A woman’s commercialism is the desire to always seek personal gain in everything. They often talk about financial benefits, but in general we are talking about any material benefits. Commercialism is a stable personality characteristic. Therefore, if a woman’s commercialism is noticeable in relation to a man in love, then this will be present in any other relationship. Let’s take a closer look at what a girl’s commercialism is in simple words.
What is a girl's commercialism
What does a woman's commercialism mean? This is excessive prudence and pragmatism. In simple words, this is the reluctance to do something for nothing. A mercantile girl never gives vent to feelings and emotions, is guided exclusively by personal interests and achieves her goals at any cost. She has no friends, at work she also proves herself to be a skilled manipulator and fighter, but the most feminine commercialism is noticeable in love relationships with men.
Sometimes mercantile women are confused with careerists. What is the difference? The first ones have no ambitions in their work. They don’t want to build a career, learn, or develop. Professional self-realization and self-satisfaction from work are not important to them. They only want money. For this purpose, they can get a job somewhere, but, as a rule, this resembles an imitation of vigorous activity and ends quickly. Career women are interested in both professional development, self-realization, satisfaction from doing what they love, and the material side of the issue. How else? You need to live somewhere, eat something, wear something. But career women do not chase luxury and brands. They create a comfortable life for themselves and their family, and they receive money for a reason, but for a job well done.
Note! In most cases, commercialism is noticeable in all areas of a person’s life, but sometimes it can be observed only in one thing. For example, when a girl marries a wealthy man who supports her, pays for her to have fun with her friends, etc.
“I’m not a fool to refuse such offers”
If not for this, who would you be? Or fate?
Marina: At a “normal” job (laughs)? It depends on who you would become. A doctor? There would be a limit on earnings, doctors rarely earn much, I have a family of doctors, I know that for sure. A florist?.. I influence my salary here, it depends on me. And this is not the case in all professions.
Sergey Voronov & Crossroadz
Dina: Teacher: I have a PhD in economics. Perhaps I will still be one, I saved this option for retirement.
Nonna: Probably fate... I was building a fairly successful career, and then my friend decided to open a music club and called me to be an art director: they say, you’re smart, you know everyone, let’s do concerts. And I took it and agreed! Few people understood me then, the main thing is that my mother supported me. And time has shown that this is exactly what I can do and makes me happy!
As a result, I was the art director of several Moscow music clubs and then became the director of the group The CrossroadZ. Again, fate or luck - call it what you want. I became a mother and left the club where I worked, and then Voronila called me (Sergei Voronov, group leader, member of Garik Sukachev’s supergroup “The Untouchables” - editor’s note), with whom I had been friends for many years, and asked: “ Will you come to me as director?” I’m not a fool to refuse such offers, and I’ve been with the group for 5 years.
Reasons why girls become materialistic
The reason for commercialism is a woman’s lack of self-love and selfishness. She tries to fill the inner emptiness and personal failure with material benefits from her partner. Most materialistic women have nothing to offer other than their appearance. But there are exceptions: educated, well-read, interesting girls can also be selfish.
In addition, family upbringing influences the development of commercialism in girls. Some girls are told from the cradle that they should live by the principle: “my husband works, and I’m beautiful” or “my money is my money, and his is ours.”
The third reason is the poverty of the family and the inconsistency in the life of the mother. Some women, trying to protect their daughters from their mistakes, suggest that they should choose wealthy men. However, in most cases, this hides the desire of the mother herself, at least in her old age, to live beautifully and at ease, albeit at the expense of her daughter (her husband).
And it happens that girls from poor families decide for themselves: “I will do anything, just not to return there. I will achieve a rich (in their understanding - happy) life by any means. But all this is also connected with a lack of love in childhood - the parents were poor not only financially, but also emotionally.
Interesting! In psychology, there is no single view on female commercialism. Some psychologists believe that this trait is inherent in all people and is caused by an unconscious desire inherent in nature to take care of their children, to ensure the survival of themselves and them.
Social circle based solely on the principle of benefit
A mercantile man will never make friends or communicate with people in whom he is not interested from the point of view of profit. If your parents are not very rich, and his friends cannot interest him as business partners or people who can help him earn money, there will be no talk of any communication.
