Previously, back during the USSR, we were told that not giving a damn is bad. And that first of all you need to think about your family and friends, and then about yourself... however, as practice shows, not caring and life experience proves the opposite.
Success and wealth are achieved not by workaholics, but by people who have realized that they do not need to take everything to heart and worry about anything.
The ability to experience other people’s aggression and your own without pain is one of the keys to success. It's not even a matter of neglecting the human factor.
So, let's take a look and try to understand how to become a non-giveer and not take everything personally.
However, before you become one, you need to understand in which area of not caring to develop. Yes, yes, there are two types of indifference: healthy and unhealthy. Naturally, it must be correct and healthy, but we will analyze both so that you understand the difference between them.
So, 15 tips on how to become a non-giver:
Treat stress correctly
Yes, it all starts with stress, if you yell and create a dark, non-improving life - vanity, the situation will not change. You will only waste your vital energy on unnecessary things that seem banal and occur all the time.
Master yoga or meditation, or better yet, combine these things. This will help you focus on yourself and stop worrying. They will teach you how to manage stress and also bring you closer to healthy not giving a fuck.
Think of people as teachers
We are not saying that everyone should be a teacher. We immediately weed out the school oaks whose life consists of one word - “fists”. So, do you have short-sighted relatives, a boorish boss, an always dissatisfied colleague? You have to accept them and learn something or leave. In the case of the second option, the main thing is not to worry, not to judge, not to worry and not to complain.
Workout
Trite. However, sports help you improve some human qualities. In addition, it will help improve or maintain your physical fitness. Take up martial arts or fencing.
Confidence in your physical development increases self-esteem, believe me, you won’t care who says what about you. Let them just start thinking...
Don’t forget about endorphins and serotonin – they help us perceive our reality dramatically.
Work on yourself
Your task is to work on yourself. There is no need to go deep into internal problems, grievances and old complexes. Upgrading any skills, even the most ridiculous ones, can increase your self-confidence. The same applies to completely new knowledge.
Stop sitting idly by, let's run and learn a foreign language, forget about what your colleague told you 3 years ago. Stop holding a grudge against him. People come and go and no one ever changes. Remember this.
By the way! Self-confidence, combined with not giving a damn, is added by the fact that you master some skill perfectly. This means that you will have to be taken into account in any way.
Embrace uncertainty
We all fear the unknown. Something uncertain, something where no one has gone before. But we are not talking about any planets or pieces of earth now. Everything you haven’t tried in your life is unknown. However, without taking a step you will not taste it. Accept that life is somehow uncertain. This will allow you to see many possibilities and prospects in it.
Get rid of perfectionism
Perfectionists rarely succeed. This has been mentioned more than once in my articles, by scientists and others. Therefore, if you want to become a person who doesn’t give a damn, you must get rid of perfectionism. FOREVER!
Perfectionists and don't give a damn are people from different planets. And they would never get along together, although we admit in life there are couples consisting of these two components.
People who are often deprived of family love in childhood suffer from perfectionism and a passion for perfection. They cannot accept things as they are.
So the phrase is that it is not the excellent students with honors who become successful, but the mediocre C students who somehow graduated from an educational institution. Even though the latter did not shine with their knowledge at school, they enjoyed life from their youth and were tolerant of their weaknesses. And if they talked about their complexes, humiliated or insulted them in every possible way, they didn’t care. These are the people who become successful. And the topic of C students and excellent students will always be relevant.
Your task is to monitor manifestations of perfectionism and sometimes allow things to be done with a B or even a C. Otherwise, you will face a nervous breakdown, stress or paranoia. And with such diagnoses it is unlikely to become successful.
Don't judge things
There is a concept of good and there is a concept of bad. And the value of these concepts differed at different times. So, for example, during the Middle Ages, kindness, honesty and responsiveness were considered neutral things, such as today's love for social gatherings.
So, of course, we are talking not only about material things, but also spiritual ones. Accept yourself as you are. Everyone has something good and bad that makes you unique.
Don't take everything to heart
Forget ahem, well, you understand what exactly, the opinions of others. Constantly taking actions or words spoken behind your back to heart is not necessary. Reacting negatively to these things will not help you achieve success much, but will only lead to hecticness and stress. Well, the road from stress to depression is not long.
People in general have not learned to assert themselves in any way other than at the expense of others. This is strange for an adult. This smacks of immaturity.
Don't trust emotions
It is impossible to completely give up emotions. But you don’t need to fall into them like from a springboard into a pool. Everything that happens takes away from you two valuable things that, unfortunately, a person has in a limited state: energy and time.
