Any addiction has a detrimental effect on a person’s life and personality. And the most dangerous thing is often not tobacco, alcohol or food (we won’t touch on drugs, because this topic is very specific), but dependence on other people. It generates not only a constant need for society, but also a fear of loneliness, the inability to independently solve problems and cope with problems, self-doubt, uncertainty, inability to make decisions, etc.
But it is possible to overcome these and many other problems by developing a special quality in yourself. It's called self-sufficiency, and we want to tell you about how to become a self-sufficient person.
Self-sufficiency - what is it?
Self-sufficiency is an ambiguous term. On the one hand, this quality is regarded as positive, because it characterizes the individual as a strong, responsible person. It is associated with taking care of your own body, health, and beauty. On the other hand, this feature acts as a negative personality trait, since self-sufficiency borders on a feeling of loneliness.
A person who is able to provide for himself is considered self-sufficient. This applies not only to the financial side of the issue, but also to the everyday component of life. At the same time, a self-sufficient person does not experience any discomfort from his lonely existence and lack of help in business from loved ones.
In psychology, it is generally accepted that self-sufficiency is the opposite concept of emotional dependence. A self-sufficient person does not feel sad when alone, but effectively uses it for his own purposes: engages in creativity, reads books, watches films.
In sociology, the definition of a self-sufficient person is interpreted through the individual’s independence from public opinion. Such a person in everyday life is guided by his own life principles, and not by fears of being misunderstood by others. He does what he considers necessary, enjoying it. In this understanding, a self-sufficient person is considered to be a person free from social stereotypes, but at the same time observing the norms and rules of behavior in society in combination with self-respect. A person plans his own life.
However, self-sufficiency has its dangers. What does it mean? When this quality is pronounced, the individual loses the ability to enjoy communication and joint activities.
Is self-sufficiency good or bad: pros and cons
Healthy self-sufficiency is a positive personality trait. Such people adequately perceive reality, they are stress-resistant and independent in almost all areas of life. This helps you achieve success in your career, protect yourself from manipulators, or, for example, painlessly survive a breakup.
Developing unhealthy self-sufficiency is not good. These are negative manifestations. When a person lives only by his beliefs, egoism takes over. He becomes too demanding. For him, only his desires, only the satisfaction of his needs matter. He basically doesn't need anyone anymore.
The conscious choice in favor of loneliness is a problem for many self-sufficient people. Photo by cottonbro: Pexels
Please note: such people often remain lonely and don’t even notice it. This is fundamentally wrong. This outcome must be avoided.
Signs of human self-sufficiency
If we recognize that self-sufficiency is a personality characteristic, then there are signs of this quality. These include:
- adequate self-esteem, faith in one’s strengths and abilities;
- developed pride and self-esteem;
- stability of the emotional background (neutral, calm mood prevails);
- the ability to benefit from temporary loneliness;
- lack of intrusiveness in communication;
- the ability to clearly define your boundaries and respect the boundaries of other people;
- low level of anxiety;
- high ability to adapt to new social conditions;
- independence in making decisions and finding a way out of difficult life situations;
- the ability and willingness to take responsibility for one’s words and actions;
- desire for freedom from control;
- refusal to try to re-educate someone;
- the ability to use one’s own experience in difficult situations;
- negative attitude towards the moral teachings and advice of others.
Characteristics
The man is successfully engaged in his business, he is strong in spirit, open to communication. He can freely be left alone in a difficult situation, and at the same time he will feel comfortable. This is healthy self-sufficiency. And it’s a completely different matter when a man talks about how good he feels alone. But from the outside it is clear that he is withdrawn and not ready for new acquaintances. Such a person is afraid to make any independent decisions, constantly trying on the mask of a successful personality, under which in reality he is unhappy. This is problematic self-sufficiency.
So, let's figure out what kind of self-sufficient man he is? In a relationship with him, it’s like behind a stone wall. He is an excellent owner, a good family man and a wonderful husband. He knows very well what his woman needs. Always supports, pleases and takes care of her. Regardless of her mood, I am ready to share everything that she experiences. At the same time, in no case does he demonstrate his bad mood to others.
With such a person it is both comfortable and difficult, but only if there is a desire to manage him. Since he is resistant to criticism, he perceives it adequately, and is in no hurry to change to please others. In fact, such a person knows how to evaluate himself sensibly, and not rely on the assessment of others.
Qualities of a self-sufficient person
The personal construct of a self-sufficient person includes such qualities as:
- stress resistance;
- generosity;
- psychological maturity;
- rationality;
- courage and straightforwardness;
- determination;
- independence;
Outline your goals
Set clear goals for the year, week or month. Plan your life. The plan may fluctuate, various circumstances may make adjustments to it, but the goals set must ultimately be achieved. A person without a goal has an incomplete life.
From the above, we can conclude that a self-sufficient man is a person for whom only his own society will be enough for a full life.
Things without which there can be no self-sufficiency
In order to be a self-sufficient man you must:
- Have a profession that brings not only a stable income, but also pleasure;
- Have a hobby or favorite hobby, thanks to which you will not constantly think about what to do with yourself;
- Have some character qualities; they can be either congenital or acquired through correction of one’s own deficiencies.
Areas of manifestation of self-sufficiency
A self-sufficient personality is formed in different areas of manifestation of this quality. In each of them, this personality trait can be expressed at a basic, average or absolute level. An individual can demonstrate independence in all areas at once or be self-sufficient only in one of the areas of manifestation of this quality.
Social sphere
What does self-sufficiency mean in the social sphere? This is the widest field of its manifestation. This means that a self-sufficient person is perceived as such in society: in an educational institution, in the company of friends, at work. Such a person achieves success in any activity.
