There are often situations when a girl or a guy constantly has a feeling of embarrassment in front of a person of the opposite sex. At a certain age, this can be perceived as a serious problem that interferes with building a serious relationship. If this is the case, then it is necessary to work on the situation, since long-term preservation of the status quo contributes to the formation of deep complexes that will negatively affect later life. Let's look at how to stop being shy: what methods exist for girls and boys, as well as adults.
How to stop being shy about a guy
Most people are always embarrassed in one way or another when meeting a person of the opposite sex. In some, timidity manifests itself strongly, while in others it is practically not expressed. To live happily, you need to stop being shy and become sociable.
The girl’s life is complicated precisely by an excessive sense of timidity. Since this completely eliminates the possibility of making new acquaintances with young people, you need to know methods on how to stop being shy about a guy. First you need to decide at what point the girl’s problems begin.
If you like him
A common situation: a girl cannot communicate with a young man she likes, with whom she has not yet met, but wants to communicate.
In this case, you can take several steps that will help you understand how not to be shy with a guy:
- Usually young men approach them themselves when they notice a girl’s interest in them. At this moment, you need to suppress panic, understand that every person can make a mistake, say something unnecessary, and there is nothing wrong with that. Therefore, you should not pretend to be a different person to hide your excitement.
- To stop being shy about boys, it is strictly forbidden to think that some word should not have been said, some movement should not have been made, and in general, that the action was extremely stupid. You just need to listen to the guy and not delve into your head.
- If some stupid situation occurs during a conversation, you need to laugh at it yourself, and not wait for someone else to do it. In this case, you will be able to avoid laughter from others. Don't forget that guys should always feel stronger, and therefore a slight stutter may seem very cute to them. And a small laugh at such an incident will even look charming in his eyes.
- If you like him, but panic begins during the meeting, you need to say that you are busy, leave your phone number and calmly leave. The second communication will be more calm, because a step forward has already been taken.
Having figured out how to stop being shy about the guy you like, it is important to study the topic of shyness with a partner with whom you have already started a relationship.
How to loosen up with the person you're dating
Awkward situations and long silences sometimes happen when a guy and a girl just start dating. A fairly simple but effective way to loosen up and stop being shy is to quickly find common ground. We are talking about common topics and hobbies. If there is no common ground, you can lie a little. Girls on the forums have repeatedly argued that this is the most effective way to not be shy about the guy I’m dating.
If there is a hitch in communication, you can ask the young man to tell some interesting story about his life, and then tell something similar from his experience. This is another way to help you stop being shy about the guy you're dating by finding something in common.
How to accept your body
The situation becomes more complicated if a girl feels quite confident in communication, but is afraid to move on to intimate relationships because of the shortcomings of her body, which she considers obvious. There are even situations when the partner is already completely undressed, and the girl asks him to turn away and does not dare to appear to him without clothes.
In this case, you need to know how to stop being shy about your body and accept it. Usually the problem lies only in the head.
You must always remember that the guy deliberately made a choice - he invited you on a date, and then on a second and third. This means he likes what he sees. Realizing this idea often helps you become more confident.
If a girl thinks that her tummy sticks out too much, her legs are too full, or that she is generally not the first beauty, this does not mean at all that in the eyes of a young man she is exactly like that. When a guy compliments you on your appearance and figure in the first days of dating, it definitely means that he is satisfied with your body.
You can always work on your shortcomings through jogging and fitness. A changed appearance will give you additional confidence, and the problem of not being ashamed of your body will disappear.
Fitness classes will help you shape your figure
How to gain confidence in bed with your partner
To experience all the delights of a full-fledged relationship between a man and a woman, you need to learn how not to be shy in bed and gain confidence. After all, young people often face difficulties when they are about to have sexual intercourse for the first time or have had sex only a few times. Lovers have too little experience; they are not used to exposing their soul and body in front of their partner.
