Optimism is a trait that is set to become more common, based on Winston Churchill's famous quote that "a pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity, an optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty."
The poet Kahlil Gibran once wrote that “Your life is determined not so much by what life brings you as by the attitude you bring to life. Not so much by what happens to you, but by how your mind looks at what is happening.”
The attitude he mentions above is what we call optimism.
Optimism is both a philosophy and an attitude. It is a philosophy of how we interpret events that happen in our daily lives. It's about how we move forward. It is a way of life—a perspective or lens through which to evaluate the desirable and undesirable events that occur in our daily lives.
Not everyone may be an optimist, but everyone can become one. At least that's what positive psychologist Martin Seligman explains in his book Learned Optimism:
“A pessimistic attitude may seem so deeply ingrained that it may remain forever. However, I have discovered that pessimism can be avoided. In fact, pessimists can learn to be optimists, not through mindless tricks like whistling a happy tune or uttering platitudes, but by learning a new set of cognitive skills.”
However, the question we need to ask is not “how can I become more optimistic” but “what daily principles can I live by to become more optimistic by nature?” This reflects what Epictetus, the Stoic philosopher, once wrote: “Don’t explain your philosophy—embody it.” And the only way to embody a philosophy is to practice it day in and day out.
So what are these principles of optimism?
Given that the term “optimism” comes from the Latin word Optimus, which means “best,” it may be appropriate to first look at the region where the word was first discovered.
In The Seven Hills of Rome: A Geological Tour of the Eternal City, the authors argue that for many years historians, political analysts and sociologists have debated the question of what made Rome more powerful than its neighboring cities. Without taking into account one key factor behind its initial rise: the geology of Rome.
They demonstrate how Rome's innate core qualities were its proximity to a major river and close access to the sea, its hills for view and plateaus for defense. And also clean drinking water from springs in the Apennine Mountains - gave the city many geographical advantages compared to its surrounding environs. areas. Rome itself played a decisive role in the rise to power.
In other words, Rome begat Rome. And in the same way, only you can give birth to yourself.
Always believe it's possible
Principle #1: An optimist understands the fundamental rule: seeing is not believing; rather, believing is seeing. And so he develops a mindset around this mantra: “My beliefs can change what I see and perceive.”
In her book, Mindset, psychologist Carol Dweck explains that people operate from one of two mentalities, a fixed or growth mindset.
With a “fixed mindset,” we believe we have no control over our growth, intelligence, or creativity. And through this belief system, we strive for the illusion of success, feeling comfortable and avoiding failure at all costs.
However, with a “growth mindset,” we thrive in the face of adversity and view failure as a springboard for growth. A growth mindset is based on the belief that your core qualities are something you can develop through your own efforts. People with a growth mindset have a desire to teach and learn, a willingness to give and receive feedback, and the ability to confront and overcome obstacles.
What does optimism have to do with it? Your way of thinking, based on the belief system you have developed over time, determines how you see yourself and the world around you.
The view you take of yourself profoundly influences how you lead your life. It can determine whether you become the person you want to be and whether you achieve what you value.
In other words, seeing is not believing, but believing is seeing.
If you believe that a solution to your problem actually exists, you will be able to see opportunities and therefore be much more inclined to take action. And isn’t that what optimism is all about? Choosing to believe that the future can still be wonderful, seeing the possibility of that future, and then intentionally working today to make that future come true.
As Alan Watts once wrote, “faith is above all openness, an act of trust in the unknown.” Believing in the possible is what leads us to see all the possibilities that could be. An optimist believes and he sees.
Who is an optimist in life?
From the outside it seems that an optimist is a person who never loses heart .
And even if he has completely inopportune problems with transport, he is late for an important meeting and also forgot his mobile phone at home, this will not at all darken the optimist’s routine joy. But actually it is not.
An optimist can become depressed, upset, and even cry. But at the same time he will believe in a better outcome and future prospects.
Yes, maybe things really aren't that good right now. But very soon the difficulties will be resolved, giving way to new joys.
An optimist views difficulties rather as tasks.