If you feel like killing someone or your knees are shaking, look around you for ten yellow or green objects. Or anyone else with a positive connotation.
In addition, always include emotional intelligence. Remember, within 20 seconds, we make decisions based on emotions.
Get distracted by other things
Our life consists of constant tension. Unfortunately, in order to earn a living and regular food, you need to work like a real slave. That's why we don't have enough time for other things, be it a hobby or a regular evening walk.
But all this is easy to fix. It is only important to simply adjust your work schedule and start distracting yourself from complex tasks with other things.
Communicate with good positive people
Every person has a toxic environment; unfortunately, it is simply impossible to correct such people. You should completely refuse or at least partially reduce your time with such people. Such a society negatively affects a person’s subconscious and thinking.
It is unlikely that anyone from your circle will support your endeavors or be happy with your first successes. Instead, find people with similar interests and those who will support you in difficult times.
Change your thinking
This was mentioned in the previous paragraph. Now, you have to get rid of groupthink. It will not lead you to success, but will only add another “person” to the gray mass.
Read more: How to start thinking for yourself? Why Groupthink Won't Lead You to Happiness?
Create your own rules, not follow trends
Stop following society's lead. The media, toxic people, bloggers turn you into a zombie, unconsciously pushing you into a gray pool.
Those who constantly obey the instructions of society will, after a while, become hostages to endless “shoulds” and “shoulds.” You must put forward your demands on life and other people.
Start loving yourself
Accept your shortcomings and complexes. No one is perfect, so forget about them and accept yourself for who you are. You are unique, don't let anyone prove otherwise. Read books, attend interesting events, play sports, watch movies, love your face and body. And stop thinking about the opinions of others.
Don't give in to fear
Fear kills the person in you. Do you have the courage to stand up for what you truly believe in? So do it! Go towards your goal in every possible way. Fear cannot be killed forever; it was and will remain in front of things unknown to us. But you have to go beyond it and start doing what you really like.
Allow yourself sloppiness and healthy indifference!
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What does it mean to have “healthy indifference”
CONTENT:
People who don't give a damn are often portrayed as lazy, weak people who lie on the couch and do nothing. But this is a misconception. These people care too much about little things and are afraid of something and do not satisfy their desires. They don't “care.”
Don't give a fuck are people who:
- They look around and don’t understand why those around them act as if they are on a sinking ship.
- They attach great importance to satisfying their desires, and do not allow people around them to waste their time.
- They are selfish, but at the same time respect the rights and freedom of other people.
- They understand that the world was created not only for them. Therefore, they adapt and achieve results in ways that work, and not in ways that “would like them to work.”
- They don’t bang their heads against the wall, but constantly try new approaches to the things they want.
- They accept mistakes and shortcomings with calmness: they change the situation, if possible, or simply accept everything as it is, if nothing can be changed.
That is, people who don’t give a damn about what’s happening around them, but at the same time – which is what the prefix “healthy” means – they respect their desires and satisfy them without affecting the freedom of other people. Taking care of yourself cannot even be called selfish. Much greater selfishness is if someone else demands your time, attention and energy to satisfy their desires.
There is one interesting phrase from the TV series “Fargo” that shows the motto of people who don’t care. Two men are sitting opposite each other in a cafe, and one says to the other in the middle of the conversation:
“Your problem is that you lived your whole life as if there were rules. But they don’t exist.”
Don't count on people
Do you want to become a non-groomer, but don’t know how to do it? Stop constantly placing your hopes on others. The less you are fascinated, the less you will be disappointed. People won't always do what you want. Sometimes they will let you down, betray you, or not keep their promises. Yes, it's offensive and painful. But don't attach much importance to such situations. Did the person fail to keep his promise? Find out the reason for his action. If you understand the person, then forgive him. If you understand that the person simply forgot about you or deliberately tried to evade his promise, say goodbye to such a person. There is no point in holding on to traitors and those who have undermined their trust. Rely only on those who truly deserve it.
Learn to enjoy the little things
How often do you smile and enjoy life? From time to time, once a week or once a month? You need to learn to enjoy every day. Healthy indifference manifests itself in an optimistic outlook on things. A person who enjoys every day he lives gets more pleasure from life than a person who receives joy from time to time. Learn to see the little pleasures that fate brings to you. For example, you can leave the house on a gloomy autumn day, and at this time the sun appears from behind the clouds. Or maybe you will wake up in the morning because your son, for the first time in his life, decides to please you with breakfast in bed. Learn to notice small surprises and thank fate for them. When a person learns to see something good in every day he lives, his life is transformed.
