negotiation
02.07.2020
Author: Academy-of-capital.ru
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From this material you will learn:
- Description of Verbal Communication
- Differences between verbal and nonverbal communication
- Types of Verbal Communication
- 4 Barriers to Verbal Communication
- Secrets of success in business verbal communication
- Techniques of business verbal communication
- 5 mistakes in mediated communication
Verbal communication is one of three ways of exchanging information between people, which begins from a person’s birth and lasts throughout his life. In childhood, the child expresses his needs, and in adulthood, verbal communication is necessary to solve everyday and business problems.
Despite the fact that communication is an integral part of life, the effectiveness of verbal communication is far from 100%. It is generally accepted that approximately 80% of the intended volume of information can be expressed, but another part will be lost “on the other side” - the interlocutor will perceive approximately 60–70%. Moreover, if you make mistakes in verbal communication, then the chances of correctly conveying what you want are small.
Description of Verbal Communication
We can safely say that verbal communication is the most common method of communication used by the vast majority of people. This term denotes communicative interaction through speech, namely the communication of certain information, its perception and understanding.
Verbal communication occurs through speech, both oral and written. Speech can be expressed either by language or by written signs. Thus, communication through verbal communication implies interaction during a conversation or through messages intended for the interlocutor.
That is, the main means of verbal communication are language and writing. What are the most important functions of language in the process of communication? There are several of them:
- Communication function . Language is the most accessible and most widespread tool for communication between people.
- Constructive function . With the help of language, a person expresses his thoughts in a form accessible to the interlocutor.
- Appellative function . That is, language makes it possible to convince, convey one’s point of view, and influence the opinions of other people.
- Phatic function . Allows you to build or terminate interaction in compliance with accepted standards of etiquette.
- Emotional-expressive function . Provides an opportunity to express your personal perception of the topic under discussion.
- Accumulative function . This is the collection and accumulation of valuable information in the process of communicating with other people, as well as its preservation and transmission to descendants.
- Aesthetic function . You can convey your idea beautifully, elegantly, unusually, somehow in a special way.
We can also name other functions of language as a means of verbal communication. Linguistic specialists distinguish, for example, an ideological, referential function, as well as a nominative, ideological, magical, metalinguistic and a number of others.
Differences between verbal and nonverbal communication
Forms of communicative interaction differ in the ways of formulating and transmitting information in the process of communication. Verbal communication means the use of speech directly (in its oral or written form), that is, information is presented using words. This form of communication is unique to humans.
Nonverbal interaction is the so-called sign language. Here facial expressions, postures, touches, movements, etc. are used. All these tools open up very wide possibilities that allow you to do without speech. An interesting point: both people and animals communicate using gestures. Remember when a dog wags its tail? When he is happy about something. But the cat expresses dissatisfaction with the same gesture. By baring its teeth, the animal warns that it will attack or defend itself. And if he looks timidly, from under his forehead, it means he regrets his behavior. Similar examples can be listed endlessly.
Typically, information conveyed nonverbally is usually much more truthful than what people express verbally. This is due to the fact that it is not so easy to control your own facial expressions and gestures. Often a person immediately has everything he feels written on his face. But telling lies in words or in text can be very easy.
It is more difficult to lie in a personal conversation than in online correspondence or by telephone. When communicating face-to-face, a person may notice that the interlocutor’s facial expression does not correspond to the words spoken. For example, people are clearly hiding something if during a conversation they try not to look you in the eyes, and their hands do not find a place for themselves, rearrange objects, etc. Obviously, it is much easier to lie with the help of verbal communication than with communication in sign language and facial expressions.
In the process of communicative interaction, not only the moment of delivering information is important, but also its perception by the interlocutor. In order to understand the essence of a conversation, a person should be attentive and use logical thinking. But gestures and facial expressions are perceived intuitively, unconsciously. In addition, when communicating through speech, a language barrier or some misunderstanding may arise due to differences in cultures, traditions, nationalities, etc.
For nonverbal communication, such barriers are not important; they disappear altogether. A smile in any corner of the world signifies friendliness and a good mood, and to greet a person, you just need to wave your hand. Therefore, if you find yourself abroad and the speech barrier has become an obstacle to communication for you, you can perfectly convey your message with gestures. And this proves that nonverbal communication is perhaps more effective than verbal communication.
What significance do they have for a person?
Means of human communication in psychology
Before finding out the importance of communication through language, it would be correct to define non-verbal methods of communication. These include:
- gestures;
- eye expression;
- positioning of the body or its individual parts: arms, legs, head;
- facial expressions
Long before man learned to speak, he used all these possibilities to communicate. But this was not enough for full-fledged information contact with individuals similar to themselves.
Facial expressions and gestures that carry a minimum of information
For your information. Facial expressions are the expression of feelings using muscle movements on the face. With its help, you can provide up to 15% of information about an ongoing event. But it cannot be said that the means of verbal communication is facial expressions or any of the above positions.
The interlocutor will see one of the person’s emotional states on the partner’s face, but will not be able to understand what he wants to say. Undoubtedly, posture and gestures will tell a lot, but only speech can clearly and clearly convey information to the communicator. At the same time, only a correctly structured, competent and clearly expressed thought, expressed using words, can carry useful information and produce the desired effect.
For example, an inexperienced speaker can talk nonsense for an hour, without stopping for a moment, but still not convey anything useful to the listeners. Business partners during negotiations give out and receive up to 98% of useful information in a clearly structured verbal dialogue.
Attention! To find one’s place in society: work, family, friends, or simply live among people, engaging in certain activities, a person needs to be able to communicate and present himself through speech.