In his eyes, this is not a blow to pride, not an evil fate, and not some kind of universal injustice.
Every problem is an obstacle that requires the right approach and strategy to overcome it. So why be upset? He can step over depression and go straight to action.
The main question of an optimist is: “What can I buy?” Unlike pessimists, who consider losses, optimists focus on gains. They understand that any change in positions, circumstances and parties opens previously closed corridors that can be used.
An optimist in life, he is attentive to details like no other. He notices individual positive factors and sums them up, with the result that the pleasant little things outweigh the central problem.
Do the work
Principle No. 2: An optimist does not engage in wishful thinking; an optimist works consciously and hard.
The philosophy of an optimist is not based on wishful thinking. The optimist's philosophy is based on work.
Yes, you can choose to believe in a better future, and yes, you can see all the ways it can manifest itself, but the truth is that the wheels won't turn unless you stand up and push them. You may believe that one day you will succeed as a writer and can see yourself as an acclaimed author, but the truth is that this book will not write itself—you have to sit down in a chair and write.
What stops you from getting work done is resistance. This is something we all experience, especially when it comes to taking action to achieve an outcome we truly desire. Sometimes this manifests itself as fear, self-doubt, or procrastination. Other times it manifests as delusional wishful thinking.
After all, imagination will only take you so far. Yes, it excites you and gives you a mountain of motivation, but the only way to sustain it and channel it into fertile soil is to sit down and do the work.
Definition and psychology
What is optimism?
Optimism is a view of reality, life and events that assumes confidence in a better future and a positive outcome in difficult situations.
Optimists see the world as a certain form of perfection and goodness, on the basis of which they can realize all their dreams and desires.
Optimism can be blind and realistic. In the first case, faith in the positive nature of people and the world stems from an unwillingness to see the opposite.
In the second case, a person is simply ready to deal with difficulties and take advantage of the opportunities that the current moment gives him.
Focus on yourself
Principle #3: An optimist does not obsess over what he cannot control. An optimist focuses only on what he can influence - himself.
- You don't control people's opinions of you.
- You have no control over the weather and natural disasters.
- You don't control the global economy.
- You have no control over what other people decide to do.
However, you can control how you respond to all of the above. How do you react when someone is playing a status game with you? How do you distance yourself from people who don't share the same values as you.
In other words, what you control is you. Your opinions, aspirations, habits and actions you take. Your mind and the way you think. What you can control and change is who you are as a whole. Trying to control or change anything outside of this realm only leads to more anxiety, anguish and frustration - you will cause a storm and drown in it.
Optimism is based on the fundamental belief that whenever we are faced with a situation that causes suffering, we have two options at our disposal. We can change the current situation, or change our attitude towards it, by first changing the way we interpret it. And the only way to do this is to learn to focus only on what you can control.
As the Roman and Stoic philosopher Epictetus wrote in A Guide to Life:
“Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: some things are under our control, and some are not. The main task in life is simply this: to identify and separate things so that I can clearly tell myself which external ones are not under my control, and which have to do with the choices that I actually control. Freedom is the only worthy goal in life. This is achieved by ignoring things that are beyond our control."
This last line is crucial: master yourself and you will become the master of your life.
It's time to cancel “Just smile and life will get better”: Why you shouldn’t instill optimism
Anton Danilov
answers to most of the questions that concern us online. In a new series of materials, we ask exactly these questions - burning, unexpected or common - to professionals in a variety of fields.
“Just don’t worry and forget”, “you need to smile more often”, “be optimistic” - we heard all these wishes more than once. At first glance, behind them lies a desire to support and cheer a person who is going through a difficult time. But in fact, there may not be so much real support behind these words - simply because the person who utters them does not want or cannot pay attention in any other way. Toxic optimism not only does not help get rid of bad thoughts, but can also aggravate them - especially if the situation is really complex, and it is impossible to understand it without the help of a specialist.
