Interpersonal skills are the skills we regularly use to communicate with other people. We are not born with them, but we develop them as we develop. From the very first days, our parents teach us good manners and polite communication. We learn from an early age how to behave socially by interacting with our friends on playgrounds, at school, and then in our workplaces. All these experiences, parents and our environment shape who we are.
This will strengthen family relationships
Couples who know how to communicate with each other have a stronger bond between partners.
American psychologist John Gottman came to this conclusion after spending 40 years researching the causes of divorce in married couples. In his opinion, the most difficult thing in a relationship is effective communication. Its absence is the main cause of divorce. In his research, Gottman identified Research FAQ / Gottman Institute four types of communication problems that lead to relationship breakdown: criticism of the partner's personality, insults, defensive behavior and silence (complete refusal to discuss anything).
People who communicate their expectations to each other have generally better family relationships JC Pearson, CJ Sessler. Family communication and health: Maintaining marital satisfaction and quality of life. To strengthen them, support family members, negotiate compromises, communicate your needs, and demonstrate understanding.
Master class: Formation of interpersonal communication skills in children and adolescents
Master Class:
Formation of interpersonal communication skills in children
and teenagers
Purpose: to teach
children and adolescents
to effectively interact
with
others
Progress of classes
Difficulties in interpersonal relationships among special correctional
schools can arise for several reasons:
- understated
self-esteem
- aggressiveness and hostility
in relation to others
- short
level of
communication
skills - inability establish
contact, cooperate
Warm-up
Exercise “Wishes”
Instructions. “Let's start by expressing wishes to each other for today. Wish
should be short, preferably one word.
You throw the ball to someone and at the same time say your wish. The one to whom the ball was thrown, in turn, throws it to the next person, expressing his wish for today
.
We’ll be careful to make sure everyone gets the ball and try not
to miss anyone.”
Game "Let's say hello"
Target:
Give
an opportunity
to feel your body, relieve muscle tension, and
feel
like a member of a group.
Content
The players move chaotically around the room at
a pace and
direction convenient for them.
At
a certain signal from the leader, each participant must have time
to say hello
to as many players as possible.
signal options :
Clap your hands - you need to shake hands with all possible partners;
Ring the bell - pat your partner on the back;
Sound of whistle - say hello
"backs".
Desirable for more effective results
games to introduce a ban on
talking
while completing a task.
Exercises to improve self-esteem
"Magic Mirror". Teenagers need to imagine that something magical
a mirror in which all the previously unnoticeable advantages of a person become visible
and
bright.
Then you are asked to look into it, try to see each participant in turn and see
all the strengths in the mirror. for which he is respected by his parents, teachers, and friends.
Exercise “Royal Family”
The second direction in working with anxious people
children is associated with increased self-esteem.
We recommend the following exercise.
Content
Participants
are divided into
4 subgroups, each of which receives a card with the task of
“drawing
a family
portrait.”
1st subgroup
represents the royal family;
2nd subgroup
— the family of a world-famous scientist;
3rd subgroup
— a family of “new Russians”;
4th subgroup
- the family of a movie star.
Subgroups take turns presenting a “family photo.” The remaining participants try to guess who is “depicted” in the “photo”.
During the discussion, participants answer in a circle the question “How did you feel while doing
exercises?".
Exercise makes you
feel important.
Exercise “The Best” Tasks:
- increased self-esteem;
- participants' awareness of their own individuality;
- awareness uniqueness
and the diversity of the surrounding people;
- developing the ability to positively evaluate others. Time required:
10 minutes.
Procedure.
All participants are asked to stand up from their chairs.
The leader then asks the tallest and shortest members of the group to sit down. After this,
those of the remaining participants who have the darkest
and
lightest hair need to sit down.
Then the oldest and youngest of the remaining sit down, and
so on until all participants are seated in their seats.
The presenter can use such pairs of signs as the most serious - the most cheerful, the most “physical” - the most “lyricist”, the calmest - the most active, the most introvert - the most extrovert, or come up with other signs that meet the characteristics of a particular group. In difficult cases, the whole group can help make
decisions.
When the participants sit on chairs, the presenter tells them that it turns out that
they are all
“the very best.”
The group then moves
on to
discussion.
Issues for discussion:
What feelings did you experience when it turned out that you were the most... (tall, cheerful, bright, etc.)?
Do you agree that it is not difficult to find a quality or feature for which you can highlight or praise
his?
