So, you are an adult who has everything (well, or almost everything), but lacks the most important thing - a faithful life partner. Therefore, lately you have often asked yourself the question: “How to find a good wife to live happily ever after?”
If so, congratulations! You have come across a useful bachelor's guide that will guide you on the right path and help you find your love.
If you ended up here by accident, don’t rush to close this page, maybe you will still need our advice when you realize that you can’t cope alone.
- M+F How to find a girl if you are an introvert? 6 life hacks that will make everything work
Let's not waste time and get straight to the point.
Where to find a good wife: 5 main dating spaces
Unfortunately, we do not have official statistics that would show where exactly good wives go, and where are the femme fatales who will break your heart. Therefore, each case is individual and you can meet your future companion literally everywhere - from the metro and the summer terrace of a restaurant to the library and traffic jams on the Moscow Ring Road.
However, we will still take responsibility and advise you several places where you should take a closer look at the girls.
Marriage after 30 years
There is a belief among women that good men are taken apart when they are still puppies, and if a guy has never been married before the age of 30, then there is something wrong with him. Either a womanizer, or a mama's boy, or the wrong orientation. But you and I know that this is not always the case.
Therefore, if you are in your early thirties and are interested in starting a family, you need to dispel these three myths.
Never let the girl you like understand that she is not your only one. We are talking not only about physical intimacy, but also about any attention and interest on your part. Women hate competition and love to feel exclusive.
Be independent in everyday life, learn to take care of yourself, even if you still live with your parents and your caring mother is ready to wash your socks from morning to evening. Remember, someone else's guardianship over you is your dependence. You must first become completely autonomous and self-sufficient and only then begin to look for the woman of your life. Few people are attracted by the prospect of becoming a mother to an adult man, especially since women themselves are not averse to sitting on the neck.
If your relationship with the opposite sex is not working out, you don’t have to pretend that you don’t need it. Show interest in girls, respect them, don't become misogynistic because of a few rejections. Otherwise, you won’t notice how people will start whispering behind your back and smiling meaningfully when they meet you.
How to behave with a girl?
Finally, let us remind you of a few ironclad rules that you need to follow when communicating with a girl in order to build a strong relationship with her.
Do not forget to be sincerely interested in her life, constantly get to know her even better in order to understand and accept her for who she is.
Try to always be open, sincere and honest. A good relationship is achieved when both partners can trust each other and share their most intimate experiences. In a word, be yourself, no matter how banal it may sound.
Make an effort to make her feel comfortable with you. Listen to her comments, requests and desires. We also advise you to become more responsible for the feelings of the other person whom you have chosen as your life partner.
- Author: Dmitry Petrosyants
Why should a man get married?
Typically, bachelors utter this rhetorical question in response to the question addressed to them: “Well, when?!” from mothers and grandmothers. We will try to answer it honestly, without offending anyone.
The motives for getting married can be different. Some are tired of waking up alone every day and cooking breakfast for themselves, some are ripe for procreation, while others are simply overwhelmed with love. Let's look at all these and other cases.
Love till death
Love in itself is a sufficient basis for creating a family. But with some reservations.
Well, firstly, we are talking exclusively about mutual love. That is, your chosen one should love you at least as much as you love her.
Secondly, your feeling must be tested by time and various circumstances. If there are any rough spots in your couple, do not expect that they will be smoothed out after the wedding.
Need for support and support
Man is a social creature and needs closeness and warmth. It is very difficult for one person to endure all the hardships of this cruel world. If you feel that your cat can no longer cope with the role of a psychotherapist, you should think about starting a family.
Girls are by nature more sensitive, soft and flexible, while men are tough and straightforward. Therefore, when paired, they complement each other perfectly, like yin and yang.
Paternal instinct
As every man grows up, he accumulates invaluable experience that he can no longer keep to himself and wants to pass on to someone. Well, there’s how to straighten your underpants through your trouser pockets, how to teach a parrot to swear, how to put a beer mug on your stomach so that it doesn’t fall.
Plus, everyone around constantly reminds me of the house, the tree and my son. If you can somehow cope with the first two points yourself, then with your son it is more difficult - you cannot do without the participation of a woman.
Life
Living together is rational and convenient. There is a division of labor system in place, costs are reduced - this is microeconomics in action. Well, so what, which sounds too pragmatic, kisses alone, as they say, won’t satisfy you.
Status display
Many wealthy men need a beautiful and spectacular woman nearby to confirm their status. It is not for nothing that they say that a man is judged by the woman who accompanies him. There is some truth in this saying.
To sit on your neck
Yes, there are such men, to be honest. We will not consider them in detail - we will mentally scold them, express a contemptuous “ugh” and move on. You're not like us, are you?
Mom asks for grandchildren
Very often, men get married at the insistence of their beloved mothers. Although it is a pity for mothers to give their sons into the wrong hands, the desire to babysit their grandchildren, as a rule, overpowers them.