Our entire culture puts us in an optimistic mood: optimism is recognized as a good thing, and pessimism is condemned. Neglecting negative emotions and striving to turn them into positive ones at all costs has a bad effect on mental health, according to scientists in a 2011 study. Other work has shown a connection between artificially created good moods and the incidence of depression. In reality, when we face difficulties, the last thing we really want to hear is clichés like “smile and life will get better.”
What is toxic optimism? Why is he bad? How can you kindly support a person in a difficult situation? Let's find out together with psychologist Anna Krymskaya.
Anna Krymskaya
co-founder and CEO of the online psychological help service YouTalk
I'm not sure there's a term in psychology called "toxic optimism," but in this form it's perfect for describing this particular phenomenon. In essence, toxic optimism is a mixture of boundary violations, primitive splitting into “black” and “white” and a distorted paradigm of positive psychology. She herself, of course, is not reduced to primitive wishes “just be happy.” But positive psychology is often exploited and reduced to “you need to think positively.”
The main problem with toxic optimism is that it does not take into account the complexity of another person's emotional experience. It literally invades our inner space, bypassing all boundaries. Typically, we rarely request this kind of support unless we ourselves subscribe to public pages with “positive” pictures or download apps with cheerful parting words for every day. As a rule, people send us such wishes to cheer us up. But such attempts look helpless. People don’t really want to delve into the details of our condition, make close contact and face difficult experiences. It's easier for them to send non-binding wishes or non-committal illustrations, which seem to create the illusion of caring, but protect the interlocutor from the need to truly engage and show empathy.
Toxic optimism is harmful because it creates in the recipient the feeling that no one cares about him, he was not heard, he was not contacted, he was not understood. The man felt that the one who calls to “think more optimistically” was more likely to take care of himself, and not of him. After all, he felt like a young man. This is how he takes care of his loved ones - but at the expense of the experiences of another person, who is already having a hard time. An unpleasant aftertaste remains due to the feeling that no one cares about our pain, that they just want to get rid of us.
The ability to see a bright perspective and sink to the very bottom of unsightly experiences is all about the range of our emotions. Both are important
Healthy optimism takes into account the state of the interlocutor and his pain. If you feel bad, then first it is important to legalize the pain, give it a place to manifest itself, acknowledge it - and only then rebuild into something more constructive and positive. This cannot be done by skipping the first stage. Of course, sometimes it’s normal if a person encourages you and says “don’t be sour, hang on to the rainbow.” This becomes abnormal when such a wish does not come together, but instead of real support, empathy and the opportunity to share his condition with a person.
We must understand that in general, pessimism and optimism are conventions and are always a matter of terms. The ability to see a bright perspective and sink to the very bottom of unsightly experiences is all about the range of our emotions. Both are important. It is wrong to reduce the psyche only to a feeling of constant delight or to cynical indifference. We are much more complex, and the beauty of human communication is to give space to all emotions.
If you want to support a person, you should always first ask how the person is feeling and what could support him or her at a particular moment. Often this person himself will tell you which words are good for him and which ones drown him. If you yourself are faced with toxic optimism, then you can say this: “I see that you are trying to cheer me up, but it’s very difficult for me now, and I would be much more supported if you, say, came or just talked to me on telephone." It is important to try to give a positive connotation to such actions and not take them with hostility. Feedback should also be given not out of resentment and anger, but out of a desire to invest in the future of your relationship. No one can by default know how to support you. Take this responsibility upon yourself and tell us how to do it.
PHOTOS: Areaware, Frogandtoadstore
Love more than you fear
Principle #4: An optimist lives and works out of love, not fear.
There is a universal truth: you can act and live your life from a fear-based belief system or from a love-based belief system. Live in fear and you will experience limitations associated with resentment, arrogance, insecurity and greed. Live in love and you will discover an abundance of courage, confidence, fortitude and generosity.
Inaction, stagnation, and acting as if the world owes you something are rooted in fear. Action, growth, self-compassion and kindness are rooted in love. Fast living and haste is a way of life born out of fear. Live slowly and respect the process out of love.
To love more than you fear means to make room for poetic mistakes in your life. It's taking yourself a little less seriously and laughing a little more. Doing something for the sake of true joy, and not for the sake of probable reward. It’s facing failure and thinking, “So what? I failed and now I'm much closer to success than ever before."
