxed? Are your jaws clenched or relaxed?
What smells do you smell? Fresh air? Coffee? Perfume? Detergents?
What taste do you taste? Tea? Maybe you're still having lunch? Then explore further. What does your food taste like: sweet, bitter, salty, sour?
By exploring your feelings and sensations, you are completely transported into the present moment and, at least for a few minutes, throw all worries, anxieties and worries out of your head. You create a buffer zone for yourself.
Walking in Silence
Modern life is a constant tension, and the opportunity to let go of thoughts rather than be loaded with new ones is very rare. Walking in silence, without music, podcasts or audiobooks, allows our anxious minds to calm down. It is in these moments of silence that I often have insights, and the thoughts that were randomly swarming in my head come to at least some kind of order, gradually becoming obsolete as unnecessary.
Discovering something you hadn't noticed before
What is happening around you that you haven't noticed before? This is an invitation to look at the world a little more closely, to pay a little more attention to it and to remove the glasses of monotony that everyday routine puts on us. What can you see? The light falling on your coffee table, the pattern of the carpet in the doctor's waiting room, your fingerprints or maybe the grooved bark of a tree? By switching to observation mode, we are instantly transported to the present moment. It's simple.
Physical exercise
Use physical exercise (weight lifting, cycling, pull-ups, squats) as a mindfulness practice, simply focusing on how you feel.
Paying attention to what is happening in your body means being aware, being here and now.
Contact with beauty
To study a work of art, read a poem, or listen to beautiful music is to focus on it and think about how it was created, in what way or from what materials, how much art and craftsmanship the authors put into it, and what motivated them. Art is created to evoke feelings and emotions, and spending some time alone with these feelings and emotions is an amazing way to immerse yourself in the world of beauty and experience the present moment.
Considerate attitude towards others
Stop and notice the unusual color of their eyes; at how funny they cover their mouths with their hands when they laugh; the tone of their voice or the hair flowing from their shoulders. Try to put your phone aside and focus not only on what they are saying, but how they are saying it. By doing so, you imprint yourself more deeply in people’s memories and dedicate yourself entirely to communication.
Laughter
Real laughter to the point of colic is catharsis, therapy, emotional release. Find things that make you laugh (podcasts, TV shows, comedies, books) and spend some time forgetting about everything you do and worry about. Life shouldn't be too serious. Work on your laugh lines.
Immersion in music
Good music can move you to tears. Find one you like and listen to it. Dance to it, sing, sway, cry, have fun. Focus on what you hear: the words, the changes in tempo, the different instruments and how they fit together harmoniously.
Showing Kindness
Think about ways you can show kindness right now: making a cup of tea for your partner or sending a message to a friend to simply let them know you love them. Regular, even small acts of kindness help us be more human and realize the amazing power of kindness.
Smile
A smile costs absolutely nothing. Smile at people and don't worry about their reaction. Someone will be surprised, someone will suspect something is wrong, someone will smile back, and someone will frown angrily. This is fine.
Meditation
Explore different types of meditation (self-guided, guided, loving-kindness, sleep meditation, etc.) and see what suits you best. There are now tons of great podcasts, mobile apps, courses, and classes to help you master this practice. Meditation allows you to achieve peace and self-reflection, not to mention improved well-being, performance and mental health in general.
Red cars
On the way somewhere, you can carefully study the objects around you. How to develop awareness? Start counting red cars. First, think about how many of them you see every day. And then check if the real count matches your fictitious count. You can count not only red, but also green, blue, white and other cars. If you are walking in the park, try focusing your attention on men with beards. How many representatives of the stronger sex have a beard? You can compile your own statistics. Count all men with beards, as well as those members of the stronger sex who do not wear beards. You can pay attention to people and their clothes. How many people around you want to wear white coats? How many people walk down the street wearing high-heeled shoes? How will tasks like this help you in life? When meeting a stranger, you will be able to immediately notice all the details. You will remember what car the person arrived in, what she was wearing, what gestures the person made and how friendly the person was. And all these observations will take you a matter of seconds if you practice conscious observation of people for a long time.
Listen to the other person
Each person should pay special attention to the development of awareness. How to develop awareness? You need to learn to listen to people. Have you noticed that some individuals do not understand you? What is this connected with? Most of the time people don't listen to each other. The dialogue goes like this. One person says something, and the other, instead of listening to the interlocutor, is already beginning to form a phrase for an answer. And it turns out that the person still doesn’t know exactly what the opponent will say, but the universal answer is ready. We need to stop conducting dialogue like this. Listen carefully to the words of your interlocutor. Try to understand his thoughts and do not think about the answer before you find out the person’s opinion on the subject of the conversation. This way you will be able to understand people better. Don't be afraid to seem like a slow person. You will generate the desired answer in 2 seconds. Such a pause will not hurt the ears.