It is generally accepted that a self-sufficient person can achieve such success first in the professional sphere, and then in other types of social activities.
Economic sphere
The economic sphere of self-sufficiency is associated with solving everyday issues: a person’s ability to use modern technology, create comfort in a room, and prepare food.
In the economic sphere, becoming a self-sufficient person is equally difficult for both men and women. For a man, economic independence is difficult, as he needs to cook his own food and keep the house clean in order to become a self-sufficient person. For a woman, economic independence is also a difficult task: taps regularly break, light bulbs burn out, and the soul requires rearranging the room and major repairs. Fragile girls cannot bear this trouble.
We can say that children, due to their age, are not characterized by economic independence at all.
Psychological sphere
In modern science, an opinion has formed that a psychologically self-sufficient person is an individual who demonstrates resistance to the opinions of others. The main guideline for him is his own well-being. A psychologically independent person always knows what to do with himself and does not experience discomfort during a long separation from loved ones. When he is alone at home, he does not turn on the TV in order to create the illusion of the presence of someone else in the room; he is comfortable in silence.
Why self-sufficient people need to carefully change their lives
Self-sufficient people often have many rules and boundaries. They often feel comfortable alone, then everything is taken care of. The thought of sudden changes leads to panic, because it depends on the circumstances.
A self-sufficient person can make a good family man, but you need to approach changes carefully. Gradually, calmly discuss everything and lay out conditional rules. When a person gets used to changes, they will become part of his self-sufficiency.
The advantage of a self-sufficient person is that such a person can soberly assess the situation around him, understand what is good for him and what is bad. He is not against restructuring his usual way of life. Often he cannot adapt quickly, but he is ready for many changes. Without disputes, scandals, trials. But simply through the understanding that it is useful and necessary.
How to become a self-sufficient person
What do you need to want to develop such a quality as self-sufficiency? You can start by taking responsibility for your life. Planning your own immediate future is the first step towards self-sufficiency. When you can cope with this, you can begin to turn your dream into a goal. And achieving a goal step by step is already a habitual action for a self-sufficient person.
For those who want to gain complete independence, psychologists recommend trying to organize their own life, relying only on themselves in solving economic issues, learning to earn money and spend it rationally.
The most difficult area of developing independence is psychological. Here a person who dreams of self-sufficiency will have to reconsider his social circle, eliminating unnecessary people from his life. In addition, you have to engage in self-development - this may require the help of a qualified psychologist. Combating personal complexes and healing psychological trauma sometimes requires a lot of time and money. A sign of successful formation of self-sufficiency in the psychological sphere will be a person’s ability to enjoy solitude.
About the term
They speak of self-sufficiency when a person does not need anyone for a comfortable life, he is not afraid of loneliness, and he is independent from anyone. He can handle everything on his own, and someone’s praise or approval does not mean much to him. But self-sufficiency can be different - positive and negative.
Positive - also called healthy, a valuable quality for a person. He is successful, self-confident, tries to succeed in everything, clearly knows what he needs from life and takes full advantage of it. And negative - problematic self-sufficiency - is when a person has separated from society and in this way tries to escape from life, from his problems.
You can find out more interesting information by reading John Acuff’s book “Get Started.” Punch fear in the face, stop being “normal” and do something worthwhile.”
My recommendations
A sense of self-sufficiency today is equated with social maturity. It’s difficult to argue with this, because every adult should be able to earn a living, take care of himself, and have his own opinion on this or that issue.
But in my opinion, any personality trait looks organic in the general psychological construct only if it does not dominate the others. A person’s acquisition of a certain level of self-sufficiency is a natural result of growing up and psychological maturity.
Everything needs balance. Nature intended it so that the masculine and feminine principles find balance only by uniting into one whole - into a family. A woman’s economic self-sufficiency oppresses a man. He does not see the possibility of using his abilities and physical strength. At the same time, a man’s independence in everyday life replaces his need for care and affection from a woman. So, in my opinion, self-sufficiency in the everyday life of one of the partners will sooner or later lead to the destruction of the union between a man and a woman.
In addition, excessive self-sufficiency can lead to social isolation of the individual, which will create conditions for the development of addictive behavior.
Content
- About the term
- Characteristics
- Be near
- Why is it beneficial to be a self-sufficient man?
Greetings, my dear readers! Today we will talk about men. About those men with whom we women want to be close, who pull us towards them like a magnet. You probably already guessed which man our conversation will be about? About someone who is comfortable to be around, but not boring. This is the kind of person in whom you can feel the core, but he does not hurt, he respects the feelings of others. Of course, we will talk about self-sufficiency. Many people talk about it, but they have a vague idea of what it is.
A self-sufficient man is a dream for many women. But why, they often cannot explain it in words. Therefore, I propose to understand the concept together. Let’s also ask ourselves whether self-sufficient men need a family. After all, doubts often arise about this.
How does self-sufficiency manifest itself in men?
What does the phrase “self-sufficient man” mean? It means strong and confident.
Self-sufficiency is expressed in the following:
- respect for one’s interests and the ability to defend one’s views;
- respect for personal boundaries and worldviews of other people;
- independence from public opinion;
- adequate perception of constructive criticism and the ability to ignore destructive comments;
- self-love and total self-acceptance, knowledge of one’s strengths and weaknesses;
- the ability to admit your mistakes and learn from them;
- independence;
- having purpose and meaning in life, following them;
- understanding your emotions, needs and desires;
- the ability to help and accept help, but not to abuse either one or the other;
- lack of fear, especially fear of loneliness.
Important! The main thing is not to confuse self-sufficiency with selfishness and pride. A self-sufficient man always acts as he sees fit, and does what he wants, and not what supposedly needs to be done. He can care about others, but to do this you need to earn his respect.