In order not to be embarrassed in bed with a partner, a girl needs to prepare:
- Beautiful underwear will excite not only the guy, but also the seductress herself. Self-esteem will increase dramatically. Therefore, you need to go to the store and find the sexiest, but also comfortable outfit. This will make anyone feel like a goddess in bed.
- Training is the key to success in the question of how to stop being embarrassed about your body in bed. Left alone in the apartment, you need to take off all your clothes and walk around naked. This may sound like strange advice, but it's a good way to deal with discomfort. It will be awkward at first, but after 10 minutes you will notice a feeling of liberation and self-confidence.
- We must not forget about the hairstyle. Firstly, a guy will like silky hair after the salon, and secondly, perfect styling increases a woman’s confidence.
- You need to get turned on yourself so that you can stop feeling shy about a guy during intimacy. For example, you can slowly rub your body with aromatic oil, lingering in the intimate areas.
These practical tips will help you stop feeling shy about a guy in bed.
Useful tips and tricks
- If you have the opportunity, start individual lessons with a teacher in public speaking or theater skills.
- Classes at the modeling school will teach you how to maintain your posture, walk beautifully and smile.
- Makeup lessons will help you always look your best and not worry about your appearance.
- Take reports more often that you will need to speak publicly. You will be surprised, but nothing bad will happen, even if you fail in front of the public.
- Keep a special diary and write down all your achievements there. Every day you must add a new paragraph to it and re-read the text from the first page.
- Make a list of your fears and take action. For example, if you are embarrassed to walk with your boyfriend in public places, then start doing this as often as possible. This way, you will gradually be able to forget about shyness in your relationship with a loved one.
- Create situations where your friend will see the best side of you. So, if you once graduated from music school, spend the evening with mutual friends at a karaoke bar. Or, if you know how to move beautifully, go out on the dance floor together more often.
- Try not to go to extremes. Showing gaiety and excessive talkativeness will not increase your confidence, but will only aggravate the situation.
If you manage to get rid of shyness in front of your boyfriend, then you can safely congratulate yourself. Having overcome this problem, you will feel confident and will easily solve other life difficulties. When shyness no longer interferes with your goals, you will be able to improve your grades, find a good job, and feel comfortable in any situation.
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How to stop being shy about your husband in bed
It seems that acquaintance, the bouquet and candy period, and even marriage are already behind us. But there are situations when a woman needs to understand again how to stop being shy in her husband’s bed. This happens if the wife begins to doubt her sexuality, for example due to the appearance of excess weight or wrinkles.
To stop being shy about your husband in bed, you first need to understand that you can’t constantly tell him about his shortcomings. In most cases, he doesn't even notice them.
Helpful advice: you need to trust your partner. If he gives compliments, praises the figure or specific parts of the body, then you need to take this as an immutable truth.
In any case, if a woman is not happy with some part of her body, she just needs to work on it, and not talk about it. The right way to not be shy in bed with your beloved husband is to exercise and switch to proper nutrition.
Also, the wife begins to feel embarrassed about her husband in bed if she notices that he is watching pornographic films of a specific type (something that does not exist in real sex life). In this case, you can try to learn something that you have not tried before. If on screen it looks appropriate for your wife, then you just need to try to create the same situation in real life. If you don’t try, the thought will settle in your head that all the women in the world know how to do this, but you’re the only one who can’t.
To learn not to be embarrassed by your husband, you need to get rid of deeper problems. If tightness and other uncomfortable situations appear, you need to consult a psychologist. It will help you get rid of the blackness of the past that has been stored in your head for many years.
Be confident in your irresistibility
We need to be more modest! Why?
Let's turn to our history. In patriarchal times, modesty and shyness were considered a feminine virtue. Why?
Because then “mind, honor and conscience” were the man who provided for the family, and the woman was his property. The woman, to put it mildly, was considered stupid. Remember: “A chicken is not a bird, a woman is not a person”?
