Formation of a child’s personality: concept, phases of development, factors influencing development, significance and mistakes of parents in the formation of personality.

Forming a child’s personality is the first step in preparing him for adulthood. This is an important task for parents and society, and it is not limited to just teaching certain skills. To raise a mature personality, it is necessary not only to tell him about discipline, self-care and the like, but also to instill moral and ethical standards and spiritual values.

What is personality formation

Personality formation is a complex process that is not interrupted at any stage of human life. Simply put, it is infinite. The very concept of “personality” is very multifaceted, and there are two popular professional views on this phenomenon. One of them says that the formation of a child’s personality depends on natural innate data. The second opinion indicates that personality is a social phenomenon, and only society influences its formation.

In fact, the entire period of a person’s life, from birth to adulthood, is a process of personal growth or degradation. It is believed that development occurs in activities that are significant to the individual. The driving force can be called internal contradictions between the needs of a growing child and the real possibility of their implementation. The child’s activities are almost always determined by the parents and, to one degree or another, directed by them. Conclusion: the process of upbringing is the leading factor in the formation of a child’s personality.

Definition

The phenomenon of family is studied by philosophers, historians, psychologists, and writers. There are dozens of definitions of this concept; the most succinct one calls the family the cell of society in which the birth, formation and development of a person takes place. The psychology and behavior of the person living there, as well as success in life, depend on how harmonious the relationship is and how comfortable the home is.

It would not be an exaggeration to say that the role of the family in the development of personality is fateful. It is primarily through the efforts of parents (or spouses who founded the unit of society), and secondarily through other relatives, that the education system is laid out and implemented. What it will be like (including its effectiveness) depends on the way of life of past generations, on the emotional and physical health of parents and children themselves, financial and social situation, place of residence and many other factors. It is fair to say that a person is educated by absolutely everything that surrounds him.

If the educational measures chosen by the parents are correct, then this very quickly begins to manifest itself: first in the child’s preschool and school age, then in work and social activity. Also, the wrongly chosen vector in raising children becomes visible already when the child begins to attend preschool educational institutions.

The spiritual culture of a person is also developing, and a social orientation is being formed. Since their small team represents a micromodel of the whole society for children, at home they learn to interact with other people, form life attitudes and make plans for the future.

A person learns to get to know others, starting with his closest people. Ideally, people living under the same roof build warm relationships with each other and become a small team in which everyone has their own role. Through this role, a person enriches himself and enriches the lives of his loved ones, giving them every chance for self-realization.

Nowadays, when society and the media are doing everything to destroy the integrity of the individual, the family is that stronghold of love, purity and comfort where a person finds himself and shows his best qualities that will help him fulfill his mission in life.

Phases of personality development

There are three phases in the formation of a child’s personality

Adaptation

Lasts from birth until adolescence. The individual assimilates social experience - he adapts, imitates, adapts. During adaptation, there is an active adoption of social norms and mastery of various forms of activity. Having shown his own individuality in the group, the child cannot express himself as an individual until he masters the norms existing in the group.

He feels the need to be like others, adapting as much as possible in society. We can talk about a kindergarten or school.

Group activities can provoke the emergence of favorable conditions for the formation of the child’s personality and those traits that were not previously inherent in the individual, but which are characteristic of other members of the group.

Personalization

The child has a desire to oppose himself to others, to stand out. A critical attitude towards the norms of society and established social rules is formed. The impetus for individualization is the contradiction between the result of adaptation and the need for personalization that was not satisfied at the initial stage. The search begins for methods that help in gaining individuality and fixing it. This can manifest itself in behavior, clothing, speech, and so on. If, during the formation of a child’s personality, he has successfully coped with adaptation, then gradually he begins to understand that individuality is being lost. The individual mobilizes internal resources and begins to search for a society capable of providing the necessary personalization.

Integration

The child has a desire to find his place in society, to fit into society. Integration is easy if society accepts the person. Other results are also possible. A person tries in every possible way to preserve his difference, which leads to aggressive interaction with society and people. Integration is characterized by contradictions between the subject’s desire to demonstrate his own individuality and the community’s desire to cultivate and approve only those individual qualities of the subject that correspond to its preferences.

Child development

D. Winnicott, studying the family and human development in it, noted, speaking about raising children: “Feeding for a child is the least of all feeding.” Any processes that are aimed at satisfying the simplest, basic needs, in fact also satisfy emotional needs. And this is especially important in relation to children.

From the moment of birth, a child is a social being. In the family, he learns to correctly build social roles and find his own among them. Human social behavior is also formed in childhood and under the influence of the behavior patterns of parents in relation to each other.

