Psychological help after an abortion: how to deal with depression

Consulting a psychologist before terminating a pregnancy is recommended as a way to prevent the psychological consequences of abortion. Psychological counseling of women planning artificial termination of pregnancy will help to adequately assess possible risks and consequences, as well as understand whether a conscious decision was made. The purpose of the consultation is not to dissuade a woman from having an abortion; it is carried out with the intention of supporting the patient during a difficult period of life.

If a woman has not had such a consultation with a specialist, and she has an emotionally unstable state after an abortion, she can seek the help of a psychotherapist at any time. This is necessary to avoid consequences such as a nervous breakdown, insomnia, depression, and depression.

Psychological consequences of abortion

Many women say in discussions on Internet sites that they were not warned what emotional consequences they could expect afterwards. While some women experience a sense of relief and relief from the “problem,” others feel that they are in a hopeless situation and are not psychologically prepared to cope with such a shock as killing their own child in the womb. In the second case, the woman did not suspect that feelings such as grief or depression could suddenly arise, not accompanied by sufficient attention from loved ones to calm her down. It is especially difficult for women who intend to keep their abortion secret, because they have to cope with the current situation alone.

In order to move on with life, a woman forces herself to forget about what she has done, but does not suspect that repentance for what she has done will come, maybe after a decade, maybe much later. Unresolved negative emotions return and the soul requires healing. A group of American psychologists studying post-abortion women have created a new term called post-abortion syndrome.

Common symptoms of post-abortion syndrome include:

• Feelings of guilt, anxiety, depression;
• insomnia and nightmares;
• suicidal thoughts and feelings;
• alcohol and drug abuse;
• loss of appetite, poor nutrition;
• desire to avoid the sight of children and pregnant women;
• attempts to forget and not remember the abortion.

In order to prevent the occurrence of post-abortion syndrome, it is necessary to prepare for an abortion psychologically before and after the abortion by visiting a psychologist.

Dealing with destructive thoughts and feelings

Destructive thoughts and feelings that a woman experiences after pregnancy loss can be directed both at herself and at others.

In relation to oneself, a feeling of guilt is formed, a feeling of being inferior, broken, empty, pathetic and even dirty.

In relation to others, a complex of reducing oneself develops, a false impression of condemnation from others, a lack of sympathy and understanding.

To overcome this condition it is necessary:

• communication with friends and acquaintances;
• expressing your emotions and feelings through painting, poetry, letters, journaling;
• forming a support group of people you trust (this could be close friends, relatives, professional psychologists).

It is very important not to ignore or hide these emotions from yourself, but to live through them and let them go. Be patient, give yourself as much time as you need.

Which abortion can cause negative emotional consequences?

1. 
   Forced abortion, or abortion under pressure The most common reason why a woman experiences severe stress. An abortion is committed under pressure from a husband, boyfriend, family members, or due to circumstances that, in the opinion of the pregnant woman or her relatives, are not favorable for the birth of a child. Often girls, teenagers, and women cannot fight back, although they have every right to refuse an abortion, regardless of age and other circumstances.

2. Medical abortion This type of abortion is often performed at home. Medical abortion occurs with the help of special drugs that are prescribed and given by a doctor. The drug, acting in a woman’s body, causes rejection of the fetus, and the woman sees the remains of her child, which, in addition, can be accompanied by severe pain. These patients are more susceptible to nightmares and psychological trauma.
3. Secret abortion Women who decide not to tell anyone about pregnancy and the abortion are forced to experience depression after an abortion - lack of support from family and friends. This situation develops a strong feeling of guilt.
4. Abortion in victims of sexual violence An unwanted child, an unwanted partner and an unwanted sexual act. It seems that under such circumstances there should be no remorse about an interrupted pregnancy, however, this is far from the case. Doctors advise in this case to seek psychological support and advice from a psychotherapist. Patients who have undergone abortion after sexual assault also claim that it would be much easier for them to cope with post-abortion depression if they received full information about post-abortion syndrome.

When do you need help from a psychologist?

