Masculinity - definition, ways to develop this feature for a man

The expression of masculinity is as unique among people as the individual fingerprint on each person's hand.

Masculinity is the behavioral and mental characteristics inherent in the male sex. Therefore, this is a gender characteristic, that is, it implies the difference between men and women. A man's masculinity comes from his body, from his male organs.

It is already present in every man. Each person has their own and unique feature, and everyone expresses it to varying degrees.

A man should not delve into his head and think over every step about how a real man acts. There are no secret codes or rules that a man follows.

Common masculine traits:

• command;
• steadfastness;
• confidence;
• centeredness (the ability to concentrate as much as possible on one thing);
• determination;
• dominance;
• fearlessness;
• feeling of freedom;
• equilibrium;
• focus;
• determination;
• congruence (read more about congruence and comfort with yourself at the link).

All these traits also relate to those very masculine character traits that women like and attract.

How society imposes the wrong meaning on a concept and leads us by the nose

All signs of expressing masculinity are behavioral signs, not visual signs .

Society and mass media impose the opposite on people - an erroneous understanding of the term. It knows nothing about what masculinity is.

Society does not want men to develop this trait. It wants only one thing: for men not to change and remain the same as they are now.

• Society imposes a superficial value system on men. That is, he wants to introduce a social program into our heads that supposedly confidence depends on visual signs. Illusions are implanted into our heads, and people believe in them.
• Society is trying to impose on us that masculinity depends on appearance and money. This is wrong. In fact, even if a guy has a model appearance, this does not help strengthen his inner core. Likewise, the masculine features of a man’s face do not mean anything. After all, it's just appearance.
• Society imposes the illusion on guys that supposedly being a real man means being romantic with girls and pleasing them, buying them flowers. If a girl leaves somewhere, then supposedly you have to pick her up in a car and take her wherever she wants.

For example , a typical example of a film that enforces the wrong behavior of men with girls is the film “The Hitch Method”. This is one of the strangest films where a guy chases a girl and studies her lifestyle for about a month in order to get closer.

Such films confuse men, and they do not know how to communicate with girls so that they later fall in love with each other and everything is fine with them.

Most people nowadays are victims of external circumstances, and they have lost themselves.

Distinguish between the real and the false and break out of the herd mentality.

1. Test everything from your own experience and look at the world with your own eyes. Don't always trust second-hand experience.
2. Realize that not everything in this world works correctly and not everything is in your favor . It will be hard to understand because everyone believes otherwise. This is social programming.
3. Believe and realize that you can become better, happier. And for this, work on yourself. You must know everything about how to motivate yourself to study and develop yourself.

The masculine changes along with the feminine

For quite a long time, the role of the father was considered rather distant: he feeds the family, is a moral authority for children, but does not bother with them. Now this situation is changing: many men enjoy spending time with their children and performing various tasks of raising and caring for them. Moreover, communication with children can be an important emotional resource for a modern man.

However, there are also negative sides. Women are starting to work in greater numbers and can already live independently. The man ceased to be something necessary, and the question of the quality of the relationship arose. The requirements for men are also not necessarily realistic - they intertwine traditional requirements for masculinity (feeding the family, higher male salaries) and a bunch of new ones: emotional partnership, involved fatherhood, sexual claims. This often contradicts each other and leads to an increase in the number of divorces.

Stereotypes and misunderstandings of the term

Masculinity in psychology is not external or superficial signs.

stereotypes and examples of misunderstandings of masculinity can be identified

• Apparently you must have a very deep voice.
• An erroneous portrait is drawn of a man who is always ready to fight and is in the mood for a fight.
• It is a mistake to believe that a man has to be bad or a scoundrel.
• Society imposes that this is typical only for macho men.
• Allegedly, a man must have a beard and body hair.
• Supposedly it is only characteristic of pumped up and healthy muscular men.
• Supposedly such a man should have no emotions and should be completely cold-blooded and emotionless.

There's nothing wrong with having a bad voice. But a man should not be arrogant and should not have inflated self-esteem and ambition.

A masculine man is not one who pretends to be a tough guy. You can read more about arrogance and ego

But these days, especially the mass media, have simply destroyed the concept of masculinity and erased the true meaning of this concept. Signs of masculinity have come to be considered and valued in ways that are not what they really need.

Androgyny4

There is nothing permanent and absolutely unchanging in the world, especially when it comes to humans. For every rule there is an exception, the same with masculinity and femininity. Androgyny is the third concept that combines the above two psychological categories. It appeared relatively recently and is a consequence of the combination of two behavior patterns.

If a person possesses both traits characteristic of two opposite categories, moreover, if they are presented in a harmonious form, complement each other and do not compete, then such a person is called androgynous. The presence of both female and male characteristics in one organism is not a pathology; rather, it is a consequence of upbringing.

Androgyny contributes to better adaptation of the individual in society. In the case of a standard situation, femininity and masculinity have certain negative aspects and “one-sidedness,” but androgynes, having a wide range of characteristics, are more stable in social contacts and more prone to self-acceptance.

The appearance of androgynes is a trend in recent decades, when the peculiarities of the social structure dictate their own rules. Men are adapted to domestic life, and women are adapted to an 8-hour working day.

As for women, do they have it?

women also . But women have very little masculinity, because the bodies of men and women are designed differently.

Women do not have male organs that contribute to the development of masculinity.

