How to make your husband leave voluntarily and peacefully.

Many women are concerned about the question of how to keep their husband, but there is another problem - how to make the husband leave voluntarily and peacefully . A woman cannot always leave on her own, and men are not always in a hurry to get a divorce either. Many men find it more convenient to live in a marriage so that the house is cleaned and prepared. Therefore, they refuse to divorce even if there is no love and there are serious problems in the relationship.

Why doesn't a woman leave on her own?

Common reasons why a woman does not leave on her own:

A pity. The husband can put pressure on pity and not let his wife go, manipulate the children, say that he cannot live without her.
Material question. If a man files for divorce, the woman can receive material benefits.
Aggression. The spouse may behave aggressively and threaten violence if he tries to leave.
Guilt. A husband can manipulate children and cause feelings of guilt.

Whatever the reason, there are ways to get rid of a husband who doesn’t want to leave .

Male alcoholism - what is it?

Male alcoholism is a severe, difficult-to-treat disease that gradually destroys all areas of a person’s life: physical and mental health, family, work, social and financial status, moral values.

The difficulty in diagnosis and treatment lies in the fact that the addict is rarely aware of the fact of his own addiction, therefore in the practice of narcologists there are rarely cases when a man seeks help himself. Relatives of an alcoholic: wives, children, parents ask for treatment. It also happens that the main psychological burden falls on the shoulders of loved ones, because along with a sincere desire to help a husband, son or father recover, one must continue one’s own life.

Click here to view the conditions, tariffs and prices for treatment

Types of male alcoholism

Alcoholism is classified according to several indicators. The basis can be based on gender (male and female), age (children and adults), type of alcohol, nature of alcohol consumption, stage of addiction, etc.

Based on the frequency and nature of alcohol consumption, narcologists define 5 types of addiction: chronic, binge drinking, secret, beer alcoholism, and domestic drunkenness. Let's look at each of them in a little more detail.

Chronic alcoholism

Characterized by regular consumption of alcohol in large quantities. For a chronic alcoholic, the strength and type of alcohol are not important. 3 stages of chronic alcoholism gradually develop:

Psychological dependence without physical need: a person likes to experience a state of intoxication, the amount of alcohol gradually increases.
Physical dependence begins after ethanol begins to participate in metabolic processes and the body simply cannot function without a dose of alcohol.
The third stage is the development of severe withdrawal symptoms, intoxication after a small dose of alcohol, damage to internal organs, and personality degradation.

Binge drinking

A binge alcoholic may not drink for a long time, but at any moment he can break down and start drinking a lot and uncontrollably: from several days to several weeks. Depending on the type and degree of binge drinking, an alcoholic can get out of this state on his own, however, if the binge lasts more than five days and is accompanied by physical and mental changes, one cannot do without the help of narcologists.

Secret (hidden) alcoholism

To a greater extent, public figures and people with high social status suffer from this type of alcoholism. It is dangerous because the disease progresses in any case, and at some point it is no longer possible to hide the addiction, since the disease is reflected in appearance and behavior.

Domestic drunkenness

Its main symptom is that the amount of drinking remains more or less constant. A person can cope with this type of alcoholism on his own, since he may feel guilty about his incontinence.

Beer alcoholism

It occupies a special place in the dependency hierarchy. The leading sign is the appearance of a female-type beer belly. Beer alcoholics often drink a portion of beer in the morning to “energize”, and end the day by taking an increased dose of beer - up to 3 or more liters. Beer alcoholics have reduced or no potency.

Ways to push your husband to divorce

There are several tips that, by applying them, you can make your spouse’s life with you unbearable, and he himself will want to leave.

All attention to him or complete ignore

Men hate it when a woman demands too much attention and controls his every move. Start calling him every half hour, writing SMS, all the time demanding an account of where he is and with whom. Demand that he spend all his time with you, do not let him see his friends.

In addition to boring a man with your attention, the opposite way will also be effective - forget about your husband and live for yourself . Start ignoring his existence - don't ask his opinion, don't let him know about your plans, don't listen to him, and start communicating with other men.

Criticism and dissatisfaction

No one can tolerate for long a woman who is always dissatisfied with everything. Walk constantly without a mood and remind you of how annoying everything is to you. Do not forget to criticize your spouse and find something bad even in his good actions. Show that he always cannot please you and does everything wrong. Criticize him in front of his friends and compare him to ex-partners and other men.

Forget about looking good

Stop taking care of yourself - don’t wear makeup, don’t wax, forget about beautiful clothes. If a man is used to seeing you always well-groomed and beautiful, then such a surprise will quickly lead him to disappointment and thoughts of leaving.

