The development of a child’s personality is a voluminous and labor-intensive process not only from external influences, but also from the child himself. Psychology deals with the problem. Modern ideas are based on the fact that the starting point of personal development is always the family, parents. It is the close environment that largely determines the prerequisites that will form the basis for development during childhood.
The process of personal development is presented at several stages. Each of them has its own specifics. Moreover, they are all closely related to each other, as are the factors of personality development. It is impossible to jump over any of them. In order to ensure the comprehensive development of a child’s personality, it is necessary to understand the features of the upbringing process for different ages.
What is personality?
The category “personality” is an integral element of the conceptual apparatus of a large number of scientific fields. In ordinary life, people use this concept quite often. There are a huge number of theories (for example, the systemic role theory of the formation of a child’s personality) devoted to the problem of personal development.
What is meant by personality and its development? What influences this process? Personality is a quality acquired by a person in the process of sociocultural life. Each person is born an individual, that is, he has a set of certain unique characteristics. Personal development occurs when interacting with society.
This process is divided into the following periods, which are determined by age boundaries. The stages of child personality development include:
- early childhood development, affecting ages from birth to three years;
- preschool and school childhood, which lasts from 4 to 11 years;
- adolescence, the duration of which is from 12 to 15 years;
- youth development - from 16 to 18 years.
The foundations for personality development are formed in the child’s body before the very process of birth. The author of the theory of basic perinatal matrices was Stanislav Grof. According to the scientist, it is precisely those experiences of the child that are associated with pregnancy, labor and the postpartum period that form the basis for the formation of four main matrices. The latter are the main conditions for further personal development.
With the natural birth of a desired child who has not experienced birth trauma, his life potential and adaptive capabilities are much higher compared to children who have gone through difficulties during pregnancy and birth. Interaction with the outside world occurs immediately after birth. It is this interaction that provides the basis for personal development.
Phases of personal development
Modern personal theories of development indicate that, regardless of the line of personal development, this process is determined by psychological patterns. Their presence does not depend on the age period or the specifics of the group in which the individual is located at a particular moment. These psychological patterns are called phases of personality development. Among them are the following:
- The first phase of development is adaptation. During it, a person must master those techniques and means of activity that are used by other members of the social group. Simple skills and language are mastered, speech is formed, which becomes a prerequisite for further development. Mandatory interaction with the social environment is necessary, during which speech develops. The process of mastering elements of activity is based on the experience of losing one’s individual characteristics. In reality, there is a continuation of human actions in other people and their activities. The individual shares his personal potential.
- The second phase of personal development is individualization. Its basis is the emergence of a conflict between a person’s need to be similar to the people around him and the desire for maximum personalization. A person contrasts himself with others, distinguishes his personality. During the process of passing through this phase, the individual is in search of means and ways to resolve this contradiction.
- The third phase is integration. In the process of passing it, a person learns to control his behavior based on submission to elders and interaction with others. In the case when the contradiction drags on for a long time, ways of resolving it are not found by man, disintegration occurs, that is, a problem in development. The formation and development of personality is carried out through exclusion from the social group. With actual isolation, negative qualities are consolidated in the character.
In some cases, the community, during the passage of the personality of the last stage, adapts to the needs of a particular person. He becomes a leader capable of influencing, determining the direction of development and functions of a social group.
The process of passing through the phases is strictly sequential. It is impossible to skip one of them in the process of normal personal development. When psychological patterns are violated, negative characteristics are formed. The reversibility of the process depends on the degree of disturbances, including in the development of speech; all this is individual.
Education for boys and girls
Knowing about the gender characteristics of children's development, it is not difficult to guess who has a more difficult time learning at school. And the point here is not at all that girls study better. It’s just that their developmental tendencies are more consistent with the requirements of the school: girls are more diligent, they often have a wider vocabulary, and they understand verbal instructions well.
However, this does not mean at all that boys cannot study well. Just to educate children, it is important to take into account a number of their gender characteristics.
What should you remember when organizing education for boys and girls?
- Boys are better at concentrating on one subject, while girls are good at solving several problems in parallel,
- Girls perceive verbal instructions well, boys understand visual images better,
- Boys need less eye-to-eye contact, and being forced to make eye contact can even cause speech difficulties.
- Boys show themselves to be better at identifying patterns,
- Girls are less distracted by extraneous stimuli,
- Boys, by their nature, are more assertive and prone to competition, take risks more easily, and are less accepting of inhibitions.
