“I’m not tolerant - I care,” read the lines from a song by a well-known Russian musician. I couldn't agree more. Tolerance is not synonymous with indifference. Tolerance presupposes the ability and ability to respect, accept and recognize the rights of other people, their interests, tastes, and freedom. But one cannot be tolerant of such concepts as aggression, violence, cruelty.
Universal human values are life, freedom, health, family. But does someone who destroys or takes other lives have the right to life? Where is the line of tolerance? Does she exist? How to find her? Let's figure it out.
Problems of today
Somehow, imperceptibly and without unnecessary talk, we entered the 21st century. What was once considered a fantastic future now seems like an ordinary present. The development of technology, colossal progress, it would seem that all this is supposed to change life for the better and smooth out negative influences. But the crime rate continues to rise, and aggressive behavior in society is intensifying.
This can also be seen at the global level: conflicts between states, the desire to seize new lands and eradicate independence. The same thing happens in ordinary interpersonal communication. The stronger in character strive for power and influence over the weak, not taking into account their interests, but pursuing personal gain.
Confrontation against the background of ethnic differences has a particularly strong influence on the development of negative tendencies.
Perhaps it is a tolerant person who is the key to a future without war, murder and violence. But raising a new generation with similar qualities takes time and desire.
Concept of tolerance
This concept has both philosophical and social significance. In principle, they both reflect one single essence - tolerance. The ability to calmly relate to habits, views, and morals that are different from one’s own.
This quality must be developed in relation to the culture of other peoples and nations, various religious movements. A tolerant person is always more confident in himself. He is aware of personal positions and is open to comparison with other points of view. Not afraid to try and learn new things.
G. K. Chesterton said: “Tolerance is the virtue of people who believe in nothing.” That is why it is necessary to have certain moral standards, boundaries that a person is not ready to cross. Because it is impossible to be tolerant of everything.
The concepts of tolerance and permissiveness, indifference to values should not be confused.
By showing respect for the values of other people, their faith, culture, you can learn a lot of new things and meet incredible personalities. To be open is to experience the world every day. But at the same time, you should not allow yourself to be filled with “garbage,” negative emotions, and hostility.
Training to develop tolerance
I bring to your attention E. S. Arbuzova’s training on the development of tolerance. Exercises can be used either separately or in combination. They are suitable for adults and older teenagers. It is recommended to conduct training in a group.
"Greetings"
Training participants are encouraged to greet each other as is customary in different countries. For example, a handshake and eye-to-eye look from Germany, rubbing noses from Eskimos, and so on.
At the end of the exercise, it is recommended to share your impressions. This activity is especially useful in multicultural classes, groups, and teams. You can invite a representative from each culture to introduce their traditional greeting to others.
"What's in my name"
This exercise will allow you to look at yourself outside the box and teach you how to communicate with others. You need to write your name on the sheet, but backwards. Now you need to choose a word for each letter, but so that together you get some parting words, a message. If there are not enough letters in your name, you can ask someone for an extra letter. But you can’t ask for a specific one, you need to take the one they give.
"Telegram"
It is advisable to carry out the exercise in groups of at least 6 people. In each group, the initials of the participants (first and last name) are written down. The task is to compose a message from all the initials.
"Presentation"
Participants are divided into pairs. The task is to communicate with each other, and then introduce (present, describe, tell) your communication partner.
An alternative option is to first have one member of the pair tell a story about a fictional character with his real name. Then the partner tries to guess the real facts about the previous storyteller. Guess how he sees the world, what is valuable to him, what worries him, and so on. Our fantasies and fictitious stories most accurately convey the current state of our inner world. Whether we like it or not, the subconscious will take the reins. Especially when the hero of the fairy tale has the same name as ours. So all that remains is to listen carefully to your interlocutor.
"Detective"
The exercise is carried out in pairs. Participants are not allowed to talk. It is only allowed to show each other 6 (more or less) personal items. The task of the second participant in the pair is to create a description of the personality of his partner in these subjects. The partner denies or confirms the statements.
"Describe me"
Participants in pairs communicate with each other for 5 minutes. After this, they turn away from each other and write a mini-article (description), where they record the external, individual, behavioral characteristics of the partner. The partner denies or confirms the statements. The exercise develops observation, intuition, memory, empathy; improves relationships and mutual understanding of participants.
"The sun shines for those who..."
One of the participants goes to the center of the circle and says “The sun shines for those who ...” (names his advantage or disadvantage, predilection, sympathy or antipathy, and so on). If there is someone in the group with the same statement, then he goes into the circle and pronounces his statement. At the end there is reflection (which came as a surprise, what we have in common, am I happy about this).