Types of Verbal Communication
Types of verbal communication include:
- Conversation in the form of conversation, exchange of opinions
That is, this is a method of communicative interaction, during which each of the participants (there may be two or more) expresses their point of view on the subject under discussion. It is understood that the conversation is conducted in a calm, relaxed manner, and any of the interlocutors can express their own opinion. Here you can ask questions, find out important details, and clarify any ambiguities. Conversation can be very useful and even necessary if there is an urgent question or problem that requires clarification and solution. This form of conversation, such as an interview, involves a dialogue that is specially organized on a given topic.
- Conversation in the form of an argument
Here, in the process of communication, it is the opposing points of view of the participants that are expressed. That is, opinions do not coincide, views on the issue under discussion are not the same, everyone defends his position, gives arguments, fights and tries to prove that he is right.
A dispute is a type of verbal communication, which in Russian is also called controversy, discussion, dispute or debate.
For example, dispute comes from the Latin words disputar (to reason) and disputatio (debate). Previously, a dispute meant the defense of a scientific work, after writing which a person was awarded an academic degree. Now this exact meaning is no longer attached to this word. Nowadays, a debate is a public controversial discussion, the topic of which (social or scientific) is chosen in advance.
Another form of verbal communication is discussion. The word comes from the Latin discusso (research, analysis, consideration) and denotes a public debate, during which the interlocutors express their opinions, compare, contrast them and find the only correct approach to the problem under discussion. During the discussion, the participants themselves agree with the correct point of view, therefore this method of verbal communication is one of the most effective.
Participants in the discussion should, if possible, adhere to certain rules; either all those present or only some of them can express their opinions. The discussion is led by the chairman, and everyone else participates in it on equal terms. Those present can listen and are free to speak if they wish; special speakers will not be appointed. For the discussion of special issues, rules are established (either strict or allowing variations), and the appointed chairman monitors its compliance.
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Otherwise, disputes take place in the form of polemics. The term comes from the Greek polemicos (warlike, hostile). Controversy is a tougher type of dispute, when there is a confrontation of opinions, disagreement of the parties, in which opposition manifests itself, an obvious struggle of beliefs and statements. Issues on which participants express fundamental disagreement are brought up for discussion; they try their best to prove the correctness of their point of view and the fallacy of the positions of their opponents.
Polemics as a form of verbal communication aims to overcome the enemy and convince one of the unconditional correctness of one’s opinion. This is the difference between polemics and discussion and dispute, where the parties are ready to study all the judgments and jointly come to a common correct decision.
At the same time, it is important that participants in polemics that touch upon serious socially important issues do not set themselves the goal of “just to win.” We are talking about serious aspects here, so the task of the speakers is to adhere to strong principles and identify what exactly can interfere with the harmonious development of society.
In polemics, the one who has the art of persuasion is strong. Here it is important to be able not only to clearly express your thoughts, but also to provide convincing scientific arguments for them.
The wording of debate comes from the French debat (argument). And the word debate was used in the 17th century in Russian.
Secrets of success in business verbal communication
Negotiations are an integral part of running any business. It is there that partners negotiate deals, sign contracts, etc. Your success and profitability of your business will largely depend on how well you know how to communicate, convey your point of view, and convince. Essentially, if you have good verbal business communication skills, then the business will flourish and generate income.
Equally important is the ability to inspire everyone around you with your ideas and enthusiasm, family members, team members, even your bosses. It's good if you can consider short-sighted decisions and dissuade people from implementing them. In essence, this is the foundation of verbal business communication.
Even ancient people at some point realized that reaching agreement on controversial issues was possible not only through military action. Yes, with spears and arrows you can easily get rid of dissenting opponents, subjugate the weak and force them to work for you, but in the heat of the struggle, your loved ones will also die. It is possible that at one time a simple survival instinct worked, but the person realized that negotiations, especially those conducted competently, are much more effective in helping to solve problems.
You can give a lot of examples of what methods people resorted to in negotiations at one time or another. Someone was waving a pistol left and right, and there were entire groups that sought influence by force. Somewhere in the far East, a joker walked around an old bazaar who, thanks to his sharp mind and sense of humor, was able to resolve any unexpected conflict. And the wise decisions of King Solomon will forever remain in history as the most competent and far-sighted.
- Masterfully conducted negotiations are half the success of any business
We can talk about competent technology for building verbal communication forever; this is an important and often discussed topic. And the issue of improving negotiation skills always remains relevant.
Where to gain this skill? It will appear with experience, here you should constantly practice, analyze mistakes (both your own and others), and learn lessons. Of course, the desire to learn and improve is important here. First, you study the issue theoretically, then train in the practical use of the acquired knowledge, evaluate the results, correct weak points, and then do it all over again. Work, work and more work. This is the only way you will gain serious skills, hone your skills in verbal communication and be able to negotiate competently and effectively.
In fact, you can work on improving your negotiation skills throughout your life; there are no limits or restrictions. With new acquired experience, you only hone your own skills even better.
No matter how much experience a person has in negotiating, there is no limit to perfection. Anyone who believes that they have reached the pinnacle of mastery in this matter simply does not want to continue to develop. You can and definitely need to constantly hone your skills.
- What makes a successful negotiation
To achieve high skill in negotiations, you should not only learn the basics of verbal communication, but also constantly improve your own skills.
What are the components of successful negotiations? Everything is important here, the smallest details, including sounds, smells, taste, color perception and the form of contact with the interlocutor. In the process of communication, this is reflected in the words spoken, the gestures a person uses, facial expressions, voice intonation, etc.
There are certain foundations for the formation of verbal communication, on which any negotiations are built. Сommunico translated from Latin means “I make it common, I connect, I communicate.” That is, the essence of communications is to establish a connection between people, to establish a stable, understandable and accessible exchange of messages for both parties.
In the process of communication, information is transformed from verbal to non-verbal form or in the reverse order.
