Emotional Intelligence: What is it?
Ekaterina Dmitrieva, trainer for the development of emotional intelligence in adults
Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize your emotions, understand the intentions, motivations and desires of not only your own, but also other people. The development of emotional intelligence helps to manage the emotions of yourself and others in order to solve problems in life, relationships, and at work. It is based on four basic factors: self-awareness, self-control, empathy and relationship management.
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Emotions greatly influence a person’s psychological and physical health, so it is important not only to recognize them, but also to live them in an environmentally friendly way. How to develop emotional intelligence was invented back in the nineties. In 1995, journalist Daniel Goleman picked up the idea and published a world-famous book about the term. The popularization of this concept slightly distorted the essence of the scientific concept, but this did not make the author’s work any less important.
Chapter 1. ETHICS AND CULTURE OF BEHAVIOR
It's easier to do something right away,
than then explain why it was done poorly.
Longfellow (1807–1882), American poet
Currently, close attention is paid to the study of the ethics of business relations in order to improve the level of culture of these relations. Ethics covers a wide range of issues and must be taken into account in relationships within and between organizations. Without observing business ethics and a culture of behavior, most people in the team feel uncomfortable and unprotected.
The most important aspect of professional behavior is business etiquette, which sets standards of behavior at work, on the street, at a party, in transport, etc. Speech etiquette, the art of conducting telephone conversations, rules of correspondence and appearance serve as signs of your good manners, respectability and self-confidence.
Remember that in business relationships there are no trifles.
1.1. General information about ethical culture
As you know, a person enters into business relationships with other people throughout his life. One of the regulators of these relations is morality, which expresses our ideas about good and evil, about justice and injustice. Morality gives a person the opportunity to evaluate the actions of others, to understand and comprehend whether he is living correctly and what he should strive for. A person can make communication effective and achieve certain goals if he correctly understands moral standards and relies on them in business relationships. If he does not take into account moral standards in communication or distorts their content, then communication becomes impossible or causes difficulties.
Who created the rules of human behavior? Why is one behavior approved by society, while another is condemned? Ethics answers these questions.
Ethics
is one of the oldest branches of philosophy, the science of morality.
The term “ethics” comes from the Greek word “ ethos ”
(“ethos”) - custom, morality. The term “ethics” was introduced by Aristotle (384-322 BC) to designate the doctrine of morality, and ethics was considered a “practical philosophy” that should answer the question: “What should we do in order to do the right things?” , moral actions?
Initially, the terms “ethics” and “morality” coincided. But later, with the development of science and social consciousness, different contents were assigned to them.
Morality
(from Latin
moralis ~
moral) is a system of ethical values that are recognized by a person. It regulates human behavior in all spheres of public life - at work, at home, in personal, family and international relations.
The most important categories of ethics
are: “good”, “evil”, “responsibility”, “justice”, “duty”.
“Good” and “evil” are indicators of moral behavior; it is through their prism that a person’s actions and all his activities are assessed. Ethics considers “good” as the objective moral meaning of an action. It unites a set of positive norms and moral requirements and acts as an ideal, a role model. “Good” can act as a virtue, i.e. be a moral quality of a person. “Good” is opposed to “evil”; there has been a struggle between these categories since the foundation of the world. Morality is often identified with goodness, with positive behavior, and evil is seen as immorality and immorality. Good and evil are opposites that cannot exist without each other, just as light cannot exist without darkness, up without down, day without night, but nevertheless they are not equivalent.
Acting morally means choosing between good and evil. A person strives to build his life in such a way as to reduce evil and increase good. Other important categories of morality—duty and responsibility—cannot be correctly understood, much less become important principles in human behavior, if he has not realized the complexity and difficulty of the struggle for good.
Moral norms receive their ideological expression in commandments and principles about how one should behave. One of the first rules of morality in history is formulated as follows: “act towards others as you would like them to act towards you.” This rule appeared in the VI-V centuries. BC. simultaneously and independently of each other in different cultural regions - Babylon, China, India, Europe. Subsequently, it began to be called “golden”, since great importance was attached to it. Nowadays, it also remains relevant, and we must always remember that a person becomes a person only when he affirms the humanity in other people. The need to treat others as oneself, to elevate oneself through the exaltation of others, is the basis of morality and morality.