Sport
There is nothing more useful than playing sports. It not only has a positive effect on a woman’s figure and well-being. Sport is also a powerful anti-stress, the effect of which extends to all corners of a person’s physiological and psycho-emotional state. By pumping up her buttocks, getting rid of excess weight, modeling herself a wasp waist with exercises, the girl not only transforms herself externally, but also splashes out all the negative energy that interferes with her life and shakes her nerves.
Look fear in the eyes
Intense fear prevents people from achieving success. A person can harbor ideas in his head and make plans for their implementation, but enthusiasm quickly fades - the fear of being criticized wins. You need to realize that you have two options: continue to hide in the shadows of successful people or overcome fear.
Imagine how you bring your ideas to life, what emotions you experience. Try to understand at what stage fear appears. Hear how people criticize you and notice what thoughts come into your head. Be alone with your fear until you feel it begin to recede.
Psychologist's advice
Play out the scenario you dream about. Feel the taste of victory, take a deep breath and tell yourself that there is no reason to panic. They criticize the best - become one!
Meditation
The direct path to not giving a fuck is meditation. Healthy indifference regarding matters that bother the soul in vain should outweigh the scales along with the experiences on the other side. How to become a non-giver by simply immersing yourself in your thoughts? Meditate. Focus on your consciousness. Control your imagination. Encourage only positive emotions. Thoughts are material, and if you constantly think about good things, sooner or later they will definitely come true.
Mindfulness Technique
In general, this is called the mindful grief technique, but in general, it can be applied to any emotionally charged event. When you feel that all your thoughts are starting to revolve around one idea and you are already completely exhausted, take control of your thoughts. Give yourself an hour a day to deal with these worries: “Stop! I won’t be driven and worried now, I have something to do this time. But I will allow myself to worry enough in the evening from 18:00 to 19:00.” And in the evening, please, the whole hour is at your service.
5 steps towards peace of mind:
- Understand what exactly bothers you so much - the possibility of screwing up or social condemnation about this
- Believe that everyone makes mistakes - it’s not scary or stupid. And many wonderful inventions came about thanks to failed experiments.
- Understand that you are not $100 to please everyone. There will always be people who judge and ridicule. But a person always projects himself into the world, what he is filled with - so this is their internal shame transferred to you, leave it to them. There will definitely be those who will support you, stick to these people
Photo by cottonbro: Pexels
- Accept it, but the majority of people don’t care about you and your mistakes at all, people are busy with themselves
- Become that very support and support for yourself - support, hug, tell yourself: “come on, dear, be brave! Yes, you can do anything! I'm with you!"
Well, something like this! Take care of your inner strength, don’t waste it, find yourself a constructive hobby to distract yourself. Remember, you came into this life to be happy, not an anxious cat!
Getting rid of perfectionism
Perfectionists are people who, no matter what they undertake, strive to do everything in an ideal way. Moreover, this perfectionism can also be directed at others, to whom they place excessive demands. Often, perfectionists themselves depend on the opinions of other people because they feel the need for praise and meeting other people's expectations.
This desire to achieve an ideal often takes a pathological form and can cause nervous breakdown. “There is no limit to perfection,” so a perfectionist is rarely satisfied with the result. He is not able to rejoice in the present, because he is haunted by a feeling of dissatisfaction, imperfection and an endless search for the ideal.
Living more simply means learning to accept the world as it is.
Take everything easier
How to become a don't care? You need to stop beating yourself up. The easiest way to do this is to stop predicting your future and worrying about it. Try to come to terms with the idea that you will like any lesson that fate gives you. Whatever she gives you, you will accept any outcome. Such a simple attitude towards life helps a person to calm down and start living for today. If you don’t think too much about tomorrow, life will become easy and beautiful. This does not mean that long-term planning should be abandoned completely. You just need to understand that plans may not come true. This fact should not upset you. Will the plan fail? You will compose a new one. Are you afraid that you will be fired from your job? What to fear, you can definitely find yourself any other place and, perhaps, even with a higher salary. Without worrying too much about the future, it will be easier for you to live in the present.
Characteristics of a person who doesn't care
- He sleeps a lot, eats, drinks, dreams, travels, falls in love, relaxes.
- He lives for his own pleasure.
- He wakes up with a smile on his lips.
- Follows the motto: “If you can’t change the situation, change your attitude towards it.”
- He never complains because everything is always good with him.
- He magnetically attracts money, health and friends to himself, thanks to his optimism.
- The time that a pessimist spends on meaningless struggle with himself or suffering, a person who doesn’t give a damn, in love with life, spends on self-improvement.
