Self-control today is an important quality of human character. In an age of competition and the pursuit of career growth, trying to combine all this with family comfort requires a lot of endurance. It is necessary not only to “not bring home the work mood,” but also to be able to accept daily difficulties with dignity and ease.
Self-control means the ability to remain calm
Self-control is in psychology
If you have questions about what self-control is, you should turn to the following psychological definition. Self-control is the skill with which an individual maintains internal and external calm during times of stress. This is a tendency to self-control, restraint, and sometimes composure on the part of a person in a critical situation.
Analyzing the definition of self-control, what it is, it should be noted its reverse side - a nervous breakdown, after which the individual experiences a number of negative emotions:
- Shame, guilt;
- Hysterical;
- External stupor;
- Breakdown of friendships and other relationships;
- With repeated loss of self-control, heart attacks are possible.
Note! Loss of self-control is a long process of an accumulative nature, i.e. it does not happen suddenly.
For a long time, a person endures and suppresses negative emotions that arise against the background of irritating situations. Its development contributes to learning to identify the first signs of an illness in order to extinguish them in the bud. Self-control is the “purging” of stimuli, eradicating them before they begin to be suppressed and accumulated. In other words, no psychologist will give the patient advice to “tolerate” negativity, but will help increase resistance to it.
Ability to be honest
Why is sincerity so important here? Oddly enough, it matters how open a person can be both to himself and to the people around him. The most important thing is to learn not to deceive yourself, not to try to make excuses in some difficult situations. Anyone who is honest with himself has great endurance and a sound mind. Sincerity is also good for developing self-control. After all, if we are aware of everything that happens to us, then it becomes much easier to work with our feelings and develop strengths. In this case, self-control is as important as the ability to admit your own mistakes.
The Art of Self-Control
Methods of psychology - what is it, definition
Having understood what self-control is, we can talk about what it’s like to have it. First of all, it is worth noting that the development of this quality in itself requires endurance and patience to overcome certain obstacles and break old habits.
Internal resistance
In an attempt to apply self-control in order to start doing something new, for example, jogging in the morning, the entire body will resist the new decision, giving preference to the old way of life (getting another “five minutes” of sleep). This must be overcome by improving endurance.
Diffidence
She, too, will have to resist giving in to improve herself and achieve her goals. The body always needs some time to get used to a new regime and circumstances, gradually increasing self-confidence.
Self-control leads to self-confidence
Confrontation
A person must be able to refuse his own desires if they diverge from his goal. With the example of the notorious jogging, it happens that others begin to suggest noisy parties “until the morning”, trips on vacation for several days. All this will interfere with a cheerful morning awakening, so you will have to refuse. In addition, close friends will always support the individual in his endeavors and will be understanding about vacationing without him.
Definition of the concept
Self-control is a personal trait that develops as a result of fruitful work on oneself. No one is born so strong and rational as to be able to immediately overcome their own emotions. However, this can and should be learned.
Self-control is, to some extent, a condition for seeing one’s own prospects. Anyone who is so insecure that he cannot identify individual values and dreams is incapable of managing his emotional state.
How to Maintain Composure
A discussion of what self-control means requires examples of how to maintain it. Parents need this quality. When a child is capricious and makes every effort not to write a school essay on his own, a parent who has self-control will not allow himself to raise his voice at the child, just as he will not do the task for him, being able to explain why he needs to do it himself.
Self-control - what is it in psychology, definition
The ability to control yourself can be called an art. Losing self-control even for a short moment is not good. Then a piggy bank of negative emotions will “open”, which is unacceptable - they need to be “converted” into positive ones.
Note! Psychologists say that it is impossible to live only with positivity, as if there must be a place for negativity.
Therefore, you need to learn to perceive difficulties correctly, and not react to them sharply. Today, an important element of personality is stress resistance, which involves facing difficulties, short deadlines for completing work, and competition. A person with self-control knows how to adequately perceive criticism and not succumb to provocations. Even at home and communicating with friends, restraint is needed so that jokes and provocations do not enrage the individual.
Restraint = good manners
Is restraint a good manners? Yes, for the most part. Very often, reserved people are so well-mannered that one can envy them.
This is manifested in the ability to communicate, in the manner and timbre of speech, in gestures and facial expressions. Unlike the same affectation, restraint is natural. A person who has this trait exudes nobility.
If you have ever observed a reserved individual, he evokes admiration. Every feature of him is imbued with nobility. They say about such people: “He breathes it.”
How to develop self-control
Self-regulation - what is it, definition
People are increasingly thinking about how to learn self-control and self-control. There are a number of techniques that will help you gradually develop these qualities. They have established themselves among the stars of show business, as well as ordinary people in need of additional moral help. A person can choose one specific method or use several options that suit different situations. The main thing is to regularly improve your skills and not give in to anxiety.
You need to learn calmness
Knowing what self-control means, developing it is easier than it seems. Among the main methods are acceptance, yoga, meditation, preliminary preparation and the so-called letting go.
Adoption
It is not without reason that they say that one person is irritated in another by a shortcoming that the first has. It is not enough to know your weaknesses, you need to accept them. An individual who reacts inadequately to criticism must work through this issue. Anyone who does not know how to lose must learn that “bitter experience is also experience.” Acceptance is not suppression of emotions, but self-improvement.
Yoga
It includes a set of physical and breathing exercises. Yoga will help an individual control his entire body, and with it his mind and emotions.