If the emotional function is correctly implemented at home, then the child learns attachment. This means that he is trained to build relationships with loved ones and take them to the next level. Very often this - the ability to be attached, to love and care for others - is not present in children who grew up outside the family or with marginal, dysfunctional parents.

But with the birth of a baby, the educational function of the family is carried out not only in relation to him. All those who surround him – parents and relatives – also develop. They discover and cultivate new qualities in themselves - the ability for selfless love, boundless tenderness, and care. People learn to create and maintain a good psychological climate at home and become an example of wisdom and love.

What factors influence the development of a child’s personality?

Many factors influence the formation of a child's personality. From a number of theories put forward by various psychologists, the main idea should be highlighted: personality development occurs on the basis of natural data, self-awareness and life experience. Formation begins at an early age.

Internal factors influencing: temperament, inherent at the genetic level. External factors: upbringing, social level, environment, and even the current era.

Many experts believe that genes have a significant influence on personality, containing information about the ancestors of the mother and father. A newborn person continues two genera at once. This does not mean that he will receive their character traits or talents. Nature will provide him with a basis for development, and all he has to do is use it.

The significance of the biological factor is high. This explains how people who grow up under the same conditions become unique and exhibit opposite qualities. Biological factors are the basis for the formation of a child’s personality. Socialization plays an equally significant role. Development occurs in stages. The perception of the world is influenced by the upbringing received by a person and the example of his parents.

Stages of family development

Since the family is not just a unit of society, but actually a living organism, it has its own stages, or stages of development. If people manage to maintain warm relationships with each other and carry them through the years, then they can not only plant a beautiful tree - create a family - but also reap the fruits over time.

There are seven main stages through which every marriage goes:

The “candy-bouquet period” is the period that anticipates the creation of a social unit. But during it, not only feelings are born between two people. The way they communicate with each other and the model on which the future family will be built are born.
Creating a family. Usually this involves marriage; in the modern world, not everyone considers it necessary to seal their love on paper. Therefore, the moment of creating a family can be considered the moment when people begin living together. Whether there is a future for a young couple becomes clear based on how people resolve contradictions with each other, of which there are many, because everyone has their own experience behind them, including the experience of living in their parents’ home.
The appearance of children. As soon as the first child is born, the functions of the spouses expand. Now a woman is no longer only a wife, but also a mother, and a man is both a husband and a father. Social roles become more pronounced, and marriage increasingly shows its educational function.
Family maturity. After several years have passed since the creation of the family, it is already a team with a complex internal organization. Not only can a second child and subsequent ones appear, but the worldview, goals, and dreams of the spouses also change. If the family functions correctly, then it contributes to the implementation of the tasks and life mission of everyone in it.
The period of living with adult children. When children grow up and reach adulthood, they gradually move further and further away from their parents' home, often moving to live separately. These are new conditions in which spouses need to learn to live. At this moment, social roles within the social unit change again. But, if support and love remain, then the marriage is preserved and begins to play with new colors.
The period when all the children left their father's house. The spouses, left alone again, as at the dawn of their family life, must again learn to feel and understand each other and themselves. Very often at this time people begin to develop with a vengeance - because they have time for themselves, their hobbies and dreams.
Pension. Life needs to be reshaped again when both spouses retire. One of the roles they played in life - the roles of employee, boss or subordinate - disappears. This is a wonderful time when you can fully realize yourself: travel, learn new things, plunge into creativity with the support of loved ones.

Each stage is beautiful in its own way and allows the individual to develop in new directions. Also, all of them involve crises - the crisis of the first year, seven years, etc. The more consciously people approach living together, the easier it is for them to overcome these crises and draw conclusions and positive aspects from them: the opportunity to make themselves, their family and the world around them harmonious.

Education and personality formation in the family: the importance of parents

Psychologists are convinced that parents have a decisive influence on a child’s personality, his perception of the world, feelings and aspirations. The relationship between father and mother, as well as between other relatives, is important to him. The attitude of the family directly towards the child plays a huge role.

The surrounding social environment also influences the formation of personality. Education is a purposeful process of influencing a person, and it is precisely this that is at the basis of the cultivation of personality.

Many people ask the question: “What plays a decisive role in personal development and consciousness - natural forces, social environment?” It is impossible to single out anything separately, but it is obvious that the first years of human life are fundamental. Children growing up in a family largely adopt their parents’ behavior, attitudes, and values. Subsequently, the personality may acquire additional minor touches, but it is in childhood that the foundation is laid. If the father and mother pay little attention to the baby, then he receives “material” for development from other available sources, which are not always beneficial. Parents should remember this and take care of daily quality interaction with their child. At an early age, reading fairy tales helps a lot, as it instills in the child an understanding of good and evil. Be sure to analyze what you read and think through other options for developing the story.

