Emotional incontinence - this can be briefly called a temper of temper. Repeated studies by scientists show that a hot temper manifests itself not only as acquired as a result of something, it can manifest itself from birth, as it is laid down at the genetic level. Therefore, if parents in childhood may not have noticed, missed, or were too lazy to help their child suppress this quality, then at a more mature age it will be more difficult for a person to cope on his own.
Characteristics of a hot-tempered person
How is a hot-tempered person so different from a calm one? A hot-tempered person, faced with some kind of problem, will lose his temper, that is, show his irritability, aggression, resentment, and so on. He will try to solve it with practical methods under the influence of negative emotions, and every time he does not succeed, he will become even more angry and blame for his unsuccessful attempts, first of all, not himself, but circumstances, other people, and will take it out on loved ones. While a balanced and calm person, when making a decision to eliminate a problem, will first think about all the solutions, weigh the pros and cons, and only when he is absolutely sure will he begin to act. In this case, of course, there is a greater chance of solving the problem when there are clear tactics and plans. “Measure twice, cut once” is the main way to solve the problem, but, unfortunately, it is emotional incontinence that prevents hot-tempered people from understanding this truth.
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Learning to take control of your emotions
Any manifestation of emotion is a response of the nervous system to irritation. Incontinence in speech, denial of everything that is happening around you, sudden outbursts of rage - all this is the result of nervous overstrain. In this case, you need to take a little break from all your worries and problems, do what you love, and then everything will fall into place.
Control over emotions
Psychologists say that sometimes you need to give such an opportunity to splash out negative emotions. Otherwise, a person’s condition can only worsen, and he will simply “withdraw into himself.” True, excessive temper can develop into a habit and become an integral character trait. In order to find the so-called “golden mean”, you should try to control the manifestation of your emotions in different situations.
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Self-esteem of a person
Male and female temperament
Most often, a hot temper can be observed in men. In most cases, it manifests itself in the form of irritability and aggression. In addition, increased temperament, which is characterized by anger, is quite common.
Anger is a negative and strong feeling that occurs when a person is extremely dissatisfied with something.
Here you can make a certain chain of what hot temper can lead to: irritability - anger - aggression. When a person gets irritated, he can simply grumble something with dissatisfaction and squint his eyes in the direction of the irritant. At the next stage of anger, he may already raise his tone, scream and nervously gesticulate. At the third stage, when he is in the stage of aggression, actions take place that begin with a scream and can lead to assault, including possible damage to furniture or objects around that are nearby at that moment.
As for women's temper, everything is much more interesting. Basically it consists of resentment and hysteria. Often women consciously take advantage of resentment, since this is the most common way of manipulating other people. Sometimes women deny their offense, not seeing that with all their actions they show exactly the opposite. As for hysteria, aggression may well be present here; the actions are no different from men’s, except that women are more prone to physical self-control. Also a very important factor in women's temper is that sometimes they are not entirely able to control it, and this happens during certain phases of the menstrual cycle.
Hot temper, how to get rid of it physiologically?
Since aggression appears as a result of signals sent to the brain, a person is able to trigger a reverse reaction. To master this skill, you will have to practice. The easiest way to not react to a stimulus is to take a couple of deep breaths. Sometimes one minute is enough to reduce the intensity of emotions.
How to get rid of hot temper?
- Look at yourself from the outside . To understand how anger takes over the body and mind, do a simple exercise. To do this, stand in front of the mirror and remember the unpleasant situation or the offender. Next, watch how your facial expression changes and your body tenses. If you haven’t managed to get used to the role, then help yourself. Frown your face, tense your cheekbones and muscles, clench your fists, scream. After a couple of minutes, the brain will pick up the signal and activate physiological processes. You will feel that you are starting to boil and feel aggression. This exercise helps you understand that if a person is able to cause a temper, he can also remove it.
- Let's learn to be calm. Spend 15 minutes on the exercise. in a day. It is best to do it in the morning, when the person is rested and relaxed. While maintaining this state, stand in front of the mirror and smile at the reflection. Say out loud that you are a calm and balanced person. Then imagine that someone has offended you, rehearse a condescending look, come up with a witty joke. Transfer your skills to real life. Ask a friend to make you angry, remember the pose you practiced in front of the mirror. At the initial stage, the main thing is to catch the moment when aggression starts and stop it in a timely manner.
- Realizing that hot-tempered behavior is stupid and uncivilized also helps control the feeling. Aggression will not help in a quarrel, anger is not the best ally in work conflicts, and irritability leaves an unpleasant aftertaste.
Genetic predisposition
Have you ever wondered why people's bad character is often called bad heredity? A group of German scientists from the University of Bonn, led by Martin Reuter, conducted a study on this issue. They discovered a certain gene, which today is called “rs907094”. The carriers of this gene are most often precisely those people who are most susceptible to hot temper.
The same scientists found out, as a result of studying the human brain, that in people who took the survey and were prone to hot temper, the left amygdala in the temporal lobe of the brain was enlarged, and it is this part that is responsible for the manifestation of emotions.
Treatment of postpartum depression
First of all, a woman needs to realize that she really has a disease and it’s not just a “bad mood. And that there is absolutely no shame in seeking help from a psychotherapist.
