What is sentimentality in simple words and how to deal with it

Definition

The word sentimentality comes from the French sentiment and is translated as “feeling.” Wikipedia refers to it as a mental property in which external impressions act not on the mind, but on the feelings. This mood manifests itself in the form of receptivity, enthusiasm, daydreaming, tenderness, touch and empathy for reasons that do not cause all of the above in other people.

An example that is probably familiar to many: when two people are watching a film, one is in tears, and the other sits with a stony face and does not understand what there is to cry about. This is an extreme manifestation of sentimentality, giving a person tearfulness and cloying sensitivity.

In simple words, a sentimental person is one who experiences positive and negative feelings more acutely than others. He is easy to please, surprise, impress. And it’s just as easy to hurt and offend.

Sentimentality can also be selective. For example, apply only to animals, but not to affect stories about people. In addition, this quality often coexists with cynicism and aggressiveness. Therefore, impressionable and sensitive does not always mean kind and compassionate.

Sentimental - what is it?

Taking everything to heart, trying on any situation, even the closest interlocutor, worrying about things that seem trivial from the outside - the reason for this is the person’s temperament and upbringing. The combination of these factors distinguishes people who, for example, cry at the movie Hachiko.

"Sentiment" is a concept borrowed from the French language, where "sentiment" is translated as "feeling." This is a psychological trait characterized by increased perception of the outside world and daydreaming.

Manifestation in women and men

Sentimentality is considered to be the prerogative of women. And in vain. Representatives of the fairer sex indeed have a slightly greater mobility of the nervous system and have a different direction of thinking from men. But in fact, the biggest role here is played by a person’s temperament, and, as is known, it does not depend on gender.

Sanguine and choleric people are most susceptible to sentiment. In addition, sensitivity is affected by instability of the nervous system. Based on this, melancholic people also fall into the group with increased susceptibility.

You may be wondering how a person's temperament differs from their character.

The only reason that can explain why women are more emotional and vulnerable is their testosterone level. The higher its level in the body, the less sentimental the person is. Men have tens of times more testosterone. But over the years, this hormone decreases in both sexes. This is one of the reasons why older people become more sensitive.

Let's see what are the characteristics of the manifestation of sentimentality in men and women.

In men

From childhood, boys are told that real men don't cry. Most people learn to suppress emotions and develop neuroses. There are creative people who are not shy about their feelings and boldly express them in public. But among representatives of other professions there are many sentimental men who are susceptible to strong emotions regarding a certain area.

For example, they can admire the successes of their children, empathize with the hardships of loved ones, feel delighted about their hobbies, etc. In addition, men perceive their own illnesses, problems at work, and failures in business much more keenly.

There are men who beautifully look after girls: they give flowers, arrange candlelit dinners, come up with surprises. This is also a manifestation of sentimentality, which is called romance.

Among women

Society gives the weaker sex more freedom to express their emotions. And often girls use this for selfish purposes: they pout, throw hysterics, and cry. Some try to manipulate a partner or child in this way, others seek pity and sympathy, others seek concessions at work, etc.

But, as we have already found out, men can be no less sensitive. Only in their case, sentimentality is most often noticed in the context of positive events, and female sensitivity manifests itself in negative ones.

Causes

We have already partially explained why some people are more sentimental than others. Let’s briefly summarize the main aspects and find out what else makes us cry without serious reasons:

Feature of the psyche. This includes representatives of certain types of temperament, as well as creative individuals who subtly sense the world around them and other people.
Hormones . This is not only a decreased level of testosterone, but also a change in hormonal levels that occurs, for example, during pregnancy. This is why women become very sensitive and whiny during pregnancy. In addition, increased emotional excitability is caused by periods of menstruation, menopause, and certain diseases.
Age. Again, this is due to changes in hormonal levels and a decrease in testosterone levels. In addition, older people often remember their youth, sometimes the experience they live causes regret or nostalgia, which adds reasons for longing and sentimentality.
Upbringing. Hysterical character traits can be provoked by a lack of attention, double, contradictory and unfair instructions, despotic upbringing or the absence of it at all.

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Potassium and magnesium

Infection is stressful for the body, and when stressed, the adrenal glands release large amounts of cortisol, which leads to the leaching of potassium and magnesium. Research has shown that 37.2% of hospitalized patients with COVID-19 pneumonia had low potassium levels. Patients with hypokalemia had lower blood saturation and a higher percentage of lung tissue damage. If, against the background of hypokalemia, magnesium deficiency also develops, the symptoms intensify. Dizziness, fatigue, irritability, and sleep problems appear. Replenishing the lack of potassium and magnesium in the blood will help minimize the symptoms of asthenia and improve well-being.

Advantages and disadvantages

It is impossible to say for sure whether sentimentality is a positive or negative property. Everything is good in moderation.

Inconvenience can only come from excessive sensitivity, when a person begins to cry and get offended for any reason. It is difficult to live and work with such people. At the same time, it is worth noting that callousness and soullessness also do not bring joy in communication.

So, about the disadvantages:

Sentimental people are less practical, they are daydreamer and often have their head in the clouds. The modern pace and conditions of life are such that those who are more stable in emotions and look at problems soberly win.
Excessive tearfulness is emotionally draining and threatens burnout.
Many people begin to feel guilty because they cannot help everyone. And this is also a very destructive state. By the way, we have a separate publication on how to get rid of guilt.
An overly sentimental person risks becoming a subject of manipulation by others.
Extreme sensitivity spoils love, friendship and work relationships.
Overly sensitive and dreamy people tend to idealize when it comes to positive emotions. Conversely, they can overwhelm themselves by experiencing negative experiences.

