Conflict is a normal side of life. Even in the most friendly social group, opposing interests can collide. This could potentially turn into conflict. Any difficulties in relationships lead to their development if they are treated correctly.
Conflict between man and woman
Everyone can easily give examples of conflict situations. Even the most peaceful person faces them. History includes two global conflicts that led to the death of a huge number of people, and many small ones. Therefore, the ability to resolve conflicts productively is one of the most important things in life.
Moreover, almost everyone can give an example of a conflict and its analysis if the situation has already been resolved. Unfortunately, few people rely on successes and use their successful experience in subsequent difficulties in relationships.
Concept and psychology of conflict management
Conflict, what is it? In short, this is a clash of interests, opinions and views .
As a result of the conflict, a crisis situation arises in which each participant in the conflict seeks to impose his point of view on the other side.
A conflict that is not stopped in time can lead to open confrontation , in which the subject of the dispute is relegated to the background and the ambitions of the parties come first.
As a rule, as a result of a conflict, there are no losers or winners, since all participants expend effort and ultimately do not receive positive emotions.
especially dangerous when a person is tormented by conflicting thoughts and desires that tear him apart. Protracted states of internal conflicts often end in depression and neuroses.
A modern person needs to be able to recognize a beginning conflict in time, take competent steps to prevent the conflict from growing and eliminate it at the inception stage.
If, however, the conflict cannot be extinguished immediately, it is necessary to be able to build the right line of behavior and competently exit the conflict with minimal losses.
How does it arise?
As a result of numerous studies, it was determined that most conflicts arise without the corresponding intentions of their participants .
Often people involuntarily react to the conflictogens of other people, or they themselves are a source of conflictogens, as a result of which a stressful situation arises.
Conflict triggers , words, actions, deeds leading to conflict. They arise when the participants have any psychological problems, or are used purposefully to achieve their goals.
Most conflictogens manifest themselves for the following reasons:
- thirst for superiority . The desire to prove one's worth
- aggressiveness _ Initially aggressive behavior towards other people, caused by a negative emotional state,
- selfishness . The desire to achieve your goals at any cost.
How do conflicts arise? True reasons and solutions:
In what situations should you not conflict?
Before entering into conflict, you need to think carefully about whether you really need it. Very often people start to sort things out in cases where it makes no sense at all.
If your interests are not directly affected, and during the dispute you will not achieve your goals, most likely there is no point in entering into an interpersonal conflict. An example of a similar situation: on a bus, the conductor starts arguing with a passenger. Even if you support the position of one of the disputants, you should not get involved in their conflict without a good reason.
If you see that your opponent’s level is radically different from yours, there is no point in entering into an argument or discussion with such people. You will never prove to a stupid person that you are right.
Before getting involved in a conflict, you need to evaluate the pros and cons, think about what consequences it could lead to, how your relationship with your opponent will change, and whether you want this, how likely it is that during the dispute you will be able to achieve your goals. You also need to pay great attention to your emotions at the moment of threat of a quarrel. It may be worth using tactics to avoid the conflict, cool down a little and think carefully about the current situation.
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Popular methods for resolving situations
The most effective strategies that are most often used in practice to manage conflict:
- Avoidance . One of the parties withdraws from the dispute, demonstrating reluctance to continue the discussion.
- Changing the subject. The dispute moves imperceptibly into another direction. For example, on a question indirectly related to the main subject of the dispute. As a result, the conflict gradually fades away due to the lack of the previous emotional intensity.
- Collision . Each party insists on its position, which leads to the need to resolve the situation by taking into account the opinions of both parties to the dispute.
- Device . One of the parties is trying to find ways to resolve the situation that will make it possible to eliminate the subject of the dispute.
- Postponement . One of the parties takes a break to think about the current situation.
- Reconciliation . Mutual recognition of the conflict as settled. As a rule, this is only possible through the mediation of a third party.
- Compromise . Achieving a compromise solution as a result of peaceful negotiations.
About ways to resolve conflicts in this video:
conclusions
Despite the fact that most people consider conflict to be a purely negative phenomenon, this is not entirely fair. It may well be constructive in nature. Moreover, in some cases it is simply necessary. For example, the leaders of some organizations deliberately provoke constructive conflicts in work collectives. This helps to identify existing problems, relieve emotional stress and create a healthy work environment. It is also worth remembering that with a competent approach to conflict management, even destructive confrontation can have a constructive conclusion.
Resolution Methods
From a scientific point of view, there are specific methods for resolving conflict:
Structural
Most often used in the professional field. These include:
- Clarification of requirements . Participants in the confrontation receive clear instructions as to whose competence this or that issue is. The possibility of a conflict is excluded due to the absence of common interests between which a clash could occur.
- Use of special control mechanisms. A clear system of actions is developed and applied in practice when a negative situation arises that can turn into a conflict. The system allows you to identify an emerging dispute at an early stage and eliminate it before moving on to the next stage.
- Setting goals. Bringing parties together to achieve a common goal will require complete reconciliation and the elimination of any differences.
The desire for such a union for the sake of a common goal is observed only with a high level of motivation. That is, the goal must be of high significance for all parties to the conflict. - Application of rewards. The absence of conflicts, the ability to find a common language and reach compromises can be encouraged by a specially designed reward system.
Large-scale confrontations
Conflicts may arise between the group and the individual. Often the role of a group is played by the entire team or a certain part of it. The individual entering the conflict may be a newcomer. Moreover, even a new manager who arrives at the enterprise will not escape a similar fate. This, for example, may be caused by a different management style. Sometimes conflict arises between the new worker and the team. In this case, the person most often simply quits. If he tries, he will be able to win over the team. You will have to try hard for this.
