If a girl refuses to “drink tea” or “look at the stamp collection,” men firmly accept such an answer (although not all). But if a guy doesn’t want sex, it looks illogical and strange for a girl. How is it that the “predator” is offered prey on a silver platter, but he doesn’t want it. In fact, the situation is not very conducive to humor, because such a picture has a sharply negative effect on women’s self-esteem. And the very fact of a negative answer in most cases hints at some problems for the young man.
Just a few years ago, men were rumored to be sex-obsessed, and women tried their best to evade marital duty. Now the emphasis has changed, and now the stronger sex suffers from headaches more often. According to statistics, more than 60% of the male part of the planet increasingly refuses bed games, and 40% have sex no more than once a week. These are the results of anonymous social media. surveys.
Work work work
Workaholic men are not uncommon these days. The crisis forces them to work more and more. A normal working day is also accompanied by stress and a busy schedule. Of course, there is no energy left for sex and other pleasures. Overwork has a negative impact on the nervous system. Hence irritability, apathy and a complete lack of desire for intimacy.
Instead of crying into your pillow and constantly repeating the phrase “the guy doesn’t want me” in your head, start taking action. And first of all, you need to achieve at least a week's vacation. Convince your man that he needs rest. A glass of good wine, a warm bath - all this will help you relax and enjoy. You can offer to give him a massage. Just don’t be offended if the man falls asleep at this time. Only when he gains strength and energy will everything change.
Advice for pregnant women and young mothers
If your child takes up all your time and thoughts, and your spouse has long faded into the background, try the following:
- While there is a ban on full sex life, engage in oral sex. This way, your husband will understand that he is still important to you, he will be able to fully relax, and mutual understanding will not leave the family.
- The birth of a baby is not a reason to forget about yourself. Clean clothes, walks in the fresh air, simple but cute hair styling, at least minimal exercise will allow you to remain attractive, even if the child is capricious and demanding. You certainly cannot forget about yourself.
Less nervousness, more affection and interest in each other, and everything will be fine.
VIDEO TESTS: Does a man love me test about the development of your love relationship.
Radical therapy2
Like any important action, the battle for your partner's attention should begin with intelligence. Or rather, from a calm, open conversation. If a guy is smart, he will want to figure out this situation himself. Further actions depend on the identified cause:
- Workaholism is cured by taking an emergency vacation, even if it’s free. Take your loved one out of the annoying environment and give them a couple of days of rest. After rest, he himself will begin to persuade his soul mate to have sex. But this sounds simple only in words. If the next vacation is still a few months away, you need to help your spouse relieve emotional and physical stress. A high-quality massage, funny comedy and care will help a guy cope with critical situations and fatigue. And a young man surrounded by care will definitely want to “thank” his sweetheart.
- With diseases, everything is more complicated; a medical specialist is needed here. If hormonal imbalance is to blame, it can be eliminated with proper nutrition and exercise; hormonal drugs are prescribed in difficult cases.
- Addiction to hobbies is treated with the “temptress wife” regime; knowing the weak points of your partner, nothing prevents you from using them to awaken the desire of your chosen one.
Everyone knows that men love with their eyes. But eyes are not the only way to the heart of a loved one. You should pay no less attention to your smell; a clean female body causes a wave of excitement in any male. A small amount of perfume won't hurt either.
- If the problem is with the girl, she must fix it herself (if she wants, of course), it’s worth asking the guy which type suits him best. This should only be done if there is reciprocity, if the young man has worked on himself for your sake.
- Monitor your behavior and conversations. Maybe the girl herself is having troubles at work, and she’s taking out the negativity on her lover.
- A radical change of image can also help. Try to surprise your partner. Jeans and sweatshirts with sneakers are undoubtedly very comfortable clothes. But an elegant dress and stilettos can excite a man’s imagination no worse than a porn film.
- For couples with extensive marital experience, we can advise trying to return the relationship to the very first “candy” period. Start flirting with your man. Intimate correspondence, small but pleasant gifts, exciting touches to sensitive areas. Remember how the stronger sex reacts to a languid voice, a sincere smile and gentle tactile contact.
It is recommended to take care of this problem in advance. Regularly arrange intimate evenings for your partner, try to keep yourself well-groomed, and don’t let yourself get caught up in work. It is worth regularly changing the scenario of bed games.
The problem is that the guy should have a similar return. This is not only the secret of regular sex, but also the key to a happy union.