The Gospel of Matthew says: “So in everything you want people to do to you, do so to them” (Chapter 7, Article 12).
The moral life of a person and society is divided into two levels: on the one hand, what is: existence, morals, actual everyday behavior; on the other hand, what should be: due, an ideal model of behavior.
Often in business relationships we are faced with contradictions between what is and what should be. On the one hand, a person strives to behave morally, as they say, properly, on the other hand, he wants to satisfy his needs, the implementation of which is often associated with a violation of moral norms. This struggle between ideal and practical calculation creates a conflict within a person, which is most acutely manifested in the ethics of business relations, in business communication. Since the ethics of business communication is a special case of ethics in general and contains its main characteristics, then under the ethics of business communication
is understood as a set of moral norms and rules governing the behavior and relationships of people in professional activities. Therefore, when studying the course “Business Culture and Psychology of Communication,” we will talk about how to act in business relationships, so that you know about it, try to accept it and act accordingly.
The norms and rules of behavior in force in society require a person to serve society and coordinate personal and public interests. Moral standards are based on traditions and customs, and morality teaches us to do every thing in such a way that it does not cause harm to the people who are nearby.
One of the main elements of the culture of business communication is the moral behavior of people. It is based on universal human moral principles and norms - respect for human dignity, honor, nobility, conscience, sense of duty and others.
Conscience is a person’s moral awareness of his actions, thanks to which we control our actions and evaluate our actions. Conscience is closely related to duty. Duty
- this is an awareness of the conscientious performance of one’s duties (civil and official). For example, when a duty is violated, thanks to conscience, a person is responsible not only to others, but also to himself.
is of great importance for the moral character of a person ,
which is expressed in recognition of a person’s moral merits, in reputation. The honor of an officer, the honor of a businessman, the honor of a knight - it is this that requires a person to maintain the reputation of the social or professional group to which he belongs. Honor obliges a person to work conscientiously, to be truthful, fair, to admit his mistakes, and to be demanding of himself.
Dignity
is expressed in self-respect, in awareness of the significance of one’s personality;
it does not allow a person to humiliate himself, flatter and please for his own benefit. However, an excessive sense of self-esteem does not really decorate a person. The ability of a person to be restrained in revealing his merits is called modesty.
A person who is worth something does not need to flaunt his merits, increase his worth, or instill in others the idea of his own irreplaceability.
An integral part of the culture of business communication is nobility.
A noble man is true to his word, even if it is given to an enemy. He will not allow rudeness towards people he does not like, and will not slander them in their absence. Nobility does not require publicity and gratitude for help and sympathy.
Self-test questions
1. How did the terms “ethics” and “morality” arise and what do they express?
2. What are “good” and “evil”?
3. Formulate the “golden rule of morality.”
4. What are the main elements included in the concept of “business communication culture”?
1.2. Professional ethics
In the East and Western Europe, since ancient times, great importance has been attached to the need to take into account ethical norms and values in business communication. Their influence on the efficiency of business management was especially emphasized.
Professional moral standards
There were and remain politeness, attentiveness, tact, and hard work.
Politeness
is an expression of respect for other people and their dignity.
The basis of politeness is goodwill, which is manifested in greetings and wishes. For example, we wish good night, good morning, success, health, etc. The words of the Spanish writer Miguel Cervantes (1547-1616) are widely known that nothing costs us so little or is valued so dearly as politeness. A polite person is a helpful
person; he strives to be the first to show courtesy, the first to give up his seat in a vehicle, and to hold the door.
A moral norm akin to politeness is correctness,
which means the ability to maintain oneself within the bounds of decency in any situation, especially in conflict situations.
Correct behavior is manifested in the ability to listen to a partner, in the desire to understand his point of view. Politeness is determined by tact
and
a sense of proportion.
To be tactful means to skillfully make a remark without humiliating a person’s dignity, to provide him with the opportunity to get out of a difficulty with honor.
The set of moral norms that determine a person’s attitude towards his professional duty is included in the concept of professional ethics.