In simple terms, information that exists in the head of one of the interlocutors is transmitted to another (one or more) using some verbal or non-verbal signals. And here it is important that these signals are as clear as possible. Then we can assume that communication was built correctly and the negotiations were successful. If we use the terminology of professional psychologists, then receiving and assimilation of information is called internalization, and giving information to others is called exteriorization.
It is not always possible to establish communication in such a way that the channels of output and input of information perfectly correspond to each other. Here you should pay attention to how the interlocutor reacts non-verbally to messages, what his internal state is at the time of receiving them. A person can be surprised, show joy, anger, agree or disagree, etc. And these reactions are expressed in the form of verbal signals, that is, some exclamations, phrases.
The functions of verbal communication are not to simply give or receive information, but to build a common process that is meaningful for both parties. That is, it is important that one participant in the communication expresses his thought, and the other hears it, realizes and accepts it.
Effective communication is precisely built on the fact that the parties first exchange information, digest it, and then together comprehend the essence of the issue being discussed.
- Techniques for conducting effective negotiations
Every conversation begins with a greeting. To do this, you can use different phrases, for example, “Good morning!”, That is, you wish your interlocutor a good start to the day. Or a simple word “Hello!”, which implies a wish for health. The greeting question “How are you?” you show interest and seem to invite them to talk. Or you greet a person with the phrase “It’s so good that you came”, “I’m very glad to see you!”, which undoubtedly demonstrates your respectful attitude.
At the beginning of negotiations, these so-called emotional strokes are extremely important; they set the partner up for positive communication, as if they give confidence in advance that everything will go well and the interaction will be useful and fruitful for both parties.
Of great importance is such a moment as addressing the interlocutor by name. Always remember that one’s own name is something that a person is pleased to hear always and under any circumstances (after all, that’s what parents, family members and other close people call him). Use this fact in verbal communication. Be sure to address your interlocutor by name, and in no case make mistakes in his pronunciation (this is unpleasant and even offensive to hear), however, you should also not repeat the first name and patronymic too often, so as not to get an obvious overkill.
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Depending on how the negotiations are structured, you can add social strokes, expressed approximately in the following phrases: “You are immediately visible as a professional”, “Your subordinates praised you very much, and I see that it was not in vain”, “I have heard a lot about you” , “Your long-time partners highly recommended you to me,” “I heard that you always keep your promises.” This is very reminiscent of moments when a mother praises her child: “How good you are!”, “You are the best child in the world,” “I’m proud of you,” and so on.
Mikhail Dashkiev about Sergei Azimov
- The "Mirror" principle
The way you behave and communicate will certainly affect the people around you. Thus, by looking at the reactions of others, you can draw conclusions about what is wrong in your behavior, what people perceive as normal, and where changes would be helpful.
That is, in the process of verbal communication you receive feedback from others. They, like a mirror, reflect the results of all your words and actions, and you, in turn, give a verbal reaction to the behavior of your interlocutor and can thus control the course of negotiations.
It is important to convey to your partner information about how his behavior causes you to react. On the one hand, you can perceive his words and actions in a positive way, and therefore support the chosen line of negotiations. But you may not like what is happening, then you will have a negative attitude towards everything your partner says and make efforts to correct the situation and correct the behavior of your interlocutor.
All these are options for feedback when building verbal communication. You can show another, seemingly neutral, reaction, namely, tell your partner that he, of course, can have his own point of view, which, without a doubt, is professional and valuable, but your vision of the issue is still different.
Rhetoric: Workshop
The concept of verbal means of communication. No matter how important feelings, emotions, and relationships of people are, business communication involves not so much the transfer of emotional states as the transfer of information.
The content of information is transmitted using language, i.e. takes a verbal or verbal form.
In addition, the exchange of messages does not happen “just like that,” but in order to achieve the goals of communication, so you need to take into account the personal meaning put into the message. In communication, we do not just transmit information, but inform, exchange knowledge about the difficulties of solving a problem, complain, etc. This means that successful communication is possible only taking into account the personal background against which the message is transmitted.
In verbal communication it matters:
► what you say (and what you don’t say),
► what words do you use to express your thoughts?
► in what sequence do you convey information to the interlocutor (where do you start, how do you continue, how do you end),
► what arguments you give, whether you express your thoughts briefly or in detail, and much more. etc.
Sometimes it seems to us that it is not as important as to say: the main thing is the content of the speech. The content, of course, is very important, but the same content, expressed verbally by different people and in different linguistic forms, often produces completely different impressions - one will be believed, but not another, the request of one person will be fulfilled, but the same request of another person will be fulfilled. No. Therefore, it is necessary to pay special attention to the verbal side of the expression of thoughts.
Effective verbal speech influence presupposes adequate (that is, correct, optimal, effective in a given situation) use of rules and techniques of communication: taking into account with which interlocutors, in what communicative situations the communication is conducted, what is the purpose of communication in this case, etc.
Among the rules and techniques of verbal speech influence, the following groups of factors can be distinguished.
1. Factor of compliance with the communicative norm:
► follow the norms of speech etiquette, as this ensures that we maintain communicative balance - one of the most important conditions for the effectiveness of speech influence.
If we speak politely, follow the rules of speech etiquette accepted in society, we will always maintain normal relations with our interlocutor - after all, we show respect for him, show that we want to maintain relations in the future. This endears the interlocutor to us, and therefore makes it possible for us to successfully influence him.
A person who observes the norms of speech etiquette is noticed in society and distinguished from others, they listen to him more willingly, and they show more attention to him as a person, as well as to what he says.
Compliance with the norms of speech etiquette is an effective means of verbal influence on the interlocutor. As the great Cervantes wrote, “Nothing is so cheap and valued so dearly as politeness.” A person’s etiquette behavior in communication endows him with a number of positive qualities in the eyes of others;
► follow the norms of speech culture. For effective verbal influence, it is very important to have correct, cultural speech. It is necessary to place stress correctly, speak at an average pace, do not increase the volume of speech, use words in the correct meanings, do not use rude words, and much more. etc.
