Quarrels in the family are a normal phenomenon that does not allow spouses to “cool” towards each other. The main thing is to adequately assess the scale of conflicts in order to prevent a sharp deterioration in relations in time. Does your husband rarely come home? Has your spouse stopped showing you signs of attention? Does your chosen one spend his free time with friends? Do you have suspicions about your lover's infidelity? Does your husband not want to spend time with you?
The variety of suspicions and negative thoughts that arise at the subconscious level is a reason to think about discord in relationships. You should not be embarrassed by the excessive activity of your spouse, convincing you of the opposite state of “things”. Do not exclude the possibility that the chosen one is satisfied with his current lifestyle, and therefore carefully hides the truth. Silence on the part of a man is another good reason to start looking for a problem that definitely exists.
Prerequisites for the current situation
Initially, identify the prerequisites after which the man changed. Remember recent situations, correlate events with the personal qualities of the chosen one. Do not forget to check the accuracy of the words of your lover, who convinces you that he regularly spends his free time with friends. If you persistently decide to find out the true reasons for the absence of your spouse next to you, then check out the common factors that guide men:
The wife prevents her husband from feeling like a wealthy and self-sufficient person by not admiring his successes and focusing on his husband’s failures. No one would like to live in such a world, so spending time with friends, lovers or colleagues is an understandable phenomenon. A man met a sexy and successful woman who awakens in him natural instincts that have “fallen asleep” over the years of living together with his wife. A surge of emotions and a change in the usual routine, the emergence of new sensations and the emergence of a feeling of being in demand - there are many reasons for visiting a mistress, so the chosen one is in no hurry to go home. The oppressive constancy and everyday routine that appears in families over time. It is possible to get rid of such a regime only together, and in the absence of dialogue, it does not seem realistic to solve the problem. Loss of sexual desire between spouses, which has become a prerequisite for the emergence of new interests and hobbies in a man. The chosen one does not want to return home to his wife, whose intimate life leaves much to be desired. The reason for the discord in the family is the polygamy of the spouse, who is accustomed to being guided by personal preferences and paying attention to 2-3 girls at once. The only solution in this situation is to file for divorce, because it is almost impossible to correct the character of an adult. A woman who tries to come to terms with this type of relationship dooms herself to many years of suffering. Lack of proper amount of attention that a wife should pay to her husband. The reason for the lack of communication is children, because the mother devotes a lot of time to them, spending a lot of strength and energy. In this situation, the chosen one rushes to public places in search of dialogue, preferring a conversation with a stranger to loneliness within the walls of his home. The prerequisite for rare meetings between husband and wife is the sexual dissatisfaction of the spouse. The lady's lack of experience or a large number of prohibitions on intimate life, different interests and preferences in bed or excessive modesty - there are many reasons why a man is in no hurry to go home. The psychology of jealousy of some guys becomes a compelling reason to awaken old feelings in their wife. The husband tries to come home less often, keeping time together with his wife to a minimum, trying to arouse “false” jealousy in her. The feeling of revenge, reinforced by the “old” resentment against his wife, becomes a powerful argument for a man who wants to fill the “gaps” in his sex life and restore low self-esteem. The woman stopped taking care of herself, forgetting about makeup and updating her wardrobe. A man who daily contemplates his chosen one in a dressing gown and with disheveled hair will invariably go “to the left” in search of adventure. The wife has no idea about the extent of her husband’s bad habit, who abuses alcohol. The goal of the spouse is not meeting with friends, but the opportunity to enjoy alcoholic beverages away from the chosen one who reproaches him for this. Selfish motives known only to the spouse.
Having previously familiarized yourself with the reasons, you can mentally prepare for a conversation with your husband. When finding out the reason, do not succumb to panic attacks, remain calm. Having rationally weighed the words spoken by your spouse, correlate his phrases with the above premises. Have you decided on the “root of all troubles”?
How to get your husband to spend more time with his family
Unfortunately, cases when fathers of the family prefer to spend their free time outside the home, having fun with friends, going hunting or fishing are not uncommon. Moreover, such behavior of a man, as a rule, always leads to family scandals with his wife. Women cannot understand why her husband is trying so hard to distance himself from his own children and solving household issues, because once upon a time their married life seemed like a real fairy tale, based on mutual help and understanding.
Not knowing how to deal with the indifference of their beloved man, wives prefer to sort things out with him by shouting, but, as practice shows, this does not give any positive results. Husbands only avoid solving a pressing problem for their family, finding hundreds of excuses. As a result, after some time the wife calms down and there is a temporary truce in the house, but very soon the situation repeats itself again.
A wife can easily solve a similar problem that has arisen within her family by showing a little feminine wisdom and patience, and simple advice from experts in the field of psychology of family relationships can help her in this task.