Society places increased moral demands on certain types of professional activities and requires highly qualified workers in the performance of their professional duties. This applies to those working in the service sector, transport, healthcare, management, education and the like, since the objects of activity of these professional groups are people.
Each type of professional ethics is determined by the uniqueness of professional activity and has its own specific requirements in the field of morality. For example, the professional ethics of military service requires strict fulfillment of official duty, courage, discipline, and devotion to the Motherland. The uniqueness of medical ethics is focused on human health, its improvement and preservation. However, any specificity of professional ethics is impossible without taking into account universal human values and ethical standards. Let's look at professional ethics using an example.
Regardless of social status or age, we are all buyers. What does the buyer want from the sellers? Firstly, purchasing a high-quality, fashionable, comfortable product at an affordable price. Secondly, competence, attentive and polite attitude towards yourself when choosing a purchase. Therefore, the seller's task is to satisfy requests and
consumer desires. Therefore, the most important requirements of professional ethics of a trade worker in relation to the buyer are attentiveness, politeness, and goodwill.
The business relationship between the seller and the buyer begins with a greeting, which must be accompanied by a smile. Greetings are followed by the words: “Please, what are you interested in?” or “I’m listening to you.” If the seller is already serving a client, he should apologize and ask to wait, and not say: “Can’t you see that I’m busy.” Once free, the seller finds out what product we are interested in and at what price, after which he reports the characteristics of the available goods.
A professional seller must take into account the gender and age of the buyer and strive to determine his psychological characteristics (aggressiveness, poise, decisiveness - indecisiveness, gullibility - incredulity). It has been established that the behavior of young and old people, men and women differs in the store. For example, men visit a store purposefully, they know what they need to buy, and if the product is available, they buy it. They are more susceptible to the influence of the seller than women and often expect advice from him and are guided by his opinion. Women rely on themselves to make their choices; They look at the product for a long time and therefore it is not recommended to rush them.
The professionalism of the seller is enhanced by his ethical education, which is manifested in speech, facial expressions, and gestures; rudeness, vulgarity and irritability are unacceptable. The seller must be restrained in various situations, for example, when the buyer examines the product for a long time, asks questions and is interested in details, although he does not intend to buy this product. He must be restrained even with an ill-mannered and aggressive customer, since responding to rudeness with rudeness does not have a positive effect. On the contrary, the atmosphere becomes tense, a conflict is brewing, which often leads to the intervention of the administration. The end of the sellers' communication with us, the buyers, is the acceptance of payment for the selected product and its packaging, after which the seller must thank us for the purchase.
In turn, we, buyers, should not forget about politeness and restraint of our negative emotions and bad mood.
A special place in the ethics of trade is occupied by the requirement for appearance and clothing. Tasteless and unkempt clothes, unkempt hair and dirty hands can turn a buyer away from shopping and visiting the store. In addition, trade workers need to monitor their speech when communicating not only with customers, but also with each other!
So, if your field of activity is people, then, despite the specifics of the profession, you always need to pay attention to the rules and norms of behavior, to your responsibilities towards the client and colleagues; be able to control oneself, be patient, listen carefully to the visitor, as well as have an appropriate appearance and master the culture of speech.
EQ and IQ: the difference
Emotional intelligence does not make a person good or happy. This is the ability to recognize emotions, use them for various purposes, understand how they arise and the ability to manage them. It is also wrong to compare IQ (intellectual quotient level) and EQ (emotional intelligence level). The first, according to scientific research, is given to us from birth, the second can be developed and improved at any age.
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What does emotional intelligence give?
Emotional intelligence is present in every person from birth. We feel something, but we don’t always understand or recognize the exact emotions. Plus, as a legacy from the past generation, middle-aged people inherited bans on living and showing emotions, which leads to emotional blocks and psychological difficulties. At the same time, the ability to notice and recognize your emotions, to be friends with them, can save you from emotional burnout, rash actions under the influence of strong emotions, and protect yourself and your health from a lot of stress. For example, emotional intelligence is needed in conflicts. When you understand your own emotions and the emotions of your partner, you can prevent conflicts in the family, team and in any communications.