Lack of intimacy

Stop having sex with your husband or do it with complete indifference to the process. You can also criticize a man in bed and compare him to his former partners. For any man, this is a serious blow, and he will not tolerate this for long.

By using all of the above methods, you will make your spouse’s life unbearable. He will not want to live in such conditions and will gladly leave.

Important: If a man is aggressive, then you should not use these methods so as not to provoke him.

If a man behaves aggressively, you need to leave on your own, having prepared the ground for future life in advance. Find housing, provide yourself with support from loved ones. Pack your things and leave the house when the man is at work. Take care of your own safety.

Main signs of addiction

It is important to understand that alcoholism develops gradually. By seeing the first signs of addiction in time, you can convince a man to overcome his addiction before he turns into a drunkard. In some cases, it’s worth thinking about and suspecting something is wrong:

the attitude towards alcohol has changed; without it, vacations and holidays are not a joy;
the man begins to often stay late at work or gatherings with friends, and comes home drunk;
the husband began to drink much more often and more than usual;
an alcoholic looks for any excuse to drink;
during and after intoxication, memory lapses appear;
aggression towards family and friends appeared.

Understanding from close relatives is critically important for someone suffering from alcohol addiction. Without psychological support, coping with this problem is difficult or even impossible.

How to help my alcoholic husband? Psychologists have clear answers to this question. You should not scold, insult or humiliate an alcoholic. Sometimes wives begin to educate their spouse, especially when they come out of a drinking binge. Such care is harmful and has the opposite effect. Overcontrol, setting excessive demands, and frequent family scandals due to alcoholism only erect emotional barriers between spouses.

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How to leave the guy you're living with

Divorcing your husband is not easy, but leaving your boyfriend if you live together is also not easy. Often, life together looks like a family life, so the difference between the severance of such relationships and divorce is only in legal aspects. If you have decided to break up, then you need to know how to leave the guy you live with .

First you need to take care of your future life. If you live in his apartment, then you should have a place where you can go immediately after breaking up. Because living in the same territory with a former partner is not easy emotionally. If you live in rented housing, then you should also have a backup option where to go if your partner refuses to move out.

When you decide to break up, talk directly to your boyfriend and explain what led you to this decision. But don’t blame him for everything; focus on the shortcomings of the relationship as a whole, and not his own.

If a man does not want to break up, then you can also make his life unbearable. Stop doing household chores, stop taking care of yourself. Don’t think about the family budget, forget about saving – spend all the money on yourself.

While some women dream of finding a husband, others are puzzled by the question of how to make him leave. If for some reason you do not want to continue living with your husband, and he does not want a divorce, then use the methods from this article. Become the complete opposite of the ideal wife and he will have no reason to stay with you.

CZM team - who will help if the husband starts drinking?

The employees of the Center for Healthy Youth are psychologists, narcologists, psychotherapists, psychiatrists, chemical dependency counselors and other specialists with a huge amount of knowledge in the field of addiction and psychiatry, high qualifications and undoubted professionalism. They know exactly how to make a husband stop drinking in the shortest possible time without harming his mental or physical health. If my husband becomes an alcoholic, what should I do?

First of all, you should not give in to panic or self-medicate. Treatment of alcoholism is a complex process and cannot be done at home. Curing an alcoholic without his desire is ineffective, and without consent is illegal. Therefore, do not hesitate to contact a drug treatment center. This is completely anonymous, only you and the attending physician will know about the problem, no third parties or drug records. We guarantee an integrated approach to solving the problem and long-term remission.

To stop drinking, you need to create conditions for yourself

The conditions that must be met to stop drinking are not that complicated. Most of them are normal components of a fulfilling life.