The role of the family in raising an independent personalitymaterial on the topic

The role of the family in raising an independent personality

(report)

Traditionally, the main institution of education is the family. What a child acquires in the family during childhood, he retains throughout his entire subsequent life. The importance of the family as an educational institution is due to the fact that the child stays in it for a significant part of his life, and in terms of the duration of its impact on the individual, none of the educational institutions can compare with the family. It lays the foundations of the child’s personality, and by the time he enters school, he is already more than half formed as a person.

The family can act as both a positive and negative factor in education. The positive impact on the child’s personality is that no one, except the people closest to him in the family - mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, brother, sister, treats the child better, loves him and cares so much about him. And at the same time, no other social institution can potentially cause as much harm in raising children as a family can do.

The family is a special kind of collective that plays a basic, long-term and most important role in education. Anxious mothers often have anxious children; ambitious parents often suppress their children so much that this leads to the appearance of an inferiority complex; an unrestrained father who loses his temper at the slightest provocation often, without knowing it, forms a similar type of behavior in his children, etc.

In connection with the special educational role of the family, the question arises of how to maximize the positive and minimize the negative influences of the family on the upbringing of the child. To do this, it is necessary to accurately determine intrafamily socio-psychological factors that have educational significance.

The main thing in raising a little person is to achieve spiritual unity, a moral connection between parents and child. In no case should parents let the upbringing process take its course and at an older age, leave the matured child alone with himself.

It is in the family that the child receives his first life experience, makes his first observations and learns how to behave in various situations. It is very important that what we teach a child is supported by specific examples, so that he can see that in adults, theory does not diverge from practice. (If your child sees that his mom and dad, who tell him every day that lying is wrong, without noticing it themselves, deviate from this rule, all upbringing can go down the drain.)

Each parent sees in their children their continuation, the realization of certain attitudes or ideals. And it is very difficult to retreat from them.

Conflict situation between parents - different approaches to raising children.

The first task of parents is to find a common solution and convince each other. If a compromise has to be made, it is imperative that the basic requirements of the parties are satisfied. When one parent makes a decision, he must remember the position of the other.

The second task is to make sure that the child does not see contradictions in the positions of the parents, i.e. It is better to discuss these issues without him.

Children quickly “grasp” what is said and quite easily maneuver between their parents, seeking momentary benefits (usually in the direction of laziness, poor studies, disobedience, etc.).

When making a decision, parents should put in the first place not their own views, but what will be more useful for the child.

In communication, adults and children develop the following principles of communication:

1) Acceptance of the child, i.e. the child is accepted for who he is.

2) Empathy (sympathy) - an adult looks at problems through the eyes of a child and accepts his position.

3) Congruence. It assumes an adequate attitude on the part of an adult to what is happening.

Parents may love a child for no reason, despite the fact that he is ugly, not smart, and neighbors complain about him. The child is accepted for who he is. (Unconditional love)

Perhaps parents love it when the child meets their expectations. when he studies and behaves well. but if the child does not satisfy those needs, then the child is, as it were, rejected, the attitude changes for the worse. This brings significant difficulties, the child is not confident in his parents, he does not feel the emotional security that should be there from infancy. (conditional love)

The child may not be accepted by the parents at all. He is indifferent to them and may even be rejected by them (for example, a family of alcoholics). But maybe in a prosperous family (for example, he was not long-awaited, there were serious problems, etc.) the parents do not necessarily realize this. But there are purely subconscious moments (for example, the mother is beautiful, but the girl is ugly and withdrawn.)

Each family objectively develops a certain system of upbringing that is not always conscious of it. Here we mean an understanding of the goals of education, the formulation of its tasks, and a more or less targeted application of methods and techniques of education, taking into account what can and cannot be allowed in relation to the child. Four tactics of upbringing in the family can be distinguished and four types of family relationships corresponding to them, which are both a prerequisite and a result of their occurrence: dictate, guardianship, “non-interference” and cooperation.

Diktat in the family is manifested in the systematic behavior of some family members (mainly adults) and the initiative and self-esteem of other family members.

Parents, of course, can and should make demands on their child based on the goals of education, moral standards, and specific situations in which it is necessary to make pedagogically and morally justified decisions. However, those of them who prefer order and violence to all types of influence are faced with the resistance of a child who responds to pressure, coercion, and threats with his own countermeasures: hypocrisy, deception, outbursts of rudeness, and sometimes outright hatred. But even if resistance turns out to be broken, many valuable personality traits are broken along with it: independence, self-esteem, initiative, faith in oneself and in one’s capabilities. Reckless authoritarianism of parents, ignorance of the interests and opinions of the child, systematic deprivation of his right to vote in resolving issues pertaining to him - all this is a guarantee of serious failures in the formation of his personality.