Feminine attractiveness
This may also be the reason why intimacy with a loved one becomes a very rare occurrence. And we are not talking about impeccable beauty or ideal weight. But a woman near a man should always be neat and clean. The same applies to housing. When there is chaos and chaos all around, and the wife has many holes in her tights and robe, such an environment in itself is not conducive to intimacy. Do some spring cleaning, light some scented candles and put on some killer lingerie. But at the same time, you don’t need to jump on a man and demand intimacy from him. Act as if nothing happened.
What to do in a situation when your husband does not want sex
First of all, try to tactfully bring your spouse into a frank conversation. Remember, your task is not to get a man into bed, but to understand what went wrong. After all, if a husband does not want a wife, there must be a root cause, after knowing which you can understand in which direction to move further to correct the current situation.
Ask your partner about the symptoms that preceded impotence. Check if you visited a doctor. Men are sometimes embarrassed to contact erection specialists and endure until the last minute. If the reason concerns you, do not swear to avoid destroying the marriage. Listen carefully and take appropriate steps towards your loved one.
If a man is bored with the monotony, change your approach to sex. Become attractive again by showing your partner your mysterious or liberated nature. Buy sexy lace lingerie and erotic stockings with garters, high-heeled shoes or a leather corset. Visit a sex shop and buy interesting sex toys.
Invite your husband to try new places and positions or role-play.
Experiment with your own appearance. Cut or dye your hair, join a gym to lose excess weight. Buy bright, sexy clothes. Walk around the house not in a washed out robe or faded jeans, but in open sundresses and silk negligees.
After the birth of your child, do not focus on yourself and the baby. Pay attention to your husband. Teach your child to sleep in a crib. If you yourself don’t want or can’t have sex after giving birth, no one has canceled men’s physiological needs. Find alternative ways to satisfy your spouse so that the desire does not disappear over time.
How to talk about this with your husband
Of course, it is not easy to get a person to open up. Therefore, try to take the advice of family psychologists. A heart-to-heart conversation should take place in a calm, cozy atmosphere. Don't terrorize your tired spouse after work. Select a day off. During the conversation, do not throw hysterics, do not blame or reproach. Don't download your license.
Maintain a soft, friendly tone. But don't overdo it, men hate pity.
If your partner refuses to have a serious conversation, try to unobtrusively find out the reason. Do not set conditions for a man: “I decided to talk, drop everything and listen, otherwise you will regret it.” Start the conversation softly: “We need to have a serious conversation. When you will be free?".
If the husband does not agree to be frank, the psychology of family relationships advises the wife to increase her husband’s credibility.
Give your man a bath and foot massage before bed. Fill a bowl with warm water and add relaxing essential oils, such as lavender or mint. Wash your husband’s feet and dry them. Give yourself a massage using a cream or oil with a pleasant aroma. After a couple of similar procedures, the partner will begin to trust more and make contact.
When to seek advice from a psychologist if your husband does not want sex
If your spouse does not approach each other for a long time, avoids talking, tries to stay late at work or spend time in the company of friends, stop putting pressure. Otherwise, you can provoke the man to leave home or divorce.
If you see that the situation is only getting worse over time, make an appointment with a psychologist. Discuss the current situation with a specialist and ask for advice on what to do if your husband refuses intimacy. Attend a couple of consultations, and then, with the psychologist's approval, bring your spouse. Be prepared in advance that the reason for a man’s indifference may be the appearance of a mistress. In this case, you will have to make a decision about the possible forgiveness of your life partner and saving the marriage, or about the final severance of the relationship through divorce.
PsychologyPRO
How to win a man's interest after having a baby
You will have to make an effort and find time to take care of yourself, wisely distributing your to-do list. In order for free minutes to appear, it is necessary to gently involve your spouse in new tasks.
An important point is the husband’s fear of causing pain or harm to his wife after childbirth during intimacy. Swollen breasts full of milk and stretch marks on the abdomen can confuse and extinguish desire. Do not rush to accuse him of coldness, talk frankly and explain that the body has already recovered and craves the usual affection, and other phenomena are temporary and gradually everything will return to normal.
No harmony in bed
Another problem in psychology is why a husband does not want a wife - the couple’s biorhythms simply do not match. Let's give an example: a man works from 8 am to 6 pm, so after sunset he is awake and ready to conquer the peaks. His wife works from 12 noon to 12 midnight, and when she comes home she dreams of a hot bath and a warm bed. The moment a man desires a woman, she refuses him for a simple reason - fatigue. And then a similar situation occurs, exactly the opposite.
In this case, you need to be able to adjust your biorhythms, either by getting used to the regime, or by changing your work schedule, or by sacrificing an extra hour for rest.
Lack of desire for intimacy
