What age is a teenager? Physiological and psychological characteristics of adolescence

• November 7, 2019
• Psychology of Personality
• Angelica Braldi

Quite often, adults justify a child’s behavior and actions with the phrase: “He’s a teenager.” “What age is this?” — a similar question arises for everyone who faces difficulties in communicating with children. Really, who can be considered a teenager? A 16-year-old “minor” rebelling against everything in the world? Or an 11-year-old child defending his right to hang out with friends until late?

Every parent needs to know what exactly they are facing. With difficulties caused by growing up, restructuring of the body, or the most common hooliganism. Understanding these nuances is necessary in order to correctly structure your behavior in relation to the child’s actions. It will not be superfluous to know what exactly is meant in psychology by the concept of “adolescence.”

What it is?

At the beginning of the last century, the word “teenager” was almost never used; people usually said “youth.” However, after the revolution, they tried not to utter this word because it reeked of the bygone past. Now “youth” is associated with religion, the speeches of priests, and in everyday life the “teenager” and the English synonym “teenager” are used.

The scientific concept of “adolescence” appeared at the end of the 19th century. This happened largely due to the manifestation of interest in the problems of youth on the part of writers, philosophers, and thinkers of that time. For example, Dostoevsky in his novel “The Adolescent” describes the problems characteristic of youth no worse than psychologists do.

What is it? According to scientific definition, this is a specific age period in a person’s life. It is a transition between childhood and adulthood. Accordingly, it is characterized by many changes occurring both in physiology and in human consciousness.

Note to parents

Don't be afraid of adolescence. This is an inevitable stage in the life of every person. And if you want to soften this time, try to understand why the child acts this way and not otherwise. The psychology of a teenager may seem strange and unpredictable to you, but this is absolutely not the case. Only you are capable, like no one else, of understanding your child and helping him overcome this period. For him it is perhaps even harder than for you. After all, a teenager is just beginning to understand himself and those around him, and all changes are complex and incomprehensible to him.

When does it start and end?

What age is a teenager? Modern science does not give a clear answer to this question. The following factors influence the scope of this period:

• the country or region in which the child lives;
• nationality and gender;
• cultural characteristics;
• social conditions.

In general, the maximum period of adolescence is the age from 10 to 19 years. Of course, not every person on the threshold of their twenties is a teenager, and not every child begins to grow up from the tenth year of life. On average, a teenager is considered a person between the ages of 12 and 17 years. However, the age at which a child is considered a teenager depends on the individual characteristics of his development.

From child to teenager

At each stage, new and interesting features await both the child and his parents. Often, the older generation is frightened or alarmed by the child’s behavior, and they do not even understand what should be done or where to turn. Therefore, it will be useful for them to know about age-related changes that occur with every person. And also understand how the psychology of a teenager at 13 years old and 16 years old differs.

How is the period of growing up divided?

As for dividing the period of growing up into separate stages, the United Nations has adopted the following classification:

• early – from 10 to 14;
• late – from 14 to 19.

This is the division that is followed in most countries, and it is generally accepted and international.

Of course, there are other options for dividing growing up into separate stages. For example, in the Soviet Union it was believed that early adolescence was 12-14 years old, and late adolescence was 15-17.

The danger of being outcast

It is adolescence that manifests itself with all its force into intolerance and unwillingness to help someone who is very different. If a teenager has problems with appearance, expect trouble. There will definitely be those who will laugh, others will support “for the company.”

Such problems are not uncommon among teenagers. They are an important psychological characteristic of adolescence. Due to rapid hormonal changes in the body, 12-14 year olds often develop skin diseases and excess weight. Boys suffer from uncontrollable erections.

Becoming an outcast is very dangerous for a teenager. Everything can end not only in isolation, depression, neuroses, but even in real tragedy - a suicide attempt.

Remember! Boys' adolescence is more turbulent. They get out of hand more often than girls. Teenage boys are characterized by extreme self-confidence and the desire to contrast their own views with the opinions of others. However, contradictions remain. Individualism and isolation strangely coexist with conformism and dependence on the opinion of “one’s own” group.