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The ability to recognize what you feel, why this happens, what to do about it in order to be happy is something that is important and needs to be developed by each of us. It is important to pay special attention to anger. The dynamic rhythm of life, a large amount of information, people and dialogues make us “boil” from the overabundance of everything that presses on us. And anger, as a reaction of resistance, leads among the most pronounced emotions. The ability to manage anger is a person’s main ability, which helps preserve health and maintain relationships with others. Emotional intelligence also intersects with the theme of fear, which quietly guides our decisions, makes us doubt ourselves, give up on our dream life, and are afraid to take risks.
Ekaterina Ryumtseva, psychologist at the online school “Coalition”
Few people think about why people with low intellectual abilities are more successful and happier than those who have high IQ scores. This can be seen in research that shows that people become successful not only through intelligence, but also through the ability to understand the intentions, motivations and desires of other people in order to solve important life problems, recognize and manage their emotions. These abilities are called emotional intelligence.
A person with developed emotional intelligence reacts to reasons, not emotions. This helps to rationally perceive criticism and the opinions of other people, understand them and respond with an adequate response, even if he does not agree with something.
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Emotions and feelings
Emotional tone of sensations
The emotional tone of sensations is phylogenetically the most ancient emotional reaction. It is associated with the experience of pleasure
or
displeasure
in the process of sensation.
Therefore, N.N. Lange (1996) classified them as elementary physical feelings. He wrote that “...the feeling of pleasure and suffering is an indicator only of the correspondence between the impression and the requirement of the body that is present at the moment. It is a witness, not a prophet
" (pp. 268-269; emphasis added -
E.I.
).
Consequently, as P. V. Simonov emphasizes, this is a contact
type of emotional response. This is what, in his opinion, distinguishes the emotional tone of sensations from other emotional reactions. With disgust, suffering, pleasure, interaction always already takes place. It could not be prevented, so it can only be weakened, stopped or strengthened.
The emotional tone of sensations is characterized by a reaction to individual properties of objects or phenomena: the pleasant or unpleasant smell of chemicals or the taste of products; a pleasant or unpleasant sound, an annoying or pleasing combination of colors, etc.
The identification by psychologists at the end of the nineteenth and beginning of the twentieth century of the emotional tone of sensations as an independent phenomenon was a significant step forward in the study of the emotional sphere of humans and animals. Indeed, at this time, the presence of an emotional tone (“feeling”) as a special type of mental phenomenon (W. Wund, O. Külpe) was disputed by many psychologists. The German psychologist T. Ziegen (1909) believed that “feeling” is one of the properties of sensation along with quality and intensity, and the Polish psychologist V. Witwicki (Witwicki, 1946) argued that emotional tone is a special type of mental sensation. N. N. Lange (1996) wrote that “ordinary speech and even insufficiently accurate psychological observation (...) constantly confuse these two series of phenomena. Their distinction turns out to be especially difficult in the case of organic and skin sensations. If the feeling of pleasantness or unpleasantness of a color or smell is relatively easily distinguished by us from the color or smell itself, then in skin pain, in tickling, and especially in the organic sensations of the digestive tract and in general physical well-being, sensations closely merge for the observer with the corresponding feelings. Therefore, even some psychologists, for example K. Stumpf, speak in this case about feelings - sensations (Gefulsempfindung), and this then leads them to a sharp contrast of such lower feelings with higher ones, as completely different from the first. But it is precisely this consequence that is for us an indicator of the unacceptability of confusing feelings with sensations. The one who sees that the highest feelings are essentially similar to the physical (emotional tone of sensations. - Å. È.
), will therefore be careful not to identify these latter with the corresponding sensations. If physical feelings were sensations, then the higher ones would have to be the same, which, however, is clearly unacceptable. Obviously, therefore, even with organic sensations, one must draw a line between the sensations themselves and the physical pleasure and pain they cause, although this is not always easy” (pp. 267-268). In this regard, N. N. Lange conducted a comparative analysis of the characteristics of sensations and the emotional tone of sensations (Table 1.4).
Table 1.4.
Comparative characteristics of sensation and emotional tone.
An amendment needs to be made to the last two points of this table: at the level of experiences, the emotional tone of sensations is expressed in pleasure
or
displeasure
(
disgust
).