Now about the advantages:

Moderate sentimentality helps to build friendly, trusting relationships with people around you.
Sensitive people are more capable of empathy, compassion and support than others. They subtly sense the moods and states of other people.

Healthy sentimentality is the expression of emotions on occasion and the ability to quickly return to reality. For example, if a father is moved at his son’s wedding or a girl wipes away tears while reading a romance novel with a sad ending. This quality does not harm anyone - neither those around him, nor the person himself.

Is sentimentality good or bad?

It is better to consider each character trait from different angles, from the point of view of necessity and value for a person’s life. Therefore, many people wonder: is being sentimental good or bad? It is impossible to give a definite answer, besides, everything in life is relative. However, it is worth speculating on this matter so that everyone can draw the right conclusion for themselves.

Is it bad when a person is able to heartily empathize with others? Individuals endowed with this quality fully share the sadness and joy of those around them. And how nice it is when, at a wedding ceremony or when being discharged from the maternity hospital, loved ones do not hold back their tears. Perhaps sentimentality in a person is nothing more than a sign of a living, unossified soul. After all, in modern society people are closed and lonely. It is no longer customary to go on a visit without an invitation, to simply help women carry a heavy bag home, and even to give a compliment to a colleague is considered unnecessary by many. Everyone is fixated on their own problems, and openness and naturalness are considered strange and suspicious.

One thing is clear that sentimentality is not a negative character trait, but in a sense important and rare. However, one should not assume that people with this quality are weak. History shows that some famous writers and cruel rulers were sentimental individuals and became touched in certain situations. It follows from this that this character trait does not apply to all spheres of people’s life. Some people are moved to tears by animals, although when communicating with people such a person can be firm and even merciless.

How to deal with excessive sentimentality

It’s worth getting rid of impressionability when it begins to be emotionally exhausting and interferes with building business or personal relationships. To become less whiny, psychologists advise using the anchoring method:

Choose a “safe word” for yourself, an object that you can carry with you, or a smell or sound. For example, as soon as tears begin to roll up and a lump forms in your throat, snap your fingers and say the safe word “enough.”
Now we need training so that a stable association is developed between the chosen anchor and the state of calm. To do this, you should also decide on the state that you want to feel at the moment the signal arrives: stability, restraint, rationality, etc. You can remember the situation during which you felt this. Record it in your memory so you can recreate it in time.
Perform such training not only in highly emotional moments, but also when you are at home in peace. After a couple of weeks, you will already be able to feel lasting results.

Such practices will help rebuild neural connections and respond to the same circumstances in a new way.

Learn more about how to control your emotions.

Sentimentality Test

Want to test yourself for sensitivity? I suggest answering a few simple questions and counting the number of “yes”:

Do you have things in your home that you can't throw away because of the memories associated with them?
Does it happen that you cannot hold back your tears when saying goodbye to loved ones?
Are you familiar with such conditions when “your heart bleeds”, “your soul hurts”, “heaviness in your heart”?
Can you forget about business and responsibilities for the sake of your loved one?
Do you like diminutive love addresses such as “bunny”, “cat”, etc.?
Do you have any memories that can make you cry?
Do you get upset easily when you hear someone's love story?
Do you consider yourself a compassionate person?

The more affirmative answers you get, the more sentimental you can be considered.

Characteristics of a strong personality

Or perhaps sentimental is a description of a fairly strong-willed person? Some facts support this.

Emotional intellect

Emotional intelligence is on a par with that which is usually measured using an IQ test and is given greater importance. It helps us better understand people in order to build relationships with them.

And also - study yourself, control emotions in emergency situations, properly motivate for action (how is that?).

Sentimentality is one of the manifestations of emotional intelligence, which allows you to understand the state of your interlocutor, and based on this build a useful dialogue.

You can also vent your restrained anger in time by watching a touching video. Don’t accumulate it for a long time and then explode on your loved ones.

Self confidence

The team values more strict people who can control themselves and not show their emotions on their faces.

Therefore, the absence of fear of showing one’s true emotions is a manifestation of self-confidence, since a person does not try to please and please everyone.

Let others feel

Sentimental people will never tell others: “Stop crying!” or “Stop petting the cat!” They accept it in their environment. Therefore, they allow their interlocutors to be themselves and can support them. This always puts people at ease, even if they don’t know you well.

Why is crying good for you?

At the end of this article, I would like to say a few words in support of sentimental people. Psychologists and doctors agree that tear therapy is beneficial for health and psyche. And it doesn’t matter at all whether you cry from happiness or grief.

Here are the arguments they give to support their assertion:

Protection from stress. Restraining emotions provokes a whole bunch of different ailments - from migraines to neurosis. During crying, joy hormones - endorphins - are released, so moral relief occurs. In other words, tears are an excellent antidepressant.
Cleansing the body. Just like sweat, tears remove toxins. But this is only relevant for emotional tears. If you cry from an onion or squeeze out crying on purpose, the effect will not be as effective.
About pain relief. In addition to endorphin, enkephalin is released during crying, which is very similar in properties to morphine. Therefore, while crying, mild pain may not be felt. But, of course, the effect does not last long, and it is better to relieve severe pain in more effective ways.
Strengthening relationships. This is not about manipulation for personal gain, which can only ruin relationships. The point is that tears expose the soul, make a person sincere and vulnerable. This allows you to better understand him, to penetrate into the very depths of his soul.