Meditation
Learning to distance yourself from an irritant in a timely manner, reflecting the negative and taking positive from the outside are important self-control skills. Having found peace of mind, a person pulls himself together, becomes more confident and bolder.
Preliminary preparation
This can be called a necessary trick, a trick. In order not to encounter surprises, to avoid provocative questions that can throw an individual into a stupor, he must collect information in advance, as well as “go through” other people’s experience. Before meeting with relatives, friends or work partners, you need to find out about the latest events, important moments in their life and work. Then no one will be able to confuse the individual with a sudden question.
Letting go
Many people are held tightly by past experiences. If something resembling unpleasant events appears on the horizon, the individual panics and experiences nervous tension. This needs to be worked out, perhaps with the help of a specialist.
Examples
A teacher, for example, must have the ability to maintain self-control. When children begin to misbehave in class, trying to disrupt it, the teacher has to demonstrate this quality to the fullest. He must resist the desire to shout or kick the main “ringleaders” out of the lesson, but calmly and firmly inform students about the inadmissibility of such behavior in such a way as not to offend anyone, but also not to leave the opportunity to disrupt the lesson.
Another example of people who do not lose their composure is the military. Often these people have to see things that a civilian would never dream of in his nightmares. But they must remain calm to preserve their own health and life, as well as those of their comrades or personnel entrusted to them.
Doctors are also people with highly developed self-control. Regardless of what the situation is, they must remain sober, continue their activities and ensure the recovery of their patients. Surgeons, resuscitators, traumatologists and emergency medical personnel should have the best knowledge of their condition.
How not to lose your composure
If things have reached a difficult moment, a person feels that he is on the edge, you can do the following. Feeling tension, an individual needs to mentally stop and feel himself physically. What does he touch, what does he stand on, what does he sit on? They focus on this until the tension drops. Even if adrenaline has already been released into the blood, you need to continue to feel yourself and follow the breathing technique. You can put your working hand on your stomach and concentrate on your warmth. Literally a minute turned to yourself will smooth out negative emotions.
Self-control is the shortest path to the goal
Self-control is rarely mentioned as a character trait that is characteristic of any person who wants to lead a calm life without shocks. Psychology notes the importance of understanding that self-control is not the ability to suppress emotions. It is necessary that they do not accumulate, therefore, in the art of self-control, it is necessary to learn the correct, adequate perception of stimuli in order not to consider them as such at all.
Emotions and restraint
Emotional restraint is an admirable trait. Did you know that emotionally reserved people make great friends? They will not cluck and flap their wings, akin to hens. They will simply look sympathetically and take supportive measures.
Beneath the ability to manage their emotions are people with very big and kind hearts. After all, in order to help a friend, it is not at all necessary to lisp and lament over him.
Strength of character
Great success is achieved not by those who are very lucky, but by those who are patient and persistent. The ability to act through defeat and anxiety takes a lot of work. Self-control in psychology is the cultivation of appropriate character qualities necessary for self-realization. The ability to be persistent and purposeful is born from within and comes to a person at the right time. That is, when he feels the need to show firmness and control the situation.
Losing self-control is always very unpleasant and fraught with many consequences. First of all, the person loses contact with himself, the ability to control his own emotions. You need to work on your character every day to achieve specific results. Try not to run away from problems that arise, but to solve them. In order to simplify your task, you can break one large difficulty into several small components.
Responsible approach
A sense of reliability is as important for the development of personality as knowledge of the rules of etiquette and behavior in a certain situation. Responsibility is precisely formed from the inner vision that everything will be fine. Few, unfortunately, are able to feel such strength within themselves. When a person takes responsibility for everything that happens to him, then in case of failure he does not look for those to blame, does not try to shift his tasks that require solutions to someone else.
Responsibility implies a conscious intention to take active steps to achieve a specific result. Self-control helps a person cope with anxiety, pull himself together, and overcome some fears and doubts. Most people, at the right moment, take their will into their fist and act, despite any difficulties.
Deliberate action
Everyone knows that the right decisions are made not in the heat of the moment, not under the influence of strong emotions, but with a cool head. Don't rush into concluding an important deal. It is necessary to use your judgment as much as possible and carefully analyze the available details. Be fair to yourself, try to adequately assess your own prospects. To do this, think: what prevents you from feeling more calm and purposeful in some cases?
Self-control is when, instead of taking a bunch of unnecessary actions, you choose and take only one, but one that will be useful to both yourself and those around you. People actually quickly get used to the fact that someone sacrifices their time or values for their benefit, but are not always ready to do the same in return.
Desire to overcome difficulties
Unfortunately, not every person has such a need. Some of us, finding ourselves in a difficult or unfamiliar situation, get lost and don’t know what to do. Instead of taking a decisive step, the person suddenly begins to take a set of chaotic, unrelated actions. This behavior is called avoidance of reality, when the problem remains unresolved for quite a long time. Many people choose this line of behavior, preferring escape from difficulties to a constructive approach. Of course, it turns out to be much easier to go with the flow than to set real goals and try to solve them.
The desire to overcome difficulties is dictated by the maturity of the individual, the maturation of his motivational sphere. When a person clearly knows why he needs this or that achievement, as a rule, unnecessary questions do not arise. In a state of readiness comes strength for action. Such a concept as “self-control” necessarily correlates with the intention to go to the end, to be true to one’s desires.