Family guardianship is a system of relationships in which parents, while ensuring through their work that all the child’s needs are met, protect him from any worries, efforts and difficulties, taking them upon himself. The question of active personality formation fades into the background. At the center of educational influences is another problem - meeting the child’s needs and protecting him from difficulties. Parents, in fact, block the process of seriously preparing their children to face reality beyond the threshold of their home. It is these children who turn out to be more unadapted to life in a group. According to psychological observations, it is this category of adolescents that produces the largest number of breakdowns during adolescence. It is these children, who seem to have nothing to complain about, who begin to rebel against excessive parental care. If dictate implies violence, order, strict authoritarianism, then guardianship means care, protection from difficulties. However, the result is largely the same: children lack independence, initiative, they are somehow removed from resolving issues that personally concern them, and even more so general family problems.

The system of interpersonal relations in the family, built on the recognition of the possibility and even expediency of independent existence of adults from children, can be generated by the tactics of “non-interference”. It is assumed that two worlds can coexist: adults and children, and neither one nor the other should cross the line thus drawn. Most often, this type of relationship is based on the passivity of parents as educators.

Cooperation as a type of relationship in a family presupposes the mediation of interpersonal relationships in the family by common goals and objectives of joint activity, its organization and high moral values. It is in this situation that the child’s selfish individualism is overcome. A family where the leading type of relationship is cooperation acquires a special quality and becomes a group of a high level of development - a team.

The style of family education and the values accepted in the family are of great importance in the development of self-esteem.

3 styles of family education:

- democratic

- authoritarian

- conniving

In a democratic style, the interests of the child are taken into account first. “Consent” style.

In an authoritarian style, parents impose their opinions on the child. “Suppression” style.

With the permissive style, the child is left to his own devices.

A preschooler sees himself through the eyes of close adults who are raising him. If the family's assessments and expectations do not correspond to the child's age and individual characteristics, his self-image seems distorted.

M.I. Lisina traced the development of self-awareness of preschoolers depending on the characteristics of family upbringing. Children with an accurate idea of themselves are raised in families where parents devote a lot of time to them; positively assess their physical and mental data, but do not consider their level of development higher than that of most peers; predict good performance at school. These children are often rewarded, but not with gifts; They are punished mainly by refusal to communicate. Children with a low self-image grow up in families that do not teach them, but demand obedience; they are judged low, often reproached, punished, sometimes in front of strangers; they are not expected to succeed in school or achieve significant achievements in later life.

A child’s adequate and inappropriate behavior depends on the conditions of upbringing in the family.

Children who have low self-esteem are dissatisfied with themselves. This happens in a family where parents constantly blame the child or set excessive goals for him. The child feels that he does not meet the requirements of his parents. (Do not tell your child that he is ugly; this creates complexes that are then impossible to get rid of.)

Inadequacy can also manifest itself with inflated self-esteem. This happens in a family where the child is often praised, and gifts are given for little things and achievements (the child gets used to material rewards). The child is punished very rarely, the system of demands is very soft.

Adequate representation - here we need a flexible system of punishment and praise. Admiration and praise with him are excluded. Gifts are rarely given for actions. Extreme harsh punishments are not used.

In families where children with high, but not inflated self-esteem grow up, attention to the child’s personality (his interests, tastes, relationships with friends) is combined with sufficient demands. Here they do not resort to humiliating punishment and willingly praise when the child deserves it. Children with low self-esteem (not necessarily very low) enjoy greater freedom at home, but this freedom, in essence, is a lack of control, a consequence of parents’ indifference to their children and to each other.

School performance is an important criterion for assessing a child as an individual by adults and peers. The attitude towards oneself as a student is largely determined by family values. For a child, those qualities that his parents care most about come to the fore - maintaining prestige (questions are asked at home: “Who else got an A?”), obedience (“Were you scolded today?”), etc. In the self-awareness of a small schoolchild, the emphasis shifts when parents are concerned not with educational, but with everyday moments in his school life (“Isn’t there a breeze in the classroom from the windows?”, “What did you have for breakfast?”), or they don’t care about anything at all - school life is not discussed or debated formally. A rather indifferent question: “What happened at school today?” sooner or later will lead to the corresponding answer: “Nothing special,” “Everything is fine.”

Parents also set the initial level of the child’s aspirations – what he aspires to in educational activities and relationships. Children with a high level of aspirations, high self-esteem and prestigious motivation expect only success. Their ideas about the future are equally optimistic.