- Psychotherapy.
The psychotherapist will work through the problem with the woman and analyze the reasons for its occurrence. The specialist will also teach working methods of getting out of depression and controlling your emotions; - Medicines.
This is not a mandatory measure. More often used for severe types of depression. In any case, they can only be prescribed by a doctor to relieve certain symptoms, for example, to improve sleep; - Sport.
It is known that during training the body produces “useful” hormones, which can also help in the fight against depression; - Normalization of the daily routine.
Having a good sleep schedule and getting enough sleep can greatly help in the overall fight against depression. Also, it will not be superfluous for a young mother to find time for herself and her hobbies, handing over the child to her husband or relatives; - Accepting help from others.
In addition to the previous point, in order to get enough sleep and take care of yourself, you need to actively involve your husband, grandparents, and so on in the process of caring for your child. A child is not a woman's responsibility. At a minimum, the husband should do the same.
Loneliness is a consequence of temper
Hot temper and aggressiveness are those human traits that others try to avoid when choosing an interlocutor, comrade, friend or partner. After all, who likes it when people constantly take it out on you? Hot temper is a quality that not many are willing to put up with, and, as a rule, the family suffers the most from it. By the way, in ordinary situations, people with this character trait are no different from balanced people. But as soon as they get into any stressful situation, their true self immediately appears.
Hot temper and irritability are qualities that calm people do not want to face. It’s hard to be friends with a hot-tempered person, but it’s even harder to be in a relationship and build a family. In the end, the calmer person will have to give in and let the other “steer” the situation so that he will be less irritated. Especially hot-tempered people take it very seriously when someone does not share their point of view, if it is important to them. As a result, people with a more balanced emotional state have to sacrifice their interests and principles. As the famous saying goes: “Love is evil, you will love and...”.
The main thing is to stop thinking that there are bad types and there are good ones.
All “not like everyone else,” of course, refuse to believe this, but all of us can really be divided into certain types according to our character and way of life. Then you can believe in anything - whether God has distributed it this way, psychology, the system or the stars, but we can all be classified. What types of women are there? Have you tried to classify them for yourself?
This list will help you, perhaps, learn to understand girls a little better and “recognize” their types, thereby making both them and your life much more comfortable.
Intermittent temper disorder
This disorder can most often be found in the stronger half of humanity. Signs include aggression, verbal abuse, uncontrollable anger, and assault. Unfortunately, this phenomenon is a mental health disorder and requires immediate treatment, otherwise the consequences can be very different. Outbursts of anger and aggression most often affect people who are nearby - colleagues, friends, family. Because of this disorder, other mental disorders may appear - alcoholism and drug addiction, which can further worsen a person’s situation.
Temper is empty
If a person flares up out of the blue, this is an empty temper. It is often equated to a bad habit. And it arises as a result of the increased attention of parents and grandparents to the child. Such children most often achieve what they want by crying and hysterics. Accordingly, this habit remains as one grows up. A mature person begins to think that if he just shouts at someone, all his problems will immediately be solved. Thus, the cause may be not only the gene, but also upbringing.
Risk factors for postpartum depression
Many events can trigger the process of depression.
- Diseases during pregnancy, risk of fetal loss, difficult childbirth;
- Hormonal changes in the body;
- Overwork and fatigue. It's no secret that new mothers don't sleep well. While life is not yet normalized, it is difficult to find time for yourself and your hobbies;
- A sharp change in lifestyle. If before pregnancy (and during it) a woman was socially active, worked or ran her own business, then the role of a “housewife mother” can have a very unpleasant effect on her condition;
- Lack of support from loved ones. If a woman constantly sits at home alone and cares only for the child, this is a high risk factor;
- Conflicts and unstable family relationships;
- Woman's perfectionism. Nowadays, there is an overabundance of information about who the “ideal mother” is. How to properly care for a child, how much to breastfeed, etc. A woman creates for herself an image of ideal motherhood. And when it does not correspond with reality, it begins to suffer greatly.
Temper is justified
How can you explain the other - justified irascibility? This is a conscious temper that arises as a result of the fact that, for example, object A did not fulfill what object B instructed him to do. Example: an employee systematically does not fulfill the requirements that were established. In this situation, the boss has the right to lose his temper, because the employee does not respond to comments. Also, if you are asked to do something, and you ignore it several times, be prepared for the fact that next time you will no longer be asked, but, most likely, will raise your tone. Of course, losing your temper is not right, but sometimes it happens that a person simply does not react to normal treatment, in which case justified irascibility is a completely normal reaction.
What is postpartum depression?
Postpartum (or postnatal) depression is a mental illness characterized by a sharp deterioration in the psychological and emotional background that occurs after childbirth.
This disease affects 10-15% of women. Postpartum depression is not that uncommon.
It is normal to feel weak and irritable in the first couple of weeks after giving birth as your body adjusts to the non-pregnant state. If after a month nothing changes, only deterioration occurs every day, then it’s time to sound the alarm. It is also worth keeping in mind that postpartum depression does not always occur in the first weeks after childbirth - it can appear throughout the first year.
