Domestic violence against a child: types, signs, consequences, prevention

The essence and causes of violence

The family is the first social institution for a child. This is a place in which he should always feel safe, but sometimes the opposite happens: the family turns out to be the most dangerous place for a child.

Violence is the use of force or psychological attacks on weak and defenseless people (children). But violence can also be inaction, which creates a threat to the physical and mental health of the child. It is doubly dangerous if violence and family are one and the same.

The origin of this phenomenon is usually attributed to the 19th century, when the industrialization of society began, and children began to be exploited, sent to work, deprived of education and prospects. At the same time, the first public organizations began to appear to protect children from violence and exploitation.

In the 20th century, new approaches to studying the problem of violence and abuse of children appeared. The first classifications were compiled. Then violence was divided into pediatric, psychiatric and legal.

The main causes of violence include:

similar experience in the lives of spouses (model, behavioral stereotype);
personal experience in the form of suppression in childhood, an authoritative parenting style on the part of the mother (in the future reflected in violence against women, as attempts to break ties with the mother);
the influence of socio-economic unfavorable conditions, unemployment, low social status;
dissatisfaction with oneself and life;
psychopathology;
deviations and addictions;
fear;
inadequate self-affirmation and achievement of power caused by low self-esteem and low self-esteem;
an unwanted child in the family.

The cause of violence, naturally, lies in the psyche of the parent. The need to find this and work through it is one of the tasks of a psychotherapist when working with a family (the work is carried out not only with the child). Any aggression or violence always has a subjective motive. Another question is that it is not always recognized by the aggressor himself.

Sometimes violence is an attempt to stabilize the state of the family as a system, for example, in the struggle for order or power. Then you need to work with the family as a system and eliminate the causes of its dysfunction. Otherwise, violence will become either chronic or episodic.

Child abuse as a psychological trauma has a number of features:

Children do not always understand the essence of what is happening;
if they are aware of the essence, they are not always aware of the true consequences for their physical and mental health;
events can be forgotten (the children's brain is designed to quickly displace negativity), but make themselves felt in adulthood;
Children are more likely to tell peers about violence rather than to another family member (if at all).

What to do and where to go for help

You cannot remain indifferent to violence against a child. This applies not only to family members, but also to surrounding people who notice that something wrong is happening with the child. At the first alarm bells, you should seek help from the following authorities:

local guardianship and trusteeship authorities, whose duties include monitoring the living conditions, education and upbringing of children, as well as representing the interests of minors in court;
the prosecutor's office is a government body that protects the rights of minors in court, and can also file lawsuits in court for deprivation of parental rights;
local police department.

Types of violence

Violence can be direct or indirect, isolated or systematic, current or past. But the classification according to the content of violence is more important than others:

Physical violence. These are any physical acts of violence against a child under 18 years of age, including punishment options (spanking, pushing, grabbing, etc.).
Neglect of responsibilities. This means failure to comply with parental responsibilities, ignoring the needs of the child, and inadequate care for the child.
Sexual violence. Using a child under 18 for the purpose of obtaining sexual pleasure. Any erotic contact with or exploitation of a child (pornography).
Psychological abuse. Humiliation, insults, ridicule and other degrading behavior patterns.

Sexual violence includes several forms:

Depraved acts. Any actions on the part of an adult that can cause excitement in a child under 14 years of age and form an inadequate attitude towards sexual relations. Actions can be physical (bodily) or intellectual (demonstration of materials).
Pedophilia. Sexual harassment of a child under 14 years of age.
Pornography. Any form of demonstration of sexual relations (books, films, magazines).
Coercion to engage in sexual activity. Not physical, but mental influence on the child, gradually forcing him to enter into some kind of sexual relationship. You can put pressure with the status of an adult, with blackmail.

Child abuse is a general term for any kind of violence. This is actual harm to a child:

through insults and incorrect punishments;
inadequate requirements and strict control;
prohibitions.

Abuse can be called physical actions (beatings), murder, harm due to failure to provide assistance, neglect of a child and his needs, mental harm, lack of protection and care.

Mental characteristics of affected children

Children who have experienced domestic violence have serious psychological trauma, which is the result of a person’s personal and behavioral characteristics. They are subject to unmotivated outbursts of anger and transfer their own aggression to younger children and animals. Other children, on the contrary, may be overly withdrawn and passive, which causes problems in communicating with peers. Some may try to attract attention through defiant behavior or suicide attempts.