Children with low aspirations and low self-esteem do not aspire to much, either in the future or in the present. They do not set high goals for themselves and constantly doubt their capabilities; they quickly come to terms with the level of performance that develops at the beginning of their studies.

Anxiety may become a personality trait at this age. High anxiety becomes stable with constant dissatisfaction with studies on the part of parents. Let's say a child gets sick, lags behind his classmates and finds it difficult to get involved in the learning process. If the temporary difficulties he experiences irritate adults, anxiety arises, fear of doing something bad, wrong. The same result is achieved in a situation where the child studies quite successfully, but the parents expect more and make inflated, unrealistic demands.

Due to the increase in anxiety and associated low self-esteem, educational achievements decrease and failure is consolidated. Lack of self-confidence leads to a number of other features - the desire to mindlessly follow the instructions of an adult, to act only according to samples and templates, fear of taking initiative, formal assimilation of knowledge and methods of action.

Adults, dissatisfied with the child’s declining educational productivity, focus more and more on these issues when communicating with him, which increases emotional discomfort. It turns out to be a vicious circle: the child’s unfavorable personal characteristics are reflected in his educational activities, low performance results in a corresponding reaction from others, and this negative reaction, in turn, strengthens the child’s existing characteristics. You can break this circle by changing your parents’ attitudes and assessments. Close adults, focusing attention on the slightest achievements of the child. Without blaming him for individual shortcomings, they reduce his level of anxiety and thereby contribute to the successful completion of educational tasks.

The second option is demonstrativeness - a personality trait associated with an increased need for success and attention from others. The source of demonstrativeness is usually the lack of attention of adults to children who feel abandoned and “unloved” in the family. But it happens that the child receives enough attention, but it does not satisfy him due to the exaggerated need for emotional contacts. Excessive demands on adults are made not by neglected children, but, on the contrary, by the most spoiled children. Such a child will seek attention, even breaking the rules of behavior. (“It’s better to be scolded than not noticed”). The task of adults is to do without lectures and edifications, make comments as less emotionally as possible, not pay attention to minor offenses and punish for major ones (say, by refusing a planned trip to the circus). This is much more difficult for an adult than caring for an anxious child.

If for a child with high anxiety the main problem is the constant disapproval of adults, then for a demonstrative child it is a lack of praise.

The third option is “escaping reality.” It is observed in cases where demonstrativeness in children is combined with anxiety. These children also have a strong need for attention to themselves, but they cannot realize it due to their anxiety. They are little noticeable, are afraid of causing disapproval with their behavior, and strive to fulfill the demands of adults. An unsatisfied need for attention leads to an increase in even greater passivity and invisibility, which complicates already insufficient contacts. When adults encourage children to be active, pay attention to the results of their educational activities and search for ways of creative self-realization, a relatively easy correction of their development is achieved.

4 ways to support conflict situations:

1. Avoiding the problem (purely business communication)

2. Peace at any cost (for an adult, the relationship with a child is most valuable). By turning a blind eye to negative actions, an adult does not help the teenager, but, on the contrary, encourages the child’s negative forms of behavior.

3. Victory at any cost (an adult strives to win, trying to suppress unnecessary forms of child behavior. If he loses in one thing, he will strive to win in another. This situation is endless.)

4. Productive (compromise option). This option assumes partial victory in both camps. We definitely need to go towards this together, i.e. it must be the result of a joint decision.

After their parents divorce, boys often become uncontrollable, lose self-control, and at the same time show increased anxiety. These characteristic behavioral traits are especially noticeable during the first months of life after divorce, and by two years after it they are smoothed out. The same pattern, but with less pronounced negative symptoms, is observed in the behavior of girls after their parents’ divorce.

Thus, in order to maximize the positive and minimize the negative influence of the family on the upbringing of a child, it is necessary to remember intra-family psychological factors that have educational significance:

o Take an active part in family life;

o Always find time to talk with your child;

o Take an interest in the child’s problems, delve into all the difficulties that arise in his life and help develop his skills and talents;

o Do not put any pressure on the child, thereby helping him make his own decisions;

o Have an understanding of the different stages in a child's life;

o Respect the child’s right to his own opinion;

o Be able to restrain possessive instincts and treat the child as an equal partner who simply has less life experience;

o Respect the desire of all other family members to pursue a career and improve themselves.

What mistakes do parents make when raising individuals?

When shaping a child’s personality, it is important for parents to avoid such common mistakes.