He will demonstratively ignore your social circle, and at best, he will simply avoid these meetings and allow you to communicate without him. At worst, your family will experience constant scandals and bans on this communication. And if he finds out that you disobeyed and continue to contact these people, you can expect sanctions.
Signs by which men identify women as materialistic
Men recognize commercialism in a woman by the following signs:
- obsession with appearance and fear of old age, resulting from numerous operations, cosmetic procedures, etc.;
- constant requests for money, which is always not enough for her;
- indifference to the interests of the partner, unwillingness to analyze his capabilities;
- misunderstanding of the value of money (roughly speaking, the lady thinks that it falls to a man from the sky);
- lack of understanding of the importance, value and complexity of any work (for example, disdain for service personnel);
- reluctance to pay for oneself, to split the bill, and even more so to pay for two (if he does pay, he will then demand it back with interest);
- expectation of expensive gifts, physical or material assistance (walks under the moon, compliments and conversations about “this and that” will not impress such women);
- “show off” in everything, sometimes feigned (on Instagram you can immediately see such people, the style is “expensive, bohato”);
- comparison of men by income level (as a rule, a woman sets a minimum “passing” amount for a relationship with her);
- reluctance to develop and build a career (no ambition, no need for self-realization and self-satisfaction from work).
This increasingly relates to commercialism in personal life. How does this manifest itself at work or in friendships? Yes, almost the same. Male colleagues do the girl's work because they fall for the charm and hope to get out of the friend zone. Her female colleagues also do her work because they think they are friends. The situation is similar with people outside of work: if someone can be useful in some way, then a mercantile woman is “friends” with him. For example, in her circle there may be ugly friends for the background or socialites with useful connections, a manicurist who does nails “out of friendship” - anyone, if the relationship with the person is beneficial.
Some men test women for commercialism. Here's how you can check a girl and find out about her commercialism:
- on the first date, pretend to be a “budgetary” person (checking the value system - the mercantile one will leave);
- invite you on a first date to an expensive establishment (test of respect for money - the mercantile will order a lot and more expensive);
- observe during the conversation (as material things are often mentioned).
Important! Money and other material goods, luxury, wealth are the goal of a mercantile girl’s life. Everything else, including people, is a means to achieve this goal.
"Coincidence"
How did you even get into this profession?
Dina: Coincidence of circumstances. It was at the end of my fourth year, my university teacher went to a band concert, where no one else was there except him and his wife. The concert was not cancelled, and my teacher really liked the group. And when I once again complained that I had made the wrong choice when I chose the film industry for myself, Vadim Vadimovich told me about “a wonderful group that needs help.” This is how we met the Jazz Dance Orchestra. Without experience, I greedily began to do something, and everything gradually began to work out.
Dina Nurgaleeva
Alesya: When I met Ivan, my future husband, there was no one to take care of his group. This was partly done by the guitarist, but social networks had gone a long way at that time, and the guitarist himself got married and got a job... At that time, I was already closely involved in organizing city and regional rock festivals, concerts of visiting artists, I understood what “fronts” were. , “lumbago” and “diboxes”. A little more than another girl in her 20s, she heard live concert sound, distinguishing the sound of each instrument, and understood what to turn on the remote control and how to communicate with the sound engineer.
My father stood at the very beginning of the Kalinov Bridge a long time ago; my grandfather was a musician. In general, as the daughter, granddaughter and wife of a musician, I already knew enough musically, which was successfully combined with my innate skills in organizing something and complemented by my main profession as a lawyer in the field of copyright law. The stars aligned - not counting the fact that I was the manager of a group from Siberia playing English-language rock, which is not needed in this country (laughs).
Sometimes I think that given my background, I would still be able to achieve some success by working with an artist who is not very popular, and if I were an accompanying manager of other artists, I would certainly be good there too. Well, I want to believe it (laughs).
Marina: I never dreamed of getting into music. In 1991, I was thinking about what to become after school. We didn’t have show business then, and besides, I only loved foreign music and wasn’t interested in Russian music at all. I went to a Michael Jackson concert in 1993, and there the thought flashed: it would be great to spend the rest of my life going to concerts! Music is not a background for me, I am ready to devote my life to it. But I’m not a musician, although I studied phono in a music school, sang, danced, but the stage did not attract me. But wandering around all your life is cool! I still wander around like this (laughs).