If your condition does not change and you feel that your emotions are going in a vicious circle, increasing depression and indifference, keep in mind that this may be a sign of the formation of a psychological complication known as complicated grief syndrome .

Its signs: anxiety, numbness, fear of children or fixation on another child, similar memories, nightmares .

Like any complication, this syndrome requires immediate intervention from specialists.

Acknowledging and processing loss is an important component of healing. At the same time, ignoring this fact and repressing emotions hinders recovery and can cause behavioral deviation (actions that do not correspond to generally accepted norms of behavior). A psychologist or psychotherapist can quickly help you break the vicious circle and find a constructive way out of the situation.

How to psychologically survive an abortion

In order to understand yourself, the feelings you experience and where they come from, you need to do some work. This can be done either independently or with the help of a specialist – a psychologist.

Steps to achieving emotional “release”:

• Acknowledge that the loss of a child has occurred and mourn it;
• Give vent to the feelings that have arisen: pain, remorse, regret - all this should come out with tears, screaming, crying for relief;
• Understand and forgive yourself, ask for forgiveness from God or Mother Nature;
• Forgive people related to abortion: husband, parents, friends who did not support or recommended the idea of ​​abortion;
• Draw conclusions about how the loss of a child affected your life;
• Live on, review your life and make it better;
• What you have done cannot be corrected, but you can bring love into the world - become a happy woman and bring goodness to people;
• Forcing yourself to adopt a positive mindset and experience positive emotions day after day is a healing recipe and it works.

What is important to know after pregnancy loss

To avoid complications associated with pregnancy loss and move on with the belief that everything will be fine, it is very important to understand the following:

• The possibility of healing is as real as the fact of loss. The experience itself contains the potential for restoration.
• There is no predictable bereavement experience. Every person is unhappy in their own way. The only thing that is predictable is the presence of a way out and a constructive solution.
• Even very close and empathetic relatives or friends are not always able and able to provide adequate support. You need to understand this and contact specialists in time.
• You have the right to the support of others and the time and space to heal. Each path of overcoming is unique.

How a psychologist can help a woman who has had an abortion

Making a decision to terminate a pregnancy is an indicator of existing problems for a woman and within her family. This decision can be determined by the relationship with your parents, and primarily with your mother. There is likely to be emotional immaturity, intrapersonal conflicts, low self-esteem, and a poor attitude towards oneself as a woman.

The psychologist’s job will be to eliminate feelings after an abortion. During a psychotherapy session with a patient, topics such as attitude towards oneself, relationships in the family, with the mother, childhood psychological traumas and grievances, and relationships with men will certainly be touched upon.

General recommendations of a psychologist

In any situation, you cannot escape reality and not allow your emotions to come out. If a person experiences a traumatic situation alone, then he needs to talk through it, writing down thoughts in a diary or on a voice recorder. After recording, it is important to review what has been stated several times and, when you decide that everything has been said, destroy what you have written.

You can write several symbolic letters and talk about the feelings and experiences that you experience. Remember: this is not for publication anywhere. After creation, these letters are subject to mandatory destruction (burn, tear into small pieces, etc.). The purpose of these activities is to release pain and relieve suffering.

If you have a social circle that helps you survive the loss, you need to talk through all the memories associated with the circumstances of what happened (from the moment you decided to have a child or learned about pregnancy to the very fact of the loss).

When forming a circle of support - loved ones who will live with you during this difficult period, it is necessary to exclude people who are dishonest, prone to gossip, distortion of information or manipulation.

If you are in doubt about whom exactly you can trust, then the ideal solution would be to contact a specialist.

The help of a psychologist specializing in such conditions is necessary if:

• the period has not been overcome in 3-4 weeks;
• there is no trusted person with whom you could talk through absolutely all stages of the situation;
• there is a feeling that the experience has been prolonged and there is no way out;
• there is a feeling that you are not able to cope with the problem on your own;
• there are signs of destructive behavior;
• there is a need for support and understanding.

Your main task is not just to survive the loss, but to completely restore resources for future life and new projects.