Despite the separation of sensations and the emotional tone of sensations, echoes of old ideas are still found. Thus, pain is classified as an emotion, although it cannot even be classified as an emotional tone of sensation. Pain is a sensation, and the emotional tone of the sensation that arises under its influence is called suffering
. Vital needs are also included in the category of emotional phenomena (G. M. Breslav, 2004, pp. 119-123); It is obvious that although the need has an emotional connotation, it is not identical to it. For example, the need for food (a feeling of hunger) can lead in one case to a negative tone of sensation, and in another case it can cause joy (the appearance of appetite as a sign of the beginning of recovery of a seriously ill person).
Functions of the emotional tone of sensations.
The first function of the emotional tone of sensations, which is mainly pointed out by many authors, is
indicative,
consisting in
telling the body whether this or that effect is dangerous or not, whether it is desirable, or whether it needs to be gotten rid of.
“The feeling of pleasure entails an increase in vital activity and movements aimed at preserving and strengthening a pleasant impression, and displeasure and suffering, on the contrary, reduce vital activity and cause movements of retraction, defense, and self-defense,” wrote N. N. Lange (1996, p. 268). The presence of an emotional tone of sensations gives the body, when encountering an unfamiliar object, the opportunity to immediately make, albeit preliminary, but a quick decision instead of comparing the new object with countless types of other known objects. As P.K. Anokhin writes, thanks to the emotional tone, “... the organism turns out to be extremely advantageously adapted to environmental conditions, since it, even without determining the form, type, mechanism and other parameters of certain influences, can respond to them with saving speed using a certain quality of emotional state, reducing them, so to speak, to a common biological denominator: a given influence is beneficial or harmful for him” (1964, p. 341).
True, as P.V. Simonov (1966) notes, this adaptive significance of emotional tone cannot be exaggerated. The taste properties of some harmful substances can cause a feeling of pleasure, and a product that is unpleasant in appearance and taste can be beneficial for the body. But this is only an exception to the rule, according to which the emotional tone accumulates the most general and frequently occurring signs of beneficial and harmful factors, which have been steadily preserved over millions of years of natural selection and have become, in the words of P.K. Anokhin (1964), “bearings” .
Always enjoying means not enjoying at all.
Voltaire
V. Witwicki showed that the most powerful experience of pleasant or unpleasant appears not at the first, but at the repeated meeting with an emotional stimulus. Obviously, not every contact stimulus is capable of “immediately” causing a distinct emotional tone of sensations that determines its usefulness or harmfulness for the body. The “maturation” of the emotional tone of sensations occurs gradually.
On the other hand, the same author discovered the phenomenon of adaptation to emotional stimuli. Long-term exposure to a pleasant stimulus leads to a decrease and dulling of the feeling of pleasure. If the stimulus is changed or its effect is temporarily interrupted, the feeling of pleasantness arises with the same intensity. Adaptation also occurs to the unpleasant tone of sensations, if it is not sharply expressed. The question, however, is whether this adaptation is truly emotional, independent of the adaptation that takes place in relation to physical sensations, or whether it is a consequence of the latter, that is, the perception of a long-acting stimulus of the same intensity as weaker.
The second function of the emotional tone of sensations is to provide feedback
, the task of which is
to inform humans and animals that the existing biological need is satisfied
(and then a positive emotional tone arises - pleasure)
or not satisfied
(and then a negative emotional tone arises - displeasure).
The third function of the emotional tone of sensations, which is usually not paid attention to and which follows from the second function, is associated with the need to exhibit certain types of behavior until the result the body needs is achieved.
In fact, it is obviously no coincidence, as P. V. Simonov notes (1966), that in evolution a mechanism has been formed by which the eruption of semen during sexual intercourse occurs not with a certain number of frictional movements or after a certain time after the start of the act, but with orgasm, i.e. when a person receives maximum pleasure from sexual intercourse. And this forces the animal and the person to achieve orgasm to satisfy the need for a pleasant sensation. The same role is played by the feeling of satiety that appears during eating, a positive tone when the feeling of thirst disappears, etc.