I worked in events, advertising, marketing, wrote concepts for brands... Until a friend introduced me to her boyfriend named Igor. It was the respected Igor Armenovich Sarukhanov! He suggested that I write his biography (a friend said that, as the head of the group, I make very funny newsletters, that is, I can write). "I can't!" - “You’ll learn!” Wrote, published...
I met Yulia Chicherina, then the director of “Meaning Hallucinations”, they all recommended me to someone... That’s how I ended up at BrainStorm. Next year we will be together for 10 years!
Advantages and disadvantages
Probably, many people would like to live for their own pleasure and not work. In terms of psychological comfort and harmony, this is attractive. Of course, if the worm “Why do I live?” does not gnaw due to idleness? or “I am nobody and nothing.” This is a plus of commercialism.
The downside is the unconscious understanding that all this is temporary and conditional. Loneliness, old age, poverty – mercantile women have many fears. And this makes them unhappy.
“My case is atypical”
Your earnings: salary or percentage?
Dina: Percentage.
Nonna: We have a percentage in the group, but I know many teams where the manager/director of the group has a fixed salary. As agreed on the shore, so it goes in the future.
BrainStorm
Marina: I have a rare case: both. I started with one responsibility, sitting on a salary, then I began to supervise tours, look for festival opportunities for the group, and also organize concerts in the capital, and for this I was given a bonus. Now there’s a separate person for all this, I’m on a salary, but at the same time, if I organize something, I get a bonus. It suits me, although it’s not as profitable as if I organized concerts, but everyone should mind their own business. I think I work better with reputation than with money.
Alesya: “In kind,” so to speak (laughs). The positive mood of the spouse (leader of the group Other Noizes Ivan Kazakov - editor's note) and the opportunity to travel. Of course, it’s a so-so trip when you’ve been to St. Petersburg a hundred times, but never visited the Hermitage or Peterhof, or in Vienna you were only at festival sites and clubs, and didn’t buy Mozart figurines and generally flew past the sights. Your bassist was walking around Austria, but you, being a manager, didn’t have time. And yet it is interesting and pleasant.
My experience
There are no such women in my circle. And it wasn't. Probably, if we met, I immediately excluded them. In professional terms, too, there was no need for this. I myself am selfless in different areas of life, so let’s turn to women’s forums.
A typical example of commercialism:
Yeah, he owes you all this, but what do you owe him? Judging by the request and message - nothing. Why don’t you find another job if the income here is not satisfactory? Or reduce requests. Better yet, learn to take care not only of yourself, but also of others. Maybe you can buy him boots? And he will give you something if he wants.
There are many similar requests on forums, and people also come to psychologists with such requests.
Note! A healthy relationship is a partnership of two independent people, psychologically, physically and financially, who support each other. Such relationships are based on mutual assistance, trust and are not associated with commercialism.
How we see it
It’s rare to find a girl who admits to being mercantile. Everyone will say, “Oh no! I am not like that! No way!". Women consider commercialism a sin. But let's think about it together. Do you want to have a spouse who earns well, helps with the children, loves, cares, allows you to buy anything, respects your mother-in-law, provides stability? You want this for yourself, right? Naturally, not for a girlfriend! So what is it? Pure commercialism!
Let's look at things realistically. We are all to some extent mercantile, as we wish ourselves happiness. You can’t buy it with money, but without money there is little happiness. To understand whether this is good or bad, let’s consider the different manifestations of this “shortcoming”.
Incapacity for selfless love
Some ladies mistakenly believe that a materialistic partner can be re-educated. They think that he is capable of falling in love so much that he will sacrifice his interests regarding money. In fact, these are just illusions and dreams of the fair sex. Such men can really fall in love. However, the love for money and values is so great that it cannot be exceeded by any other feeling.
This person will cry and suffer from the fact that he cannot afford to be near his beloved, but will never stay with her. He will try (as a last resort) to leave the lady as his mistress and at the same time find himself a “warmer place.” But connecting his life with her, much less formalizing the relationship, is beyond his strength.