How to get out of depression after an abortion

Not all women are depressed after an abortion. But for many, grief from the loss of a child becomes a real psychological wound. Sometimes such conditions are called post-abortion syndrome, which is informally classified as a type of post-traumatic stress disorder.

For some women, sad memories of an abortion come again and again, for others they are “muffled” by the mind to get rid of the pain.

In the first case, the woman often suffers from “triggers” (visual memories and sounds reminiscent of the abortion), nightmares, and thoughts caused by the abortion that increase her grief. But in the second case, suppressed emotions of grief can greatly harm everyday life through depression, anger, and irritability. This is sometimes called “emotional toxicity” (Peter Frost).

7 Signs of Emotional Toxicity:

1. There is constant protection from someone or something;
2. The perception of the surrounding reality changes;
3. Biased criticism of everyone and everything;
4. Life is ruled by uncertainty;
5. The person does not feel like himself;
6. Blocking emotions prevents you from moving forward;
7. Inability to get rid of things that cause suffering.

All of the above may not be realized by a person. Patients do not connect what is happening with the psychological wound after an abortion. It is more difficult to understand cause and effect when the consequences appear after 10-15 years.

Signs of behavioral deviation after pregnancy loss

Deviation, as a rule, begins as a defense against too strong emotions in the form of masking or denial of grief and loss. It may occur daily or periodically. Exacerbations may be due to dates (anniversary of loss, planned date of birth, etc.).

Deviation can manifest itself in the form of:

• prolonged groundless anxiety;
• self-flagellation;
• eating disorders (starvation or constant overeating);
• refusal of marital relationships and communication with loved ones;
• formation of addiction (games, medications, alcohol, etc.);
• workaholia or any phobia;
• sexual dysfunction or violent relationships, etc.

All these conditions are associated with a complicated experience of loss and require qualified help. Do not give up! Look for an opportunity to restore the resource!

Recommendations for your inner circle

The most important thing is that at any stage a person should feel supported. It is necessary to find ways of communication that are acceptable to him. He should know that he can contact you at any time of the day, and this is convenient and allowed.

Are you having difficulty conceiving or maintaining a pregnancy? ISIDA clinic specialists have everything necessary to help you find the happiness of motherhood. We will be glad to see you among our patients. Any questions? Call 0, +38 and we will be happy to answer them. Or ask your question on our website and we will definitely answer it .

Natalya, 45 years old

Today my child could be 22 years old. In 1992, I was pregnant with my second child, which my husband and I really wanted. But as the pregnancy progressed, I began to feel a little strange, as if everything was not going as it should. Since I already had experience with a daughter who was born healthy, I was worried that my pregnancy was going to be painful. I decided to see a doctor after I felt weak while walking in the park. Sitting down on a bench, I tried to relax, but all I felt was just a heaviness in my lower abdomen.

On the same day I was taken by ambulance to the maternity hospital where I was supposed to give birth. The doctor who examined me was very tense. At that time there was no ultrasound as such, so they “listened” to me with a stethoscope. I remember the moment when the doctor said: “I'm sorry, but the baby is dead. I can not do anything". At that moment it was like I was hit by a train. Her phrase “I can’t do anything” was even heavier than the lifeless fetus inside me. No one offered me an abortion, since it was not popular in government institutions.

I was told I had to wait until I had a miscarriage, which meant walking around with a dead body inside until I went into premature contractions. With this I was sent home.

I was shattered into a thousand pieces when my husband picked me up and took me home. We were silent the whole way, and I gathered my will into a fist and tried to prepare my body for a miscarriage. My body became so pliable that it didn’t take long to have a miscarriage. That same evening I called an ambulance, saying that I was giving birth. They brought me back to the maternity hospital, quickly transferred me to the delivery room, and now the doctors were standing over me.

My daughter was born in complete silence. A year later, I realized how bad everything was with domestic medicine, because I could have developed sepsis and I myself could have died. Doctors should not force women to go through the agony of carrying a dead child in their wombs. This is dangerous and psychologically unbearable. I'm still grieving for my daughter, whom I didn't even hold in my arms and didn't even have time to think of a name for.