Cultural, etiquette speech inspires confidence in its content. If a person speaks culturally and competently, we think that he studied well, has a good education, which means he is smart enough, apparently, he understands what he is talking about. The speech of such a person tells us exclusively positive information about him, we become imbued with confidence in such a person.
2. The factor of establishing contact with the interlocutor.
This factor is associated with the self-presentation mechanism: in order to establish contact with the interlocutor and maintain this contact, you need to please the interlocutor.
To establish and maintain contact with your interlocutor, it is especially important to follow the following rules of conflict-free communication:
► make a favorable external impression;
► talk less yourself, let your interlocutor talk about himself;
► enlarge the interlocutor;
► lower yourself in the eyes of your interlocutor (the rocker principle: it is not necessary to pull your interlocutor up, lower yourself a little in his eyes);
► personalize the interlocutor;
► give compliments;
► identify your interests with the interests of your interlocutor;
► be interested in the problems of your interlocutor;
► remember positive experiences you have had together.
Naturally, our communication with the interlocutor must be polite and comply with socially accepted standards of behavior.
3. Speech content factor.
This factor combines rules that recommend what and in what situation should be talked about, and what should not be talked about:
► talk about a topic that interests or should interest your interlocutor;
► provide more positive information;
► minimize negative information;
► do not give advice unless asked (if you still need to give advice, put it in the form of concern);
► address your interlocutor more often (“the law of the name”);
► give arguments, do not be unfounded;
► give examples from life;
► use techniques that increase the persuasiveness of the information being conveyed.
4. Factor of language design.
This group of rules is associated with the choice of certain words when expressing thoughts:
► diversify the words you use, use synonyms, words and phrases that are similar in meaning;
► use words that evoke images: this means that you need to use more concrete words (denoting actions, objects) instead of abstract, generalizing ones;
► use colloquial speech, do not overuse bookish words;
► vary your intonation, do not speak monotonously;
► keep the same pace as your partner (normal pace is about 120 words per minute);
► Give few numbers and round them.
5. Communication style factor. Showcase:
► friendliness, sincerity;
► inspiration;
► moderate emotionality;
► physical vigor, mobility.
6. Message volume factor. Be brief. Speak less than your interlocutor and in short sentences.
7. Information location factor. Give important information at the beginning and at the end; repeat several times in different places in your speech in different words.
8. The addressee factor suggests that it is necessary to take into account the type of interlocutor or audience and address them taking into account the characteristics of their perception, level of knowledge, and interests. You need to talk to different people and convince them in different ways. “Speech should be tailored to the listener’s measurements, like a dress - to the customer’s measurements” [71].
Nonverbal means of communication. Communication, being a complex socio-psychological process of mutual understanding between people, is carried out through two main channels: verbal (speech) (from the Latin verbalis - oral, verbal) and non-verbal (non-speech).
Nonverbal communication is the same means of transmitting information from person to person as verbal communication, only nonverbal communication uses other means. Nonverbal means of communication accompany, complement speech, and in some cases replace it (in such cases they say “it is clear without words”).
Nonverbal signals perform the following functions:
► convey information to the interlocutor;
► influence the interlocutor;
► influence the speaker (self-influence).
In all three of these functions, nonverbal cues can be used consciously or unconsciously by the speaker.
A person’s nonverbal behavior is inextricably linked with his mental states and serves as a means of their expression. In the process of communication, nonverbal behavior acts as an object of interpretation not in itself, but as an indicator of individual psychological and socio-psychological characteristics of a person that are hidden for direct observation. On the basis of non-verbal behavior, the inner world of the individual is revealed, the mental content of communication and joint activity is formed. People quickly learn to adapt their verbal behavior to changing circumstances, but body language is less flexible.
Nonverbal communication includes more than seven hundred thousand facial and gestural movements of the hands and body, and this is significantly more than words in our native language. Moreover, the richest “alphabet” of non-speech “words” speaks about the true state of a person, since it is of a reflex nature.
In the process of communication in general, verbal and nonverbal factors of speech influence are closely interconnected, but there is also a certain asymmetry in their role at different stages of the act of communication.
Thus, according to most linguists, non-verbal communication factors play the most important role at the stage of people getting to know each other, at the stage of the first impression and in the process of categorization (that is, assigning the interlocutor to any category of people - smart, cunning, sincere, etc. .d.).
According to E. A. Petrova, when meeting people in the first 12 seconds of communication, 92% of the information received by the interlocutors is non-verbal. According to her data, the main information about people’s relationships is transmitted by interlocutors to each other in the first 20 minutes of communication.
The number of nonverbal signals is very large. A. Pease, in his book “Body Language,” cites data obtained by A. Meyerbian, according to which the transfer of information occurs through verbal means (words only) by 7%, sound means (including tone of voice, intonation of sound) by 38%, and through non-verbal means - by 55%.
Professor Birdwissl came to the same conclusions, who found that verbal communication in a conversation takes up less than 35%, and more than 65% of information is transmitted through non-verbal means. There is a peculiar division of functions between verbal and nonverbal means of communication: pure information is transmitted through the verbal channel, and the attitude towards the communication partner is transmitted through the verbal channel.
A. Pease also notes that the nonverbal channel carries approximately five times more information than the verbal one.
Congruence is the correspondence of the meaning of verbal and accompanying nonverbal signals, incongruence is the contradiction between them. It has been found that under conditions of incongruence, if the meaning of a nonverbal signal contradicts the meaning of a verbal signal, people tend to believe the nonverbal information. So, if a person punches the air with his fist and passionately says that he is for cooperation, for finding common agreement, then the public will probably not believe him because of an aggressive gesture that contradicts the content of verbal information.