Categorical prohibition

The main mistake of education. Be patient with your baby and respect him. Without learning to understand it, parents make inevitable mistakes that lead to mental and physical problems. By ignoring the desires and interests of the child, responding to most of them with categorical prohibitions, you can even skip the initial stage of some disease. Example: you notice that the child has started eating lime. The first reaction of most parents: dissatisfaction, screaming, a ban on approaching the wall. Correct reaction: visit the doctor. The doctor will probably tell you that there is a lack of calcium salts in the baby’s body. In addition, such an attitude will create in the child a desire to perform certain actions on the sly. Many become secretive and distrustful.

Overprotection

When shaping a child’s personality, overprotection is not the best helper. Excessive care can have a negative effect on the baby. When he reaches a certain age and tries to show independence, this is often met with hostility. Example: a child wants to use a spoon himself, but the mother, fearing that he will get dirty or not be able to cope, continues to feed him herself.

Overprotection manifests itself in violent action, which can result in the emergence of neurosis. In other cases, guardianship unless absolutely necessary can result in the child never being able to make friends, because the mother and grandmother are always nearby. The individual may have difficulties with socialization; he does not acquire the ability to express and defend his opinion. Possible consequences: psychological problems that can only be eliminated with the assistance of specialists.

Excessive demands

For the full development of a child’s personality, it is necessary that he not only knows, but also understands what is allowed and what is prohibited. If you show excessive demands on him, without giving clear explanations of the reasons why you need to do as you say, then this will not lead to good. What traits will the personality acquire? Irritability, stubbornness. The best option: parents explain in detail the reasons for their demands, and over time they become the child’s personal beliefs.

Notations

The first factor provoking children's protest is lengthy lectures. Parents often believe that their child will learn information better by listening to long and repetitive lectures. There is no need for them. This approach has no constructive component. Particularly taboo is other children being held up as examples. Gradually, the child will begin to perceive them as personal enemies. Boring notations often cause a negative reaction, losing their educational value.

Immense pampering of a child

Parents who spoil their children too much create a big problem. This phenomenon is no less negative than lack of influence. Spoiled children, who do not know anything to be denied, who have no responsibilities, eventually face the impossibility of overcoming even minor life obstacles and problems. When a situation arises when their desires and reality do not coincide, they lead to overstrain of the nervous system, which can result in a breakdown.

Principles of family education

The essence of the principles of upbringing in the family comes down to the following general provisions:

Respect for the child's wishes, needs and interests;
Recognition of the baby as a full member not only of family society, but also of the social environment;
Perception of the advantages and disadvantages of a person as his individuality;
Formulation of requirements corresponding to the age and individual abilities of the child;
Creating an atmosphere that meets comfort in the emotional, mental and physical sphere;
Providing the necessary assistance in difficult life circumstances for children;
Compliance with consistency and regularity of requirements.

The family as a sociocultural habitat instills in its younger members the main norms of social and moral morality at a subconscious level. After all, the baby, without hesitation, repeats the behavior of adults. At the same time, the specificity of “repetitions” in the family is based on the emotional background.

Based on the foregoing, it becomes obvious that education begins with the family and continues in a new unit of society, which is created by grown and formed individuals.

At the same time, the negative impact of parental education manifests itself just as clearly as the positive one.

Let's consider factors that do not contribute to the harmonious development of a growing person, but hinder the developing personality:

Excessive attention to material values;
Lack or lack of things necessary for normal life;
Insufficient attention to moral and spiritual development;
Authoritarianism, suppression of one’s own interests, thoughts and aspirations of children, imposition of one’s opinion;
Lack of punishment, encouraging permissiveness;
Cruelty, the use of physical violence as punishment;
Fanaticism in following the chosen method of education.

It should be noted that the concepts of positive and negative factors influencing a child are not categorical. The only exceptions include unlawful acts of adults and cases of physical violence in the family. In all other cases, the choice of methods, principles and content of family education depends solely on the individual characteristics and characteristics of the social unit.

What conditions will ensure successful personality formation?

Important conditions for the formation of a child’s personality.

Example of parents

It is important for a child to see that mom and dad do not follow a certain script, but really live a happy and fulfilling life. It is impossible to make another person happy if you yourself are unhappy. Many psychologists note that people who do not experience inner harmony often complain about problems in relationships with children. Only happy parents will be able to truly understand their child by building a trusting relationship with him. This contributes to the successful formation of personality. When trying to help your child with this, start with yourself. Reflect: do you know how to accept your feelings, do you allow yourself to truly be happy and sad. Or maybe you are restraining yourself and teaching your child excessive restraint, thereby suppressing his personality.

Communication with others

Show by example how to communicate with other people. Give yourself a little test by honestly answering the question: “Are you able to have an unbiased conversation with a person with whom you disagree in some aspects?” Is there a possibility that you are trying to impose an opinion on another person or are you submitting to someone else’s will? The child will probably adopt this feature from you.