Children who have been sexually abused may have knowledge that is unusual for their age and behave strangely with peers. With age, they themselves can become aggressors towards other people sexually.

Susceptible to depression. They often have low self-esteem, which makes it difficult for them to achieve success in the future.

Signs of violence

It is not easy to suspect external violence, which is due to:

the closeness of the family as a system;
interdependent relationship between aggressor and victim;
lack of information;
intimidation and mistrust on the part of the victim.

Basically it all comes down to the fact that a family where violence reigns is a closed system. But there are a few things that can hint at child abuse:

screams, claps, slaps, swearing, clearly audible behind the wall (many apartments are separated by thin walls, and violence does not always occur silently);
traces of beatings on the child;
the child’s unkempt appearance, clothing inappropriate for the weather.

Signs of physical abuse include:

damage to body organs and sensory organ disturbances;
inactivity, lethargy, delayed physical and mental development;
anxiety and aggression towards other people or animals;
shyness, passivity, fear of adults;
avoidance of home, fear of tactile contacts;
communication with young children.

Signs of psychological abuse include:

psychotrauma and (or) post-traumatic stress syndrome;
in children up to middle school age – delay in physical and speech development;
in adolescents – loss of meaning and purpose in life, disorientation, thoughts of suicide;
impulsiveness, anger, manipulative disorders (thumb sucking, hair pulling);
humility and pliability;
fears and problems with sleep;
depression and lethargy;
deviations;
diseases.

Signs of child sexual abuse:

the child's age-inappropriate or strange awareness of sexual matters or activities;
sexual harassment by a child of other children or adults;
complaints about some health problems, especially in the genital area;
anxiety when other children cry;
nervous tics, rocking, thumb sucking.

Common signs of violence:

the child's inability to concentrate;
memory impairment;
self-hatred, lack of self-esteem, low self-esteem;
pessimism;
mistrust towards the whole world, especially adults;
attacks of anger or aggression;
chronic feelings of fear, shame, guilt;
detachment from society;
depression;
anhedonia.

According to the law of the Russian Federation, a child himself can apply to the guardianship authorities for protection, and from the age of 14 - to the court, but rarely does a child decide to do this. Violence is usually accompanied by intimidation, as well as fear and habituation of the victim.

Each case of violence (cruelty and intensity) is assessed individually. The individual sensitivity of the child, age and the nature of the relationship between him and the adult are taken into account.

The most difficult thing to suspect is psychological violence or violence against the soul of a child. This is a multifaceted category:

lack of love and attention;
threats and ridicule;
inadequate and excessive demands;
any parental behavior that causes fear in the child;
prohibitions;
psychological pressure;
overprotection;
manipulation;
any motives “out of love” that are harmful to the child’s health.

Because of this, low self-esteem, self-doubt, and loss of self-esteem are noted. With overprotection, a feeling of helplessness and complete dependence on parents develops. Separation from the family, social or physical orphanhood of a child forever leaves a mark in the form of a feeling of emotional insecurity. It is not a fact that the consequences will immediately manifest themselves; they may arise years later.

Developmental disorder

In families where violence against a child flourishes, a lag in his physical and neuropsychic development is noticed. It has been noted that a negative attitude towards a baby can influence him even at the stage of intrauterine development. Unwanted children are often born prematurely, have congenital health problems, and develop more slowly than their peers.

Children exposed to violence lag behind their peers in weight and height, and they study worse. Such people often have a sick, rumpled appearance: pale skin, circles under the eyes, unkempt hair, wrinkled clothes. These are introverted children who may have bad habits. They have difficulty socializing in society, do not get along with their peers, and avoid everyone.

Consequences of violence

A child or adolescent who has experienced violence feels fear, confusion, shame, and powerlessness. He often blames himself and perceives himself as an accomplice and the root cause of what happened. Sometimes he considers his behavior or position in the family to be the reason. Other consequences include a decrease in trust and social circle.

Many reactions depend on the age of the child:

Children under 3 years old. Popular reactions include: fear, mixed feelings, aggression, loss of appetite.
Preschoolers. There is anxiety, fearfulness, feelings of guilt and shame, mixed feelings, disgust, and a feeling of helplessness.
Junior schoolchildren. There is uncertainty among the student in family roles, an ambivalent attitude towards adults, fear, shame, disgust, and distrust of the whole world.
Younger teenagers. Depression and sensory emptiness (there are no sensations or feelings) are added to the previous consequences.
Older teenagers. Characterized by disgust, shame, guilt, duality of feelings towards adults, deviant behavior, and a feeling of uselessness.