Nonverbal cues have multiple meanings, just like words. For example, the nonverbal signal “nodding your head,” depending on the context of use, can mean agreement, attention, recognition, greeting, appreciation, gratitude, permission, encouragement, etc.
According to the observations of E. A. Petrova, during official communication, gestures approach national-cultural norms; during informal communication, their individuality is revealed. Nonverbal communication is most active in humans in childhood and adolescence; as the age of the native speaker increases, it gradually weakens.
In socio-psychological research, various classifications of non-verbal means of communication have been developed, which include all body movements, intonation characteristics of the voice, tactile influence, spatial organization of communication (see Diagram 5).
Basic nonverbal means of communication. The most significant non-verbal means are kinesics. These are visually perceived movements of another person that perform an expressive-regulatory function in communication. Kinesics includes expressive movements manifested in facial expressions, posture, place, gaze, and gait.
A special role in the transmission of information is given to facial expressions - movements of the facial muscles, which is not without reason called the mirror of the soul. Studies, for example, have shown that when the lecturer's face is motionless or invisible, up to 10–15% of information is lost.
Scheme 5. Classification of non-verbal means of communication
The main characteristic of facial expressions is its integrity and dynamism. This means that in the facial expression of the six main emotional states (anger, joy, fear, suffering, surprise and disgust), all movements of the facial muscles are coordinated, which is clearly seen from the diagram of facial codes of emotional states developed by V. A. Labunskaya (Table 1 ).
Research has shown that all people, regardless of the nationality and culture in which they grew up, interpret these facial configurations as expressions of corresponding emotions with sufficient accuracy and consistency. And although each mine is the configuration of the entire face, nevertheless, the main informative load is carried by the eyebrows and the area around the mouth (lips). Thus, the subjects were presented with drawings of faces in which only the position of the eyebrows and lips varied. The consistency of the subjects' assessments was very high—the recognition of emotions was almost one hundred percent. The best recognized emotions are joy, surprise, disgust, and anger; more difficult are the emotions of sadness and fear.
Very closely related to facial expressions is gaze, or visual contact, which constitutes an extremely important part of communication. When communicating, people strive for reciprocity and experience discomfort if facial expressions are absent.
Visual contact indicates a willingness to communicate. We can say that if they look at us a little, then we have every reason to believe that they treat us or what we say and do badly, and if too much, then this is either a kind of challenge to us, or a good attitude towards us .
With the help of the eyes, the most accurate signals about a person’s condition are transmitted, since the dilation and contraction of the pupils cannot be consciously controlled. With constant lighting, the pupils can dilate or contract depending on your mood. If a person is excited or interested in something or is in high spirits, his pupils dilate four times their normal size. On the contrary, an angry, gloomy mood causes the pupils to constrict.
Table 1. Mimic codes of emotional states (according to V. A. Labunskaya)
Parts and elements of the face | Emotional states | |||||
Anger | Contempt | Suffering | Fear | Astonishment | Joy | |
Mouth position | Mouth open | Mouth closed | Mouth open | Mouth is usually closed | ||
Lips | The corners of the lips are downturned | The corners of the lips are raised | ||||
Eye shape | Eyes open or narrowed | Eyes narrowed | Eyes wide open | Eyes squinted or open | ||
Eye brightness | Eyes sparkle | Eyes are dull | The shine of the eyes is not expressed | Eyes sparkle | ||
Eyebrow position | Eyebrows are shifted towards the bridge of the nose | Eyebrows raised | ||||
Eyebrow corners | The outer corners of the eyebrows are raised up | The inner corners of the eyebrows are raised up | ||||
Forehead | Vertical folds on the forehead and bridge of the nose | Horizontal folds on the forehead | ||||
Mobility face and his parts | Face dynamic | Frozen face | Dynamic face |
! | Not only facial expression carries information about a person, but also his gaze. |
Although the face is generally agreed to be the main source of information about a person's psychological states, it is in many situations much less informative than the body, since facial expressions are consciously controlled many times better than body movements. Under certain circumstances, when a person, for example, wants to hide his feelings or conveys deliberately false information, the face becomes low-information, and the body becomes the main source of information for the partner. Therefore, in communication, it is important to know what information can be obtained if you shift the focus of observation from a person’s face to his body and his movements, since gestures, postures, and style of expressive behavior contain a lot of information. Information is carried by movements of the human body such as posture, gesture, and gait.
Posture is the position of the human body, typical for a given culture, an elementary unit of human spatial behavior. The total number of different stable positions that the human body can assume is about 1000. Of these, due to the cultural tradition of each nation, some positions are prohibited, while others are fixed. The posture clearly shows how a given person perceives his status in relation to the status of other persons present. Individuals with higher status adopt more relaxed postures than their subordinates.
One of the first to point out the role of human posture as one of the nonverbal means of communication was psychologist A. Sheflen. In further research conducted by V. Schubz, it was revealed that the main semantic content of the pose consists in the placement of the individual’s body in relation to the interlocutor. This placement indicates either closedness or a willingness to communicate.
It has been shown that “closed” poses (when a person somehow tries to close the front of the body and take up as little space as possible; “Napoleonic” pose, standing: arms crossed on the chest, and sitting: both hands resting on the chin, etc. .p.) are perceived as poses of distrust, disagreement, opposition, criticism. “Open” poses (standing: arms open, palms up, sitting: arms outstretched, legs extended) are perceived as poses of trust, agreement, goodwill, and psychological comfort.
There are clearly readable poses of reflection (the pose of Rodin's thinker), poses of critical assessment (hand under the chin, index finger extended to the temple). It is known that if a person is interested in communication, he will focus on the interlocutor and lean towards him; if he is not very interested, on the contrary, he will focus to the side and lean back. A person who wants to make a statement, to “put himself out there,” will stand straight, tense, with his shoulders turned, sometimes with his hands on his hips; a person who does not need to emphasize his status and position will be relaxed, calm, and in a free, relaxed position.