Don’t impose your opinion and position – just share your values. Have you heard the definition of “heartfelt conversation”? Such dialogues arise when a person is ready to understand the interlocutor and share his opinion. In relationships, a person develops, allow yourself to learn new things and teach this to your child.

Care and attention

A person who has felt care and attention at the dawn of development will certainly feel confident and protected. Mother and father become important life references, exerting serious influence. It is great if a mother can demonstrate such qualities as forgiveness, acceptance, love. The child needs to feel affection and warmth. In a father, strictness and gentleness are important, acting undividedly.

Parents are the most important stage in the formation of personality. Everyone knows the words that raising children should begin with their own upbringing. Start with yourself if you want to help your child’s personality acquire important facets.

What 7 parenting mistakes do scientists identify?

Parents do not allow their children to take risks.

Lack of risk leads to ignorance of the realities of life. The world is not simple and not nice. If parents constantly look after and care for their baby, giving 24-hour protection from any troubles, then they develop arrogance and low self-esteem in him.

The child must fall and kick his leg in order to understand what follows his actions. A teenager must endure the suffering of his first failed love in order to mature emotionally. By taking risks, trying, getting into different situations, he learns about real life.

Parents rush too quickly to help their child.

Trying to help every time, in the very first second to begin to correct mistakes and solve all the consequences of the child’s actions, mothers and fathers develop helplessness in him. Firstly, the child begins to think that in case of failure, someone will always solve his problems. Someone will definitely clear up the unpleasant consequences. In ordinary life, no one is going to help an adult. If a child does not learn to solve difficult situations on his own, then he will be unadapted to real life.

Excessive enthusiasm.

If parents admire their son/daughter for any reason, this leads to increased self-esteem. This direction has become encouraged in recent years. However, research shows that children begin to lie, cheat and exaggerate when they realize that only their parents admire them and others do not see anything special about them. The inability to face difficulties and perceive themselves adequately forces children to look for other ways to obtain familiar and pleasant delight.

Encourage everyone without exception.

The inability to show children the realities of life leads to the fact that they inadequately evaluate their own actions and words. Parents often want to praise their child who has done a good deed, but not deprive other children of praise who have done nothing to achieve success. Children stop seeing the need to make efforts and work, even if they are praised even in the absence of achievements. The understanding of cause-and-effect relationships is lost when in the real world a person achieves success only after doing something for his sake, taking action, limiting his desires and straining if necessary. Parents should learn to say “no” and “not now.” Praise only for the fact that your son/daughter has achieved some (even small) success.

The desire to edify and teach, and not to discuss mistakes.

Adolescence becomes an important moment in everyone’s life, when there is a desire to leave the care of parents and start living in real life. Mistakes, bumps, wrong actions and unpleasant consequences are inevitable here. It is important not to teach, not to force a child to give up committing bad actions, not to protect the child from real life, but to allow him to “get into trouble” while discussing the events that are happening. Parents can share their own experiences when they themselves first encountered similar difficulties to those faced by their child. But it is important not to force the child to obey, but to listen and decide for himself what to do next. He may not listen to parental instructions - that is his right. He should be allowed to make mistakes, learn from the lessons of life and understand that mom and dad are passing on their experience and conclusions, and not edifying.

Intelligence is not related to the ability to live independently.

Parents often confuse concepts such as intelligence and the ability to be independent. A person can know a lot, but be absolutely inept in real life conditions. People are often talented in their field, but are absolutely careless in communicating with others, unable to predict the consequences of their actions. A child can be smart, but completely unadapted to real life. This indicates an erroneous upbringing, when he is given knowledge, but does not develop the skills of independent living.

Don't live by the rules that children should live by.

What children are taught, parents must adhere to themselves. While a child is small, his parents are examples of leaders. How do they live? How are they behaving? What do you do in different situations? He learns leadership from their example. It is difficult to convince a child otherwise, that parents did wrong and they are not leaders in life. If you want your own child to succeed, then you yourself must become successful leaders in the real world. He will copy this and reach the heights of success himself when he becomes an adult.

Laws of family life

Self-development and family are connected as a manifestation of the spouses’ desire to understand each other, to become truly close, reliable, loving, attentive friends. The family develops simultaneously with changes in each of the family members, everything in the world flows and moves, life cannot be static. You need to be prepared for changes, new interests, hobbies.

The main thing is to preserve the inner core, family values. It is a well-known truth that a strong family is possible when both sides strive for a common result; one person cannot maintain balance. Even being perfect, one day, without seeing appropriate behavior on the part of the second spouse, he will understand the futility of his actions and get tired of investing in the relationship, this will be the beginning of the end.