Alternative option: the participant names the fact to himself, but in the form “those who have a sister will clap their hands.” He claps himself and looks to see who else has sisters. Statements can be very different, as can subsequent actions. The goal is to get to know each other better, find common ground, accept shortcomings, and emphasize strengths.
"Truth and lie"
Each participant writes 3 statements to himself on paper (two are true, one is false). The other participants' task is to guess what is a lie.
There are many exercises to develop tolerance. You can even invent it yourself. As you can see, their basis is the same: emphasize similarities, find and understand the beauty of differences, learn to understand others, accept yourself and others.
Tolerance (healthy, adequate) is a sign of a mature personality. It is the ability to separate tolerance (indifference) from tolerance (selectivity, respect, understanding, acceptance) that needs to be cultivated in oneself. Otherwise, the personal level of aspirations may fall so low that the person himself will not notice how he ends up at the social bottom. You can’t always endure, you need to fight for your happiness and comfort.
Tolerance determines cooperation, interaction between people, comfortable and productive coexistence, and life in the same society. The concept of tolerance cannot be replaced by the terms “indifference”, “pity”, “coercion”, “sense of duty”. You need to be tolerant consciously, without equating it with manipulation or showing off.
Basic principles
If you think about the question of what a tolerant person means, you can come to the conclusion: such a concept includes a number of qualities. In addition, you can show tolerance in completely different areas of life.
For example, politics. This is a particularly important part where tolerance must be constant. Respect and acceptance of other points of view in government, tolerance towards people with different political views. But even here it is very difficult to achieve mutual understanding. Conflict situations on this basis can flare up among friends and family. And if you are unable to accept the choice of another person, then it is best to stop such conversations as soon as they begin.
Tolerance is also necessary in science. Today, there are various theories and assumptions, everyone chooses what to believe. However, this is not a reason to ridicule and condemn others for their different view of the world.
The manifestation of this quality is indispensable for people who occupy leadership positions. They must be open-minded and ready for constructive dialogue. The ability to find common interests will help inspire the team to new achievements.
In order to understand how to raise a tolerant person, it is necessary to study in detail the entire breadth of this quality.
What should a child know about tolerance and respect for people?
Even for an adult, the topic of tolerance is quite difficult. It's even harder to talk about this with your own child.
But the longer parents put off such a conversation, the higher the likelihood that the child will form his own beliefs under the influence of society. And there is no guarantee that he will show tolerance and respect for people of other nationalities.
When starting to discuss the topic of tolerance with a child, mothers and fathers need to keep in mind the characteristics of age.
for babies to choose playmates with the same skin color as their own.
At the same time, at 3-4 years old they already begin to pay attention to racial differences. For example, a child on the street may say: “Mom, look, this boy is black!” Or: “Why does this girl have such narrow eyes?”
Advice for parents of preschoolers:
Read books and watch cartoons with your child on the topic of tolerance towards people who are somehow different from us
Discuss with your child how important it is not only to treat them with respect, but also not to be afraid to show it to others.
Here is a list of cartoons that you can watch with your preschooler.
Cartoons about racial differences:
- "Zootopia" (2016, USA).
- "Boniface's Vacation" (1965, USSR).
- “At the Port” (1975, USSR).
- “Friendship of Peoples” (2015, Russia).
Cartoons about a tolerant attitude towards children with special needs:
- “A neat story” (2014, Russia).
- “Gift” (2015, Germany).
- “About Dima” (2016, Russia).
- “Anatole’s Saucepan” (2014, France).
- “Strings” (2014, Spain).
- "Tamara" (2013, USA).
- “The Unusual Little Brother” (1995, France).
- “My brother from the moon” (2007, France).
If your child pays attention to the national or racial differences of other children, focus on this point
“Yes, this boy has really dark skin. The girl Masha from your group wears glasses, and our neighbor Asema has a narrow eye shape. We are all different, and that’s great!”
Just teach him not to speak out publicly and not to point fingers at people, this is uncivilized and impolite towards them.
It will be useful if you purchase for your child a set of dolls or figurines of different races and nationalities
And at the same time, tell us about their traditions and customs. You can also buy colorful books with pictures about the history of the peoples of the world.
Your main task is to introduce your child to a world where a huge number of people live, and they are all somehow different from each other. This will be the child’s first step on the path to kindness and a tolerant attitude towards everyone around him.
At primary school age, you can already talk with children not only about the differences between representatives of different nations and cultures, but also about the negative attitude of some people towards them - about racism and nationalism.
Advice for parents of schoolchildren:
Explain all concepts in a language that is accessible and understandable to the child.
