Not everything is so simple in the world of men. They live with us, love us, but they play by their own rules. And we girls need to know these rules in order to understand what game to play and how to win. The more competently you show yourself in your relationship with your lover, the more points you will earn in the eyes of your chosen one as his girlfriend, wife and mother of future children.
Men are the complete opposite of women
Such a basic truth is often difficult to accept. Women expect men to behave in a manner that is normal and understandable from their point of view. But our actions are largely dictated by hormonal levels, which are radically different for men and women.
Social psychologist Alexander Shakhov recalls that:
- In cases where women experience sympathy (under the influence of the hormone oxytocin), men do not feel it (they release very little oxytocin).
- When a woman feels scared (low testosterone produces adrenaline), a man gets angry (high testosterone helps produce norepinephrine).
Therefore, it is important for a woman to understand that a man’s reaction will not be the same as hers. Observe, ask questions, and show consideration to your partner instead of resentment.
Age characteristics
Depending on the age category, men prefer different women:
Boys under 20, due to an excess of testosterone, are only interested in the external data of girls, without delving deeply into their character.- Men from 20 to 30 years old are usually very busy with their careers, so they are looking for a reliable companion who would help them in their development.
- Men over 30 years of age think about children, so the woman’s health and her ability to bear children becomes a priority.
The above lists only the main aspects of the attitude of men towards women, their basic behavioral characteristics based on gender. You can’t take them as an axiom: every man is individual, so only sincere attention to him will help you unravel all the subtleties of his character.
Irina, Ryazan
Men can't read minds
Girls want their wishes to be fulfilled automatically. Most women passionately want a man to give flowers every day, present exactly what they have wanted for a birthday, meet them home from work with dinner, and not pester them when they are tired.
The list goes on and on. When a man does not live up to expectations, resentment arises.
What do men think about in this case? The paradox is that they do not understand what women want. They seem to know the basic truths, but they constantly forget about them. Therefore, another lady’s hysteria over the wrong gift makes the man perplexed.
Women should learn this truth: if you want something, say it directly. Men do not understand hints, as emphasized by N. I. Kozlov, Doctor of Psychology, Professor, Rector of the University of Practical Psychology.
What should the fair sex do?
Don't be selfish. Every person needs attention and care. And the partner, in turn, wants to be the best for his companion. Therefore, you should not suppress these aspirations, reproach and criticize your spouse. Support, a kind word or pleasant memories can often accomplish the impossible.
Men want to be in charge
How to understand a man: Freepick
It happens that a woman strives to take a leading role in a relationship. Because of this, conflicts will certainly arise in a couple. It is a rare representative of the stronger sex who will allow a woman to decide for him in a couple.
Give the reins to your loved one, acting subtly and carefully. Remember the centuries-tested statement: a man is the head, and a woman is the neck. Recognize and celebrate male dominance.
Choosing a life partner
Every man subconsciously sees a woman as a life partner, and therefore approaches the choice of his partner very seriously.
The most popular signs by which a man understands that a woman is right for him are:
- woman's sexual attractiveness;
- her health and radiant appearance;
- not scandalous;
- the ability to surround a man with care.
All these characteristics are very feminine, so a girl who possesses them will definitely enjoy the attention of most of the men around her.
Men love business and do not like emotions
A man cuts off emotions and feelings when discussing a problem. If at such a moment a woman turns on her emotions and talks about her relationship, thoughts, what she thinks and how she experiences, then the man gets irritated.
To make such misunderstandings less common:
- Ask the man to warn you that now there will be a conversation about business.
- If you want to dream out loud during a conversation with your loved one, then warn about this so that the man does not feel guilty or angry.
Wise advice
Women's wisdom in relationships with men is based on certain postulates. Any girl will understand, having learned them, what is the secret of healthy love between representatives of the weaker and stronger sex. What tips can help a woman become the most desirable for her man?
- Let's take control of our emotions. The play of hormones and excessive emotionality often cause girls to overreact to everyday problems. The wisdom of any woman in a relationship with a man is manifested in the ability to squeeze herself in a vice and not throw tantrums out of nowhere. Before you raise your voice and make complaints, think about the situation several times. Maybe she's not worth a damn?
- Away with inflated demands. You can’t jump above your head, and every man has his own limit of capabilities. Do not demand from your partner something that he is clearly not able to fulfill at the moment. Motivate him gently and carefully, then he will achieve more.