The same thing happens when a certain behavior is inhibited if it is undesirable and harmful for the body at the moment; then a feeling of disgust arises towards the object that previously caused pleasure. I will use the example given by P.V. Simonov. In case of disturbance of the gastrointestinal tract, it is necessary to stop eating food for a while. To do this, pathological processes in the internal organs excite the nervous structures of the “disgust center.” Now, any irritation addressed to the food center, from direct contact with food to its appearance and smell, only intensifies disgust and thereby prevents food from entering the gastrointestinal tract, promoting the course of recovery processes. In this case, the animal or person is also forced to behave in a certain way until the aversion to food disappears and the body achieves the result it needs, that is, until recovery occurs.
Mechanisms of occurrence of the emotional tone of sensations.
As V.K. Vilyunas (1979) notes, “the fact of the subject’s emotional perception of unconditioned stimuli has remained without due attention for a long time. (...) Meanwhile, there is reason to assert that the subject is prompted to respond not by the pain-causing influence, but by the pain itself, not by food reinforcement, but by its positive emotional perception, i.e., not by the stimulus itself, but by the emotional state that he evokes” (p. 13). This emotional state, arising as a result of the action of the unconditioned reflex mechanism, is the emotional tone of sensations.
Animals and humans have “pleasure centers” and “displeasure centers” in the brain (especially a lot of both in the subthalamic (hypothalamic) region, in the amygdala nucleus, and the septal zone), the stimulation of which gives the corresponding experiences. Physiologists J. Olds and P. Milner (Olds, Milner, 1954) implanted an electrode into the brain of a rat, with which they stimulated the nerve center of pleasure. Then they taught the rat to self-stimulate this center, for which it had to press a lever with its paw, thus closing the electrical network. The pleasure experienced by the rat led to the fact that it pressed the lever several thousand times in a row. Experiments with self-irritation were then reproduced in other animals, including monkeys.
Similar phenomena were observed in the clinic of nervous diseases, when, for medical reasons, electrodes were implanted into the brain of sick people for a long time, stimulating certain areas of the brain through them. Stimulation of the part of the brain that causes a feeling of pleasure for therapeutic purposes led to the fact that after the session the patient went to the doctor and asked: “Doctor, irritate me some more” (from the story of V. M. Smirnov, an employee of N. P. Bekhtereva).
There is evidence that “pleasure zones” and “displeasure zones” are located near the centers of organic needs. Thus, “pleasure centers” are often localized in the nervous structures associated with food and sexual activity, and “displeasure centers” coincide with the center of the defensive reflex, areas of pain sensitivity, hunger and thirst.
Genesis of the emotional tone of sensations.
Aristotle, Spinoza and others wrote about the expediency of the emotional tone of sensations, or, more simply, pleasure or displeasure (disgust) received from sensations, and this position was systematically substantiated by G. Spencer, who believed that the correspondence of pleasure to irritations useful for the body, and displeasure - harmful has developed gradually over a long evolution.
N. N. Lange writes that the appearance of a sensual tone of sensations is given to us by nature and does not depend on our will. According to P.V. Simonov (1970), the emotional tone of sensations in some cases is a kind of effect of species memory
. Thus, the unpleasant emotional tone of a painful sensation and the pleasant emotional tone of sensations such as orgasm are hereditarily determined. In his opinion, the emotional tone accumulates the most general and frequently occurring signs of beneficial and harmful factors, which have been steadily preserved over millions of years of natural selection. This, of course, can explain the effect on animals and humans of food odors, some of which are appetizing, while others cause nausea.
However, a number of cases associated with the appearance of a positive emotional tone of sensations (in particular, when perceiving colors of different quality) are difficult to assess from the point of view of the usefulness or harmfulness of the current stimulus. Lehman also noted that yellow evokes a cheerful mood (and N.N. Lange adds red and orange here), blue is pleasant but cold, green is calming, and purple evokes melancholy. N. N. Lange wrote that he likes pure and bright colors, but he doesn’t like pale and “dirty” colors, that is, mixed and dark, and causes displeasure. The same goes for sounds: high tones are cheerful, and low tones are serious and solemn. In addition, the biological meaning of pleasure and displeasure in humans can change. What is an extremely unpleasant sensation for a child (onions, mustard, pepper) is an object of pleasure for an adult, since he develops a need for spicy taste sensations.