For example:
- racism is when someone hates a person just because they have a different skin color;
- Nationalism is love for one's Motherland. But it can be both good and bad. It’s good when you are proud of your country, your people and culture, but bad is when you think that only your nation is the best and begin to hate representatives of other nations;
- Discrimination is an unfair treatment, humiliation of a person because he is somehow different from you.
Discuss the issue of tolerance and discrimination with your child in the form of an active dialogue
Ask if there are children of other nationalities or children with special needs in his class and how he feels about them. Find out whether these children are being ridiculed by their classmates and whether it is fair to humiliate people for being different from us.
Visit the festivals of national cultures taking place in your city with your son or daughter
Try traditional dishes, chat with representatives of different nations. Convey to your child that diversity makes our world richer and more amazing, and the centuries-old history of every people or culture is worthy of respect. This is what happened before us and will remain after us.
Watch movies together that focus on race.
Discuss with your child what solution he sees to this issue and whether it is worth fighting discrimination at all.
Movies for family viewing:
- “Just Mercy” (2019, USA).
- “Fences” (2016, USA).
- “Alien Hate” (2018, USA).
- "Green Book" (2018, USA).
- "Skin" (2008, UK).
By adolescence, children begin to form their own beliefs and values, often under the influence of peers and public sentiment.
Unfortunately, many begin to hold discriminatory views regarding both national and other differences between people. Intolerance can develop into bullying and humiliation, and from here it is not far to nationalistic beliefs.
Tips for parents of teenagers:
- Show your child your clear position on racism and nationalism.
- Pay attention to your teenager's extracurricular life. As a rule, those children who have neither hobbies nor interests join nationalist groups.
- Teach your son or daughter not to stand aside, help the weak, and be sure to report cases of violence and bullying to adults.
Types of tolerance
Above we got acquainted with the areas of application. But tolerance can be divided into several types, applying the concept to a person’s personality. This is dividing it from a psychological point of view.
The very first manifestations of tolerance are inherent in us from birth. This is a natural human quality that allows a child to accept his parents as they are. He does not understand what is good and what is bad in adult behavior. In infancy, social skills have not yet been formed; the formation of one’s own personality is just beginning. On the one hand, this is a convenient and necessary way to help you feel protected, but in special cases, the negative influence of the family can harm the baby’s psyche.
With development and maturation, experience accumulates and the moral side of the issue appears. Quite often, a tolerant person restrains his emotions and suppresses them within himself. How often do moments arise when we have to endure people whose opinions fundamentally do not coincide with ours. This is one of the main problems of modern society - non-acceptance of each other, but only an external manifestation of understanding.
The most developed quality is moral tolerance. This is the ability not only to accept other people's views, but also your own. Don’t be afraid to show them, believe in your own rightness.
Origin of the term
The term “tolerance” is borrowed from medicine, where it means the body getting used to something, increasing resistance, reducing the protective function. For example, in the context of considering the problem of alcoholism, the concept of “increasing the body’s tolerance to alcohol” is used - an increase in the dose tolerated by the body without serious consequences. That is, a weakening of the immune response to some aggressor.
In medicine, a constant increase in tolerance inevitably leads a living organism to death due to the completely lost ability to fight irritants and produce protective antibodies. Literally, “tolerance” is translated from Latin as “endure, get used to.”
With medicine, everything is clear: tolerance does not promise anything good, it is a bad phenomenon. What does psychology say about this? Why do we love to cultivate tolerance in children and what do we mean by this concept? In psychology and sociology, tolerance means tolerance for a different way of life, different needs of people, a different worldview, behavior, customs, traditions, habits, and faith. “We are all people, and we are equal to each other!” - the motto of the classical idea of tolerance.
At the present stage of development of society, tolerance is no longer interpreted so clearly:
- The ability to come to terms with unpleasant beliefs and actions of other people that are different from ours.
- Psychological stability in difficult life situations.
- Recognition, respect, understanding and acceptance of the cultural diversity of society, individual and personal characteristics of people (the classic idea of tolerance within the framework of many nations, cultures, faiths, health, and so on).
- Tolerance for everything that happens in society.
- “This is his life. Let him do what he wants. It doesn’t bother me and that’s okay.”
Unfortunately, tolerance in the modern concept is increasingly being approached by the term “indifference” (a decrease or complete disappearance of emotional and behavioral mental response to external unfavorable factors). We have learned so well to recognize the rights of other people, to accept any way of life, that we have become tolerant of maniacs, alcoholics, fights under the windows of the house, children wandering, rudeness, and hooliganism.