Sexual violence is especially dangerous when it manifests itself in adulthood:

psychosomatic diseases;
lack of acceptance of your body;
dependent behavior;
problems in sexual relationships;
repeated violence (men who have been subjected to violence commit it themselves; women who have been subjected to violence find themselves again in the role of victims).

As the child gets older, there may also be retaliatory violence, loss of self-esteem, mental disorders, and suicide attempts.

Any violence in adult life leaves the following traces:

violation of self-concept;
guilt;
depression;
sexual dysfunctions;
problems in interpersonal relationships.

Violation of physical and mental boundaries as a result of violence affects the entire future life and behavior of a person. And the experience is repeated again and again.

In general, three areas of violence can be distinguished in a family: parents against children, adults against adults, and one of the family members against the elderly. And each of these forms is dangerous for the child. If it is not he himself who is subjected to violence, but, for example, his mother, then the following are possible:

psychoemotional and psychosomatic disorders;
school maladjustment;
problems in social adaptation.

Families with violence are always at risk, since such an atmosphere is not suitable for raising a child. Children who grow up in violence, as a rule, later become victims or aggressors themselves (95%).

Diseases

One of the consequences of violence against children in the family can be various injuries: fractures, bruises, damage to internal organs, burns. As a result, the child may become disabled or lose his life.

The consequences of sexual violence include damage to the genital organs, sexually transmitted diseases (AIDS, gonorrhea, syphilis, various infections).

The listed forms of violence are often accompanied by emotional and psychological pressure, which can cause problems with the psyche and nervous system. Such children exhibit nervous tics and stuttering.

Weakened by constant stress, the body is susceptible to various infectious and bacterial diseases. Children who have been subjected to violence often suffer from allergies, urinary and fecal incontinence, and respiratory pathologies. As adults, they are more likely to get cancer.

Diagnosis of violence

It is also difficult to identify violence because parents themselves do not always perceive their actions as violent. They raise their child, yes, using the carrot method without the stick, but this is education. Or the carrot and stick method, then the child takes the beatings for granted for his misdeeds and therefore is even less likely to tell anyone.

There is one more thing that complicates the situation. In fact, any violence is associated with mental violence. Therefore, we have to work with several forms of violence at once.

Physical violence

Diagnostic signs of abuse that can be noted during a conversation with parents:

nervous behavior;
a fantastic description of the origins of a child's injuries;
blaming other people or the child himself;
multiple contradictions in injury history;
accusing a child of lying;
inadequate assessment, expectations and requirements that are not appropriate for the child’s age or developmental level.

Suspicion should be strengthened by the fact that the child is often in the emergency room, repeated similar injuries, and a large time interval between the injuries and going to the hospital.

The problem is that it is possible to notice nonverbal and verbal signs of parents’ lies and resourcefulness only in conditions of close observation and communication. Is this situation available to everyone who cares? No. The neighbor won't be allowed on the threshold of the house. Only social workers can achieve such a meeting with parents. The task of witnesses and eyewitnesses is to facilitate this meeting.

Diagnostic reactions during conversations with children:

anxiety;
reluctance and fear of meeting parents;
the child’s conviction that punishment is justified;
fear that social workers (defenders) will side with the parents after the conversation and find out that the punishments are justified by the child’s bad behavior;
crying at any failure;
tendency to fight;
flinching at the slightest movement of a hand nearby.

Sometimes it really happens that a child comes up with a story about violence, which may be caused by a need for attention and sympathy, conflicts with friends or in a family rich in imagination. But then the child’s emotional and behavioral reactions will contradict the content of the story. In such cases, fear of parents and other signs and consequences of violence are not noted, but the child’s pleasure in being listened to and enthusiasm for the story is noticeable.

The described signs cannot be regarded separately from the context and family history, but there are a number of diagnostic markers that make it clear about physical abuse:

bruises, bites, burns, scars;
signs of suffocation;
any damage that remains without a clear and correct explanation on the part of the parents;
low self-esteem of the child;
reluctance and fear to return home;
baggy clothes that hide beatings;
self-accusation of provocations towards the rapist;
the child perceives beatings as family order and norm;
excitement, crying, fear during screams, scandals.

Sexual violence

The difficulty in diagnosing sexual violence is that some family members may cover for others, even if the crime is known.