Exercise “I am Alla Pugacheva”
The exercise is carried out in a circle. Each participant chooses for himself the role of a person who is significant to him and at the same time known to those present (Alla Pugacheva, President of the USA,
fairy-tale character, literary hero, etc.).
Then
he makes a self-presentation
(verbally
or non-verbally: he utters a phrase, shows a gesture that characterizes his hero). The remaining participants try to guess the name of the “idol”.
After the exercise, a discussion is held during which each participant verbalizes the feelings that arose during the presentation.
This exercise helps improve self-esteem and can be used to develop the skill of confident behavior.
Exercises to reduce aggressiveness and self-regulation skills
Exercise
"The world through the eyes
of an aggressive
child"
Aggressive children often tend to attribute hostile intentions to other children with whom they communicate, even if the latter are about to commit aggressive acts. This personality characteristic is called hostility attribution bias.
The exercise is carried out in a circle or in subgroups of 6-8 people.
Content
One of the participants performs any (non-aggressive) action (stands up, crosses his legs, goes to the center of the circle, smiles, winks, etc.).
The person sitting next to him comments on this
action from the position of an aggressive child, the other participants can offer their own comments. For example: “You got up because you want to push my chair with your foot, you smile because someone told you something nasty about me...”, etc.
11after
During the exercise, the participant talks about how they felt and which role is closer to them: the role of an aggressive person or an “innocent victim.” Have they ever been in similar situations, attributing hostile actions to people who may not have intended to carry them out?
Game "Name Calling"
Target. 'Introduction to gaming
techniques that help discharge anger in an acceptable form using verbal means.
Content. The participants of the game pass the ball around in a circle, while calling each other different harmless words. These could be the names of trees, fruits, mushrooms, fish. flowers... Each
The address must begin with the words “And you
...
”.
For example:
“And you are a CARROTS!” In the final circle, the players must say something pleasant to their neighbor, for example: “And you are my joy!..”
Note. The game will be useful if played at a fast pace. Before starting, you should warn that this is just a game and there is no need to be offended at each other.
This game will
useful not only for aggressive, but also for touchy children. Experience shows that children who have the opportunity to throw out, with the permission of the teacher, negative emotions, and after this hear something pleasant about themselves, the desire to act aggressively decreases.
Exercise “Sound-feeling”
The purpose of the exercise is to expand knowledge
pupils about feelings and emotions, developing the ability to manage the expression of their feelings and emotional reactions.
Instructions. “Now I will name various feelings, and we will show how often we experience these feelings. To show this, we will buzz. If
We rarely experience the feeling - we will hum quietly; if more often, then louder, if very often, then louder...
Discussion. What feelings do you think we experience most often?
Information for the presenter. Pay attention guys to this. how they hummed when different feelings were named - in the same way, or some feelings wanted to hum with their own intonation. This can serve as a transition to a conversation about the intonation features of expressing various feelings. You can also discuss whether the buzz sounded louder during those feelings that are actually more often experienced by children, or when “pleasant” feelings were called. Talk about how it is easier to accept “pleasant” feelings in yourself and others than “unpleasant” ones.
Exercise “Effective interaction”
Stage
1 Verbal Option.
Aggressive children sometimes act out without knowing other ways to express their feelings. The purpose of this exercise is to learn how to resolve conflict situations in acceptable ways. For this purpose, the most common conflict situations can be discussed in a group (in a circle). For example. what to do if a child needs a toy that someone is already playing with. You can role-play the situation in a circle or in pairs. Such exercises will help the child expand his behavioral repertoire.
Content.
The group works in pairs.
One of the participants in each pair holds in his hands some
object that is significant to him (a book, a watch, a notebook with notes, etc.). The second participant's task is to persuade the partner to give him the object. The first participant can give away the item only when he wants.
Then the participants change roles.
Stage 2 Non-verbal option.
. The exercise is performed similarly to the verbal version, but with
using only non-verbal means of communication.
It is advisable to discuss the exercise after both stages have been completed. During the discussion, participants in a circle share their impressions and answer the questions: “When was it easier to ask for an item?”, “What words or actions of your partner prompted you to give it away?”... Thus, many participants begin to talk about their problems, that their style of interaction with other children does not provide for such an effective way of influencing as a request. Some participants realize that they do not know how to refuse others and at the same time often find themselves in unpleasant situations.
Development exercise
self-regulation
skills All participants
training participants sit
in
a circle and close their eyes.
The trainer
the instructions voice
Instructions
“Remember
a day
on
which
you are eager to go to school... When you are not very willing to go to school... Name a situation when you are collected... Name a situation when you are excited and inattentive...