One of Nelson Mandela's quotes:
“What matters in life is not what we lived. How we make a difference in the lives of others will determine the meaning of the lives we lead.”
To make a difference in the lives of others, we must first learn to love fearlessly. We must remind ourselves that we are Beings trying to make sense of this human experience. And all that matters at the end of this journey is not what you achieved. It was about how much you loved yourself, how much you loved the people who walked this path with you, and how freely you gave to them.
All that matters at the end of this journey is how deeply you have touched the souls of those around you through your actions and creations. But, of course, you cannot touch someone with fear, but only with the light of fearless love.
Make it a habit to be solution-oriented.
Principle #5: An optimist is solution-oriented. He believes that there is always a solution and therefore only looks for solutions to problems and not more problems than existing ones.
In a talk entitled "5 Rules to Follow to Find Your Spark," Simon Sinek shared a personal story that led him to a major realization in life:
“There are two ways to see the world. Some people see what they want, and some people see what prevents them from getting what they want."
People who see what they need go after it. When they encounter obstacles, they keep going until they find a way around it because deep down they know what they want.
On the other hand, people who see things that prevent them from getting what they want only see obstacles. Consequently, they take no action.
People of the first group are optimists. There are no people of the second group.
If you want to be in the former, you have to become someone who is solution-oriented. This means that whenever a problem arises, you don't panic, complain, or allow your thoughts to think "this is the worst that can happen." No. Instead, you remain calm, composed, and immediately begin asking questions that will lead you to the right decisions.
You train yourself to become more resourceful by constantly asking the following question: “What can I do right now to solve this problem?”
Always be grateful and accepting
Principle #6: An optimist is grateful and accepting, allowing himself to fully feel what he feels, because that is how he overcomes all his suffering.
Optimism is not positive. Positivity means that everything is fine, even when it is not. This is just nonsense. Positivity means: “Forget about your problems, look on the bright side and move on.” This is repression, not liberation.
Optimism is simply finding positive meaning in negative events—it is a form of resilience. And the way to do this is to use positive emotions during times of stress to better cope with existing negative emotions.
In their research on optimism and resilience, psychologists Michelle Tugade and Barbara Fredrickson explain that “resilient people use positive emotions to recover from stressful encounters and find positive meaning in them.”
This is because they work on using a wider range of emotions to develop optimism:
- How can I use the energy created by this stress and anxiety to help me better cope with the challenges I face?
- What can I learn from this stress and how does it help me change, grow, or find new solutions?
In fact, negative emotions serve a specific purpose; they try to tell us that something is wrong. Listening to them and further exploring why we feel the way we do gets to the root of the problem.
So the idea here is to give in to the flow of life—to work through it, not against it. By being grateful for everything that happens, you accept it. And by accepting it, you will transcend it. As Eckhart Tolle writes in his book The Power of Now:
“Accept - then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.”
Is it good to be them?
Optimism has both pros and cons . People who idealize the idea of an optimistic outlook on life are deeply mistaken.
pros:
- Optimists do not give up . The outcome of a situation always depends on how active a person is. And the optimist wins in this regard, since he will not wait for a successful combination of circumstances and will begin to act himself. At the same time, he will not be stopped by the fact that circumstances are not in his favor.
- Optimists tend to look at a problem through an analytical lens. They are not simply driven by the emotions that can surge at the sight of an impending crisis. They analyze the situation very carefully and in detail in order to grasp the pattern of its development and find the best way out.
- Optimists have weight in society. They attract people and can be great friends and leaders.
That is why they prefer to give leading positions to optimists; they are willing to help and try to establish contact. - Optimists are able to take risks. They, unlike pessimists and even realists, have faith in their own success. And even in case of failure, an optimist will be able to get out of the situation with dignity, turning it to his advantage.
- An optimist is a priori hardworking. After all, he has to resist every day the desire to give up all attempts and fall into the arms of depression. He also constantly takes more and more new steps to achieve his goal, without stopping in the face of difficulties. And there will be exactly as many attempts as it takes to overcome the obstacle.
