Signs of a self-sufficient person
By what signs can one determine a self-sufficient person?
- Self confidence. These are happy, mature, emotionally balanced people who do not shout about their self-sufficiency. They adequately assess their capabilities and know their worth. Their courage and bright personality speaks for itself and makes them stand out from the crowd. They do not seek attention, but always attract it.
Self-sufficient people have inner harmony. Photo by Julia Volk: Pexels
- Ability to make decisions independently. A self-sufficient person does not need the approval of others. This is a strong and strong-willed person who is able to make important decisions for himself, without looking at the opinions of others.
- Responsibility for your actions. A self-sufficient person is used to being responsible for everything that happens in his life. Please note: he never shifts the blame to other people. Mistakes do not scare him; he calmly analyzes them, learns and moves on.
- The ability to fight your fears. Anxiety is a bad companion for strong people. A self-sufficient person has a good habit of dealing with his fears, learning to overcome them, and training stress resistance. This useful skill will be useful to everyone! Advice: emotional balance is what you need to strive for.
- Respect for other people's boundaries. Self-sufficient people are very tactful and have many positive qualities. They are deprived of the habit of re-educating others and asserting themselves at the expense of others, and are not intrusive in communication. They are careful about other people's personal boundaries and are excellent at protecting their own.
- Lack of sick attachments. The fear of loneliness is not about self-sufficient people. These are integral individuals who cannot imagine dependence in any form on anyone.
- Social well-being and financial independence. Important! A self-sufficient person is able to provide for himself. Such people may not necessarily be rich, but they always have a favorite business, earn their own living and are not financially dependent on others.
- Constant development. Self-sufficient people are purposeful and capable individuals. They love to learn and improve their skills, are erudite, and have a broad outlook. They are interesting to talk to and interesting to listen to.
Asya Rakhovich
Psychologist with more than 7 years of experience. Expert in the “Personality Psychology” section
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What mistakes do parents make?
All parents strive to raise their children to be independent, but sometimes they unknowingly make mistakes that have the opposite effect. The roughest of them:
- doing for a child what he is able to do himself is easier, faster, safer, more effective, but more detrimental to independence;
- letting your child perform an action on his own, and then redoing it before his eyes - this practice kills the desire to try it yourself next time - why, if the mother will do it much better anyway?
- impose help and advice - in this way the child is deprived of the opportunity to try to solve the problem himself; if this happens regularly, this skill never has time to develop;
- invade the child’s personal space: burst into the room without knocking, put personal belongings in order, check pockets - such actions deprive the child of a sense of security in his own home;
- untimeliness - discrepancy between the set of skills that are being taught and the age of the child;
- punish for the consequences - scold the child if his attempt to show independence ended in a complete fiasco (broke a plate, ruined clothes, etc.);
- use an imperative tone when communicating with a child - this tone allows you to achieve obedience, but solely out of fear, and not because of awareness of the essence of the problem;
- “rescue” at the last moment - coming to the aid of a child who has reached the end, doing housework or homework for him, thereby depriving him of the opportunity to feel the consequences of his disorganization and laziness.
Types of self-sufficiency
There are several types of self-sufficiency. The division into types is based on different areas of life where this quality is necessary and applied. Using this classification, we can tell whether a person is self-sufficient in a particular area. Let's give them a definition.
Psychological self-sufficiency.
This is exactly the type that is most often implied in discussions about the concept itself. A psychologically self-sufficient person is an integral personality who has a rich inner world. He doesn't need anyone's support. On the contrary, he himself often becomes a support for others.
Self-sufficient people radiate confidence and calmness; they are excellent conversationalists and advisers. Photo by Alexandr Podvalny: Pexels
They are not familiar with the fear of loneliness. They are comfortable alone with themselves, they always know what to do with themselves.
Psychological lack of self-sufficiency is characteristic of infantilism.
Social self-sufficiency
A person who is self-sufficient socially has a job and a hobby. He is successful in his profession, constantly implements his plans, and improves himself. Important: this also means complete financial self-sufficiency – the opportunity to earn your own living. Has, for example, his own home, car or other social benefits. Moreover, he determines the need for these benefits for himself. These are not stereotypes imposed by society in the style of “this is how it should be”, “this is correct”, but exactly what the person himself wants. He sets goals and achieves them thanks to his abilities.
Always being busy and in demand is the life credo of a self-sufficient person.
Economic self-sufficiency
This type of self-sufficiency is necessary to carry out daily household tasks. For example, people who are able to independently take care of themselves in everyday life - cook dinner, clean the apartment, put their things in order - are considered self-sufficient in economic terms. For many, these skills are taken for granted. But there are people who are deprived of them. In some cases, this seriously complicates life, making a person completely helpless. Advice: economic skills and abilities should be developed in a child from early childhood.
Teach children independence from an early age. Photo by Yan Krukov: Pexels
Formation of independence in children
Passivity and lack of initiative are the main problems of adolescents and children of primary preschool age. The independence of schoolchildren is formed even when the child is under seven years old. But parents often do not attach importance to this, hoping that the child will simply grow up. Until then, they do everything for him, without waiting for him to take the initiative. But in fact, school age itself will not become that magical period when a child suddenly begins to show such qualities as responsibility and independence. This is wrong; you need to start fighting a child’s dependence on an adult at an early age, when the baby begins to walk, eat, and so on.
Gradually, the child must independently do what he can do. And parents should not interfere too much in his activities, but are obliged to teach their child to connect his actions with the result obtained, that is, responsibility.
