Psychological violence: signs, types, how to cope


Psychological abuse. We usually have no problem recognizing physical violence. Its use causes pain and often leaves marks in the form of wounds, fractures and bruises. While not everyone can handle physical abuse, they can recognize it. In this regard, psychological violence is more problematic. Often the victim of psychological abuse does not know that he is dealing with abuse. It is also not always clear how to prove psychological violence, the traces of which are not obvious.

What is psychological violence?

Despite the prevalence of psychological violence, there is no generally accepted precise and complete definition of it. We can say that psychological violence is an impact on the human psyche that can lead to psychological trauma.

There are borderline cases when you can only suspect psychological violence by relying on your own feelings. If you feel bad around someone, there is reason to reflect and think critically about your experience.

The purpose of psychological violence is to weaken or completely kill your self-esteem and completely control you, to lead you to the idea that you cannot break off a pathological relationship or to impose that you cannot live without the offender.

You are prohibited from showing negative emotions

Nobody says “Don’t you dare cry!” or “Smile immediately!” But if you are sad or angry, they try very persistently to console you. And prove that your problems are not worth such strong emotions.

  • “Why are you so upset over such trifles?”
  • "Don't be upset! This has never happened to me before, and it’s okay, everything turned out okay.”

At first glance, this is just an attempt to cheer you up. But behind it there is often another motive: a person cannot stand other people’s negative emotions and wants to “hush them up” as quickly as possible. Maybe he empathizes with you a lot and your pain hurts him. Or maybe he’s just too lazy to bother with you and wants you to be comfortable and happy.

This approach is called toxic positivity, and it does not have the best effect on mental health. It is important for a person to live through his negative emotions, and not to push them deeper.

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