Almost all people can “read” poses well, although, of course, they don’t always understand how they do it.
Just as easily as posture, the meaning of gestures can be understood, those various movements of the hands and head, the meaning of which is clear to the communicating parties.
Quite a lot is known about the information that gestures convey. First of all, the amount of gestures is important. No matter how different cultures differ, everywhere, along with the increase in a person’s emotional arousal, his agitation, the intensity of gestures increases, as well as with the desire to achieve a more complete understanding between partners, especially if for some reason it is difficult.
The specific meaning of individual gestures varies across cultures. However, all cultures have similar gestures, among which are:
► communicative (gestures of greeting, farewell, attracting attention, prohibitions, satisfactory, negative, interrogative, etc.);
► modal, i.e. expressing assessment and attitude (gestures of approval and dissatisfaction, trust and distrust, confusion, etc.);
► descriptive gestures that make sense only in the context of a speech utterance.
In the process of communication, one should not forget about congruence, i.e. coincidence of gestures and speech statements. Speech statements and gestures accompanying them must match. The contradiction between gestures and the meaning of statements is a signal of lies.
And finally, a person’s gait, i.e. style of movement, by which one can quite easily recognize his emotional state. Thus, in studies by psychologists, subjects with great accuracy recognized emotions such as anger, suffering, pride, and happiness by their gait. Moreover, it turned out that the heaviest gait is with anger, the lightest - with joy, a sluggish, depressed gait - with suffering, the longest step length - with pride.
When trying to find a connection between gait and personality quality, the situation is more complicated. Conclusions about what gait may express are made by comparing the physical characteristics of gait and personality traits identified through tests.
The following types of non-verbal means of communication are associated with the voice, the characteristics of which create an image of a person, contribute to the recognition of his states, and the identification of mental individuality.
Characteristics of the voice are classified as prosodic and extralinguistic phenomena.
Prosody is the general name for such rhythmic and intonation aspects of speech as pitch, volume of voice tone, voice timbre, stress force.
Extralinguistic system - the inclusion of pauses in speech, as well as various kinds of psychophysiological manifestations of a person: crying, coughing, laughter, sighing, etc.
The flow of speech is regulated by prosodic and extralinguistic means, linguistic means of communication are saved, they complement, replace and anticipate speech utterances, and express emotional states.
Enthusiasm, joy and distrust are usually conveyed in a high-pitched voice, anger and fear are also conveyed in a fairly high-pitched voice, but over a wider range of tonality, strength and pitch. Grief, sadness, and fatigue are usually conveyed in a soft and muffled voice with a decrease in intonation towards the end of the phrase.
The speed of speech also reflects feelings: fast speech - excitement or concern; slow speech indicates depression, grief, arrogance or fatigue.
! | You need to be able not only to listen, but also to hear the intonation structure of speech, to evaluate the strength and tone of the voice, the speed of speech, which practically allow us to express our feelings, thoughts, and volitional aspirations not only along with the word, but also in addition to it, and sometimes in spite of it. |
A well-trained person can determine by his voice what movement is being made at the moment of pronouncing a particular phrase, and vice versa, by observing gestures during speech, you can determine what kind of voice a person speaks in. Therefore, we must not forget that sometimes gestures and movements may contradict what the voice communicates. Therefore, it is necessary to control this process and synchronize it.
Tactical means of communication include dynamic touches in the form of a handshake, patting, and kissing. Dynamic touch has been proven to be a biologically necessary form of stimulation, and not just a sentimental detail of human communication. A person’s use of dynamic touch in communication is determined by many factors. Among them, the status of partners, age, gender, and the degree of their acquaintance are of particular importance.
Handshakes, for example, are divided into three types: dominant (hand on top, palm facing down), submissive (hand on bottom, palm facing up) and equal.
A pat on the shoulder is possible under the condition of close relationships and equal social status of those communicating.
Takesic means of communication, to a greater extent than other nonverbal means, perform in communication the functions of an indicator of status-role relationships, a symbol of the degree of closeness of the communicators. Inappropriate use of tactical means by a person can lead to conflicts in communication.
! | Communication is always spatially organized. |
One of the first to study the spatial structure of communication was the American anthropologist E. Hall, who coined the term “proxemics,” the literal translation of which means “proximity.” Proxemic characteristics include the orientation of partners at the moment of communication and the distance between them. The proxemic characteristics of communication are directly influenced by cultural and national factors.
E. Hall described the norms of approaching a person to a person - distances characteristic of North American culture:
► intimate distance (from 0 to 45 cm) - communication between the closest people;
► personal (from 45 to 120 cm) - communication with familiar people;
► social (from 120 to 400 cm) - preferable when communicating with strangers and in official communication;
► public (from 400 to 750 cm) - when speaking in front of various audiences.
! | Violation of the optimal communication distance is perceived negatively. |
Orientation and angle of communication are proxemic components of the nonverbal system. Orientation, expressed by turning the body and toe of the foot in the direction of the partner or away from him, signals the direction of thoughts.
The positions of the communicating parties at the table are determined by the nature of the communication (see Fig. 1):
Rice. 1
If communication is competitive or defensive, then people sit opposite; during an ordinary friendly conversation, they take a corner position; in case of cooperative behavior, they take a position of business interaction on one side of the table; an independent position is expressed in a diagonal position.
Nonverbal behavior of a person is multifunctional:
► creates the image of a communication partner;
► expresses the relationship of communication partners, forms these relationships;
► is an indicator of current mental states of the individual;
► acts as a clarification, changing the understanding of the verbal message, enhancing the emotional intensity of what is said;
► maintains an optimal level of psychological intimacy between communicating;
► acts as an indicator of status-role relations.
