Composure is the innate or independently developed ability of a person to choose the logically correct line of behavior in extreme conditions. This trait involves making decisions that will help overcome a negative situation, while a person regulates his judgments with the help of common sense, devoid of emotional overtones.
Because of this trait, cold-blooded people may appear reserved, closed, and have a high level of self-control, but this does not mean such a permanent state. Human nature is changeable and everyone has their own limits of patience and control, which is why composure is not a static indicator - someone who is faced with a crisis situation against a background of well-being will have a higher level of restraint than someone who has already gone through many stressful moments.
What is composure?
Composure is a person’s ability to make competent and objective decisions when a tense situation or stress arises.
Synonyms for composure include self-control and restraint. Composure manifests itself in stressful situations, and a person with this quality is able to think soberly at such moments and not give in to panic. An opinion may arise that a cold-blooded person is characterized by restraint, closeness, and emotional stinginess. But these qualities are not inherent to him all the time; composure makes itself felt only when it is necessary to maintain composure in a stressful situation, i.e. composure cannot be called a static indicator.
Composure does not mean the presence of alienation of emotions, coldness. It is about having maximum control over your own feelings and having the ability to stabilize emotions to achieve a favorable outcome.
How self-control can help you stay in control
Photo by Michelle Leman: Pexels
But not everything is so sad, you can still change your attitudes and mood, although this will require a lot of effort. In order to maintain composure and not demonstrate your true emotions and feelings to others, you need to learn to manage your inner state.
Self-control is the highest degree of volitional manifestation. It is part of one system, which includes self-regulation and self-awareness. These qualities allow the individual to regulate and control their emotions, or rather the reaction to their occurrence.
Anyone who knows how to regulate their emotional state will be able to remain calm and act adequately even in the most stressful situations. Self-control, as a personality trait, includes in its system a whole set of human properties:
- Ability to maintain self-control in situations of conflict.
This quality indicates the presence in the character of the ability to inhibit one’s strong emotional reactions and attractions. The main feature of endurance is its stable state in response to suddenly occurring stimuli.
Self-control. Where does self-mastery begin?
For example, a conflict can flare up unexpectedly on public transport, and if you let go of your emotions and act on them, serious troubles can arise. But if a person has self-control, then he will have enough strength and intelligence to restrain his aggression and act within the framework of the law and cultural norms.
- The ability to quickly make decisions is determination.
It is this quality that determines in a matter of seconds what a person’s reaction will be at the moment of conflict. As soon as a strong negative emotion arises and the brain demands a reaction, the cognition arises: “Oh, what should we do right now?” A decision is made within a few seconds, in other words, a person has only a moment to decide how to act.
- Courage as a quality integral to strong-willed behavior.
In this context, this quality is seen as opposed to cowardice. Cowardice will not allow a person to exercise deliberate control over his emotions. Many scientists have established the fact that cowardice, as a manifestation of fear, is the main emotion at the moment of loss of control over oneself.
- A set of moral and volitional qualities that determine the direction of a person’s actions.
This includes such personal qualities of a person as: self-sufficiency and independence, integrity, initiative, discipline. The formation of a value-semantic system also plays an important role.
All these qualities are formed and developed in a person from early childhood to adolescence. From infancy, a child absorbs examples and response options and models of behavior in conflict situations. It is worth noting that control over emotions is also necessary in cases with great manifestations of joy and happiness. But, since these emotions are positive, the reactions do not have destructive consequences.
An example of composure
One of the greatest examples of composure, which, by the way, everyone can see, is a moment from the film “Bridge of Spies” (2015), where Tom Hanks played the role of a lawyer defending in court a captured spy who was facing the death penalty.
At one of the key moments, when the defendant was about to be sentenced to death (possibly death), the defendant himself was absolutely calm - he did not worry, did not panic, there was complete serenity and calm on his face.
And so, at this moment, his lawyer - Tom Hanks (right) asks him - “Aren’t you worried at all?”
And the defendant, with a smile on his face and his characteristic calm, asks him a counter question: “Will this help?” But this is not just a counter question, but, in fact, this is the answer. Indeed, worry and loss of composure have never helped anyone, and maintaining composure in emergency situations is very, very important.