Teenage boys more often begin to become very interested in something - they become “nerds”, athletes, musicians. At the same time, the teenager greatly exaggerates his own capabilities. A 12-year-old boy is endowed with the finest psychology. It's easy to break it.

What is happening in the psychology of teenagers? Main features

The psychological characteristics of adolescents are inextricably linked with the changes occurring in their body and mind. This is an extremely controversial time, filled with rapidly occurring changes that yesterday’s children cannot always cope with.

The main features of psychology at this age correlate with adulthood. This is the tendency towards her and her feeling. It is generally accepted that younger teenagers tend to mature. For those who are older, accordingly, a feeling, a sense of their own adulthood, is characteristic.

It is what a teenager feels that determines his behavior, manner of speaking, and actions.

Useful hobbies

A teenager, no matter how much he rebels, still subconsciously continues to imitate his parents in many ways and maintains a spiritual connection. This feature of the teenager’s psyche needs to be used and interested in a useful activity. Teenagers are addicted people, it’s not difficult to do this. Depending on the child’s character and abilities, he may like:

• active team sports. Teenagers love group recognition. And where, if not in basketball, football, volleyball is it easiest to win it? Plus, team sports are a great way to “dump” excess hormones;
• for those who like to create with their hands, modeling is suitable;
• Teenagers with leadership abilities and a desire to serve society can try to become a member of a youth organization based on their interests. There the child will learn to interact “constructively” in a large group, make a feasible contribution to the common cause, and lead;
• for girls, courses on makeup, hairstyles, and clothing design are suitable;
• Teenagers who love to share their own experiences with others can be helped to become video bloggers.

The tendency to grow older - what is it?

The first main feature of the psychology of a teenager is the tendency towards adulthood. What does this mean? The fact that a teenager wants to be an adult and strives to demonstrate this by all possible means.

It is in the presence of a tendency, but in the absence of awareness, a sense of adulthood, that teenagers begin to be rude, break established rules and generally rebel. This psychological stage is characterized by awareness of rights to something with a complete absence of a sense of responsibility.

How to behave correctly with a teenager?

It is important to maintain a middle ground between “freedom and necessity.” Doesn't become a dictator giving commands. The main thing is that such tactics are completely ineffective, because a teenager is not a small child for whom parents are the highest authority.

Firstly, the teenager may obey, but reluctantly. And secondly, a teenager who is accustomed to obeying his parents will not learn to independently look for solutions to problems and will not acquire leadership qualities.

However, it is also impossible to give a teenager unlimited freedom. Otherwise, the teenager will have problems with a sense of responsibility. Parents must clearly outline the boundaries of what is permitted. It is important that the teenager agrees with these limits, accepts them, and understands why they are needed.

At the same time, parents should take into account the interests of the child and rudely not impose their own understanding of boundaries. It is stupid, for example, to try to prove that littering in your own room is a “crime.” A teenager perceives the mess “in his native territory” differently than his relatives. In his mind, it doesn’t fit in any way with the “mess in his head.” The teenager simply believes that he has the right to decide for himself whether to clean the room or not. For him, it is a matter of personal choice, not “morality.” This often manifests itself in adolescents aged 15 and is more typical for the psychology of boys.

Feeling of adulthood: how is it characterized?

When adults ask the question: “What age is a teenager?” - then, as a rule, they just want to know when their child will calm down and become sweet, kind and good again. However, teenagers stop being hooligans and being rude not at all when adolescence ends, but at the moment when in their minds the tendency to grow up changes to a feeling. That is, as soon as a teenager gains a sense of adulthood, his behavior changes radically.

How is this feeling characterized? First of all, awareness of responsibility for one’s own actions and words. Secondly, an understanding of the value of things and the meaning of money appears. Teenagers no longer just want to be a hooligan and rebel against existing rules; they are trying to earn extra money and save pocket money to buy something. They are also more consistent in their wishes for holiday gifts to parents.

At what age do children become teenagers with a sense of adulthood, rather than a tendency towards it? There is no answer to this question. Personality development occurs individually and largely depends on the conditions in which the child lives.

A more critical perception of one’s own actions, interest in “global” problems

14-15 year old teenagers begin to leave the small world of subjective perception of reality and evaluate their own actions more critically. Teenagers already know how to put off pleasure “for later” and understand that benefits must be earned. There is less egocentrism in actions.