Qualities of a self-sufficient person
Self-sufficiency is a whole set of psychological qualities. Please note: many people often confuse it with independence. But these are different things. An independent person may have aspirations for financial independence, but at the same time remain weak. A self-sufficient person is also strong internally.
Self-sufficiency of a woman
Today, self-sufficiency has become an important quality for a woman. Many people perceive a self-sufficient lady as a strict businesswoman, but such characteristics do not always fully satisfy self-sufficiency. Here the substitution of concepts dictated by the stereotypes of modern society is already beginning. Softness and femininity are not at all a sign of lack of self-sufficiency. So what is she like, a self-sufficient woman?
At a minimum, this is an adult and mature person who adequately assesses himself and his capabilities, looks at life realistically, does not create illusions, and treats others and himself with respect in the first place. She is full of strength and energy, does not stop there, continuing to develop the best qualities in herself. He may have a favorite thing, a hobby, a job that brings not only financial stability and confidence in the future, but also moral satisfaction.
Please note: self-realization is an important condition for female self-sufficiency. Without self-realization there will be no self-confidence, which distinguishes a self-sufficient person. You don't have to have a spectacular career to be self-fulfilled. Each woman determines her own needs: for some it is important to earn big money and have a high status, for others it is enough to simply do what they love to realize their potential. In any of these cases, the woman will be socially self-sufficient, because she is already financially independent.
A self-sufficient woman is a priori smart, has self-esteem, and such a person always takes care of his appearance. Both internal and external. She is not helpless in everyday life, she always looks great and keeps order around her. She is an interesting and harmonious person who does not compete with others, but is ahead only of herself. In the family it gives close people an atmosphere of calm.
A woman who is pleased with herself is a wonderful mother and wife! Pixabay Photos
A self-sufficient woman is independent of a man. Not only financially, but also emotionally. She respects herself and never enters into dependent relationships. At the same time, he does not deliberately flaunt his strength and capabilities. Despite the fact that she can do everything herself, she does not go to extremes and does not refuse reasonable help when it is required. This is what a self-sufficient woman means.
Self-sufficiency of a man
A self-sufficient man is a rock: calm, self-confident, reliable, honest with himself and with the people around him. At the same time, he is very strong in spirit, knows when not to give in, and defends his rights and life principles. He has many qualities that form the basis of a real masculine character.
He always has a clear plan of action; it is difficult to lead him astray while achieving his goal. He has a job he loves and earns good money. He knows what responsibility is not only for himself, but also for his loved ones. Solve problem situations with ease. Practically, a dream man.
Self-sufficient men always achieve their goals. Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels
Please note: not every woman will be comfortable in a relationship with him. Such men do not quickly decide to start a family; they value their freedom. They are realized, live life to the fullest, and it is difficult for them to change anything in it.
A self-sufficient man is quite direct and demanding. He will always consider himself the main one in the relationship. His word will most likely be decisive. But at the same time, he is ready to make compromises for the sake of his loved one, if he feels sincerity.
He sees the falsity immediately, because he himself is honest in life and demands the same attitude towards himself. He does not tolerate it when they try to manipulate him. He chooses the worthy. Only a wise and internally strong woman can be next to him.
Is self-sufficiency good or bad: pros and cons
Healthy self-sufficiency is a positive personality trait. Such people adequately perceive reality, they are stress-resistant and independent in almost all areas of life. This helps you achieve success in your career, protect yourself from manipulators, or, for example, painlessly survive a breakup.
Developing unhealthy self-sufficiency is not good. These are negative manifestations. When a person lives only by his beliefs, egoism takes over. He becomes too demanding. For him, only his desires, only the satisfaction of his needs matter. He basically doesn't need anyone anymore.
The conscious choice in favor of loneliness is a problem for many self-sufficient people. Photo by cottonbro: Pexels
Please note: such people often remain lonely and don’t even notice it. This is fundamentally wrong. This outcome must be avoided.
How to develop self-sufficiency: advice from psychologists
Developing self-sufficiency is not easy, but it is possible. Here are some practical tips from psychology that are equally suitable for both sexes:
- Train your willpower;
- Make it a rule to set goals and fulfill them, start small: gradually you will get the hang of it and come to the realization of big plans;
- Learn to lead your own life;
- Strive for complete financial independence, improve your material capabilities;
- Engage in self-development: read more quality literature, communicate with interesting people, travel, visit exhibitions and museums, go to the theater and cinema;
- Upgrade your professional skills and abilities, learn from the best;
- Find a hobby that really interests you;
- Take care of your health and appearance: start watching what you eat, sign up for a gym or do at least minimal physical activity on your own;
- Learn to set personal boundaries and not pay attention to the opinions and behavior of other people. This is perhaps the most difficult thing. Start with yourself: respect other people's boundaries, and you will be treated accordingly. If necessary, reconsider your social circle;
- Do not enter into dependent relationships - respect yourself, avoid addiction in any form;
- Work through your fears;
- Learn to take any problem calmly, do not perceive failures and criticism as another failure. On the contrary, it is a reason to make yourself better;
- Stop relying on someone all the time, take responsibility for your life into your own hands, make important decisions yourself.
How to teach a child to order
Parents are very often upset by the fact that their already grown child does not want to maintain order and take care of self-care issues. He makes his bed only after reminders, things are scattered around the room, and the dishes are not cleared away after eating. How to prevent such a situation from developing? According to most adults, a child's only responsibility is to put toys in their places. But experienced teachers assure that it is better to teach a child to order before the age of five. This will be much more difficult to do later. The baby is able to fetch himself a cup, put a plate in the sink and perform many other simple tasks already at one and a half years old, if, of course, you give him such an opportunity. If you do everything for him, then how will he learn to be independent?