- Spend time together more often. Don’t think that constant separation and rare meetings will make your partner bored. Yes, if this happens infrequently, it does bring strong emotions when the couple reunites. But deliberately avoiding communication in the hope that your partner will get bored is stupid. Rather, the man will go looking for a replacement with a more accommodating lady.
- Joy and a smile on your face are the key to happiness. Even in a store it’s nice when the seller smiles at us. What to say about relationships? Show your sincere feelings more often, and your partner will always beam with happiness when he meets you.
- The first step is not humiliation. If you had a fight with a man and cannot wait for his cherished apology, there is no shame in starting the conversation first. Perhaps you also said too much in the heat of the moment. After all, in a conflict, both participants are almost always to blame. Show nobility and invite your partner to negotiate. It is sometimes so difficult for men to meet halfway, even if they feel guilty.
An ideal woman should apply these tips in everyday life. Men value a comfortable state next to a girl much more than legs from the ears and breasts of the third size.
Men won't admit weakness and won't ask for help.
From childhood, a man is taught that he should be the head of the family, a breadwinner and a strong personality. Boys are shamed when they cry and show emotion. As a result, an adult man gets used to keeping everything to himself.
If a guy can’t cope with something, it’s difficult for him to admit it. He will never ask for help, especially from a woman who is weaker than him. This is male psychology and education.
Psychologist N.I. Kozlov advises women:
- If a man asked for help, then he needs it. Do as he asks. Act gently, tolerantly, and do not criticize or nag the man under any circumstances.
- If a man doesn't ask for help, don't impose.
Support your loved one in his decisions and accept his position. Let your man feel and know that you believe in him and will support him in any situation.
The birth of male love
There is the following scheme for the origin of love:
- a girl is attracted physically - beauty, gait, grace, emotional interest appears
- intellectual attraction - the need to learn more about a potential lover (tastes, interests, hobbies)
- spiritual attraction - feeling of a loved one, common interests, free communication
Thus, for the birth of love, relationships must go through certain stages, and the young man must get to know the girl well enough, then real feelings are possible, with the rapid development of events, only a short affair is possible, mutual interest will not develop to the level of love. For women, on the contrary, intelligence is first attracted , the spiritual side of the personality, and later a craving appears on the physical level.
Harmony is created by combining all points - friendly communication, intellectual, spiritual connection and physical attraction. As a result, stable relationships are formed, similar to the kinship of souls or the meeting of two halves.
However, without physical interest, a man cannot love a woman, only friendship. What about women? Everything may be developing, intellectual interest and intimacy can turn into physical interest. In the absence of one of the components in a relationship - harmony, a woman has a feeling of emptiness, dissatisfaction, a desire to get what she wants from other men: communication, support, understanding, attention.
Why do women complain that men don't know how to love? Perhaps it's all about a different approach to love. In a family, the stronger sex considers material support and fidelity to be the main ones. For him, this is a guarantee of a strong union and a manifestation of love, forgetting about spiritual intimacy, a woman’s need for communication, understanding, romance, and not just physical satisfaction.
How do close relationships develop, stages of relationship development:
- Attraction in men is physical, and in women it is intellectual.
- Uncertainty is a period of doubt, a temporary fading of a man’s interest, you shouldn’t rush it, you need to be patient, it’s a natural process.
- The desire to be the only one is a conscious choice; a person feels the desire to be with one woman, to continue the relationship.
- Mental closeness - complete trust is manifested in communication, a person is ready to open his soul and heart, there is no need to rush to reveal all the complexities of character, lovers perceive shortcomings more easily.
- Engagement is a stage when people are moving towards marriage, planning to live their lives together, but even here there is an opportunity to think through everything and decide whether they are ready to get married, the relationship can end or move on to the next stage of development.
Male psychology in love and relationships has a different development, an intelligent woman should understand: there is no need to rush to force events, go to persuasion, spiritual closeness must develop in order to form strong relationships, a family union in the future. The mistake men make is the desire for quick physical intimacy, girls take longer to fall in love, they need to go through all the stages, even if they meet you halfway, they will not be happy. Of course, men also know how to love, there are truly happy couples, which allows a woman to feel that she is loved and desired, the only one.