The man's job was to provide for his family. And a woman’s task is to give birth to children and serve the household. Since the woman could not think with her own head, the man had to think for her. But since the issue of education in those days was poorly resolved, only a select few could read and write - the church thought for everyone. And she also educated everyone. And the church was controlled by the state.
What did the state need? Good revenues to the treasury from the population, and the struggle with neighbors for new lands and resources - i.e. there are many able-bodied peasants and soldiers. And who provided all this? Women. Therefore, the church taught that the meaning of a woman’s life is to give birth to many children. And the main benefit of a woman is shyness.
You see, in their opinion, a priori a woman was never able to think with her own head, and in order for a stupid woman not to give birth to children from her neighbor, she was obliged to be shy. This really saved marriages, because... men were guaranteed to raise their children. And they performed their function well: they paid huge taxes and fees, raised soldiers and married off their daughters.
Now times have changed, and in our modern times the issue of overpopulation of the earth has become acute. Therefore, having many children is no longer fashionable. And science has proven that a woman is also a person, and is capable of thinking no worse than a man. And she is able to decide for herself how many children she needs - two or ten.
How to stop being shy about girls
Many guys experience certain difficulties when meeting the opposite sex. You need to figure out in a timely manner how not to be shy about girls, so that it doesn’t interfere with your life.
Causes of stiffness:
- Features of education. If a young man grows up without a father in the family, then he has nowhere to take an example of male character. He has a poor sense of masculinity within himself. Or both parents were too strict, which led to a feeling of constant self-doubt.
- Past failures. A child may be raised correctly, but at the same time he has had negative experiences with the opposite sex. Typically, such situations occur in kindergarten or primary school. Girls could reject the boy or laugh at him for various reasons. This is firmly stuck in the head, since failures in communication began in early childhood.
Any situation can be corrected with a few steps. They are difficult for an indecisive young man, but it is better to begin to deal with the problem than to ignore it.
Here are some tips on how to stop being shy with girls, following which you can gain confidence in communication:
- Walk up to any 20 girls and say a simple “Hello” to them. Preferably with a smile. It is not necessary to stop and continue the conversation.
- The next step is to approach another 20 strangers and ask how to get to any place (library, theater). It doesn't matter if the girl points you in the right direction. The main thing in this situation is that the guy approached the woman and uttered more than one word.
- Next we give 20 compliments. The scheme is similar: go through about 20 strangers and praise their hair, figure, clothes. The tone of the conversation is cheerful. After this, you can wish them a good day and just move on with your business without waiting for an answer.
- Ask 20 girls for their feminine opinion (what gift can you give to your sister or mother, will your neighbor like flowers).
The advantage of each training situation is that women will not reject a guy because he is not vying for their attention or phone number.
Take care of your body
In system-vector psychology there is the following thesis: when a person does something that brings pleasure, he opens a source of a powerful energy charge. Life seems to start anew, a person likes himself, including accepting his body. Life becomes interesting and joyful.
Make caring for your body a pleasure to get to know and love it better:
- Do regular body treatments yourself or at a salon.
- Eliminate junk food from your diet.
- Give up bad habits.
How not to be afraid of people and become a more sociable person
The ability to communicate with people is the most important human skill that will come in handy in any relationship. If a person is too uptight, then he needs to find out exactly how to stop being shy about people and become a more sociable person.
There are several methods to help you become more confident:
- At first, it is advisable to plan the topic of conversation in advance if you need to start a conversation with someone. Communication is an art that can be mastered over time. Making a plan in advance will help you avoid awkward silences.
- To stop being afraid of people and embarrassed to communicate, you need to identify all negative thoughts. If a person seems strange, irresponsible, or boring, this will interfere with communication.