Many “almost adults” are beginning to become interested in global issues, trying to understand why some countries are more successful than others, how the economy works. This helps to “reconcile” with parents, who can regain authority if they are well versed in such issues. Moreover, a 15–16-year-old teenager already thinks less categorically and is ready to treat opposing opinions more calmly.

How does physiology change?

Teenagers aged 12-16 not only behave differently, but also look differently. What is happening in their body? The body begins to mature and change in the same way as consciousness. Some changes happen gradually, while others seem to appear out of nowhere, frightening teenagers.

During the transition period, puberty begins and ends. At this time, girls begin their periods and the menstrual cycle is established. Young men experience wet dreams and spontaneous erections occur. Of course, secondary sexual characteristics also appear.

In addition to changes associated with the reproductive system, other processes are also taking place. The voice changes, body hair appears. A new hormonal balance is established inside the body, and metabolism also changes. The physiological characteristics of adolescents are that a large number of different processes simultaneously take place in their bodies, which can negatively affect the functionality of internal organs. For example, heart rhythm may be disturbed, intestinal upset or renal dysfunction may occur periodically. However, the most common disorder is fat metabolism, which causes the hair to become greasy and the face to become covered with acne.

But if there is a hereditary tendency to serious diseases during adolescence, one should exercise increased caution and undergo regular medical examinations.

Socio-psychological features of the development of adolescents aged 12-14 years.

Socio-psychological features of the development of adolescents aged 12-14 years.

The purpose of this paragraph is to reveal the socio-psychological characteristics of adolescents aged 12-14 years. A modern teenager lives in a world that is complex in its content and socialization trends. This is due, firstly, to the pace and rhythm of technical and technological transformations, which impose new demands on growing people. Secondly, with the rich nature of information that deeply affects a teenager who has not yet developed a clear position in life. Thirdly, due to the environmental and economic crises that have affected our society, which causes feelings of hopelessness and irritation in children. The tense, unstable social, economic, environmental, and ideological situation that currently exists in our society determines the growth of various deviations in the personal development and behavior of growing people. Among them, particular concern is caused not only by the progressive alienation, increased anxiety, and spiritual emptiness of children, but also by their cynicism, cruelty, and aggressiveness. This process manifests itself most acutely at the turn of the child’s transition from childhood to adulthood—in adolescence [33].

Young people rapidly develop a sense of protest, often unconscious, and at the same time their individualization grows, which, with the loss of extra-social interest, leads to selfishness. Teenagers, more than other age groups, suffer from the instability of the social, economic and moral situation in the country, having today lost the necessary orientation in values ​​and ideals - the old ones are destroyed, the new ones are not created. Thus, today in our society there is a serious lack of positive influence on growing children[4].

As a rule, at this age teenagers have problems with adults, in particular with their parents. Parents continue to look at their child as if he were small, and he is trying to break out of this care. Therefore, relationships are usually characterized by increased conflict, criticality towards the opinions of adults increases, but at the same time the opinions of peers become more significant. The nature of relationships with elders changes: from a position of subordination, the teenager tries to move to a position of equality[8].

The gap of misunderstanding between parents and children is becoming wider and wider every day. Children who have not received attention, affection, or upbringing in their family strive to communicate with their peers, in yard companies, who do not always prefer to devote their free time to some useful activity. As a result, children left to their own devices neglect their studies and devote their free time to the street and aimless pastime [25].

A teenager often does not meet the requirements that society places on him; he is not ready to fulfill certain social roles to the extent that others expect from him. In turn, he believes that he is not receiving from society what he has the right to expect. The contradiction between the biological and social immaturity of adolescents, on the one hand, and the demands of society, on the other, serves as a real source of deviation[5].

To solve the problems of adolescents and provide them with assistance, it is necessary to know the psychological characteristics of adolescents of our time. When constructing preventive work with children, it is necessary to proceed from the position that the effectiveness of any influence - social, psychological or pedagogical - largely depends on knowledge, understanding and accurate definition of the personality characteristics of adolescents. Since my research concerns minors, it is worthwhile to dwell in more detail on issues of adolescence.

