Respect is determined by a person’s behavior, manners, and ability to dress. The foundations of education are laid in childhood. Parents and people around them act as a model of behavior from which the child reads data and applies it in adulthood. A well-mannered person is distinguished by his adequacy and treats people with respect. Rules of behavior change under the influence of such factors: place of residence, status and religion of a person. Recently, publications have been published proving the influence of heredity on personality manners. What is education? Is this an innate or acquired quality?
What is good manners?
An educated person treats people with respect, regardless of the circumstances. At the same time, different requirements are placed on children and adults. It is enough for children to obey their parents and follow the rules established in the family. The respectfulness of an adult is manifested in following good manners and maintaining the norms of behavior accepted in a particular environment.
A well-educated person, being in society, takes into account what customs are inherited in the country or family. For example, in the East it is customary to pour an incomplete cup of tea to dear guests. By refilling the glass, the owners of the house once again show attention.
An adult has to maintain the level of education, since the world around does not stand still. Cultural trends and political views are changing. The foundations of manners are laid by parents, then a person educates himself.
A cultured person stands out through his gestures, facial expressions, and speech. During a conversation, a well-mannered person does not wave his arms, pronounces words in a calm tone, and does not grimace. Such a person reacts to the opinions of others, does not slander behind one’s back, and says sharp and caustic things. A person with impeccable manners is called diplomatic, tactful, polite.
What kind of educated person is he?
Standards of behavior are created by people. Therefore, there is disagreement in defining a respectful person. Such disputes are easy to resolve. Ask the people around you why they consider you a well-mannered person. We list the criteria that are recognized by society:
- Charm and pleasant communication. A well-mannered person radiates goodwill, speaks competently, and does not resort to a raised tone. People are drawn to such a person and surround him with attention.
- Intelligence. For many, this is synonymous with a cultural personality. An intelligent person is reserved, taciturn, and has self-esteem. Doesn't get out of balance, no matter what happens around you.
- Tactfulness and delicacy. A well-mannered person would rather remain silent than express an opinion that will offend his interlocutor. In conversation he does not use swear words and does not touch upon topics that are unpleasant to others.
- Respect. Not ostentatious quality and playing in public are noted. A well-mannered person will treat a stranger or a loved one with equal respect.
It is common to consider well-mannered people to be modest, quiet, downtrodden and without their own opinions. In fact, such a person is confident and self-sufficient, he does not need to prove anything to others.
Factors influencing good manners
Raising a child is not only about instilling kindness and good skills. Adults face betrayal, anger, and hatred in life. Therefore, it is important to take off your child’s rose-colored glasses in time. Tell your children instructive stories, analyze examples from life.
Since the skill is laid down from an early age, a person’s behavior and character are influenced by parents. What other factors influence education?
- Family relationships. A child in the womb reacts to light, sounds, and voices. Therefore, proper family relationships should be built not from the day the baby is born, but from the day of conception. Banal conflicts lead to serious quarrels. Adults are not ready to give in, they look for the extreme or the guilty. Make it a point to talk through scandals and admit when you're wrong. Show your child that love and understanding reign in your family. To help children learn to respect other people, consider their opinions and allow them to engage in debates. Let him learn to defend his point of view tactfully and reasonedly, and not with shouting and hysterics.
It is better to show by example once how a well-mannered person behaves than to explain the rules of behavior a hundred times.
- Environment. The mother or grandmother takes a greater part in raising the child. Cones fall on them if the child stumbles. The ideal parenting scheme is equal participation of mom and dad. But, in addition to communicating with parents, the child attends kindergarten, school, and clubs. Children watch TV, play computer games, read books. Education is formed under the influence of information received by the child outside the home. At the same time, in adolescence, outside opinions are valued more than the notations of relatives. In order not to lose your authority, take an interest in your child’s affairs, pay attention to him every day, analyzing together how the day went.
Do you want to grow a well-mannered personality? Forget about using force, do not reprimand the child in the presence of strangers. Let your children know every day that he is important to you. By instilling rules of behavior in a child, adults maintain their level of respect.