- Once negative thoughts are found, you need to get rid of them. In order to no longer be embarrassed to communicate with people, firstly, you should admit that they have settled in your head. After that, visualize them in your imagination. Imagine them disappearing. Next, you need to redirect the negative into a positive direction. For example, if a person is afraid to communicate with others because he considers himself ugly because he is overweight, then he needs to think not about being overweight, but about joining the gym, switching to healthy foods and becoming a confident person.
- In order not to be shy about people and to fully communicate with others, you can list your positive qualities. After all, women and men spend so much time looking for flaws that they forget about the positive aspects of character or appearance.
- And the most important part of how to relax and stop being shy in communication is to be yourself and not compare yourself to other people. This is one of the main reasons why a person begins to fixate on shortcomings.
Once the uncertainty passes and the person is able to start a conversation, he still needs to work on his body language - not crossing his arms, taking them out of his pockets, learning to make eye contact.
These tips are enough to understand how to become sociable and not shy.
Is there something wrong with my voice?
There are people who feel insecure because they once heard the sound of their own voice on a recording and did not like it. This fact can develop certain complexes and create difficulties in communicating with others.
A tip on how to be comfortable with your voice: Realize that this is a common problem that many people face. There is no need to focus on this. In fact, to others, the voice of a particular person sounds absolutely normal.
The fact is that sound undergoes complex processing by the brain before a person hears it. A signal coming from one’s own body and one coming from external sources are perceived completely differently. This is the reason that a person perceives his own voice somewhat differently than it actually is. Which does not mean that he seems strange to others.
To stop being ashamed of your voice, you just need to take this information into account.
Play some sports
To overcome self-consciousness, it is important to feel like a woman who takes care of her body and loves herself. Playing sports or dancing or visiting the pool will help you gain this feeling and make your body healthier and more athletic. Fit and confidence will come from outside and help you gain self-confidence.
Look for motivation in future results:
- Imagine what you want to achieve, what you will look like after, for example, a month of classes.
- Mentally transport yourself to this time and imagine your feelings.
How to increase self-esteem
An effective way to increase self-esteem is to achieve results in a matter that interests a person. For example, if you are interested in sports, you need to get a medal or lift a lot of weight. In this case, self-esteem will increase by itself. There is also motivational literature that you can find and study.
Self-esteem can be corrected even on your own
Speak affirmations
Silhouette of a girl: Pixabay
Affirmations, that is, positive statements in the present tense, help you accept and love yourself, your body, increase self-esteem and achieve many goals in life.
Sexologist and marriage therapist Natalya Rusetskaya advises the following:
- Choose two short and meaningful phrases related to the installations you would like to purchase. For example, “I look luxurious” and “I am loved and in love.”
- Twice a day, go to the mirror, look at your reflection and repeat these phrases out loud for 5 minutes.
Phrases such as “I fully accept myself and my body”, “Each person is unique and beautiful in their own way”, “I have my own magnetism and sexuality” help in overcoming embarrassment and complexes.
How to love yourself
There are several basic ways to help you understand how to love yourself:
- Find the source of self-dislike and get rid of it.
- Forgive offenders who left emotional wounds in the past.
- Accept your body, start caring for it, training it.
- Get rid of negative thoughts and do not lower your self-esteem.
- Understand that self-esteem does not depend on the people around you.
- It is strictly forbidden to compare yourself with strangers.
Is shyness always a bad thing?
It is important to understand that shyness is not a bad quality in every situation. By the way, this trait very rarely repels people around him, but rather touches him, in contrast to vulgarity, promiscuity, tactlessness and arrogance. As a rule, shy people lack all these unpleasant qualities. We also note that many older people and guys who are not looking for one-night entertainment consider shyness not a disadvantage, but an advantage for a girl, and sometimes they even specifically look for a life partner with just such a feature. Usually only complete opposites do not like this trait - arrogant people, of whom there are “many everywhere.” Ordinary people treat this quality with understanding, realizing that it is in no way capable of harming them personally, unlike many other unpleasant character traits that are inherent in some people.