Cambodia
There are many tragic periods in the country's history - for example, the Khmer Rouge regime and the genocide that accompanied it. This set Cambodia back several decades and made it one of the poorest Asian countries. Therefore, Cambodian women take every opportunity to go as far as possible.
If you meet a woman you like, don't hesitate to ask if she's single - tae anak riebkear haey ry now
.
Keep in mind that a “correct” Cambodian woman will live and have sex with a man only if he proposes to her (or at least declares his love - khnhom sralanh anak
).
To officially marry a Cambodian woman, a man must be under 50 years old
and earn approximately
973 thousand tenge per month
.
But in practice, you can go to a neighboring country (for example, Thailand) and get married there. According to tradition, the husband must pay a “ransom” for the bride - from 1,000 to 20,000 dollars
(depending on the wealth of the family and the girl’s education).
Plus, the family will need to send financial assistance every month - approximately 100-300 dollars
.
She takes care of children.
If we are already talking about marriage, most likely one day children will appear in it. And the ideal wife will do them. Nannies and kindergartens will remain as a last resort, grandmothers and godparents - just to rest.
She will teach children, take care of them and raise them to be worthy people. Without shifting it to others and without being distracted by work in the first years. She will make sure that they eat properly, engage in some kind of sports and creativity. It will be correct to treat them and pay a lot of attention to their development.
She will make real ladies out of her daughters. And it will give you the opportunity to raise worthy men from your sons.
How to get married so you don't have to get a divorce later
We have touched on a serious topic, friends. The statistics are inexorable - almost half of marriages in Russia end in divorce. It’s hard to say why this happens, let’s better discuss what can be done to avoid being included in these statistics.
- Don't try to change a girl
If a girl doesn’t suit you in some way, irritates you, enrages you, you have only two options - either accept her as she is, or break up. Trying to change or re-educate someone, you will only ruin the good attitude towards you (if there was one, of course).
To change for the better, the incentive must come from within. You can try to help this stimulus arise in a person, but very subtly, delicately, without invading his boundaries. Personal example is one of these ways.
Let's say your loved one has gained a few extra pounds lately, and you don't like it. Show her a good example - start going to the gym yourself and watching your diet, you probably also have something to work on. It is quite possible that the girl will become infected with your enthusiasm and join you. Or maybe not. In any case, it's her business.
Very often men fall into one insidious trap. You’ve probably heard guys say about their girlfriends something like “she loves me, but refuses to kiss me because she has mental trauma from a past relationship” or “we agreed to meet, I waited for her for two hours, but she’s so forgetful, that she didn’t even call.”
So, friends, never try to explain your beloved’s bad attitude towards you by her moral traumas, character traits, some external circumstances, etc. The only reason is insufficient love for you.
Believe me, when this same girl falls head over heels in love with someone, she will be ready to move mountains and walk the walk to please her chosen one. And all her injuries will blow away like the wind. And in this situation, all you can do is end such unequal relationships and look for new love. It is likely, by the way, that the girl will rethink your role in her life after separation and ask you to return. But that is another story.
- Agree in advance
Discuss all important life-changing issues before marriage. Otherwise, it turns out that your ideas about living together are radically different. You want five children, a house in the village, three geese and a cow, but she is generally childfree and wants to surf in Bali all her life.
Put on the agenda the topic of parenthood, joint budget, place of residence and try to reach agreement or at least a compromise on all issues. Discuss everything calmly, without unnecessary emotions, listen to each other.
- Share and help
Don’t think that your wife will do your laundry and cook for you just because of your beautiful eyes. Contribute to the general everyday life, especially if your incomes are approximately equal. By the way, taking out the trash is not a contribution. At least sometimes you need to take on the cleaning, cooking and laundry. All male responsibilities, naturally, should also be yours.
Do it selflessly, without expecting gratitude or praise. Then your wife will hold on to you with her arms and legs and brag to her friends about what a golden husband she has.
- Don't relax
For some reason, many people consider a wedding to be a kind of magical ritual, after which they can relax and rest on their laurels. The partner, they say, isn’t going anywhere, so why waste your energy. In such couples, the husband and wife often gain weight after the wedding, stop taking care of themselves and are ashamed of their physiological processes, and become vulgar and rude. A depressing sight, isn't it?
Remember that a stamp in your passport does not guarantee you the eternal love of your chosen one; she can easily fly away from your common nest. And then you will have to strain again, but 10 times harder.
Bulgaria
In Bulgaria there live simple women who are not afraid of housework and know how to take care of a man. At the same time, you can meet them in bars and cafes - just treat the girl you like and tell them that you came from afar and for a serious relationship, and not for sex for the night.
Another way to find a bride is to make friends with local men and tell them about the purpose of your visit. New friends will introduce you to their single girlfriends if you're willing to pay for them at the bar.
Be prepared for the fact that a wedding in Bulgaria is a big event lasting several days, which attracts all relatives, even second cousins. The average budget for such an event is $5,000
, but it will partially pay for itself through gifts from relatives.