Underwater rocks
Thanks to the computerization of diagnostic technology, it has become much easier to obtain and process information on educational levels, and general conclusions indicate the reliability and reliability of the available data. But any pedagogical technology, including diagnostic technology, has both advantages and disadvantages.
Firstly, the diagnosis of good manners is an area that has not been sufficiently studied, and therefore its methodological basis has not been sufficiently developed. A teacher planning a diagnosis will be faced with the unreliability of certain methods, and the results he receives will not be sufficiently accurate and reliable.
Secondly, many methods used in diagnostics are labor-intensive and require a fairly large amount of time. For example, the accuracy of the observation results will depend on its duration.
Third, certain tools, such as questionnaires and interviews, are unlikely to provide accurate and reliable data.
The use of various methods and techniques for diagnosing good manners allows the teacher to holistically consider this phenomenon. Of course, there are some shortcomings and errors in the presented technology, but specialists successfully use it in their practical activities.
Good manners: an innate or acquired quality?
Previously, it was believed that if you surround a child with well-mannered people, then an angel will grow out of him. Research by scientists has proven the opposite. Education is influenced by parental efforts and genes. Physical abilities and health also contribute. It is not without reason that married couples who decide to adopt a child carefully study who the child was born to.
Scientists have proven that heredity influences a person’s upbringing. If identical twins are separated in infancy and given to different families, they will still have the same personality traits.
On the other hand, the rules of behavior laid down in the family influence a person. Communication problems, aggressiveness, non-standard actions are the consequences of upbringing. Callous parents raise aggressive teenagers. An unstable family situation leads to problems in adult life. Scientists have identified factors influencing poor upbringing: poverty, domestic violence, poor quality nutrition, bad habits among parents. It is possible to stop the destructive impact if you involve outside help. Participation of social services, completion of rehabilitation programs.
Whose side is the truth on? Is good manners an innate or acquired quality? In fact, the situation cannot be viewed one-sidedly. A person is born with a set of genes that influence character. At the same time, being in society, succumbing to the influence of others, the personality changes and builds a line of behavior. A person’s manners are formed in equal parts under the influence of:
- Hereditary factors. Includes the infant's character, vulnerability, and physical condition.
- Education. It is formed as a result of the attitude of parents and others towards the child, the presence of stressful situations and aggravating circumstances.
A person's personality is formed as a result of the interaction of heredity and upbringing. These two factors complement each other, connecting at certain stages of life. In the first three years, genes and biological data dominate. Then they weaken, and the baby’s environment joins in. During this period, genetic vulnerability manifests itself. Constant stress and depression change a person, affect respect and disrupt brain function. Scientists have proven that proper education can defeat genetic diseases.
Education as the goal and result of education
Let's start with the characteristics of the concept of "good manners", i.e. with what we want to get in the end and what we should focus on at the beginning of organizing targeted education. As experience shows, in each individual case, a family, a school, an out-of-school institution, or a children's organization strive to not only educate children, i.e. to give them this or that education, but also to educate them to one degree or another.
The question naturally arises: what are the main parameters of what we call good manners? There are different ways to answer this. Parents, teachers, and scientists working in this field answer it differently: there are practically no identical answers. Yes, perhaps it is not needed - this single standard set of those properties and qualities to the formation of which the efforts of the family and various educational and educational institutions should be directed. Of course, there were and are different “sets” of such “properties and qualities”, taking into account the characteristics of the population of children and adolescents, the tasks in the field of education that the school faces as an educational and training institution. We assumed that there should be such parameters of education, focusing on which each modern school could build its own model of an educational school. The main parameters of a child’s personal development in the field of education, in our opinion, are: his orientation towards universal human values, humanism, intelligence, responsibility, creativity, self-esteem, independence in judgments and actions, “self-construction”.
Why exactly these possible properties of a developing person should be considered a priority in the field of education in our time? Why are they called upon to play the role of the main indicators of his upbringing? Some clarification is required here.
Universal human values are, apparently, what all schoolchildren should be oriented towards from a very early age, regardless of their nationality, attitudes in the family, in the companies that unite them, regardless of their religion. A child is, first of all, an inhabitant of planet Earth, going out into outer space more and more consciously. He is a man of the world community, a citizen of his country, a student of his school, a member of his family and a future family man himself. Because of this, universal human values are what he should be introduced to from childhood.