Teenagers react more seriously because they understand what exactly happened to them. As a rule, they change their entire lifestyle, clothing, and environment. Healthy feelings such as empathy and sympathy turn into aggression or blind subordination (to a person, to a cause). Pre-adolescent children show classic signs.

Diagnostic markers of child sexual abuse in the family include:

good knowledge in matters of sexual relations beyond one's age;
bruises, itching, blood in the genital area;
sexual behavioral perversions;
sudden changes in the child’s behavior;
change in gait, discomfort when walking and sitting;
eating disorders;
self-loathing;
nightmares and sleep disturbances;
suicidal tendencies and depression;
indulgence, compliance in relation to adults;
deviant behavior.

Neglecting the child's needs

The most common type of violence and the least understood by parents. Even in seemingly prosperous families one can find its elements, for example, a lack of love and attention due to being busy at work.

Therefore, this species is the most controversial in terms of diagnosis. It is customary to judge neglect when there are obvious and serious violations: the child is hungry, poorly dressed, dirty, does not receive medical care or education, is left alone and is in danger.

Deprived children are characterized by promiscuity in building relationships and attempts to attract attention. Other diagnostic markers include:

pedagogical neglect (small vocabulary, speech problems);
retardation in physical development;
unpleasant smell, dirt and hunger;
depression, passivity and fearfulness;
stinginess of emotions and poverty of reactions to kindness and praise;
a feeling of uselessness and the belief “I am not good, I don’t deserve anything, and I will never deserve anything.”

Psychological abuse

The behavior of adults plays a decisive role in diagnosis. Psychological abuse can be suspected if parents:

they are in no hurry to console the child, communicate with him, or hug him;
are hypercritical of the child;
scold, insult, humiliate;
characterize the child negatively;
they take out their anger on him on one of his relatives (they associate the child with him);
openly admit their dislike;
blame him for their failures.

The child will hint at psychological abuse:

uncertainty and low self-esteem;
speech and perception delay;
tension from anticipation of punishment;
undeveloped logical thinking;
disrespect and distrust of adults;
feigned maturity or independence as a defensive reaction;
suicidal tendencies.

Numerous transformations in various spheres of life of Russian society: economic, social, political, psychological and pedagogical have led to an increase in aggression and violence in society, including family violence, which affects, first of all, children as the most unprotected and vulnerable social group. In many families, punishment is practically the only method in raising children. And according to the results of a sociological study commissioned by the Children's Support Fund, conducted by the Institute of Sociology of the Russian Academy of Sciences, 51.8% of mothers and fathers generally believe that physical punishment of children is normal, because about half of today's parents themselves were subjected to corporal punishment in childhood and do not believe that commit violence against children. So what is violence, what is its impact on the child’s psyche, and how to distinguish the usual adequate methods in raising a child from violent actions against him? Let's try to understand this problem in more detail and consider it from a psychological point of view.

Violence is a violation of another's behavior (Philosophical Dictionary). People who generally have a poor sense of boundaries in communication and are accustomed to aggressively defending their interests can violate other people’s behavior, that is, go beyond the boundaries of communication established by humans and social norms. The main goal of any violence is to establish control over the victim.

Child abuse is the abuse of children. May take the form of physical, sexual, emotional abuse or neglect. According to WHO, child abuse is a global problem with serious lifelong consequences.

Violence from a psychological point of view is cruel treatment of a child, which is understood as any action or inaction towards him, as a result of which the health and social well-being of the child is disrupted, conditions are created that interfere with his optimal physical and mental development, and his rights and freedoms are infringed .

According to WHO, approximately 20% of women and 5-10% of men report experiencing sexual violence in childhood; 25-50% of all children report being physically abused.

In Russia, according to 1997 data, every year about 2 million children under the age of 14 are beaten by their parents, 10% of these children die from beatings, and 2 thousand children commit suicide. As of 2012, the Ministry of Internal Affairs annually records more than 600 thousand offenses against minors, of which 400 thousand are offenses committed by parents against their own children.

According to Rosstat, in 2010 in Russia, 100 thousand minors suffered from criminal attacks, of which 1.7 thousand died, 2.4 thousand suffered serious harm to health. In recent years, Russia has seen a decrease in the number of children victims of crime. So, in 2006, their number was 194 thousand, of which 2.9 thousand died, 3.0 thousand suffered serious harm to health.