Let us recall some information from anatomy and physiology, psychology and pedagogy that characterize the personality of a teenager. The anatomical and physiological characteristics of a teenager are characterized by the unevenness of his physical development, improvement of the muscular system, and the process of skeletal ossification. Adolescents have a pronounced instability of the nervous system, which is not always able to withstand strong or prolonged stimuli, which causes a state of extreme excitement or inhibition, leading to hot temper, apathy, etc. Active puberty of a teenager occurs with a noticeable lag in the social development of the teenager, which entails socio-psychological problems of sex education[13].

At the same time, the nature of relationships with peers also changes, the need for communication for the purpose of self-affirmation appears, which in unfavorable conditions can lead to various forms of deviant behavior. The teenager develops a sense of adulthood, which manifests itself through the desire for independence and independence, protest against the desire of adults to teach him.

Appearance is very important for a teenager. An unusual hairstyle, an earring, or even two or three in the ears, torn jeans, bright cosmetics and other attributes give a teenager the opportunity to separate himself from others and establish himself in a group of children.

The transition period is like a litmus test, revealing all the vices of society. Adolescence is one of the most difficult periods of human development. Despite its relative short duration, it practically largely determines the entire future life of an individual. It is also called adolescence, because during this period there is a peculiar transition from childhood to adulthood, from immaturity to maturity, which permeates all aspects of the development of a teenager: anatomical and physiological structure, intellectual, moral development, as well as various types of his activities[ 22].

During adolescence, the living conditions and activities of a teenager seriously change, which in turn leads to a restructuring of the psyche and the emergence of new forms of interaction between peers. The teenager’s social status, position, position in the team changes, he begins to face more serious demands from adults

Many teenagers have a clear dissonance between physical and social development. Some aspects of mental development do not keep pace with accelerated physical development; childish interests and instability in the expression of emotions, suggestibility, susceptibility to other people’s influence, an undeveloped sense of responsibility and duty, intricately intertwined with external apparent adulthood, may persist [23].

Adolescents with deviant behavior often exhibit a range of characteristics that indicate significant emotional disturbances. Deviant adolescents are characterized by such features as increased anxiety, defectiveness of the entire system, especially in the area of ​​goals and meaning in life. They are, as a rule, impulsive, irritable, quick-tempered, aggressive, and conflictual, which makes it difficult for them to communicate with others and creates significant difficulties in their upbringing.

For a full-fledged existence, a teenager needs constant resistance (environmental factors, internal conditions) to his aspirations to satisfy his own needs, since such resistance provides the phenomenon of actual well-being and creates opportunities for development. On the other hand, overcoming resistance to satisfying a particular need always causes tension, which, in the absence of an appropriate emotional-volitional resource, leads to destructive effects: conflicts, stress, aggression, deviations[22].

The development of personality during adolescence and its future prospects depend on how a teenager responds to the demands placed on him, what methods and styles of behavior he manifests and consolidates.

Despite the fact that the crisis of adolescence is described quite fully in the psychological literature, it is this age that is considered the most problematic. At this age, children are less predictable; they are more likely to commit actions that go beyond social norms. Thus, we can highlight the characteristic features of adolescence: emotional immaturity, insufficiently developed ability to control one’s own behavior, balance desires and opportunities in meeting one’s needs, increased suggestibility, the desire to assert oneself and become an adult [17].

The main psychological new formation in adolescence is the development in a teenager of a special sense of adulthood, as an individual experience of relating to oneself as an adult. Physical maturity gives a teenager a feeling of adulthood, but his social status at school and family does not change. And then a struggle arises for the recognition of personal rights and independence, which inevitably leads to conflict between adults and adolescents.

The psychological characteristics of adolescence, when they are sharply expressed, are called the adolescent complex. The essence of the adolescent complex consists of certain adolescent reactions characteristic of this age to the influence of the surrounding social environment. These include reactions: hobbies, emancipation, grouping with peers.