A system of those universal human values to which schoolchildren should be oriented has been developed in pedagogy (V. A. Karakovsky). The degree to which schoolchildren master them is, in our opinion, the most important indicator of their education.
The most important indicator of a child’s upbringing is his humanism, kind attitude towards his peers, children, school staff, and the wildlife that surrounds him. Some (but not all) children are naturally (or due to home upbringing) humanistic. They are ready to share with their peers, console a crying baby, help carry notebooks to the teacher, or help the school nanny. They are not capable of offending a dog, breaking a branch, or trampling on flowers. Some yes, but not all. In order for humanism to become an indicator of good manners for all (or at least the majority) of children, it is necessary to purposefully instill it and develop it as a personality trait.
The most important indicator of a person’s upbringing (and especially in modern conditions) is his intelligence, considered as a person’s personal property. Intellectuals are not born, they become under the influence of family, loved ones, school teachers, older friends, in the process of communicating with them and a soft, non-intrusive influence on their judgments and behavior. Intelligence is expressed in a respectful attitude towards people encountered on their way, in the manner of conversation, in the ability to listen to the interlocutor, in the absence of importunity in communication, in the desire to understand another, to sympathize with him.
The next particularly significant personality trait of a child is his creativity. While developing in a child such qualities as diligence and responsibility for the assigned task, we must not forget that a child, like any person, is not a robot, not an automaton, not only an executor of the will of adults, but also a dreamer, a creator, a creator of new things. (even if at first only for yourself and your loved ones). For different children, their creativity manifests itself in different ways, and primarily in the process of realizing their fantasies. Sometimes these attempts are successful, then the child feels like a creator. Sometimes - no, then he tries himself in something else and tries to achieve success in this other, introducing something of his own, new into it. This creative principle in a child must be guessed and helped to develop in himself, because it can introduce him to the world of his future profession, or it can become his life hobby. It is important to develop the creative principles that are genetically inherent in every normal child. Children are very different: one writes poetry from childhood, tells fairy tales he has composed; another gets to the inner essence of his toys; the third is looking for his own original ways to solve the problem assigned to the class; the fourth gathers the kids around him and selflessly entertains them.
Among the main properties of a developing personality should be the properties of independence, freedom of judgment, opinions, and freedom of action. By nature, from the first steps of life, a child is inclined to such independence and tries to assert himself, his independence among other people (and not only his peers). But by instilling in him over time such a trait as obedience, we often deprive him of independence, freedom, and deprive him of his “self.” An independent child, free from countless prohibitions, should not at all turn into a disobedient child, free from any prohibitions and rules of human society. “Freedom must be (to repeat the common formula) within the limits of what is permitted.” She must act in tandem with responsibility, but not only for herself and her actions, but also with responsibility for the team, her school, her small homeland.
Responsibility as a personality trait is also an indicator of good manners, especially in combination with freedom. A person must be responsible for his words, for his actions, for the assigned work, for everything that depends on him. But people are not born with a sense of responsibility. It is specially formed from childhood, through familiarizing the child with his responsibilities, through analysis of relevant situations in the lives of other people, inclusion in activities as a responsible person for one or another part of it, through analysis and assessment of the personal results he has achieved in the general endeavor.
The last characteristic of a developing personality, an indicator of its upbringing, is its “self-construction,” including self-knowledge, self-esteem, self-design and self-realization.
Actually, when we characterize a child’s personality as a subject of education, we mean his functions not only in relation to others, but also to himself. After all, it is possible (and necessary) to become an individual and develop as an individual not only under the influence of other people (parents, teachers, peers) or under the influence of external influences, but also as a result of one’s own purposeful efforts associated with self-knowledge, with self-esteem based on such knowledge , based on the design of one’s education, oneself and one’s future, one’s own efforts to implement “self-projects,” i.e., self-realization.
We have given the characteristics of personal qualities, which, in our opinion, should form the basis of goal setting, the formation of which should be aimed at education as a purposeful process. These are the general contours of such a process, those properties on the formation and development of which education should be oriented.