Men appreciate care
Secrets of male psychology: Freepick
Men see their partner as a homemaker. It is important for them that the house is always clean, their clothes are kept in order, and that a delicious dinner awaits them in the evening.
Guys sometimes don’t understand that a woman gets tired too and doesn’t always want to potter around in the kitchen. There is a way out of this situation: you can order food at home. The main thing is to share a meal with your loved one and ask about his day.
Feelings or sex
The psychology of men often comes down to the priority of intimate connection. Of course, love also occupies an important position, but not in the first stages of dating. This is due to instincts that even the most intelligent cannot cope with. At the same time, the spiritual part and physiology do not always represent a single whole. Serious intentions can be understood by the behavior of the companion. In this case, he shows concern and waits for a response, tries to achieve mutual understanding and appreciates the devotion of the chosen one.
Ask a question
Men value not only appearance, but also inner peace
If you’re thinking about how to interest a man, then remember that you won’t surprise anyone with a deep neckline and a short skirt. This is the case if you dream of a serious relationship.
Representatives of the stronger sex perceive the female image as a whole. Already on the first date, they analyze whether the woman can become a worthy companion. A provocative image is more likely to scare away a guy. Conquer a man with charisma, sense of humor and intelligence.
A little about betrayal
Women themselves push men to be unfaithful. It so happened that they made intimacy a kind of bargaining chip. This is how they reward their partner and deprive her as a form of punishment. But such attempts at manipulation can end badly.
Another point is everyday life. The stronger sex also loves the attention of others. Living together forces spouses to get used to it, and interest slowly fades away. And a pinch of admiration from a stranger can rip off your companion’s head.
There is a category of young people who love risk. It is he who forces them to cheat, since this is accompanied by a feeling of danger and adrenaline. Moreover, intrigue with a large number of ladies increases self-confidence. There is also the psychology of male hunters, for whom a woman is prey, she must behave like an unsolved mystery and maintain the interest of her chosen one.
A man is a hunter by nature
How to fall in love with a man? Play the role of the prey and let him be the hunter. Don't be intrusive, keep some mystery, but don't go too far with inaccessibility.
Should you call a man if he is missing? There is no exact answer to this question, since it is necessary to proceed from a specific situation. A person could lose their phone, get sick, or go on a business trip.
There are also other options: the man stopped liking you, he was afraid of responsibility, etc. You won’t know the real reason until you contact the object of interest. It’s better to call yourself than to suffer from the unknown.
These are the tips for those who want to understand men. Don't forget about the differences in psychology and perception of the world between different sexes. A frank conversation will help clarify all problematic issues.
Original article: https://www.nur.kz/family/relationship/1814370-psihologia-muzcin-znania-kotorye-pomogut-mudroj-zensine/
"The Dying Swan"
There are times when you need to treat a guy with special care. There is no more defenseless person than a sick person. All this goes towards his upbringing: the boy is taught that during illness the world revolves around him. But this is a great moment for the fair sex to show off their advantage. Making hot broth or raspberry tea, care and attention will do the trick. The satellite will quickly get to its feet.
If you are confused in a relationship
The article I wrote is suitable for any couple, and in almost any situation the proposed steps can lead to happy consequences.
But what to do if the relationship is built incorrectly or lacks the foundation at all - trust, the ability to talk to each other, loyalty, openness, mutual understanding? In order to understand exactly how your couple can build a prosperous family model that will benefit both of you and develop you and your relationship, you can contact a specialist. My name is Lara Litvinova, I am a psychologist and I provide consultations via Skype. Together with you in consultation, we will be able to understand what formed the relationship you have now, and how this can be changed.
You can sign up for a consultation with me through VKontakte, Instagram or the form on the website. You can find out about the cost of services and the scheme of work here. You can read or leave reviews about me and my work using the link.
Your actions
Often it is men who clearly understand what they need from a relationship. Whereas young ladies cannot determine their desires, simultaneously building suspicions about the intrigues and betrayals of their chosen one. Signing up for my consultation will help you get rid of obsessive thoughts. Together we will identify the root of your problem and find the right solution.
A few more recommendations for girls:
- get out of the habit of being sarcastic and touchy;
- look for common ground;
- know how to listen and understand your partner;
- don't try to dominate;
- make him feel like a hero.
The advice is aimed at preserving the guy’s important feelings: self-esteem and respect from others. This is what helps them be strong and successful.