- Girls better understand complex instructions consisting of several steps, work better according to a model,
- Boys notice details better
- Girls are capable of switching between tasks more quickly, boys need time to engage in new activities,
- Girls have a slightly larger memory capacity and better memorization ability,
- Boys prefer physical games, while girls often enjoy word games.
It is also important to remember that biological prerequisites, although they guide a child’s development, do not determine it. A child's developmental environment has a huge influence, perhaps even more than genetics. Thus, a boy with already well-developed spatial thinking will most likely often play with his favorite construction set and climb trees, which in turn will further develop his spatial orientation skills. While a sociable and sensitive girl will prefer to play mother-daughter or “family,” thereby further developing her verbal and social skills.
Biological characteristics are only the first steps of a long journey of personality development. The experiences a child goes through influence the child's development and success even more than their innate characteristics. This is why it is so important to understand what we fill the lives of our children with.
The importance of parents for personal development
Personality and its formation in childhood are largely determined by the immediate adult environment. In most cases, they are parents. They determine the success of passing through the stages of development - the upbringing and formation of the child’s personality, activating speech. Relationships with father and mother contribute differently to this process. Family unity is a condition for the formation of different structures at the psychological and age level.
The mother's influence on the formation of the child's personality is reflected in many theories. It is especially important during the first year of life. During this period, the presence of a loved one who shows care, attention, and gives a lot of good emotions plays a major role in establishing positive qualities. Personality development in early childhood is largely determined by the emotional component. The absence of mothers for children from orphanages has a negative impact on the entire process. The sooner a foster family appears, the easier it is to correct the negative experience of family upbringing.
Speech acquisition is just happening. As we grow older, communication becomes a priority. Its absence negatively affects the factors of implementation of the phases of personal development. Therefore, the role of parents in shaping the child’s personality is invaluable. Their task is to ensure that the prerequisites for personality formation are created in early childhood. This requires the presence of positive emotions, adequate communication (so that speech develops) and assistance in the process of personal development.
What mistakes do parents make when raising individuals?
When shaping a child’s personality, it is important for parents to avoid such common mistakes.
Categorical prohibition
The main mistake of education. Be patient with your baby and respect him. Without learning to understand it, parents make inevitable mistakes that lead to mental and physical problems. By ignoring the desires and interests of the child, responding to most of them with categorical prohibitions, you can even skip the initial stage of some disease. Example: you notice that the child has started eating lime. The first reaction of most parents: dissatisfaction, screaming, a ban on approaching the wall. Correct reaction: visit the doctor. The doctor will probably tell you that there is a lack of calcium salts in the baby’s body. In addition, such an attitude will create in the child a desire to perform certain actions on the sly. Many become secretive and distrustful.
Overprotection
When shaping a child’s personality, overprotection is not the best helper. Excessive care can have a negative effect on the baby. When he reaches a certain age and tries to show independence, this is often met with hostility. Example: a child wants to use a spoon himself, but the mother, fearing that he will get dirty or not be able to cope, continues to feed him herself.
Overprotection manifests itself in violent action, which can result in the emergence of neurosis. In other cases, guardianship unless absolutely necessary can result in the child never being able to make friends, because the mother and grandmother are always nearby. The individual may have difficulties with socialization; he does not acquire the ability to express and defend his opinion. Possible consequences: psychological problems that can only be eliminated with the assistance of specialists.
Excessive demands
For the full development of a child’s personality, it is necessary that he not only knows, but also understands what is allowed and what is prohibited. If you show excessive demands on him, without giving clear explanations of the reasons why you need to do as you say, then this will not lead to good. What traits will the personality acquire? Irritability, stubbornness. The best option: parents explain in detail the reasons for their demands, and over time they become the child’s personal beliefs.
Notations
The first factor provoking children's protest is lengthy lectures. Parents often believe that their child will learn information better by listening to long and repetitive lectures. There is no need for them. This approach has no constructive component. Particularly taboo is other children being held up as examples. Gradually, the child will begin to perceive them as personal enemies. Boring notations often cause a negative reaction, losing their educational value.
Immense pampering of a child
Parents who spoil their children too much create a big problem. This phenomenon is no less negative than lack of influence. Spoiled children, who do not know anything to be denied, who have no responsibilities, eventually face the impossibility of overcoming even minor life obstacles and problems. When a situation arises when their desires and reality do not coincide, they lead to overstrain of the nervous system, which can result in a breakdown.
