The ability to speak beautifully and competently express one’s thoughts is required not only by actors, television announcers or lecturers. Every person from time to time is faced with the need to speak in public. This could be a presentation of a new project at work, business negotiations with partners, or congratulations to the birthday boy among friends.
Many people are afraid of such situations because they do not know at all how to speak confidently and do not know how to do it. But don't despair, because this skill can be developed.
What is beautiful speech
First of all, you need to understand what is meant by beautiful speech. When a person speaks beautifully, he expresses his thoughts competently and coherently, his speech is smooth, clear, moderately emotional, filled with the right intonations. It is pleasant to listen to such a person, and the information he conveys is perceived easily and accessible.
Eloquence can be innate or acquired. Some people are born with the gift of eloquence and can speak calmly and feel confident in any situation - in front of the public, on the phone or in a personal conversation. They make good speakers, capable of convincing an audience of anything. People who do not have innate eloquence can develop it if they wish. There are various trainings for this, there are many books and video lessons on this topic.
Features of beautiful and confident speech
- Correct construction of phrases and speech patterns, absence of water words that do not carry a semantic load.
- No slang or profanity.
- Even voice, smooth flow of speech without acceleration or excessive slowdown, stuttering and swallowing the endings of words.
- Clear and concise presentation of information.
- Using polite words in conversation, showing sincere interest in listeners.
Sociable people are more successful in life. They know how to win over their interlocutor and convince him that they are right. It is pleasant to communicate with such people, so others are drawn to them.
Get rid of common phrases
In modern speech there are many ubiquitous but empty phrases, for example: “sorry”, “what I want to say”, “this is my opinion”, etc. Most of them, among other things, demonstrate your doubts. By using such phrases, you seem to apologize for what you said. And why should people continue to listen to you after that? Such statements usually come out when you are nervous about other people's reactions to what you are communicating. Therefore, speak, avoiding such “apologies”. Then you won't have to clarify that this is your opinion. Which, by the way, will sound weighty and authoritative.
How to learn to speak beautifully
To master oratory skills perfectly, you need to study for a long time. But, if you need to improve your communication skills a little, expert advice will help you.
Don't be afraid to express your opinion
First of all, you need to stop being afraid to say what you think. Of course, not all people will agree with you. But this does not mean that you should not express your opinion. It is important to do this politely, clearly conveying your thoughts to the interlocutor.
Speak loudly
A quiet voice can make even the best speech unconvincing. Try not to mumble, but speak loudly enough so that your interlocutors can hear you clearly. A loud voice will make you appear more confident. However, speech should not only be loud, but also intelligible so that people understand what you are talking about.
During a conversation, look at the audience
Making eye contact during a conversation or speech is very important. Firstly, by doing this you express a polite attitude towards your listeners, and secondly, you encourage them to listen to you more carefully. Plus, you see what reaction your words cause in them.
Increase your self-confidence
If you are an insecure person, then you definitely need to work on yourself, increasing your level of confidence. This will help you communicate with people and speak in public without feeling self-conscious. There are many ways to increase self-confidence. Advice from psychologists, special books and trainings will help with this.
Allow yourself to make mistakes
If you made a mistake during your presentation, don’t worry or be nervous. Continue your speech calmly. Every person can make mistakes. There is nothing scary or terrible about this. Just don’t focus on it, and no one will notice your mistake.
Overcome Shyness
At first, it will be very difficult for you to feel calm and relaxed in front of the public. However, there is no need to despair. Try again and again, and gradually your shyness will noticeably decrease.
Do your research on the topic you are going to talk about.
Don’t be lazy and thoroughly study the topic on which you need to report. The more aware you are, the less hesitation you will have in your voice.
Train your speech skills
If your speech is not very good, practice it. Exercises that can be found in specialized literature will help you with this. Learn tongue twisters, learn to pronounce complex words correctly. All this will help you feel confident.
Breathe correctly
Breathing is important when performing. If you breathe correctly, your speech will be smooth, measured, without unnecessary pauses. Take your time, don't hesitate. Choose a pace at which you can speak comfortably without slurring or getting out of breath. In the pauses between words, take a deep breath. Don't say the end of a sentence with your last breath. If you feel like you are short of breath, start speaking more slowly.
Get rid of parasitic words in your speech
Parasitic words in the speaker’s speech hurt the ear. Try to get rid of unnecessary words and interjections, such as “so to speak,” “in general,” “ahem,” and “uh.” If you forget what you want to say, pause, remember, and then calmly continue your speech.
Choose an advantageous position
When speaking in front of an audience, it is important not only to speak beautifully, but also to stand correctly. Even more than words, a pose reveals a person’s insecurity. To look confident, keep your back straight, don't slouch, and don't tense your muscles. Improve your posture to keep your back straight. Before your performance, practice your pose in front of a mirror so you don’t have to worry about whether you look good from the outside.
Try to keep your audience interested
A good speaker can do more than just speak beautifully. He maintains the interest of the audience and presents information in a way that listeners like. This is a very important skill to learn. If you see that people are interested in your story, your self-confidence will increase.