Effective ways to solve the problem
Having learned the scale of the current situation, do not rush to get upset and panic - calm down and determine for yourself the likelihood of restoring your love relationship. If the husband has “sank” to the point of physical infidelity, then it is difficult to help with recommendations. You must decide for yourself: Do you need this man? Are you ready to forgive him for his betrayal? After answering simple questions, follow the following advice from psychologists to establish mutual understanding:
Try to understand your husband without judging him. Arrange a romantic evening where you sit at a round table in a peaceful atmosphere. Organize a constructive dialogue, after which you will find out the true cause, proposing ways to solve the problem. Remind your husband of the words he said at the registry office. The fact that guys have muscles and brutal stubble does not deprive them of sentimental and nostalgic feelings. Marriage is a holy covenant made in the sight of God. Give the man time to realize the magnitude of the above phrase. Avoid conflicts that provoke a worsening of the current situation in the family. Negative thoughts and depression are true “enemies” of reconciliation, so give up aggression and reproaches. Tune in to a positive mood, conveying a charge of positive emotions to your husband. Every spouse wants to return to an understanding wife. Take care of your own appearance - visit a hairdresser, sign up for a session with a cosmetologist, purchase a gym membership. Even a busy mother who devotes a lot of time to raising children can devote 1 hour a day to face-transforming procedures.
Find out about your husband's new hobbies by studying the specifics of the identified area of interest. Does he like football? Read information about upcoming championships on the Internet. Your knowledge in the field of sports will definitely pleasantly surprise a man. Be patient, because in the current situation, a decision will have to wait an indefinite amount of time. If you show dissatisfaction with a man’s “softness,” he will not think about changing his own position. A spouse's worldview can only be influenced through lengthy conversations.
Innovations will invariably revive the love relationship between spouses, which means that a man will be able to look at his wife again from a different angle. The main thing is to notice the problem in a timely manner, replacing dirty diapers with lace underwear and “provocative” stockings. Awakening sexual desire in your chosen one, with whom you have woken up together for many years, is incredibly simple. You know about your husband’s preferences and are familiar with your husband’s “weaknesses” - all that remains is to use the available information correctly.
If the wife understands in time that she can be a mistress, a loyal friend, and a reliable colleague, then the spouses will not have to have an unpleasant conversation about divorce. The longevity of a marriage directly depends on the desire of the chosen one to change, so when looking for the reason, be sure to pay attention to your own behavior.
The man suddenly turned into a homebody
What can push an active and cheerful guy to at some point turn into an avid homebody who cannot be pulled out of the apartment?
Fatigue from work is not taken into account - it’s just an excuse. After all, the spouse has enough energy to watch football or play computer games! But I have no desire to go to the premiere of a film together, as before. And if you point out such a discrepancy, the man will answer you in an irritated tone.
The reason for his reluctance to accompany you to relatives or friends may lie in simple laziness. He is not interested in listening to women's gossip or pie recipes. And he doesn’t want to watch a movie surrounded by laughing teenagers loudly chewing popcorn. It’s much more comfortable to turn on a video at home and enjoy watching it while lounging on the couch.
Sometimes, having married a long-legged, well-groomed beauty, the husband ends up with some kind of disheveled, unmade-up beast in a shapeless T-shirt and leggings. He is simply ashamed to go out in public with such a lady. And it doesn’t matter that at first he himself said: “You don’t need to put on makeup! You are already so beautiful to me...” Now his tone has changed: “How can I leave the house with such an ugly person?!”
The virtual world can captivate a spouse so much that he will rush home after work, solely to quickly get to the computer and his favorite games. Here he can do everything that is inaccessible in real life - shoot, kill, break, destroy. Therefore, he will only brush aside your offer to go admire the crimson maple leaves in the park. This is already an addiction that needs to be fought.
Why don't you communicate?
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Let’s figure out why this happens and what to do if you are the one who constantly tells your friends: I don’t want to communicate with my husband. If you don't find a situation or advice that suits you, write a comment. Let's look at that too.
Communication can be different. Verbal requires words. Non-verbal communication is carried out through gestures and facial expressions. So you can communicate with your husband in different ways. The ideal situation is that you are chatting, smiling at each other, having fun and feeling good. You are in the mood for communication and happy. But there are other situations.
Offended or dissatisfied, you refuse to talk to him. In case of emergency, you pronounce rare words through clenched teeth. Your body is closed, any touch causes discomfort. You want to leave, disappear, or you dream that your husband will disappear.
It happens that you play. You don’t talk, you avoid direct contact, however, your whole body screams that this is just a mask, you need communication. It’s just that the prince in the form of a husband should understand you and disenchant you.
Or another exceptional situation - spouses communicate only through messengers. They sit in the same apartment in different rooms, but try to avoid real communication. It’s so convenient - you ask a question, you get an answer, and there’s no arguing. There is no need to look into your eyes or hear laughter in response to your proposal, which may seem stupid. You are protected from all sides by phones or computers.
Game of silence in relationships (husband-wife)
Children interfere with holidays together
In theory, children should bring joy to the family, but in practice the opposite is often true. With the birth of a child, the couple’s lifestyle changes significantly, which can lead to a cooling of relations between spouses. Moreover, this can happen both to families with many years of experience, and to those who hastily got married in the middle of nowhere.
The wife is completely devoted to the needs of the baby, and the husband, left to his own devices, comes up with individual entertainment. And returning him to joint hikes in the future will not be so easy.
It is important for all family members to rebuild in time, unite and survive this crisis together.