In the United States in 2011, 676,569 minors suffered from maltreatment of children under 18 years of age, including 118,825 children from physical abuse and 61,472 children from sexual abuse.

Psychologists distinguish five types of violence:

Physical violence is the infliction of various physical injuries on a child by parents or persons replacing them. Some families use various types of physical punishment as disciplinary measures - from slaps and spankings to spanking with a belt. It is important to recognize that physical violence is truly a physical attack and is almost always accompanied by verbal abuse and mental trauma.

Many parents try to justify their behavior; there are several standard justifications for child abuse:

“Children as a source of problems” - parents claim that “children themselves provoke violence.” Provoking violence means that if the child behaved differently: was obedient, helped around the house, behaved with dignity, then he would not need to be punished. In this situation, attention is focused on the actions of the injured child as the reason for the negative behavior of elders, that is, it turns out that it is the child’s behavior that leads to violence. But research proves that children can try in every possible way to please the offender, who will still find a reason to use aggression.

“Atypical family”—abuse is justified by the demographic characteristics and social status of the families. Often physical punishment in a single-parent family is associated with methods of managing anger and irritability, which are common not only in poor families at risk, but also in wealthier ones.

Drunkenness breeds aggression - they are looking for the roots of violence in the alcoholism of parents. Alcohol use reduces the ability to control behavior, but abusers include men and women who lead a healthy lifestyle and do not use tobacco or alcohol. Some, having undergone treatment for alcoholism, continued to be aggressive and cruel towards loved ones. Numerous studies have shown that alcohol does not cause violence, but is used by offenders as an excuse for aggressive behavior.

“The inevitability of evil” - fighting domestic violence is futile because it is widespread and has existed everywhere and always. However, crime statistics indicate the opposite - according to official data, more than 3,000 children die annually in the CIS countries as a result of murder or physical violence, which is higher than in the countries of the European Union, where the system for combating and preventing domestic violence is very well developed. This fact is further aggravated by the fact that, unlike other countries, Russia lacks mechanisms, including legislative ones.

Emotional abuse is constant or periodic verbal abuse of a child, humiliation of his human dignity, accusing him of something for which he is not guilty, demonstration of dislike, hostility towards the child. This violence also includes constant lying, deception of the child (as a result of which he loses trust in an adult), as well as demands placed on the child that do not correspond to his age capabilities.
Neglect of the interests and needs of the child - lack of proper provision of the basic needs and requirements of the child for food, clothing, housing, upbringing, education, medical care on the part of parents or persons replacing them, due to objective reasons (poverty, mental illness, inexperience) and without them .
One of the manifestations of cruelty towards a child is a woman’s lack of love for her child when he is not yet born. those. child from an unwanted pregnancy. Being emotionally rejected even before birth, such children are born prematurely twice as often as children from a desired pregnancy, they are more likely to have low body weight, more often get sick in the first months of life, and develop worse.
Lack of care

Neglect is the neglect of a child's basic needs (food, clothing, shelter, medical care, or supervision) by a parent or other person responsible for the child, resulting in the child's health, safety, and well-being being compromised. Observable signs of neglect include the child repeatedly not attending school, begging, the child stealing money or food, dirty skin or clothing, and lack of seasonal clothing.

Neglected children may experience delays in physical and psychosocial development, which may result in psychopathology and impairments in neuropsychological functioning, including executive function, attention, language, memory, and social skills. According to research, children who have experienced neglect tend to subsequently not perceive adults as a source of security and demonstrate increased aggressiveness and hyperactivity, which can interfere with the formation of healthy and strong attachments to adoptive parents. Adapting to an abusive or unstable parent or caregiver, such children become wary and distrustful; Their insincerity and manipulative tendencies are often noted. Victims of neglect may later have difficulty forming and maintaining friendships and romantic relationships as a result of a lack of attachment in childhood.

Consequences

Any type of child abuse leads to a wide variety of consequences, but they all have one thing in common - damage to the child’s health or danger to his life. There are immediate and long-term consequences of abuse and neglect of children.

The immediate consequences include physical injuries, damage, acute mental disorders in response to any type of aggression. The child is gripped by an acute experience of fear, anxiety and anger. Children who have been subjected to cruel treatment are often stunted in height and weight, they begin to walk, talk, and laugh less often. Some of these children exhibit “bad habits”: finger sucking, nail biting, rocking. Older children may develop severe depression with a feeling of self-worth and inferiority.