Nonverbal means of strengthening the speaker’s communicative position allow him to strengthen his communicative position, that is, to increase the effectiveness of communication. Among these nonverbal signals, several factors can be identified that combine similar signals.
Appearance factor:
1.1. Cloth. A person’s communicative position is enhanced by dark traditional clothing, high-quality material, and the contrast of dark and white tones. High hats, heels, and dark horn-rimmed glasses enhance the effect. Clean, neat clothes look great. Rich colors of clothing characterize a person as enjoying life and being successful. The moderate fashionability of his clothes enhances the speaker’s communicative position.
1.2. Hairstyle. A high hairstyle increases the status of its wearer. It is interesting that blondes are usually perceived as more attractive, but at the same time superficial, shallow in their judgments, while brunettes are perceived as more serious, intelligent, and competent. A man’s short hairstyle speaks of his efficiency and low intelligence; long hair speaks of his creativity and intellectuality.
1.3. Silhouette. A rectangular silhouette of clothing strengthens a person’s position (and, conversely, a spherical silhouette, raglan sleeves, soft sweaters, jeans weaken the speaker’s communicative position). The closer a person's silhouette is to a rectangle, the more effective the impression it makes. A suit for a man, a traditional English suit for a woman (with shoulder pads) create the impression of an authoritative, competent, reliable person.
1.4. Addition. Tall height and athletic build enhance a person’s communicative position. Tall people enjoy great authority.
1.5. Physical attractiveness. People associate physical attractiveness with positive human qualities. Physically attractive people are perceived by others as sociable, popular, successful, persuasive (able to persuade), happy, and have many friends.
2. Look factor.
It is necessary to maintain eye contact with the interlocutor(s). You need to look at your interlocutor for about half of the conversation, then this is considered as maintaining contact. If we look kindly at our interlocutor 60–70% of the time, he understands that we like him.
A friendly, smiling, brief glance into the eyes is seen as a signal of a positive attitude, interest, sympathy, and desire for contact.
During prolonged communication, etiquette requires looking not into the eyes, but into the face, without fixing attention on the eyes of the interlocutor. Staring into the eyes is seen as a sign of hostility—don't look too closely at anyone.
When solving business issues, you need to use a business look - aimed at the eye-nose triangle, this creates the impression of seriousness of intentions.
When communicating in a friendly manner, it is better to lower the gaze lower - to the “eyes-mouth” triangle; such a gaze demonstrates a friendly attitude and a desire to communicate. The look below, from the eyes to the chest, is called intimate, it shows personal interest.
A sideways glance usually indicates either interest or hostility. When paired with slightly raised eyebrows or a smile, it indicates interest. If it is combined with lowered eyebrows, frowning eyebrows, or the corners of the mouth downturned, then this indicates a suspicious or ironic attitude.
If the interlocutor is unpleasant to you, trying to put pressure on you, look into his “third eye” - at the bridge of his nose. By doing this, you strengthen your communicative position and weaken the communicative position of your interlocutor.
3. Physical behavior factor.
This is the language of facial expressions and body movements. This factor involves the correct use of facial expressions, gestures and postures.
The most effective and efficient facial expression is friendliness, the core of which is a smile.
A smile in communication performs many functions: it characterizes the person smiling as a bearer of positive characteristics, as a good person; evokes a positive response from the interlocutor and is easily mirrored; lifts the mood of the speaker himself; stimulates continued contact; trains about 40 facial muscles, prevents premature wrinkles; reduces pain.
A sign of a sincere smile is the mobility of the eyebrows at the moment of smiling, but if the eyebrows are motionless and the person smiles with just his lips, the smile is insincere.
Among the gestures and postures, the following are the most effective. Firstly, signals of positive assessment and goodwill towards the interlocutor. These are signals such as the “opening” of the chest, movement of the hands towards the interlocutor, demonstration of the palms, any gestures of the speaker near his face (if his interlocutor is in a closed position), tilting the head, moving the hands up, bending forward, moving the body forward. Secondly, the use of correct rhetorical gestures, first of all, intensifying ones (rhythmic movements of the hand, hands, pointer in time with speech). Pointing gestures should be made with the palm of your hand, not your finger, otherwise it looks like a manifestation of aggressiveness. Thirdly, for effective communication, postures should be open, legs and arms should not be crossed, the chest should be open, the chin should be slightly raised. Also, your posture should be relaxed, your back should not be slouched (a sign of insecurity), and your spine should be straight. It is best to sit without crossing your legs, sit on the entire seat (moving to the edge of the seat during communication means demonstrating interest), do not spread your legs wide (this is usually perceived as indifference, indifference), and do not put your hands on your stomach. The head is slightly forward, the mouth is slightly open - a sign of attention to the interlocutor.
Movement in the communication process must also be used correctly. When speaking in front of an audience, it is recommended to lean towards the audience, extend your hands towards the listeners, come out to them from behind the podium, and walk around the audience.
Gait also performs symbolic functions. A moderately energetic gait and vivacity of movements make a positive impression. You should not keep your hands in your pockets while walking - this is perceived as a manifestation of secrecy and uncertainty.
Manipulating objects (glasses, pens, pencils, cigarettes, drawing abstract patterns on paper, jingling keys, etc.) is not recommended in the process of communication; they reveal a person’s negative attitude, his difficulties, indecision, that is, something that cannot be demonstrated costs.
4. Factor in organizing the communication space.
This factor combines signals associated with the significant location of the interlocutors relative to each other.
Communication distance: the closer, the more effective, but coming closer than 40–50 cm is not recommended - this is a person’s intimate zone, and he considers the intrusion of others into it as an attack on his own freedom and integrity. In general, it has been observed that people tend to communicate with those who are closer spatially. If people want to communicate, they approach each other; if they don’t want to, they don’t approach or even move away.