Abortion: impact on a woman’s health, psychological assistance, prevention.

Every year, more than 75 million women in the world face the problem of unwanted pregnancy, and in 2/3 of them it ends in abortion. The Russian Federation is one of the countries with a high incidence of abortions. And although over the past two decades, according to Rosstat, their number has been decreasing (the absolute number has decreased by 2.7 times), induced abortion continues to be the main, albeit unsafe, means of birth control. More than half of abortions occur in women aged 20-30 years. It is known that the maximum harm to health is caused by the termination of the first pregnancy, especially at a young age.

Abortion has been one of the leading causes of maternal mortality for decades. The causes of death from medical abortion in most cases are infections of the genital tract and pelvic organs, as well as bleeding. Thus, abortions in Russia are a truly acute problem, and not only because of their number. Due to abortion, the number of gynecological diseases in our country is increasing. Abortions shift the structure of demographic losses and negatively affect the demographic situation as a whole.

Improving the reproductive health of the nation is one of the most important tasks of the state in the field of social policy, and therefore, in the concept of long-term socio-economic development of the Russian Federation, issues of protecting the reproductive health of the population occupy a significant place. The preservation and restoration of reproductive health is the most important economic task of national importance, the successful solution of which determines the possibility of reproduction of the species and the preservation of the gene pool.

The harm from termination of pregnancy is multifaceted - the woman’s body experiences shock, since all organs and systems tuned to the development of the embryo, after its removal, experience severe stress. Everyone knows that when pregnancy occurs, a complete restructuring of the body begins at the same time, especially with regard to the nervous and hormonal systems. With an abrupt termination of pregnancy, a malfunction occurs in these systems, which cannot go unnoticed by the entire organism as a whole.

In order to prevent the termination of an existing pregnancy, pre-abortion counseling is carried out - this means providing a crisis pregnant woman with complete information about the abortion, its consequences, and providing psychological and other assistance. The purpose of counseling is to help maintain pregnancy and choose life. It is carried out in medical institutions, via hotlines, on social networks, and help centers. Such counseling is very important, since a large number of abortions are still performed out of ignorance and misunderstanding by women of all its negative consequences, as well as due to difficult financial conditions. In order for a woman to change her decision and keep the baby, a competent consultation with a specialist, a sincere desire to help her resolve internal and/or family problems, and providing the woman with real support are often enough. In our medical organization, pre-abortion counseling is provided by medical psychologist Muratova M.A. You can make an appointment with her.

There are three types of preventive measures aimed at preserving and maintaining the reproductive health of the population:

1. Social (primary). In the modern world, maintaining reproductive health and preventing its disorders should primarily be carried out among young people. The trend is that, despite high sexuality and permissiveness, young people often have extremely low knowledge of how to protect themselves from unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. The outcome of an unplanned pregnancy at a young age is often abortion. This can lead to extremely negative health consequences in the future.

2. Medical and social (secondary). This area provides counseling to married couples on pregnancy planning. Special family planning and reproduction centers are being created and operate on the basis of antenatal clinics, hospitals or as separate institutions. Their task is the following: prevention of disorders of the reproductive system of men and women; treatment and consultations on infertility; reducing the number of abortions; introduction of modern methods of contraception; early detection of fetal defects; carrying out abortions for medical reasons and preventing their complications; working with a psychologist. Planning pregnancy and knowledge of modern contraceptive measures is the prevention of disorders of a woman’s reproductive health.

3. Medical. This direction involves identifying and treating women with reproductive problems. For this purpose, women should annually attend preventive examinations of a gynecologist, during which the doctor determines the presence of infectious and inflammatory pathologies and clarifies all aspects of gynecological health. If necessary, additional examinations are carried out and treatment tactics are selected.

All these measures are aimed at preventing reproductive health disorders and ensuring the possibility of a desired planned pregnancy in the future.

Obstetrician-gynecologist of the highest qualification category at the antenatal clinic of the State Budgetary Institution RO “City Clinical Maternity Hospital No. 2” Alevtina Evgenievna Zaitseva.