Confrontation also sometimes breaks out between groups within the work team. People can be divided along ideological, professional or other lines. This introduces an element of competition into the team. Sometimes this type of conflict begins with a confrontation between two team members. The rest of the workers take the side of the first or second person. Thus, a conflict situation between individual groups is brewing.
Way out of the conflict
How to get out of conflict situations? To get out of this unpleasant situation you need to take the following steps :
- Stop using words or taking actions that provoke a negative response from your opponent.
- Do not react to such behavior on the part of your interlocutor.
- Show affection towards another person.
This can be done using gestures, facial expressions, and words. Smiling, patting the shoulder, shaking hands, using polite phrases, all help smooth out disputes. The interlocutor immediately acquires a positive attitude and the situation is soon resolved.
Wrong actions
There are certain techniques in the world that help find a way out of this situation. Their combination is called the art of overcoming conflicts at work. Every leader should know how to behave in such situations. However, with the wrong approach, management can make the situation worse. There are several wrong actions in this situation:
- Attack. The leader forces people to submit to their will and their own interests. He uses his power to force others to accept his point of view. In this case, you cannot count on the support of the team.
- Run away. The manager tries his best to run away from the problem, not wanting to solve it. In this case, you will have to face a conflict at the most inopportune moment, when the confrontation becomes a serious problem.
- To avoid. The boss wants to get out of the situation without giving in, but also without insisting on his own. He doesn't enter into discussions. If a dispute arises, the boss changes the topic. The conflict remains unresolved.
- Ignore. The manager pretends that the problem does not exist. However, this will not make it disappear.
- Give up. The manager strives at all costs to maintain good relations with his subordinates, giving in to the dispute. Following the lead of the team, you can lose respect and control over employees.
Examples of conflict situations
In society
Social conflicts are best resolved using constructive methods .
For example, neighbors of an apartment building may enter into a conflict caused by the distribution of parking spaces in the courtyard area.
Some neighbors will insist on clear markings, according to which each car is assigned a specific parking space. Other residents will advocate for the possibility of free placement of cars.
In this situation, the most effective methods of resolving a dispute would be to build a dialogue and jointly resolve the situation through compromise.
Completion Forms
What is the form of ending a conflict? A conflict of interest can be resolved as follows:
- Permission . The prerequisites may be that the parties desire to end the dispute and not return to it in the future. To finally resolve the conflict, it may be necessary to involve third parties. This is especially true in the field of professional relationships.
- Attenuation .
The dispute may cease to be relevant for one of the parties or for all participants in the process. In the first case, the second party does not find a response to its own words and actions and is forced to end the conflict. In the second case, the parties simultaneously decide that they do not want to continue the dispute due to fatigue, the end of the arguments, loss of interest in the subject of the dispute, etc. This type of ending a conflict is not always a positive result, since if a new stimulus arises, the dispute may resume with renewed vigor. - Settlement . The parties come to a compromise and reach mutual agreements. As a result, the dispute is resolved through constructive dialogue and effective interpersonal interaction.
- Elimination . The basis of the conflict is eliminated, transformed, modified, etc. In other words, the subject of the dispute ceases to be relevant at the current moment in time and the fact of a conflict of interests automatically disappears.
- Growing into a new dispute . Unexplained contradictions on one issue can become a source of new conflicts generated by the primary dispute. This effect is especially often observed in the sphere of family relationships, when a remark made by one of the spouses on any issue develops into a mutual exchange of reproaches.
Ways to become a winner
In order for the quarrel not to be in vain, and, moreover, not destructive, it is necessary to transform it into constructive. Then it will be possible to hear each other and come to a mutually beneficial agreement or understanding.
1.Learn to separate the flies from the cutlets
That is, if a problem arises, do not associate it with the character of another person. At the moment of contention, this will not be your argument, no matter how much you would like, but will only distance you from your partner. And besides, it won’t help fix the situation in any way. Even children are told that it is not they who are bad, but sometimes their behavior. For example, if a woman tells her man that he is a terrible husband, then, in addition to the fact that this will cause a lot of negative feelings, it will not help him find a solution, because the only thing is to replace him with a good husband.
But if you explain what exactly in his behavior and actions makes his wife unhappy, then there is a chance to move forward in the relationship and change it a little.
2. Resolving disagreement begins with determining the overall complexity
After all, even if you are on different sides of the barricades, something unites you. Without this, there will be no motivation to withstand tension and look for solutions, which threatens to fall into destructive communication. Therefore, no matter what feelings you have for each other, discuss how this misunderstanding is bothering both of you.
3.Now each of you must propose solutions
Gain the strength to listen and hear; by showing respect, you increase your chance of being heard in return. If an option doesn’t suit you, don’t devalue it or criticize it, but simply explain what exactly you don’t like about it.
5.The last stage is making a decision that you mutually approve
It happens that it is not always possible to discover ways to solve the complexity, then it is quite normal if you come to a mutual agreement not to do anything for now and watch how events develop further. The level of tension will subside, you will already have experience in conducting a conversation with each other, which means that over time everything will definitely fall into place.
6.Dismemberment
What if it happens that you simply have a tangle of claims against each other? Be sure to use the method of dissection and specification, otherwise you will not come to any mutually beneficial agreement if you talk about everything at once. If you have identified one problem, solve it, and only then move on to the next one.
7.Special phrases
In your speech, use phrases such as “I understood you”, “I heard you”, “Do you mean that...?”, “Did I understand you correctly?” And so on. This will endear you to you and will not provoke you into a militant position.