Episode from "Seventeen Moments of Spring"
The 1973 cult film left many powerful episodes in the memory, one of which was the interrogation of radio operator Kat. The SS Sturmbannführer who conducted him uses an inhumane technique against the mother: in order for the intelligence officer to hand over Stirlitz, he places her infant child naked near the window, although he may die from frostbite. At the same time, the fascist himself is nervous, justifying his actions with his duty to the country. There are two more Germans present in the scene: SS Unterscharführer Barbara Krain and Helmut Calder.
Let's pay attention to their behavior. Helmut retains his humanity; he realizes that the child is not to blame and cannot be held responsible for the actions of adults. He tries to calm the baby down and resist the actions of Jurgen Rolf. And when this fails, he pulls the trigger to deal with the baby’s cruel tormentor. Barbara demonstrates completely different behavior. Not a single muscle moved on the face of the woman, whose very nature was designed to protect children. In a negative sense, composure is indifference, insensitivity, coldness, insensitivity, apathy, mental callousness (synonyms). Extremely incapable of compassion, she has no emotional response to what is happening. Moreover, according to the scenario, the woman is only 20 years old.
What makes people like this? Lack of love and heartfelt affection in the family, alienation from loved ones, thoughtless fanaticism. Of course, Krain cannot serve as an example to follow, but the actions of Viktor Mostovoy inspire respect, and many would like to maintain clarity of thought in a difficult situation.
Pros and cons of composure
We have discussed the positive aspect of being cool, but there is also a negative aspect to this quality. But it is important to note that composure becomes negative when it becomes excessive. In particular, a person with an excessive level of composure may demonstrate cruelty, a high level of inhumanity. In its negative manifestation, this quality is inherent in maniacs, mad scientists, an emotionally burnt-out supervisor, and a medical worker who does not see patients as people, but only as work. Such hypertrophied composure is due to a lack of empathy, i.e. the ability to empathize with other people.
But a “healthy” composure that has not become excessive has many positive aspects. In particular, such a person is practically not subject to manipulation. This character trait helps to formulate an accurate plan even in a stressful situation that changes quickly and requires extreme concentration.
Composure not only allows you to react correctly to stressful situations, but sometimes turns into an actual necessity in certain areas of activity. For example, in the rescue service. A cool-blooded person can control his feelings in an extreme situation and give the right instructions. This quality also helps to adapt normally in a team that is characterized by high competition, a poor microclimate, and not to succumb to manifestations of mobbing, blackmail and emotional abuse.
Most people would like to become cold-blooded to calm the nervous system, change their lives, and solve problems with emotions. It is important to consider that this task can be accomplished. Let's figure out how to do this.
Landing on the Neva
The year was 1963. A Tu-124 plane with passengers on board took off from Tallinn airport. Even on takeoff, an emergency occurred - the landing gear jammed. The crew commander, Viktor Mostovoy, requested an emergency landing, but the fog that thickened over the city did not allow it to be made. He was offered to sit in Pulkovo, on a spare dirt runway (Leningrad). While emergency services were rushing to the intended landing site, the plane was circling at an altitude of 400 meters, running out of fuel. When nothing foreshadowed trouble, another unusual situation awaited the crew - the fuel meter turned out to be faulty. When the plane approached the eighth circle, the fuel supply ran out and the left engine stalled, and a couple of minutes later the second one, although the meters showed the presence of fuel.
Finding himself at a distance of 21 km from the airport, the 30-year-old commander of the airliner, maintaining his composure, made the only right decision - to land on the Neva without endangering the city. Having chosen the area between the Finlyandsky and Bolsheokhtinsky bridges, he delicately landed the plane ten meters from one of them. Having made an emergency landing on the river, he saved the lives of passengers and crew. The man's composure was amazing. However, eyewitnesses say: Mostovoy was the last to leave the liner, and everyone was amazed - in a few minutes he became completely gray.
So, there are two main indicators of composure: the presence of a stressful situation and the ability to maintain clarity of thinking, which made it possible not to succumb to panic, but to make the only correct decision in the current situation. We list the synonyms of this concept:
- self-control;
- calm;
- presence of mind;
- self-control;
- excerpt.