Sit up straight on a chair and hold
back completely straight.
Place your hands on a table
or
in
your lap
with
your palms
facing the
ceiling.
Now look in your mind's eye at the center
of your chest.
Inhale deeply and exhale without pausing between inhalation and
exhalation.
Inhalation
occurs somewhat faster than exhalation... when
you
exhale, imagine that your exhalation reaches the door of our room.
And when you inhale, don’t strain, just let the air enter your body again.. If
you want, you can give your breath some color. For example, exhaling gray air. And imagine that you are exhaling yours; your anxiety, your fear, your tension. And the inhaled air can be given some other, pleasant color, for example, blue. And imagine that you are breathing in calm, confidence and lightness.”
Discussion
Participants share their impressions, talk about how they felt at the beginning of the exercise and at the end, and determine the possibilities of using this game with
children.
Exercise “Stress mask”
Tasks:
- understanding the role of muscle tension in the response to stress;
- condition study muscular
tension during stress;
- understanding the differences between muscle tension and relaxation;
- training in self-control skills. Time required:
25 minutes.
Auxiliary
materials:
colored pencils, two photocopies of a diagram of a human face for each participant from Appendix 3 to the lesson.
Applications:
schematic representation of a human face
Procedure.
The presenter tells the participants that there is a direct relationship between muscle tension and emotional tension.
The body relaxes as the brain relaxes, and the brain relaxes as the body calms. Therefore, by relaxing certain groups
, you can influence your stress level. To better feel the relaxation of a particular muscle, you must first tense this muscle and then relax it.
The presenter invites participants to tightly clench the fist of their right hand and feel a strong tension in the muscles of the forearm. He then asks participants to relax their arm as much as possible and observe the feeling of relaxation in the muscles. Participants may feel a heaviness in their hand and warmth or tingling in their fingertips. Then participants are asked to tense and relax their forehead muscles, raising their eyebrows upward, then wrinkle their nose and squint their eyes, then purse their lips
and stretch the corners of the mouth.
Each tension is
relaxation and the sensations of relaxed facial muscles are recorded.
The presenter distributes to the participants two photocopies with schematic images of the face. Participants are asked to draw a “mask” of their tension - to indicate on the diagram the most tense muscle groups. Selecting appropriate metaphors to describe tension (for example, “I feel tension in my forehead. As if high-voltage electric currents
wires"), participants use various graphic techniques (symbolic images, shading,
wavy
lines, etc.) to transfer them onto paper. Then the facilitator asks the participants to depict their face in a calm state in a similar way. After completing the drawings, a discussion is held.
Summing up the exercise, the presenter addresses the participants with the words: “It is known that our muscles
tense because we are stressed.
But the opposite conclusion is also true: if we relax our muscles, we will become calmer. If you want to cheer yourself up, try
to smile,
and
your body will remind your brain of a state of calm and joy. This way of reducing stress is reflected in the famous saying: “I don’t smile because I feel good, but I feel good because I smile.”
Issues for discussion:
Have you addressed
Have you ever paid attention to the tension of your own facial muscles under
stress?
— Which facial muscles tense the most during stress?
Was it easy for you to feel the difference between muscle tension and relaxation?
What metaphorical symbols do you associate with muscle tension and
relaxation?
Exercise “Lake of Calm”
Tasks:
—
introducing participants to Indian yoga techniques;
formation of neuropsychic stability and familiarization with relaxation methods.
Time required:
10 minutes.
Procedure.
The presenter tells the participants that many of them.
Of course, we have heard the word “yoga” more than once. Yoga is a
special school of Indian philosophy.
Literally, this
word means “restraint,” namely, the discipline of mental impulses and mastery of them. Yoga includes a variety of breathing and physical exercises, meditation and sacred chants. Yoga was first mentioned in the ancient Indian Vedas, the oldest known literary source. The goal of yogic practice is self-realization, “enlightenment,” when consciousness unites with its source “I”.
The presenter invites the group to try one of the yogic methods of relaxation. He gives the participants the following instructions: “Sit up straight, close your eyes. Look with your inner gaze at the area between the eyebrows - there is a boundless lake of calm... Observe how waves of calm spread from the eyebrows to the forehead, from the forehead to the heart and from there to every cell of your body... During your observation, the lake of calm
deepens and flows around your body...
the ball, throws it to someone else, also having previously “contacted” him with his gaze, etc. Task
playing - catch your partner's eye! and prevent the ball from falling to the floor.