Among the long-term consequences of child abuse are disorders of the child’s physical and mental development, various somatic diseases, personal and emotional disorders, and social consequences. Almost all children who have suffered from abuse and neglect have experienced mental trauma, as a result of which they develop further with certain personal, emotional and behavioral characteristics. Negatively affecting their future life.

Children who have been subjected to various types of violence themselves experience anger, which is most often poured out on the weaker: younger children, on animals. Often their aggressiveness manifests itself in the game, sometimes their outbursts of anger have no apparent reason. Some of them, on the contrary, are overly passive and cannot defend themselves. The most common reaction to violence is low self-esteem. A person with low self-esteem experiences feelings of guilt and shame. As a result, it is difficult for the child to achieve the respect of others, success, and communication with peers is difficult.

The most offensive thing is that children - victims of violence - often find a solution to their problems in a criminal, asocial environment, and this is often accompanied by the development of their addiction to alcohol, drugs, they begin to steal and commit other criminal acts. Girls often begin to engage in prostitution, and boys may become disturbed in their sexual orientation. Both subsequently experience difficulties in creating their own families; they cannot give their children enough warmth because their own emotional problems have not been resolved.

Most cases of domestic violence against children do not reach the police for various reasons. Parents refuse to testify, in addition, there is very low social responsibility of neighbors, relatives - all those who can see or hear a child being beaten. And the children themselves believe that any family is better than an orphanage, and they are also afraid of losing the love of unmerciful parents. Victim protection and violence prevention

Violence against children is prohibited by a number of international instruments and national laws. Russian legislation provides for various types of liability for child abuse: administrative (for failure to fulfill or improper performance of duties for the maintenance, education, training, protection of the rights and interests of minors - Article 5.35 of the Administrative Code) or criminal (for all types of physical and sexual violence against children , for example, Article 116 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation (beatings), Article 117 (torture), Article 131 (rape), Article 135 (depraved acts).Violence against children can also serve as a basis for bringing parents or persons in their stead to civil liability in accordance with the Family Code of the Russian Federation (deprivation or restriction of parental rights, removal of a child in the event of an immediate threat to his life or health).

Many countries have social services that identify cases of child abuse and neglect. In Russia, there are legislative obstacles to the creation of such a service - two important international legal documents have not been ratified: the Optional Protocol to the Convention on the Rights of the Child on the sale of children, child prostitution and child pornography (2000) and the Convention on Computer Crime (Budapest, 23 November 2001).

However, in Russia there are various helplines for children, in particular the All-Russian free helpline:

8 800 2000 122

Prevention

According to the official WHO position, multisectoral programs aimed at supporting parents and teaching them skills in caring for and raising a child are most effective in preventing violence against children. Such programs include home visits by nurses to parents and children to provide support, education, and information, as well as group sessions for parents to teach parenting skills, expand knowledge of child development, and develop positive child-handling strategies.

WHO also recommends specific programs to prevent head injuries from shaken baby syndrome (educating young parents about shaken baby syndrome in hospitals before the newborn is discharged) and programs to prevent child sexual abuse (educating children in schools about the ownership of their own body, learning to recognize threatening situations, learning to refuse an elder and telling a trustworthy adult about the incident).

Psychologists of the State Clinical Institution "VOTSMP": Ivina M.K. Shmakova O.G.

Rehabilitation

Eliminating violence always requires comprehensive work by a psychologist with parents and children. The most effective methods are:

psychotherapy;
individual and group consultations;
trainings.

When interacting with a child, you must first achieve his favor and trust. To do this, you cannot focus on the situation, that is, say “Don’t be afraid,” “Don’t worry.” The main method of working with a child is a consultation conversation. But only a qualified specialist can carry it out.

Violence is always a stressful situation for a child, leading to psychological trauma. Accordingly, work should be aimed at eliminating psychotrauma and post-traumatic stress disorder, if it is observed. The best method is psychotherapy.

Fighting methods

The problem of violence against children in the family extends to all social strata of society. Often, only the caring people around you can prevent and protect a child. If signs of such actions towards a child are detected, it is necessary to contact social services, which will take control of the family.

In such a situation, parents, like the child, often need psychological help. The family is registered and supervised by the social service. If violent acts are repeated, the child is removed from the family.

If a child is seriously injured, parents should be deprived of their rights and, in addition, must bear criminal liability for their actions. The normative act according to which parents can be deprived of their parental rights for violence against children in the family is Article 69 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation. For causing harm to the health of a child, punishment is provided in the form of a fine of 40 thousand rubles or correctional labor for up to 6 months. Torture of a child is punishable by imprisonment from 3 to 7 years.