The meaning of preschool age
If the development of personality at an early age was aimed at the emotional perception of the environment, then in preschool age the situation changes. This period is characterized by a more active perception of information. There is an expansion of social contacts, the appearance of the first team in the child’s life - a group in a preschool institution. Parents still play a decisive role. They form a polarity of attitude towards the world around us (positive-negative).
In preschool age, work activity acquires special value. Despite the fact that the child does a lot of things with mistakes, he needs to be taught simple work skills. In this case, the simple rules of life should be explained: good-bad, right-wrong. Communication allows a child not only to expand his vocabulary, but also to learn universal human values. Children must understand the need to respect elders and the rules of politeness. The presence of both parents in the family contributes to the formation of role identity.
The process of education as the basis for the personal development of children of different ages
The process of comprehensive personality education is labor-intensive. The definition of essence consists of what is included in the understanding of the educational impact on the child. For some it is obedience, for others it is punishment. However, the basis of the upbringing process should be the multilateral development of the child’s abilities and the formation, based on the existing base of natural inclinations, of a harmonious, full-fledged system called personality.
In any situation, the basis of the education process is the family. Its influence is discussed in the works of psychologists and teachers. In the absence of mother and father, this role is assigned to the child’s immediate environment. However, it is in a full-fledged harmonious family that the prerequisites for an adequate personality begin to form, traditions and customs are passed on, which in the future will form a worldview system. The manner of behavior that was a model for him in childhood will be the personal norm throughout the rest of his life. The role of family traditions in the formation of personality is enormous. They allow family values and cultural characteristics to be passed on to subsequent generations, helping to maintain continuity.
For a young child, healthy family relationships are a priority. Rarely does a person as an adult be able to change the existing negative standard. In this case, the person must go through a difficult path of reassessment of values.
Education should not become an end in itself for parents. However, their task is to ensure development in such a way as to create optimal conditions for the purposeful formation of a harmonious personality and prepare it for further life in society. Some parents try to be perfect. You shouldn't be afraid to make mistakes. They are the basis for working on yourself and self-improvement. Moreover, we are talking not only about a child, but also about an adult. Parents must teach their child to be responsible for their actions and take responsibility for their life.
When organizing the education process, you should take into account some features of age-related development. Until the age of three, attention to him and his problems is of great importance for a child. At this age, mother and child are one. Therefore, ignoring requests and appeals is dangerous for mental development. At this age, the child’s cognitive activity is great. Dangerous objects should be excluded from visibility so that the learning process is accompanied only by positive emotions.
After three years, according to ideas in psychology, a child learns to manipulate an adult. Therefore, it is necessary to clearly define the concepts “possible” and “impossible”. The determining system of relations between an adult and a child should be explanatory and contractual. At the age of 5 to 7 years, a child develops fears. The main thing during this period is not to contribute to the development of phobias, but to gently destroy negative emotions.
The team is the driving force
The period of active interaction of an individual with the surrounding society becomes preschool age. At this stage, the child gets acquainted with the first team - a group in kindergarten. The factors influencing the development of a child’s personality include not only communication with peers, but also with adults. The latter role is now played by parents and teachers of preschool institutions.
When entering kindergarten, children can clearly trace the passage of phases of personal development. Initially, the child adapts to the conditions of the group. Then individualization is observed, when separation from the collective occurs. This can be done in several directions: the child excels in various activities, plays pranks or is obedient. The success of passing the patterns depends on many factors: family, the social group itself, personal prerequisites.
The development of a child’s personality is a long, voluminous and very responsible process. The role of family is of great importance. The formation of personality at an early age is largely determined by the degree of influence of parents, their attitude to society, to life, to universal human values. The team in which the child is located contributes to personal development at other age periods. The task of modern adults is to take care of a comprehensive understanding of education and to build a systematic approach.