At the same time, the question inevitably arises: why are there no qualities among these very important qualities for a person developing in modern conditions, for example, such as national self-awareness, entrepreneurship, concern for one’s neighbor, leadership qualities, etc. They are not there for the reason that, firstly, “you cannot embrace the immensity”, and secondly, some of those properties and qualities that are necessary for a modern person in his future adult life are irrational to cultivate from childhood. Thus, it is hardly advisable to cultivate entrepreneurial spirit in a person from childhood; it is hardly necessary to raise all children as future leaders. In this area, of course, “sets” of different variants of those very properties are possible, the formation and development of which should be oriented toward education. Nevertheless, this “set” must exist visibly or invisibly in the activities of each educational institution, in the consciousness and activities of each educator.
Purposeful upbringing, i.e. conscious management of the process of personality development through the special creation of favorable conditions for this, may not be carried out for one reason or another, and the individual may end up being educated at the expense of the family. But how can we educate an entire generation? This problem is especially relevant in our time: for not every family is a center of purposeful humanistic education, and the environment surrounding the school today is by no means always favorable for the personal development of the child. In such conditions, apparently, it is the school that is called upon to play a special role, and the school is not only teaching, but also educating. It can become educational, first of all, through the creation within its framework of a humanistic educational system[16].
ACCORDING TO THE ARTICLE:
SELIVANOVA N.
How to become an educated person?
Surveys have shown that the level of education is falling. Other behavior patterns contribute to this. If we go back to the recent past, we can see that representatives of the fairer sex were raised in institutions for noble maidens. In addition to education, girls were taught communication skills and decent manners. The gait was practiced, refined taste was instilled, and attention was paid to behavior. The boys strived to get into cadet schools, where, in addition to military wisdom, they learned responsibility, composure, and politeness. Today, government institutions assign a role to education, but not to upbringing. Giving all the cards into the hands of the parents. But not all adults are ready to raise a worthy unit of society.
How to become an educated person?
- Analyze your behavior. Think about which aspects or character traits you would like to improve. Then ask your friends to give you a description. Work on your negative and weak points.
- Respect others. Start by eliminating negative thoughts. Don't let yourself think badly about other people. Before you speak out or give advice, think about whether you would like to hear such words addressed to you.
- Communicate with people at ease. People perceive the inability to carry on a conversation as bad manners. After all, such a person remains silent or says nonsense. Tightness, timidity, and lack of self-confidence lead to the fact that a person is embarrassed to speak out. To avoid being branded as an ill-mannered person, learn to communicate with people.
- Find the ideal. At first, you will need a role model to form the basics. Look for a well-mannered person among your friends. A movie or book character will do. If there is no suitable example, then make new acquaintances, communicate with people more often, note what character traits you like, and learn from experience.
- Accept other people's opinions. Sharp jokes directed at a person, ridiculing behavior or clothing indicate a lack of upbringing. Each personality manifests itself in its own way and does not need to impose your opinion. You cannot make fun of people with physical or mental disabilities.
Education is formed as a result of heredity and the contribution of parents and the public. A person can improve this skill by working on himself. The level of good manners manifests itself in non-standard situations. If the behavior is superficial, then under stress the person will break down and show true emotions. Good breeding, given by nature and acquired over the course of life, attracts people with manners, sophistication, and a person’s ability to communicate and look dignified.
And some other diagnostic methods
When studying the phenomenon under consideration, we must not forget that, by determining the level of education, the experimenter also diagnoses the moral essence of a person. In connection with this fact, individual conclusions about upbringing may include data reflecting all personality characteristics, because these qualities are closely interrelated.
Diagnosis of good manners also includes a biographical method, analysis of activity products, etc. It is worth noting that not a single technique is completely universal, because there are some requirements for their use. Therefore, if an experimenter wants to obtain voluminous, reliable data, he must use a number of methods and the entire range of diagnostic tools.
Using multiple methods provides the following options:
- A clear and complete analysis of personality traits.
- Reduced subjectivity in assessing education, because the obtained facts were obtained from various diagnostic methods.
- Determining the disadvantages and shortcomings in the educational process of students.