Composure here is seen as a personality quality, a character trait that the crew commander possessed.
How to develop composure?
To develop this character trait, it is necessary to develop a number of qualities, including learning to maintain internal balance, behave with restraint, not dramatize or exaggerate the significance of problems, be able to be distracted and control yourself. Let's talk about how to develop these skills.
- To achieve internal balance, you will need to forget about existing fear. This will allow you to be resilient and understand how the problem can be solved. For example, if you stop being afraid of the occurrence of a certain important event, you can calm down and understand that this event must happen. It is important to control your own breathing. It should be smooth. This will help you feel calm. It is necessary to understand that problems are mandatory for solving a problem. And you can do this only after concentration. It will be hard. But only this approach will help a person develop composure;
- To feel restraint, you need to learn to notice the main thing in a problem and discard everything unnecessary. There should be no unnecessary barriers in consciousness. After this, you will be able to make the right decision and understand the depth of the problem. It is important to demonstrate the following qualities - empathy, mutual understanding. They are considered the main helpers for long-term endurance during the occurrence of a problem.
- Visualize - be able to imagine a difficult circumstance in life as a web that needs to be untangled. You won't be able to do this if you start to get nervous. The web will only get bigger. After visualizing the problem in the form of a web, you can calm down.
- To achieve composure, you will need to learn to think about the current situation , which can cause stress. It is necessary to analyze it in the context of all factors, weigh all the pros and cons, find and make the necessary decision. You cannot rush or prematurely share your experiences and concerns with other people. It’s better to be alone and think about the problem. It may turn out that the primary information was incorrect, obtained due to emotions, but in reality the situation is different and not everything is so bad.
- There is no need to dramatize when a problem arises or try to “inflate” it. You need to soberly analyze the current situation and control your own thoughts. They can lead in the wrong direction. To avoid such a situation, you will need to force yourself to think that the problem that has arisen is completely insignificant. And solving it will not require spending a lot of time and effort.
How to learn to manage your emotions
To begin with, you should independently analyze your actions and understand what exactly is the trigger that provokes the wrong reaction. It’s worth saying right away that if you have started working on yourself, then blaming other people is not accepted here. No one can ever influence the behavior of another person, and it is also impossible to force him to act differently. This means that you need to change your own attitude and reaction to unpleasant situations.
- You should start by reflecting on your own emotions and feelings at the moment of experiencing negative emotions.
Of course, you should learn to recognize your emotions and feelings from childhood, and if someone thinks it’s easy, then let him try to do it himself.
Photo by John Diez from Pexels
Reflection can begin at any time; it is important to recognize your emotions, both positive and negative. You need to ask yourself questions: “What am I feeling now?”, “What emotion or feeling is this?” When reflection becomes a habit, the moment a bright emotion comes, the brain will immediately recognize it.
- The second stage is the development of endurance.
Here it is worthwhile to gradually introduce certain restrictions on yourself, which may be in different areas of life. You can increase your workload in the gym, introduce restrictions on food, and on the use of gadgets. Discipline and willpower go hand in hand, which is why it is worth reconsidering your regime and daily routine.
- Affirmations and visualization have a good effect.
The affirmation should include the following attitude: “I am calm and courageous, I am determined and confident.” You can create an installation yourself, which in the future will need to be repeated in the morning and at night, when the person is in a calm state.
If behavioral disturbances and aggressive reactions are the result of neuroses, long-term depression or past traumatic situations, you should definitely seek help from a qualified specialist.
Advice from Daniel Levitin
The American psychologist promotes the practice of preventive work, when it is analyzed in advance what could go wrong and what unpleasant surprises may occur in a given situation. Surely, Viktor Mostovoy’s actions had been practiced many times before in simulators, when options for possible engine failure were considered. Composure is the ability to curb emotions and give way to reason, mobilizing the body, but not the appearance of a ready-made solution out of nowhere.
Therefore, in a calm environment, it is advisable to think in advance about certain actions in the event of, for example, preventing the loss of valuables, documents, emergency leaving the apartment, etc. To do this, you should identify special places for storing keys, a phone, documents, a wallet. Photos or copies of documents should be placed on electronic media in order to quickly restore them in case of loss.