The transition to the second stage is possible only when the participants have mastered the skill of non-verbal communication when passing the ball. (When working with children, more than one week may pass between the 1st and 2-1 stages. The main thing is not to force
events, otherwise the game will not
succeed,
and the children will quickly lose interest
in
it).
The game is played exactly the same as in
In the first stage, only the leader introduces another additional ball,
thereby
complicating the game.
In subsequent stages the game can use three, four, five
etc. balls. In this case, it is also necessary to prevent it! dropping at least one ball onto the floor. The ball still fell, the number of goals is reduced by one.
In a very close-knit audience (or a group of schoolchildren), you can use the option when the number of balls corresponds
number of players.
Game "Kangaroo"
Target
Practice the skill of interaction with a partner, promote group cohesion.
Content
Participants are divided into pairs.
One of them - a kangaroo - stands, the other - a baby kangaroo - first stands with his back to him (tightly), and then crouches. Both participants join hands. The task of each pair is in this position, without releasing their hands, to walk to the opposite wall, to the leader, walk around the room in a Circle,
jump together, etc.
At the next stage of the game, participants can change roles and then partners.
Discussion
In
the participants in the game share their impressions and feelings that they had while performing various roles.
They then discuss the applications of the game in everyday practice, and also note how the game can be used when working with anxious children.
Game "Mittens"
Purpose The game helps to establish mutual understanding with
partner, developing the ability to establish contact with others.
Content
The coach makes preparations: cuts out mittens from paper, the number of pairs of them must correspond to the number of pairs of participants in the game.
The presenter gives each player one mitten. Everyone must find a match. Then the couple steps aside and,
without
words,
using three pencils of different colors, paints their mittens exactly the same as quickly as possible.
Note
The facilitator observes how
the couples organize their work together,
how they share pencils, how they come to an agreement, and whether they manage to agree without the help of words.
Discussion
During the discussion, each participant talks
in
a circle about what helped him personally find a match, how he managed to come to an agreement
with
his partner.
Exercises to develop the ability to establish contact and collaborate
“I like it about you ...”
The presenter thinks of some quality that he likes in a teenager and touches him, thus trying to convey the
far-fetched
quality. The teenager must guess what qualities are intended (you can involve the whole group in guessing). Then the teenagers themselves become drivers. During subsequent executions, the intended qualities can be conveyed with a glance.
Exercise “Danish boxing”
Tasks:
- inclusion in the lesson topic;
- participants’ study of their own strategies for behavior in conflict. Time required:
5 minutes.
Procedure.
The presenter tells the participants that in ancient times Denmark was inhabited by tribes of barbarians.
According to legend, the men in these tribes were very aggressive and often staged bloody fights among themselves. One day, a sage, concerned that
the male population of the tribe might exterminate each other, offered them a bloodless way to resolve conflicts. This method was called “Danish wrestling”. The group is invited to hold Danish wrestling competitions. Participants break into pairs and sit opposite each other. They extend their hands to each other as if for a handshake, touch each other with their fingers and connect them in a “lock”, with the thumbs apart and pointing up. This is the starting position. The howl is carried out with outstretched thumbs. You need to “catch” your partner’s thumb with your thumb, pressing it to the “lock” of your palms. It is important that during the fight the bases of the palms of both participants are pressed tightly against each other.
The host says that the “fight” will last two minutes. The task of each participant is to catch and press his opponent’s thumb as many times as possible.
Exercise
“Three
conflicts from the lives
of students”
Tasks:
- awareness by participants of the specifics and patterns of their own behavior in a conflict situation.
Time required:
15 minutes.
' Materials;
forms with tables, pens for each participant.
Procedure.
Participants are asked to recall three conflicts that occurred between them and their peers or adults.
Then they are given forms with tables consisting of three columns. In the first column, participants briefly indicate the essence of each of the three conflicts, in the second - their behavior in calm conflicts, in the third - the result (how the conflict or its stage ended).
Then participants are asked to analyze their notes and draw conclusions about the characteristics of their behavior in conflicts.
Issues for discussion;
- What patterns of your behavior in conflicts have you been able to notice?
- How effective do you think this behavior is?
"We're building a car." The group is asked to build a car in which each of the teenagers will be some part of it (motor, brake, etc.). After this, the car is depicted in motion.
Exercise to develop spatia.
Goal: Introduce the feeling of empathy, which is necessary for effective interaction with people.