Develop a confident voice
The speaker's voice is of great importance. A person with a well-trained voice is pleasant to listen to. When preparing to speak, record your speech on a tape recorder or camera and listen to how it sounds. Eliminate any bugs you don't like. Track timbre, intonation, pronunciation of words. Work on the identified problems to improve your voice. Knowing what your voice sounds like from the outside will help you feel more comfortable.
Take care of your appearance
You must look good. But remember: the point of visually preparing yourself for a meeting is not to please others. All this is needed to increase self-esteem and maintain the necessary determination.
The style of clothing should be appropriate for the type of event you are attending. But that's not all: choose clothes that are on trend. Even if you've ignored fashion all your life, try wearing something atypical for yourself. Clothes you would never dare to wear. It shouldn't be too bright, but it should make you stand out from the crowd.
You will immediately notice the psychological effect: slight uncertainty will soon be replaced by self-satisfaction thanks to interested glances thrown in your direction.
Shower, deodorant, decent clothes - these things are implied by default. However, there are some nuances that are extremely important to consider. They may seem obvious to you, but a huge number of people forget about these little things.
Tips for men
1. Get a decent haircut.
2. Get rid of fused eyebrows.
3. Don't forget about nose hair.
4. Tidy up your beard and mustache if you have one.
5. Trim your nails.
Tips for women
1. You should not go to a party without a bra, as flashes of light can make the fabric transparent.
2. If you don't know what to wear, remember: skinny jeans paired with a nice blouse is always a good option.
3. Never wear clothes that make you uncomfortable.
4. Don't forget that the line between "sexy" and "vulgar" is very thin.
What prevents you from feeling confident?
There are various stressful situations that prevent you from speaking beautifully:
- unfamiliar circle of people. A person who feels quite confident in a circle of familiar people may be completely at a loss in front of an unfamiliar audience;
- conversation with a significant person. The more significant the person standing in front of you, the less confident you feel. This happens to almost everyone;
- violation of the conversation plan. If the topic of the conversation suddenly changes or they start asking you questions that you are not prepared for, then you may become confused;
- ridicule, accusations. If the other person begins to ridicule you, make accusations, or devalue your strengths, you will begin to feel uncomfortable and may lose your speech.
Adjust the volume
Speaking loudly to demonstrate confidence is a common mistake. In reality, speaking in a raised voice only makes listeners conclude that you do not respect them. In addition, speech that sounds like shouting is unpleasant. Rhythmic organization of speech and the correct pitch of intonation help to be heard during a speech, especially in front of a large audience. How well you control your voice can be determined by analyzing audio recordings of your performances. Draw conclusions every time and keep practicing.
How to overcome uncertainty and fear of speaking
You can overcome stress during a conversation or speaking in front of an audience using simple tips:
- if you are standing, do not lean on one leg. Position your body so that the support is on both legs. Don't place your feet together as if you were standing at attention, but place them a short distance apart;
- if you are sitting, place your feet a short distance apart, bend them at the knees, and place your hands in front of you. Do not sit on the chair too deeply or, conversely, on the edge. Do not put your feet under the chair or cross them;
- keep your back straight, straighten your shoulders, do not lower your chin, but do not raise it too high;
- watch your hands. Do not move objects, do not click the pen, do not hide your hands. Gesticulation should be moderate and calm;
- try to look straight into the face of your interlocutor, do not look away even when you are asked uncomfortable questions;
- feel the line between confidence and self-confidence. Self-confident and arrogant people unwittingly cause rejection among their interlocutors.
As you can see, anyone can learn public speaking. If your job involves communicating with people, you definitely need to work on yourself, increase your confidence and sociability. This will help you not only in your professional activities, but also in life.
Don't try to pretend to be an extrovert
Don't think that people won't like you just because you're an introvert. And that you definitely need to be more sociable or open in order for your friends to like you. There is nothing wrong with laconicism and restraint. And it's completely normal to not want to socialize every night.
Remember that your goal is to become a better version of yourself, not a completely different person.
By imitating the behavior of extroverts, you will simply get tired and not enjoy the interaction. Appreciate your own qualities and use them. Be sincere - this will truly endear you to people.
Start smiling
You might be surprised how much of an impact even the smallest smile can make to defuse any situation and make everyone feel as comfortable as possible.
Who would you turn to for help, a gloomy and stern person or a smiling person?
If you are concerned about the sincerity of your smile, it is enough just not to smile all over your face. An insincere smile will be noticed a mile away. Well, if you are truly truly happy, then those around you will simply feel it and appreciate it.
Make eye contact
It is sometimes advised to get rid of excessive worries during a speech by looking towards the back of the hall. In fact, the speaker’s gaze “over their heads” sharply reduces the audience’s attention to him. Another technique works effectively.