A woman is built differently , she has completely different reactions to things, a different body. She has completely different hormones, feelings and emotions and a completely different dynamic in general.

Women have feminine energy, the exact opposite of masculine .

Women are characterized by the following qualities:

• sensuality;
• emotionality;
• tenderness.

Women have completely different psychology, biology and chemistry.

Have steadfastness

A man’s steadfastness is balance and non-reaction to all sorts of external little things around him. This means that he walks through the world with ease.

You can feel an unwavering energy in your body, it must come from within and you express it through words and actions.

The following understandings will help you achieve steadfastness:

1. Don't take your condition from outside or outside, take it from within. After all, the atmosphere of the environment can be chaotic and disorderly. You shouldn't depend on her. And for this, do not absorb the state from the outside, take the necessary state from yourself.
2. Approve yourself and do not seek your approval in the eyes of others. You should not seek approval and encouragement from others at all. And then you won’t be hurt by other people’s barbs. And even if someone tries to be rude, you always know how to respond beautifully to an insult and remain steadfast.
3. You shouldn't worry about how you look. Your steadfastness will be easily broken if it depends on how you look or how your hair is combed on your head.
4. Project and express yourself better than you did before. Strive to be your best self.

Be purposeful, follow your path and according to your intentions

To be purposeful means to have your own path in life and your own goal. As a man, you should not be tossed around like a little leaf in the wind.

Most people do not know why they live, and why they do certain things.

The following understandings will help you achieve purposefulness:

1. To be purposeful and achieve a goal means that you know what you are doing and why you are doing it and, approaching the goal, you do not ask permission from anyone.
2. You must know your purpose in this world. From the very morning, as soon as you woke up.
3. You go your own way and you know your way.
4. You must always take responsibility for yourself and your actions. The masculine type of man is not afraid to take responsibility for his actions and actions.

To achieve all your goals, you can read our article on how to get rid of laziness once and for all.

Toxic masculinity

This concept deserves special attention. Toxic masculinity is a psychological concept that describes certain forms of male behavior with high levels of toxicity. This behavior may be directed against women, society at large, or other men who support generally accepted norms and rules.

An example of toxic masculinity would be a man who acts aggressively, constantly shows sexual interest in all attractive women, holds the view that “a woman’s place is at the stove,” portrays himself as an alpha male, and mocks calmer men as henpecked. In addition, toxic masculinity is almost always accompanied by irresponsible behavior both towards society and towards oneself.

As a rule, men who were characterized by toxic behavior in their youth have serious mental problems in adulthood. They suffer from stress and depression, many of them become addicted to alcohol or drugs. Although they still pose as alpha males, their physical fitness is usually very far from perfect, since they do not take care of themselves and almost never exercise.

Walk through the world easily and be internally free, throw away everything unnecessary

Masculine energy implies that you have achieved freedom.

The following understandings and states can help achieve freedom:

1. You don't take everything seriously and to heart.
2. Have a sense of permission to do what you want..
3. You don't attach importance to other people's opinions.
4. Stop identifying yourself with a person , be an individual.
5. Do what you love to do, find a hobby you love . But do it all for yourself. You can forget about your passivity and lethargy, overcome apathy and realize your desires.
6. Don't be afraid of other people's judgement. The essence of masculine culture is that a man does not delve into his own head and does not worry about what others think of him.
7. You don't force things and let everything be . You do not resist anything and accept any events that the Universe gives you. You must be fearless and know everything about how to resolve conflicts with men peacefully.

No matter what happens, you must remain relaxed.

These things cannot be faked.

If someone tries to fake freedom , it will have bad consequences. Because people see and feel that you are doing it for approval, not as an expression of true freedom.

It is inner freedom that makes actors great.

The key is to let go of everything that is holding you back.

In our new article we talk in more detail about how to overcome shyness and self-doubt.

These 3 basic principles and the following exercises will answer your questions about how to develop masculinity.

Notes

1. ↑ 12
   Rycroft Ch. “[www.psychol-ok.ru/dictionary/masculine_masculinity.html Critical Dictionary of Psychoanalysis].” Per. from English L.V. Toporova, S.V. Voronin and I.N. Gvozdev, edited by Ph.D. philosopher. Sciences S. M. Cherkasova. - St. Petersburg; East European Institute of Psychoanalysis, 1995.
2. [dic.academic.ru/dic.nsf/seksolog/119 Sexological Encyclopedia]
3. Sinelnikov A. S.
   [www.owl.ru/gender/197.htm Masculinity] // Dictionary of gender terms / Ed. A. A. Denisova. - M.: Regional public organization "East-West: Women's Innovation Projects": Information XXI century, 2002. - 256 p. — 1000 copies. — ISBN 5-86391-002-4.
4. Kon I. S.
   [sexology.narod.ru/publ018_3.html Changing men in a changing world]. sexology.narod.ru. Retrieved February 14, 2013. [www.webcitation.org/6ERoX2ckJ Archived from the original on February 15, 2013].

Exercises to help you feel freer and develop the 3rd principle of energy

The following 2 exercises will help you develop the third basic principle of masculine energy, the essence of which is to become freer.

Scream as loud as you can in a crowded place

The point is that you just scream at the top of your voice in a crowded place.

People will look at you and they might think you're crazy, but it doesn't matter.

The benefit of the exercise is that you break through the wall that is holding you back. A confident voice appears, you don’t care about other people’s opinions, and the very masculine qualities that women value are revealed.