Finally, the appearance of pleasure and displeasure is determined not only by the quality of the stimulus, but also by its strength. It is known that an irritant that causes a pleasant sensation, when very strong, becomes unpleasant and even causes pain. Consequently, nature had to provide for another parameter of stimuli - not only their quality, but also the optimal zone of their intensity. Very intense pleasure is called ecstasy, and very intense displeasure is called suffering. In this regard, one cannot fail to mention the principle of the relativity of positive emotional assessments proposed by P. V. Simonov (1970). The author notes that repeated repetition of “pleasant” influences leads to the neutralization of positive evaluations, and often their transformation into negative ones. Therefore, there are no incentives that are uniquely and consistently “pleasant.”
Consequently, linking pleasure or displeasure to the usefulness or harmfulness of a stimulus for the body must take into account not only the quality of the stimulus, but also its intensity. In addition, displeasure also occurs in the absence of a stimulus.
Emotions as a mental process
Emotions play a big role in a person's life, perhaps even larger than you imagine. Let's say you're arguing with a friend or boss. It will be difficult to get your point across if you are angry, yelling, overreacting, or insulting the person. When your consciousness is occupied with emotions that you cannot catch and filter, incoming information is perceived with distortions. You won't be able to have a constructive argument, and what's worse, you may get into a fight or lose your job.
Suppressing emotions, misinterpreting them, or failing to express them greatly reduces a person’s quality of life. And vice versa: the development of emotional intelligence helps improve relationships with people, improve results in school and work, and make life brighter and better. Psychologists agree that it is better to start developing emotional intelligence from an early age, but it’s okay if you weren’t told about it as a child. Emotional intelligence is a skill that can be trained throughout your life.
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How to improve emotional intelligence
Psychotherapy helps in working on emotional intelligence. If you have a sufficient level of motivation, regular independent exercise will help.
Emotional intelligence: exercises for training
- Keep an “Emotion Calendar” - regularly write down what emotion you experienced throughout the day, why and what situation caused this emotion, whether you enjoyed experiencing it or not. Observe how your body reacted to your emotional state, try to remember all the sensations. Such an analysis will help you feel better about your condition and accept emotions not only on a psychological, but also on a physiological level.
- To understand your own emotions, it is important to learn to recognize the emotional reactions of other people. A simple exercise will help with this: watch passengers in transport, colleagues at work, people in a public place. Think about what emotions they are experiencing. Imagine what this might be connected with.
- Come up with any bodily method to manage your emotional state. For example, inhale and exhale, clench and unclench your fists, count to twenty. Perform these actions at the moment when you feel like you are about to lose your temper, or feel like you want to raise your voice or offend someone.
- When you communicate with people, put yourself in their shoes. Think about why a person says this, what emotions he feels, why he reacts in a particular way. Take the position of an observer and imagine that you are seeing your dialogue from the outside. What emotions do you experience? Is perception changing? Are you satisfied with how you communicate with the person?
Introduction
The textbook that you are now holding in your hands is addressed to all those whose activities (in the future or present) are related to communication, to all who, by the nature of their occupation, must communicate effectively and competently with people, who strive to improve interpersonal relationships.
The content of the textbook meets the requirements of the State Standard of Vocational Education.
The main goal of the academic discipline that you have to study is the formation of a professional with certain psychological and moral qualities necessary in everyday activities.
The German philologist, philosopher, and linguist Wilhelm Humboldt (1767-1835) noted that there is nothing more interesting for a person than people. We communicate with people every day (at home, at work, in transport, in stores), interact with them and try to draw conclusions about the behavior of others. So, for example, we know how to “read” by external manifestations - facial expressions, voice, and try to determine the emotional state of another person. From early childhood, children behave and talk very differently with their grandmother, father, and mother. They begin to understand early on at what point they can come up with a request (demand), and when they need to remain silent or postpone the request until better times. As you can see, everyday experience tells us different behavioral tactics, and in this sense we can safely call ourselves psychologists.