The development of a child’s personality is the formation of personal qualities, human properties, his values, beliefs, worldview, relationships with the internal and external world. This is a complex, multifaceted process that requires the attention and participation of parents and other surrounding adults, while being subject to certain universal laws. It is closely related to the development of physical, cognitive, communication and other skills and abilities. For centuries, psychologists and philosophers have been looking for an answer to the question of what personality is and when it begins to emerge. Different positions have been expressed on this matter, including that personality is something that only adults have. In this article we will share some ideas about what a child's personality development system is. In fact, the formation and development of a child’s personality begins from the first days of life. From the point of view of E. Erikson, during the first year, the foundation is laid in the baby’s psyche for the development of various aspects of the personality: basic trust in the world. This is an attitude to life, the formation of which depends on how safe and comfortable the outside world was for the child in infancy. If the baby was surrounded by the care of his parents, his needs for food, physical activity, touch and positive emotional attention were met, then trust in the world will be high. On the contrary, children deprived of constant care from close adults, the opportunity to have one or two significant, reliable people nearby, develop a basic attitude that the world is not friendly and cannot be trusted. The development of a child’s personality in preschool age occurs in several directions, each of which becomes more or less a priority depending on the stage. The baby actively explores the world around him, which is manifested in the constant search for interesting objects in all places accessible to the little man, as well as in attempts to disassemble, break, taste, and the like. Despite how much trouble such scientific interest brings, parents should show patience, on the one hand, encouraging the child in the pursuit of knowledge of the world, on the other hand, ensuring the safety of him, himself and his home, teaching him to the presence of rules and boundaries. It is important not to put too much pressure on the child, since it is this nascent interest in new knowledge and experiences that you will try to revive when it is time to study. Also, the development of a preschooler’s child’s personality is aimed at understanding who he is, where the boundaries are between him and the world around him, him and his mother. The first striking manifestation of this side of development is the appearance of the pronoun “I” in the child’s speech. Subsequently, the baby begins to seek confirmation that he exists. This manifests itself in the desire to draw on the walls, scatter your things even in your older brother’s room, and also in the perception of all the toys around as your own. The issue of boundaries between “I – the outside world” and “mine – someone else’s” has been resolved over the course of a number of years. During this period, you can tell your child about what personal space is, what it includes: place, personal belongings, time that you want to spend alone. It is important to teach him to ask permission to enter this personal space, to find out whether the person wants to communicate now. It is also necessary to show the child how he can protect himself and his space: how to respond if he does not want to communicate, how to behave if the boundary is grossly violated, when and under what circumstances physical protection is permissible. Another area in the development of a child’s personality that needs to be kept in focus is social development. Some parents boldly take their child to kindergarten from the early years, while others prefer home education and development. But in both cases, it is important to observe how the child learns to communicate, to develop his first, incredibly important skills: making acquaintances, sharing, agreeing on what to play, and so on. The development of a child’s personality in communication implies not only the acquisition of skills, but also a consistent change in interests and the need to interact with others. If in early childhood a child needs mainly communication with adults, then by the age of three to four years play motivation appears, and by five it develops into an interest in role-playing games, where, by trying on the role of princesses, superheroes, wizards and criminals, children learn both yourself and the world. If a child by this age still communicates only with his parents and does not strive to spend time independently with peers, it is important to pay attention to this and understand the reasons for this feature. It may involve a lack of skills, a fear of other children, and/or an overly strong attachment to parental figures, which indicates some developmental delay. The closer to school age, the greater the importance of education in the development of a child’s personality. In kindergarten or at home, a preschooler begins to try to learn: read, write, count, and perform creative tasks. This experience gives me an idea of how successful I can be, how competent I can be, as well as what a mistake is and how to react to it. It is important at this age to convey the idea that making mistakes is not scary. That only through failure can you understand how to do better, learn something. Support and acceptance from the closest adults will be important for the child, the feeling that they believe in him, because it is from this feeling that his own self-esteem is formed. Hundreds of books have been written about what and at what age a child should be able to do, what to strive for and what to avoid. But we must remember that the individual development of a child’s personality may differ from standards and statistical norms. Therefore, focusing on information about how it should be, observe how it is, note the slightest changes that indicate that the baby is developing and maturing. If you notice that in some areas there is a delay or, on the contrary, a too fast and unbalanced jump, it is important to contact a child psychologist who can carry out diagnostic measures and find the causes of this phenomenon. And the final result of the appeal will be a unique program for the development of the child’s personality, taking into account all the features of his individuality and environment. It may also include specific activities, such as activities with the child at home, going to group classes, the purpose of which is to gain communication experience and develop communication skills. The psychologist will also give recommendations regarding changes in the education system and family relationships that are necessary to ensure favorable conditions for the development of the baby. Maria Borisova, psychologist at the 12 Collegia training and consulting center.