Family is a daily interaction, how to make it effective, what do spouses need to know first?

In an effort to be an ideal spouse, you should develop abilities that satisfy the following needs of your spouse:

Love and tenderness - a husband should show tenderness more often, hugging and kissing his beloved, paying compliments, and paying attention. Small gifts also help a lot: flowers, sweets, romantic letters. Tenderness - provides a wonderful atmosphere in the family, helps strengthen the marriage;
Communication - discuss all current issues more, ask how your day went, develop understanding, attentiveness, and sensitivity to your spouse’s questions and experiences;
Sincerity - strive for trust and openness in relationships, discuss plans for the future, share your ideas. It is important for a woman to feel that a man is reliable, will always be able to help in difficult situations, and is ready to resolve all issues;
Financial independence - a good spouse understands that it is necessary to provide for the family in the best possible way, looks for sources of increasing income and reducing costs. It is advisable to discuss the family budget and large purchases together.
Participate in family affairs - pay attention to children, spend time with them, play, read, walk. It is a great happiness for a wife to watch her husband take care of the children. It is important to find a balance between family and work; excessive passion for a career can cause the loss of loved ones. After all, the wife needs not only finances, but also to feel involved in family matters, spend time together, and communicate.

Self-development and family are related concepts; the spouse needs to improve his qualities and skills for successful interaction and to meet the needs of his wife. What exactly is needed? Learn to be gentle, attentive, caring, understanding. And also to be a supporter in the family and a good father.

How can a wife become the most loved and desired, what qualities are necessary to satisfy a man’s basic needs in marriage?

To be a good lover , to satisfy a man’s need for intimate relationships. A woman’s task is to study this topic, learn to please her partner, teach him the basic ways that she may like. Everything should be mutually interesting.
Share interests, spend time together . A spouse should be a faithful companion in various hobbies - sports, music, fishing, hunting, etc. Find out more about your spouse, spend time together playing tennis, visiting the pool. Men like to spend time with their beloved wife and share interests. Support your spouse and be understanding. Find common interests, be more together.
It’s always good to look beautiful —the wife cares not only about her inner world, but also about her beauty. Attractiveness is very important for men. Try to pay attention to your hair, physical fitness, health, find your style, individuality. A man should be proud of his wife, sometimes it’s worth reminding that a beautiful wife is a man’s calling card, so that he allows him to go for a manicure or to the hairdresser.
To be a good housewife - a wife needs to provide comfort in the house - order, tranquility, so that her husband would be pleased to come home, a beautiful and elegant wife would be waiting for him with a wonderful dinner, as well as cheerful and loving children. And under any conditions, you need to try to create an atmosphere of love. A wise woman knows that scandals are not the best way to the heart.

Self-development and family are manifested for a woman in the desire to master ways of housekeeping, learn new recipes, and learn femininity.

Appreciating your spouse means seeing your spouse’s achievements, praising him for his efforts and successes in life and work. Men have a high need for admiration and recognition. If the spouse forgets to do this, then there may be other women who will attract attention with kind words.

For spouses, it is important to satisfy all five needs; a deficiency in one of the areas can lead to problems in the future. Therefore, a woman should develop the following qualities - learn to give intimate love, be sincerely interested in general issues, maintain an attractive image, develop the ability to run a household and maintain a pleasant atmosphere in the house, be attentive to the successes and achievements of her spouse.

There is even a proverb: “If a man has done something, that’s already good, and if he’s also done it well, then that’s just wonderful.”

Yes, the support and participation of a woman is very important for men. The older generation advises: “we need to do everything together.” Naturally, within the limits of possibilities, strive for this. This applies to household chores - gluing wallpaper, fixing something, giving tools, thanking for help.

Features of development in an incomplete family

Nowadays, single-parent families are becoming more and more common; they no longer surprise anyone. More often this happens when one of the parents has died or there has been a divorce.

In such a situation, the parent with whom the children are left is forced to single-handedly do everything that is assigned to two people. Very often, in an effort to ensure normal sociocultural and financial conditions, this person forgets about the importance of spiritual and emotional communication.

A child growing up with one parent is subject to increased emotional stress because he observes a shift in social roles and integrates himself into this distorted picture. If the child's mother or father left or died when he was able to realize what was happening, then this places an additional psychological burden on him.

But even in such a situation, the child and adults are capable of developing. Personally depends on the atmosphere in the family. If the home environment and emotional state are normal, then this will become the basis for the development of parents and offspring.

The role of family in human development cannot be underestimated. It is not for nothing that happiness is often associated with family and it is believed that only those who are happy at home are truly happy.