The ability to distinguish the mood of other people, the characteristics of their character and behavior in communication belongs to the field of everyday psychology. Official science is based on everyday psychology and appeared only in the last quarter of the 19th century (in 1879, the German psychologist W. Wundt founded the first laboratory of experimental psychology in Leipzig).
The word "psychology" comes from the Greek words: psyhe
(soul) and
loqia
(science, understanding) - and means “science of the soul.” Ancient and young, full of secrets and mysteries, it attracts the attention of thinking people.
Currently psychology
is the science of the laws of development and functioning of the psyche as a special form of life activity. Psychology is a branched system of sciences; it has relatively independent sub-branches: developmental psychology, educational, medical, military, social, management psychology and others.
The textbook examines social psychology, which studies patterns of communication, interpersonal cognition, and group behavior, and also reveals the importance of ethics and business culture in establishing contacts. Knowledge of psychology, ethics of communication and culture of behavior is always in demand and practically necessary.
By the beginning of the 21st century, many remarkable discoveries had been made in various fields of science: physics, chemistry, genetics, medicine, but man still remains the most complex and unknown mystery, which means that the saying “another soul is darkness” will remain relevant for a long time. After all, even a person’s self-interest has two sides. On the one hand, he is interested in himself. Remember how in a group photo we look for our face: “How did it turn out?” On the other hand, we don’t always want (we don’t always strive, we are afraid) to get an idea of ourselves, to see the negative sides, to learn the “bitter” truth. We readily notice the shortcomings of another, explain the bad behavior of our partner by his shortcomings and at the same time are reluctant to discuss our own shortcomings, and we explain (justify) unworthy behavior (of course, not characteristic of us) by external circumstances: “that’s how the stars aligned,” “life forced us” … Research conducted by psychologists and sociologists shows that we are more concerned with how to change other people. We look for the reasons for our personal failures and ill-being in other people, in current situations and circumstances, but not in ourselves.
Each person is unique, inimitable. Knowing yourself, managing yourself, feeling the joy of communication, adapting to new conditions, living in harmony with others, and also learning to hear, listen and understand a person - these are the main tasks
discipline being studied. These tasks can be easily solved with proper business relationships.
Business relationship
belong to the type of social relations and are considered as relationships between partners and colleagues that arise in the process of joint activities and in a team. In business relationships, employees should focus on the partner, the consumer, which, in turn, increases interest in professional activities. Business relationships are closely related to communication.
Communication
is a complex process of establishing and developing contacts between people.
The main thing in communication is not memorizing the rules, but mastering the culture of relationships and the culture of speech in order to briefly and accurately, expressively and intelligibly convey your thoughts to your interlocutor. It reveals values such as sensitivity, responsiveness, kindness, empathy and understanding. All these values are inextricably linked with the culture
of behavior, i.e. with such actions and forms of communication of people that are based on morality, aesthetic taste, as well as compliance with certain norms and rules.
Self-test questions
1. Folk sayings, proverbs, fairy tales and myths, parables serve as the sources of psychological theories and branches of psychology.
Give examples of apt proverbs and sayings that reflect knowledge of everyday psychology.
2. Does your behavior change depending on who you communicate with?
3. Do you know how to accept a remark with dignity and respond to it appropriately?
Don’t rush to answer, think about your behavior and try to critically (as if from the outside) evaluate it. The textbook will help you understand the intricacies of interpersonal communication, in which you need not only to know your strengths and weaknesses, but also to learn how to translate weaknesses into strengths.
Books on developing emotional intelligence
- Daniel Goleman. "Emotional intellect. Why it can matter more than IQ."
- Daniel Goleman, Richard Boyatzis, Annie McKee. “Emotional leadership. The art of managing people based on emotional intelligence.”
- Sue Johnson. "Hug me tighter".
- Justin Bariso. "EQ. Emotional intelligence in practice."
- Susan David. "Emotional flexibility."
- Lisa Feldman Barrett. "How emotions are born."
- Larry Senn. “Mood lift. Learn to manage your feelings and emotions.”
- Paul Ekman. "I know what you feel".
The biggest INJUSTICE and other episodes of the Olympic Games!