Spin the dialogues back
How to develop awareness? 8 simple techniques were given above. Let's look at the ninth. You need to learn how to spin the dialogue back. Why is this necessary? Have you noticed that such incidents happen to you: you talked with a person for about half an hour, and then you can’t remember at all what was discussed in your conversation. Then try, immediately after you break up with the person, to unwind the dialogue in the reverse order. First, remember the last phrases, and then think about how you came to this topic. Remember all your remarks, as well as those of your interlocutor. This exercise can be done both after personal conversations and after telephone conversations. Developing mindfulness in everyday life is a set of useful exercises that you do every day. The more practice you have, the better you will remember the dialogues. This means that you will be able to better understand the people with whom you communicate.
Who could he play?
Are you walking down the street and have nothing to occupy your mind? How to train mindfulness? To avoid getting lost in your thoughts, you can engage in interesting activities. Study passers-by carefully. Pick one person out of the crowd and think about what role and what movie the person could play. For example, a man with a serious face can become a killer, and a pretty girl can become a professional model. Look for people with unusual appearance in the crowd. They find it much more enjoyable to come up with different roles.
This exercise can be practiced a little differently. Try to guess who the people around you on the bus are. This nice guy is a manager, or maybe he's a stuntman? Try to base your assumptions not just on intuitive messages, but also on the external attributes that you see on a person. For example, a person with an interesting hairstyle can be a designer, and a guy with a diplomat can be not only a businessman, but also an engineer. You can check your guesses. Walk up to the person you've been studying carefully and get to know him. This way you will be able to not only develop your powers of observation, but also overcome shyness, and also expand your circle of acquaintances.
Conscious living and its benefits
The anxieties, worries and fears that we scroll through our heads are not good for our health. Over time, they can lead to anxiety disorder, neurosis, symptoms of vegetative-vascular dystonia, nervous exhaustion and even depression. Therefore, you should start taking care of your emotional health today. A conscious life is good because with it a person really enjoys what he is doing at any given moment.
The “here and now” technique can be very widely used in real life and, with regular practice, brings excellent results:
- training the skill of returning to the present moment, the joy of being in it;
- reducing anxiety and improving mood;
- development of concentration, concentration on one’s activity;
- the ability to work with your subconscious, beliefs and emotions.
The “here and now” technique is one of the most common recommendations from psychologists for neuroses and anxiety disorders. Such mindfulness techniques help to return attention to the present, to understand that constantly being in the future or past brings nothing but emotional overstrain. By learning to notice the present moment, a person can significantly improve his mental and physical state.
How to tune in to the impossible?
Self-remembering is work, not easy work. At first it will seem to you that it is impossible to constantly be aware of yourself or remember yourself. This is exactly what will happen at first.
You will often forget yourself. But it will be better for you to immediately tune in to impossible things... Try to do them, namely, be aware of yourself as soon as you remember it.
These things will not happen on their own. Only with your constant efforts will this be possible. And over time, you will begin to remember yourself more often. And self-observation will help you with this.
Just set the intention - to observe yourself, to be aware of yourself in all of your manifestations.
There is no universal textbook on how to do this. But your intention is to constantly remember yourself, observe yourself, and help you pave your way to Self-Awareness.
Self-awareness can only be achieved with practice. And self-remembering and self-observation and other exercises for developing awareness are these practices. In another way, they can be called alarm clocks that help you wake up from sleep.
Summarize
How to practice mindfulness Photo: Depositphotos
If for some reason you abandoned the practice and now don’t know where to start, don’t worry. Mindfulness is a very liberal way of living, and there are plenty of ways to get into the groove available.
Haven't meditated for a few weeks? No problem, just add deep breathing exercise to your daily routine. Have you forgotten the last time you wandered through an art gallery or walked through the forest? No problem. If you don't have time for this, take a moment and just watch the clouds.
“We can see the reflection of the moon in the ocean only when it is calm and quiet” (Thich Nhat Hanh)
By living consciously and having a rich arsenal of mindfulness practices, you will always be able to choose the right tool for the job, despite stress, workload and fatigue. And the larger this arsenal, the easier it is to fit mindfulness into your daily life, without considering it just another item on an already too long to-do list.
Material prepared by: Alexander Sergeev Cover photo: Depositphotos
Sources
Live slowly / B. McElree; lane from English L. G. Tretyak. - Minsk: Potpourri, 2021. - 272 p. : ill.