The decision to give up alcohol should be communicated to family and friends. This will ensure their cooperation and help avoid awkward situations of sudden visits with a bottle of strong drink;
In the first weeks of sobriety, you will have to literally avoid alcohol. He shouldn't be at home. It is better to avoid attending events and parties for now. The temptation is too great. A person cannot control the brain’s persistent reaction to the type of alcohol. There is no need to expose yourself to additional stress. If the situation requires indispensable participation in the feast, you can compromise. There is always a plausible excuse to raise a glass of juice or mineral water with everyone else. You cannot sit with an empty glass and attract attention. Internal tension will increase;
Full sleep. A person who does not get enough sleep is prone to irritability or apathy; these are not normal states from which you want to get out. What solution comes to mind first? That's right, improve your health in a known way;
Complete nutrition. The feeling of hunger is a strong provocateur, as it causes anxiety and dissatisfaction. A well-fed person is relaxed and satisfied, everything suits him, his thoughts are calm. Satisfying basic needs is the key to success when quitting alcohol;
Encouragement. It is necessary to plan moral compensation for abstinence in order to feel that a sober lifestyle can be enjoyable. It doesn’t matter what it will be, entertainment, adventure, a long-awaited purchase with saved money, the main thing is that it evokes positive emotions;
There should be no free time. Idleness is the source of vices, as was noted by the ancient Romans. It is necessary to fill weekdays and holidays with activities and events so that the busy pace of life leaves no room for idleness. You can make a plan;
Find an alternative to alcohol to relax. The body must relieve tension. At first, the effect will seem weak because the brain is accustomed to heavy doses of doping. Reading fiction, listening to slow, quiet music, yoga, meditation, handicrafts, and hard work calm the nervous system well. Over time, their impact will intensify, freeing the body and soul from fatigue and irritation;
Physical activity is a panacea for many negative factors and is good for health. When engaging in sports or physical labor, a person not only receives the necessary exercise for vigor, but also experiences pleasure. It has been proven that physical activity stimulates the production of happiness hormones; Life without alcohol will itself encourage you to increase healthy habits and self-improvement.

Author of the article: Yurov Alexey Viktorovich

An expert on addiction and codependency with 15 years of experience;
Founder of the Otkritie Center;
An expert in the rehabilitation of alcoholics, drug addicts and gambling addicts with 15 years of experience;
Author and developer of several programs for rehabilitation, prevention, and psychological assistance to relatives of addicts;
Husband, father, social activist;
Helped hundreds of families of codependents save the health and lives of their relatives;
More than 1000 people have undergone the rehabilitation of Alexey Yurov;
Founder of the online School “Overcoming Codependency”;
Founder of the Social Rehabilitation Center for the low-income population, including teenagers from disadvantaged families;
1.6 million views of educational lectures on the Youtube Channel;
More than 1000 Individual Consultations;
Over 100 trained Addiction Counselors;

Risks of living with a drinking man

No woman, when she gets married, intends to live with an alcoholic. Some people do not even notice their chosen one’s pathological craving for alcohol for a long time. However, the intoxication of the body accumulated over many years eventually makes itself felt by mental disorders and deterioration in the physical condition of the drunkard. Living with such proximity becomes simply unbearable.

If you don’t start therapy in time, alcohol addiction will only progress - for some faster, for others slower, but in any case, this problem is fraught with family life:

financial troubles (an alcoholic will drink away his money, and then begin to take valuable things out of the house and sell them cheaply);
scandals, quarrels, hostility towards each other;
damaged family reputation (the inappropriate behavior of an alcoholic causes condemnation);
degradation of the personality of a drunkard husband and more serious mental disorders;
aggressive behavior of a drunken husband, reaching the point of assault, cruelty;

“Tell me how he beat? He just held me by the head and kicked me in the face, tearing out my hair."

Elena falls silent and looks out the window for a long time. We are sitting in a sunlit room. On the floor is a patient suitcase that has not been disassembled since September, on the wall is a painting that Elena made herself, on the table are photographs of a woman with children. Without a husband. “Tell me how he beat?” – Elena asks with a bitter smile.

– I remember in 2002 we bought a computer on credit. It was on the birthday of his daughter from his first marriage. The husband got very drunk and caused a scandal. I stood in the kitchen and cooked. As I see it now: I was stirring the goulash in a large frying pan with an iron handle. He came up to me and started beating me. I reached for the frying pan and began to choke. I grabbed the handle and, along with the goulash, hit him in the head. He went wild.

He then beat me like that! He just held me by the head and kicked me in the face, tearing out my hair. Trampled me. He beat me so bad! I was all blue. Again, the question is - why didn’t I leave then?

Elena sighs and moves her hands through her jacket.

“Then he said to me, “Oh, sorry!” - with tears in his eyes. “Forgive me, I'm a fool. How could I do this?!” Lord, what fools we women are! We are led by beautiful words, beautiful gestures, crocodile tears. For the same tears. Well, you can’t believe this, you can’t. Because then your whole life is derailed anyway. Then children appear, children suffer. Nothing good will happen. It's better to tear it up right away. To survive, to get over it, to endure. And start living differently.

Elena does not call her husband by name - only the impersonal “husband.” “Sasha” came out only once, when the woman spoke out and asked not to return to this topic again.