At 40, life is just beginning
Forty-year-old males can easily give young animals a head start in relationships with the opposite sex. Unless, of course, they wasted their youth on idle leisure.
By this age, a man, as a rule, already has a wealth of experience, social status and material wealth. His appearance is amazing, his reproductive function works perfectly, so his choice of wife is not limited to almost any limits.
Some men by this age have never been married, but most forty-year-old bachelors still receive this title after a divorce. A bad experience is also an experience, sometimes even more valuable than a successful one. If you have a divorce behind you, it means that you have made some conclusions for yourself, realized something and are ready to go into battle with renewed vigor.
If you have no experience of married life, do not despair! You may have past traumas that are preventing you from trusting and opening up to someone. Or you are so used to loneliness that you are afraid to change your usual way of life. Or maybe you simply evaluate all girls critically, and you don’t like anyone. I advise you to contact a psychologist, he will help you understand yourself and change your attitudes.
Serious relationships abroad
Sometimes it happens that you have to go to a neighboring country or even fly across the ocean to find your soulmate. Serious relationships abroad are considered by many today as a tempting prospect of self-affirmation, time-tested. When young people are determined, they have to overcome multiple obstacles, strive for more and better than they have at the moment.
Serious relationships abroad consist of several points. All of them deserve close consideration.
- Overcoming territorial boundaries. To reunite with your future wife, you will have to change your place of residence, it is better to get to know the proposed area. Overcoming territorial boundaries requires courage and determination from a person. Not everyone will decide to take risks.
- Solving paperwork issues. In order to freely dispose of your rights and obligations, you must comply with all formalities in advance. The papers must be legalized by confirming the intention.
- Marriage registration. Involves long-term residence away from home. This step will require money and the desire not to betray personal ideals.
Finding a wife is quite a troublesome task. People are looking for attractive and enviable life partners. This requires taking bold steps, playing by the rules, and making sure your partner shares interests, passions, and aspirations.
Why choosing a wife should be taken seriously
As soon as a man marries, his wife immediately gains power over his money and future children. For example, in a divorce, all advantages are on the side of the spouse. After all, divorce is the legal theft of property from a husband and the redistribution of a man’s wealth to a woman. In addition, she receives a “salary” in the form of good alimony to provide for her children + government assistance, as a single mother.
For the law, the wife is the victim, and the husband is the tyrant. (It is worth noting that in many cases, the woman is truly the victim). Therefore, divorce for a man is an extremely unprofitable solution to family disagreements. This means that you need to take seriously the choice of a girl for the role of your future wife in order to avoid the breakdown of the family.
Cinema and women's novels give the idea that the main thing in marriage is love and a soul mate, only then will the marriage be long and happy. All this is the fantasy of television and book authors. The reality is this : marriage is an exchange of resources (quality, cooperation), where spouses mutually provide each other with their resources. Therefore, when thinking about how to choose a good wife, it is important to remember:
If a girl does not provide her resources, does not want to provide, or her share is significantly less than a man's share, then she cannot have the privilege of being your wife.
When choosing a life partner, some psychologists advise following the example of millionaires who choose a company for investment.
How millionaires choose their wives
When choosing a wife, you need to have the same approach as millionaires choosing a company in which they want to invest their money.
When choosing a company to invest in, millionaires do not leave their choice to chance. They research the company well, considering all the pros and cons, and only then make decisions. At the same time, they sign the contract, having previously studied it, familiarizing themselves with all the pros and cons.
Conclusion: wanting to marry a girl, a guy should do this not only out of blind love for her, but also after first familiarizing himself with all her shortcomings and positive aspects. Only then will his decision be balanced.
This means he needs:
- take the choice of a wife seriously in order to eliminate the risk of losing property through a possible divorce in the future;
- the likelihood of divorce should be minimized, especially if the man is a successful and accomplished person. After all, it’s hard to believe that divorce is an accident if you initially chose your life partner incorrectly.
What a man needs to know when choosing a wife
- As a man ages, his chance to marry correctly and choose a good wife does not decrease, but only increases. For him, age is like a fine, aged wine. Wine does not age, it becomes more expensive! Therefore, you should wait a little and not rush into marriage. An acceptable age to start thinking about marriage is 27-30 years old - an acceptable age. (Of course, everyone decides for themselves). This is the age when choices are influenced more by reason than by feelings.
- A man should not look like a woman. Things that a wife should do do not apply to him, for example, decorating the apartment. Wives cannot have complete, absolute control over home decor. It is unlikely that men will want to live in emasculated rooms with flashy pillows, napkins, frills or flowers placed everywhere.
- Marriage should be traditionally old school. The husband is the head, the captain. The wife is a subordinate, the first assistant. This is a traditional marriage. If it's the other way around, then the marriage could end with alimony and seeing the kids once a week every weekend. Marriage is a big decision. Before you plunge headlong into it, you should make sure that you can “swim” well.
- As a rule, marriage with a woman of the same culture is the best solution, then it is easier for spouses to find a common language.