When speaking in front of a large group of people, take turns making eye contact with individual audience members. Fix your gaze on each person for at least six seconds, then move your eyes to someone who is in another part of the room. Do not return your gaze to people you have already looked at. This technique gives your listeners the feeling that you are speaking specifically for them. At the same time, many, meeting the eyes of the speaker, begin to smile or react positively to the speaker in some other way. This allows the latter to feel confident.
Be determined to win
Most people stop believing in their victory
and become very unsure of themselves because they initially set high goals for themselves, which are almost impossible to achieve. You need to start with small goals, but ones that you can achieve easier and faster.
When you have completed this task and set many small goals for yourself, gradually move on to more important tasks. At the same time, it is necessary to keep a list with all the goals, both small and more serious, in order to constantly have a reminder that you have done everything well and correctly.
Don't constantly focus on the list of only necessary things, pay attention to what has already been done. This is a great way for you to become more confident in your skills by reflecting on your milestones, goals and projects you have already achieved.
Know how to relax
Always try to listen to your feelings
desires and feelings. Try to constantly find time to be alone with yourself. This is necessary to collect your thoughts, understand and hear yourself better.
Learn to take care of yourself, constantly ask yourself what exactly you would like today.
These may be small, but necessary things for you, for example, taking a walk down the street, buying something tasty, doing gymnastics, or watching your favorite TV series.
Play some sports
If you want to be a 99% confident person, go in for sports.
What could be better than regularly training and observing the changes in your body, noticing the progress of improvement? In this case, when you take off your shirt and see a beautiful muscle definition, your self-esteem grows by leaps and bounds.
The tone from constant exercise gives such a charge of positive energy,
that you will want to share with the whole world. Suppose, if you were previously a notorious boy with bad posture, now you see a handsome handsome man with a confident look and a certain pride in himself and his successes. Sport, according to the athletes themselves, is the first cure for an inferiority complex.
Short tips
Don't judge others for their mistakes, and you will be judged less.
Change yourself to see these changes in your environment and throughout the world.
One person can influence thousands of others through his transformation.
Be happy and make others happy so that life can be wonderful for those around you.
Try to be cheerful and humorous.
People love someone who can make them laugh heartily. However, depending on the situation, sometimes you can do without humor, for example, when a person needs consolation.
If someone is crying, find out why, find out what happened, and how you could help them improve the situation.
Don't suck up to people if they give you hints to stay away from them.
There are many other people who will readily appreciate your jokes.
Don't yell at people, and stop telling them that they are stupid, and also humiliating them if they don't understand something right away.
Be patient with everyone.
Don't put yourself first all the time.
Think about others too, see how you can be helpful in their situations.
Treat others the way you want them to treat you.
Please be honest.
Try to stop using lies in your communication with others.
Maintain inner calm all the time, trying to avoid provocation and extinguish conflicts without leading to a fight.
It directly depends on your internal state.
Work through all your internal conflicts and fears, and you will see how you will be treated completely differently.
Always respect yourself.
Even if you are currently a good, friendly and tactful person, do not let people get on your neck.
Respect the freedom and space of others.
There are people who value their personal space, leave them alone if they move away from you as soon as you approach them.
Some people just don't like anyone.
Don't let them influence your mood, even if these people still don't like you. There are still many good people who can become your friends.
Stop being a sufferer.
If you are ready to love and respect yourself, then, of course, adequate people, not all, will love you and make you a happier person.
conclusions
The ability to speak confidently is extremely useful and can be useful for those who want to improve their relationships with others, advance their careers, and share knowledge and ideas with other people. You can learn this skill just like any other. And you can hone it only in the process of training.
Certain techniques that you need to know how to use allow you to gain confidence in your speech. So, you should speak slowly, enter into dialogue after a short pause, avoid filler words and common empty “apology phrases,” control the intonation and volume of your speech, use silence and deliberately break up phrases using pauses.
It is also important to understand that the quality of speech is greatly influenced by the physical condition and sensations of the speaker. Therefore, for a successful performance, you need to monitor your bodily reactions. During it, you should take the correct posture, use appropriate gestures and smile, breathe deeply and measuredly, relax the body, especially the muscles of the jaw, larynx, neck and shoulders, and drink clean water if necessary.
One of the essential components of a confident performance is interaction with the audience. To maintain it, you need to thank the audience for their participation in the event, alternately establish eye contact with individual participants, and focus on what is happening here and now.
Text: Tatyana Turbal, Illustrations: Konstantin Amelin, Photo: Photo by Miguel Henriques on Unsplash, Source: https://medium.com/@georgejziogas/how-to-speak-with-confidence-to-absolutely-anyone-17aff65c37ef
Relax your body
Nervous tension most affects the muscles of the jaw, neck, larynx and shoulders. Meanwhile, these muscles are responsible for the tone of your voice. Relaxing them is essential if you want to sound confident. Start with deep breathing. As you exhale, open your mouth slightly, relax your jaw and let out the air as if you were groaning. Swing your arms from side to side, stretch your neck, and move your jaw to release any tightness in those parts of your body. If you feel tension in these muscles during your performance, focus on relaxing them.