Prevention of violence

The main directions of prevention: education and information. They should be carried out in relation to children, parents, employees of child care institutions and all citizens in general. It is important to say:

about what violence is;
about its types;
what to do if you become a witness or victim of violence;
what is the responsibility for violence;
where you can report violence (organizations, telephone numbers).

You should not talk in the context of “how to avoid becoming a victim of violence,” as this immediately sets the stage for self-accusation. As stated in the article, victims already tend to look within themselves for the reason, but this is not the case.

Problems with socialization

Children who have experienced violence experience enormous difficulties in social adaptation; it is difficult for them to find a common language with their peers. They often have problems with alcohol and drugs, with the help of which they find peace. Girls tend to engage in prostitution, and boys have disturbed sexual orientation.

It is difficult for such children to create their own families. They often transfer their experiences onto their own children, becoming aggressors. Therefore, the cycle of domestic violence continues from generation to generation.

When a witness becomes a victim

But it is not only the aggressor who is formed as a result of domestic violence. With the same degree of probability, a small witness of domestic violence will turn into its victim. Who exactly will turn out from him depends on which model is more deeply deposited in his subconscious and whose side he most often took in childhood.

A child who justifies the aggressor in childhood (“It’s her own fault. Why didn’t she do as he said?” “He’s strong, which means he’s always right”) is more likely to grow up to be a potential victim. For him, submission to the strong is the norm.

Neglecting the child's needs

Neglect of a child’s needs is extremely rarely recognized by parents as psychological violence, but it is also violence.

Neglect of the child's needs is often found in dysfunctional families. We all understand that situations where children do not receive adequate nutrition, when they do not have clothing and necessary personal belongings, and do not receive medical care at the right time are not the norm. However, neglect of the child’s needs also occurs in those families that seem to be quite prosperous.

Accelerated development or a toy that is not appropriate for age. The mother of a one-year-old child buys him toys not according to his age, but for children 2-3 years older, motivating the purchases by the fact that she wants the child to develop. However, it turns out that the child does not have the opportunity to develop according to his age; at the moment he needs very simple toys: a ball, pyramids, rattles, the simplest sorter. Mom buys her son puzzles and various educational aids... Such a mother may seem very caring at first glance. However, an adult’s passion for advanced development is simultaneously a neglect of the child’s actual needs.

Parents of schoolchildren often neglect their children's desire to play, believing that they are already old enough to stop playing with toys. Therefore, a schoolchild who dreamed of receiving Lego for his birthday receives a globe (microscope, telescope, tracksuit or skis). Of course, such a gift in itself is a wonderful thing. But often a younger schoolchild still needs toys... And neglecting this need (not seeing it) is violence.

A particularly cruel form of such violence is restrictions that prevent the child from meeting important needs. For example, if a kindergarten teacher does not allow a child to go to the toilet during quiet time, then the teacher is neglecting the child’s physiological needs (the same applies to the inability to leave the classroom during a lesson). The consequence may be, for example, the development of neurosis in the child.

The mother may unknowingly neglect the needs of the child because she did not want him to be born. So, she may not call a doctor, believing that the case is not worth it, or she may simply forget to give the child medicine on time. It happens that mothers introduce complementary foods to their child too late (for example, after a year).

In my opinion, this type of violence is most difficult for adults (whether parents or teachers) to recognize as violence. That is why it is very important - both for teachers and parents - to think about their behavior, about what consequences the actions of an adult can lead to.

What should parents do?

“The best way to make children good is to make them happy” Oscar Wilde. Wonderful, smart, healthy and developed children in every sense of the word grow up only in love. A child should be loved not because he is neat, calm, beautiful, flexible, and so on, but because he is! Of course, there is no education without punishment, but you need to correctly and competently guide your blood through life. Warn about dangers, talk about all the topics that concern him, and not refer to being busy. Share your own impressions and opinions, suggest what to do in a given situation. Allow him to make his own mistakes, otherwise his character will not develop, do not shut his mouth and, especially, do not yell or put pressure on him with authority. This does not mean being on an equal footing and indulging in every whim. This means recognizing the dignity and importance of a little person, respecting him and accepting him for who he is, slightly and unobtrusively correcting some shortcomings that are likely to hinder him in later life.