Those who easily change their communication distance have a strong communicative position: they easily approach different interlocutors, freely move away and approach again, etc.
Moderate spatial expansionism (that is, the desire to reduce the distance to the interlocutor, to take up more space) also increases the effectiveness of speech influence: stretch your legs forward a little, put your hand on the back of the adjacent chair on which the interlocutor is sitting, take up a lot of space at the table, accidentally touch things, those around the interlocutor.
Horizontal arrangement of communication participants: people at the round table are involuntarily friendly, across the table opposite each other - on the contrary, they are prone to argument and confrontation. The most effective position for a business conversation is across the corner of the table, facing each other or half-turning towards each other. It has also been noticed that when people are sitting next to each other, it is easier to persuade from left to right (towards the right hand) than from right to left.
Vertical arrangement: the higher, the more effective (“the law of vertical dominance”). Tall people always seem more authoritative; it is no coincidence that kings sit on thrones and wear crowns. Therefore, it is better to speak while standing, and it is also better to stand up if you want to say something important. It is beneficial to sit slightly higher than your interlocutor.
The effectiveness of communication is also influenced by the place of communication: there is the “law of the dark corner”: it is easier to convince in a dark, cramped room with a low ceiling than in a large and bright one. If you limit the mobility of the interlocutor and talk to him, “squeezing him into a corner,” the communicative position of the interlocutor will be weakened.
Affects the effectiveness of communication and territory ownership - it is easier to convince a person by appearing on his territory (for example, to his home). If a boss calls a subordinate to him for a conversation, this is a demonstration of strength, distance, and pressure on him. If the conversation takes place on neutral territory - this is a demonstration of equality, then it is better to discuss those problems that have already been previously discussed and there is a mood for solving them. Conversation on the interlocutor’s territory is effective when coming to him is unexpected, without warning [71].
Techniques of business verbal communication
Remember the famous law of the jungle? It sounds like this: “You and I are of the same blood, you and I.” This is an excellent example of how to establish verbal communication, build dialogues and negotiate.
The effectiveness of communication will increase many times over if the interlocutor feels a kindred spirit in you, sees that your life values and priorities, although they do not completely coincide with his own views, are generally close and understandable.
This approach echoes the mirror principle discussed above. You reveal yourself to a person (“mirror”), and in response he willingly demonstrates (reflects) his attitude towards you, your behavior, actions, words.
In the modern world, this technique is actively used for conducting all kinds of negotiations and meetings. Such events are organized in suitable places (taking into account the interests of the participants), a relaxed atmosphere is created where, over a cup of tea or coffee (and perhaps a cigarette or stronger drinks), people have the opportunity to communicate freely and with pleasure.
And here the main thing is not to forget about the main goal of the negotiations. Do not put too much pressure on your partner or demonstrate excessive openness bordering on intrusiveness. In response, he may withdraw, and further communication will become difficult.
Experts in verbal communications identify four parallel levels at which, as a rule, the communication process takes place:
- A set of well-known stereotypes and templates (clichés).
- Real events and accurate facts.
- Opinions of communication participants, their own judgments and ideas.
- Emotional manifestations.
What are templates and clichés for? They make it possible to start and end a conversation correctly, and to build communication in accordance with generally accepted standards and norms. Yes, we are talking about stereotypes and memorized rituals, but it is with their help that you demonstrate to your interlocutor your openness, willingness to listen and accept the information being conveyed. At the beginning of a conversation, they usually ask a question, state their own point of view, or voice some important fact.
How to start a conversation? For example, use the so-called presence effect. Find something interesting to discuss in your surroundings and start talking about it (but don’t look around too openly, do it carefully, as if by chance).
Another topic for communication is the interlocutor himself, but such a conversation is more difficult to start. To push your partner to interact and get a response from him, you can use the following phrases: “Do you think I’m right?”, “What do you think about this?”, “Do you agree?” etc.
How else can you engage a person in a conversation? Talk about something interesting, about the events of your own life, a book you read, touch on any topic that can become the basis for pleasant communication.
An indispensable condition for effective verbal communication is genuine interest in the partner and his point of view. It is important for a person to see that you are truly interested in him, and then your interaction will be as productive as possible.
Barriers to verbal communication
The transfer of information from one interlocutor to another suffers from imperfections. In the process of communication, the semantic meaning can be misinterpreted, changed or half lost, as in the children's game “Broken Phone”.
The “broken phone” principle when communicating
Attention! One hundred percent information is in the mind of the one who speaks it. When transforming a thought into a form, it will already lose at least 10% of its information content.
The message, moving from the “source” to the “receiver”, overcomes certain obstacles and becomes scarcer.
A psychologist from Yugoslavia, Predrag Micic, in one of his books on psychology describes this barrier series as follows:
- limit of imagination - gives 10% losses when converting internal speech into external word form;
- barrier of desire - the statement does not turn out the way we would like due to the undeveloped course of the conversation or the personality of the interlocutor, and another 10% is lost;
- barrier of technical linguistic imperfection - takes away 10%, as a result of “swallowing” endings in words, unclear pronunciation, stuttering, parasitic words, etc.;
- relationship barrier – the biased personal position of the “listener” towards the “speaker”, concealing 10% of the information due to psychological unpreparedness to logically comprehend what was said;
- memory capacity barrier – the average human memory remembers only 10-25% of the material heard.
Subtracting all the losses that the expressed thought will undergo before it settles in the memory of the interlocutor, 10% of the originally conceived and then spoken speech news will remain.
Barriers to verbal communication
The exchange of useful information is not fully possible only through non-verbal interpersonal and mass contacts. Interaction with other people on a verbal level allows the individual to develop and gain life experience.