- An optimist knows how to break ties with the past. He lets go of his failures and tries to use each new day as a chance to start over from scratch, while giving 100%. An optimistic person will not project past disappointments and failures onto current situations with similar variables.
Minuses:
- Conceit .
In some cases, belief in one's own success borders on arrogance. A person takes unjustified risks, fired up by the idea of success. He naively believes in a happy outcome, and when he realizes that he has not coped with the task, he cannot find a way out of the problem due to his lack of preparation for such a result. - An optimist is not prepared for failure . Maybe he's not afraid. But at the same time, he also does not consider the possibility that his idea or activity may fail. Therefore, any failure can take an optimist by surprise.
- One-sided view of the world. Very often, optimists ignore the obvious disadvantages of reality, the true (negative) nature of things and the negative sides of human characters. All this happens because the radical optimist ignores the facts and replaces them with a positive illusion.
- Excessive gullibility. Optimists are easy to exploit, fool, and deceive. After all, a person who holds an optimistic view does not suspect another person of selfish intentions. An optimist may well believe the ardent assurances and promises of a deceiver, becoming a victim of his own worldview.
- Suppression . Some optimists suppress negative emotions. Instead of looking for a reason to be happy, they simply lock away their sadness, anger, resentment and other feelings. All these unpleasant emotions disturb the radical optimist on a conscious and unconscious level, poisoning his life. But at the same time, he cannot give himself permission to broadcast “bad” feelings to the outside world.
- Pessimistic intolerance. Often optimists sin in that they cannot find a common language with pessimists and realists.
They get into arguments, actively promote their views, insist, or simply break ties with pessimists. This makes life very difficult for some representatives of an optimistic outlook, who, due to work obligations, cooperation or other factors, are forced to deal with people who are in a negative mood.
See the beauty
Principle #7: The optimist constantly seeks and reminds herself of the imperfect art , beauty and poetry that surround her.
This seventh and final principle corresponds to the majesty of the Quirinal Hill, the highest of the seven hills of Rome. It is an honest embodiment of all the previous principles that lead you to this: the gift of seeing beauty in all that is.
Think about it:
If you choose to believe that your aspirations are possible, you will see beauty in your imagination. If you choose to do the daily work that will get you there, you will see beauty in your efforts and progress.
If you choose to focus only on what you can control—yourself—you will see the beauty that can only be found within yourself. And if you choose to love deeply and completely, you will see the beauty in becoming fearless.
If you choose to be solution-oriented, you will see the beauty and joy in solving problems. And if you choose to always be grateful and accepting, you will see the beauty of life's many blessings and the meaning of your efforts.
This last principle itself embodies what it means to live a life based on the philosophy of optimism: like life itself, we are imperfect and impermanent, and this is what makes us so beautiful.
Practice the Seven Principles of Optimism and You'll Become Naturally Optimistic
Optimism is about acknowledging today's challenges and giving yourself permission to hope even when you feel very anxious, anxious, unhappy or afraid. It's not about ignoring your negative feelings about an impending crisis, but about finding a way to keep them from overpowering you.
Optimism is simply believing that the future can still be wonderful. Even if it doesn't seem plausible right now, then work intentionally today to make that future come true.
Meaning
Optimistic or optimistic outlook on life - what does it mean? Conventionally, the world can be divided into “black” and “white” .
People who have an optimistic outlook on life tend to focus on the “white” or positive. And even in “black” or negative, they try to discern light shades.
An optimistic outlook on life does not mean that a person is divorced from reality and lives in a fantasy world . The whole point of a positive attitude is that a person finds a reason to smile in the external environment.
It finds, not invents . This is why the optimistic view tends to strengthen.
And if a person engages in positive self-deception, if the “castles in the air” quickly break down against the cruel reality, which will lead to acute pessimism.
An optimistic outlook can be developed through long-term training. To do this, it is enough to understand the essence of the concept of “optimism” and, guided by the main points, develop sensitivity to everything that, upon closer examination, can become the basis for strengthening a positive position.