I understand that your life is always more valuable. Moreover, as a rule, it is connected with several more lives. But in my opinion, the medical concept of tolerance is now applicable in psychology. Interestingly, even in official documents at the federal and national levels, the term “tolerance” has recently been replaced with the term “tolerance.” Isn't it dangerous to be tolerant?
How to develop tolerance?
What a tolerant person means is very well described by the domestic teacher Vulfov. In his understanding, this is a person capable of harmoniously coexisting with other people who have their own mentality and lead a different way of life.
In the modern world, the aspect of cultivating a tolerant and respectful attitude towards other cultures is becoming increasingly clear. This requires special attention and a detailed approach. For good interethnic communication, it is necessary to understand and accept the characteristics of other peoples and at the same time respect one’s historical values.
Firstly, it is necessary to teach a calm attitude towards other cultures and movements. At the same time, a person must be able to analyze and highlight points that differ from general standards, and distinguish between both positive and negative details. Secondly, you need to constantly learn, develop, and get to know the world. Learn new cultures and rules. Thirdly, it is necessary to appreciate the achievements of other people.
The main thing to understand is that there are differences, and that's not a bad thing.
Example of a negative point
An example where tolerance led to negative consequences is the resettlement of some refugees from Arab countries to civilized European cities. The problem is that they came to “someone else’s monastery with their own rules.” Their cultural values, inherent in underdeveloped countries, contradict the values of civilized countries and act as a kind of atavism, a relic of the past, savagery. The list of such values includes various medieval rituals (sacrifice, brutal battles, etc.) or rude, sometimes violent, treatment of women.
The most important and surprising thing is that refugees demand to be tolerant of their way of life, absolutely not accepting and condemning the value system of the country that gave them shelter. In this example, you can see a situation where unreasonable tolerance of a different way of life led to negative consequences and the emergence of new difficulties.
How to distinguish a tolerant person?
Every day we communicate with a lot of people: family, friends, colleagues, random passers-by, store clerks. Have you ever wondered which of them has this quality? Let's try to answer the question: what is a tolerant person?
It is worth noting that the main acceptance is personal. If your acquaintance or friend knows how to take responsibility for his actions and in difficult situations does not shift the blame to others, then his internal tolerance is working. Such a person understands perfectly well that “I am the ideal” and “I am the real” are often two different things. An adequate assessment of one’s own personality, a critical attitude towards oneself - these are the foundations of a tolerant person.
In addition, such people are always open to new things. They are sociable and non-aggressive. They are interested in the world in all its manifestations. Such people do not divide everything into black and white, but are willing to put others into perspective. These are independent and strong individuals who know how to work for results. They are not alien to a sense of humor, this is especially evident in the opportunity to laugh at their own shortcomings, which no one is deprived of.
What does lack of tolerance lead to?
Tolerance involves respecting and understanding that other people's lives may be different from our own, just like their opinions, personality traits and appearance. We may have different opinions, beliefs, and disagree with what they think is right. And despite this, we want to be accepted, valued and respected in the same way.
Denial, disapproval and other manifestations of discrimination, for example, based on nationality, gender and political views lead first to conflicts and then to larger unrest, chaos and even massacres.
Lack of tolerance breeds hatred. Hatred leads to mistrust. Mistrust breeds fragmentation. Tolerance allows people of different backgrounds, religions and beliefs to work and live together, and this promotes greater efficiency and creates unity. Where there is discrimination, there can be no peace. Lack of tolerance leads to conflict, violence and instability
How to identify a person who does not have tolerance?
From what you have read above, it is easy enough to conclude what the antipode is. People who are selfish, narcissistic, with a strong belief in their own ideality are not tolerant. They are not used to losing and if they lose, they blame everyone but themselves.
Society causes them fears and fears. Everyone seems to be an enemy who is up to something dastardly. In this regard, communication with such people is quite difficult. They are reserved and taciturn. In any situation, no matter how it turns out, they do not see their own influence. It seems to them that nothing depends on them. Any assessment is based on the personal “I”. Such people have difficulty accepting democracy; strict control is preferable to them.
With age, it becomes more and more difficult to develop the qualities of a tolerant person, so attention should be paid to this from birth.
conclusions
From everything said above, it is clear what tolerance is and what the meaning of the word is. A tolerant person does not have any narrow definitions. These are psychological, moral, ethical standards. This quality is inherent in everyone from birth, but can be lost. A warm, respectful atmosphere in the family is the basis on which further education is built.
For the world to acquire new shades for us, to sparkle with all the colors of the rainbow, we need to open our mind and soul, we need to believe in ourselves and in others.