Very often, aggressive children lack a sense of empathy. According to
According to specialists, the development of empathy is facilitated by joint (adults and children) reading books followed by discussion. During the discussion, the adult can ask the child questions such as: “What did Pinocchio feel when Malvina locked him in the closet? ", "What did Malvina feel at that time?", "Why do you think Baba Yaga became so angry?" etc.
Content. The teacher does not have to read a fairy tale with children; it is enough to remember the most famous and
Discuss with the children the feelings of each hero of this fairy tale who finds himself in various pleasant or unpleasant situations.
Conclusion
Exercise "Gift"
Participants stand in a circle.
Instructions. “Now we will give gifts to each other. Starting with the presenter, each in turn depicts an object using pantomime and passes it to his neighbor on the right (ice cream, hedgehog, weight, flower, etc.).”
Exercise “Imaginative report”
“Take five minutes to draw your impressions of today. Make your drawing in any manner, the main thing is that it
reflected your vision, your image of today's work. Try to draw so that no one can see what you are drawing. Give me your completed drawings. (When the teacher has all the drawings, he distributes them to the participants, trying to ensure that no one gets his own drawing.) Now, please, think about who the author of this drawing is and sign it.”
. After the participants complete the task, the trainer invites everyone to name
the author of the drawing and explain why he came to this decision.
9
This will help you get a job and earn more
The ability to communicate is one of the most important skills in the job market. It is necessary for mutual understanding in the team, so employers pay special attention to it.
In one study, T. G. Weldy, M. L. Icenogle. A managerial perspective: Oral communication competency is most important for business students in the workplace Jeanne D. Maes / The Journal of Business Communication managers were asked to evaluate the shortcomings of candidates during an interview. Poor communication skills came first. By developing them, you will increase your chances of getting a good job with a high salary. This is especially important for university graduates who do not yet have enough other skills.
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It will raise self-esteem
According to research by RW Robins, JL Tracy et al. Personality correlates of self-esteem / Journal of Research in Personality, people who are good at communication usually consider themselves extroverts. They have higher self-esteem and are more comfortable approaching strangers and speaking in public. But this does not mean that you will have to somehow change your personality type in order to achieve this.
If you have problems with self-esteem, try developing your communication skills. By learning to feel comfortable during a conversation, you will become more confident. People around you will consider you friendlier, which will further strengthen your self-esteem.
The language of nonverbal messages
Some experts suggest that about three-quarters of "messages" are conveyed through nonverbal cues, such as body language, tone of voice, and the speed at which you speak.
These nonverbal gestures can contradict the meaning of words and are much more difficult to fake than words and tone of voice. Learning to read body language is absolutely essential.
How your partner leans over the table, if you sit opposite each other, how he holds his hands, where the toes of his shoes are pointing, whether he rubs the tip of his nose or scratches behind his ear - all this will reveal to you what the person in front of you is thinking about, like a natal chart.
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This will be useful for leaders and entrepreneurs
The researchers contacted RV Montagno, DF Kuratko, JH Scarcella. Perception of entrepreneurial success characteristics / Entrepreneurship Theory and Practice to small business owners and bank representatives with a question about the main factors of a successful entrepreneurial career. Most respondents cited oral communication skills and listening skills.
Interpersonal communication exercises are often used by W. Grace, L. Ebbers, D. Kell. Values, Vision, Voice, Virtue: The 4 “V” Model for Ethical Leadership Development to teach students to achieve their goals, resolve conflicts and make joint decisions. And any leader needs such abilities.
When you speak, try to express your thoughts in clear language
Learn to seek feedback to make sure your message is understood by the other person. By using questions effectively, you can both test the understanding of others and learn more from and about them.
You might think that choosing your words is the most important part of getting your message across, but nonverbal communication actually plays a much bigger role than many of us think.
This will make speaking in public easier
Written and oral communication skills are necessary for every citizen who wants to express his thoughts and participate in public life. Public speaking is the main method of such participation, which originated in Ancient Greece. Debates and public speeches are still common today.
Communication skills will be useful to you even if you do not aspire to a political career. Surely you have to speak in front of an audience at meetings, conferences or meetings with business partners. The ability to communicate will help in such situations.
There are two issues that make conversation difficult: emotions and change.
Various emotions can interfere with communication, including anger and aggression, irritation or stress. Few of us are able to communicate effectively when we're struggling to manage our emotions, and sometimes the best thing to do is put off the conversation until everyone is calmer.
Many of us find it difficult to talk about change in a company, especially if it involves criticizing existing ways of working and employee behavior. The words need to be carefully thought out so that it is clear that you are not criticizing the person personally, but are striving to find a constructive solution that will make everyone better.
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