• Hobby reaction - most teenagers have various interests and hobbies. They may be stable, for example, playing sports, but they may not be stable, when a teenager is interested in one thing or another. For some, their hobbies are related to the desire to be the center of attention. Some choose sophisticated, unusual hobbies to stand out among their peers. In most cases, there is no pathology in this; over time, these hobbies pass or persist, but do not have a negative impact on the behavior of the teenager. Pathology is overly expressed hobbies, when because of them a teenager abandons schoolwork and devotes all his time to them. It happens that in order to pursue a hobby, a teenager commits illegal actions, for example, petty theft, speculation, or may become involved with antisocial individuals.
• Emancipation reaction - this reaction is manifested by the desire to free oneself from the tutelage, guidance, control, patronage of elders - relatives, teachers, educators, mentors, representatives of the older generation in general. This is a struggle for one’s independence, independence, self-affirmation. Briefly, this phenomenon can be characterized as a powerful desire for autonomy, distance from family and adults, and getting rid of care. The street gives this freedom or illusion of freedom. The reaction can extend to the orders, rules, laws established by the older generation, to everything that is accepted by them, that is respected and valued, i.e. for all “standards” and “values”.
• Reaction of grouping with peers - this reaction is manifested in the desire of adolescents to form more or less stable spontaneous groups in which certain informal relationships are established, have their own leaders and performers, and there is a more or less natural distribution of roles, which is most often based on the individual personality characteristics of adolescents .

Adolescent reactions can be either normal behavior or represent pathological disorders. Behavioral reactions become pathological if they spread beyond the boundaries of the situation and microgroup where they arose, if they complicate or disrupt social adaptation [16].

All of them are fixed in the character traits of a teenager and are difficult to be influenced by pedagogy. The difficulties that social educators and psychologists face are that pedagogically neglected children do not believe that generally accepted norms and rules should be followed, and do not want to understand that eliminating the shortcomings that prevent them from becoming a respected person will allow them to become individuals.

The communication that develops between social teachers and adolescents with deviant behavior is sparing and one-sided in content, poor in positive emotional connotations, and is usually accompanied by negative reactions. The actions of such teenagers, manifested in rudeness and fighting, are their reaction to the difficulties of self-affirmation and manifest themselves as a negative means of gaining a worthy place in the team[15].

Many teenagers with deviant behavior have a different attitude towards a person’s work activity as a member of society than teenagers living in families with a prosperous climate. Quite often, such teenagers cannot tell about the place of work or position of their parents. In this case, we can assume that they do not have information, and that they are guilty of parents who negligently fulfill their civic duties, as well as their behavior negatively influencing the upbringing of teenagers and allowing immoral acts, etc. This is what distinguishes teenagers with deviant behavior. This characterizing feature, in combination with a number of other factors, determines the perverted understanding of such teenagers of the meaning of human life and socially useful work as a source of material well-being and human happiness. From the above it follows that adolescence is characterized by a noticeable drop in intensity in the level of communication of a teenager in the family. This is most clearly observed in families where teenagers have deviant behavior, and it is due to the characteristics of their age:

- desire to be independent;

— the desire to find new friends and new areas of communication;

- loss of authority by some parents due to the growing criticality of the teenager.

A teenager's lack of moral principles is formed under the influence of the stingy and limited spiritual life of his parents and the underdevelopment of their political and general theoretical horizons. This limits the development of the emotional and cognitive needs of a teenager, narrows the range of his interests, judgments and views, since parents do little to educate and develop their children in various issues of science, art, literature, history, pedagogy and psychology. This contributes to the growth of a teenager’s lack of moral and aesthetic analysis of the surrounding realities, switches his consciousness to asocial views, anti-aesthetic tastes, and forms philistine interests, habits and ideas that are undesirable. It is important to note that for some adolescents, deviations in moral development arise in stages, which largely overlaps with their age characteristics[5].

If children had not emerged from the period of childish and unconditional submission to the authority of parents and adults, then the age-related characteristics of adolescents would not have become the subject of separate study and understanding. Around the age of 12-14, children cease to be children, in terms of obedience and an accommodating attitude towards adults. Yesterday's children become centers of conflict at school, among yesterday's friends and in the family. It should be noted that the age characteristics of younger adolescents do not always provoke any complications at school, among friends or at home. But, more often, the age-related characteristics of adolescence cause many problems with their negative manifestations to everyone who is directly related to the period of adolescence growing up [12].

So, we can conclude that a teenager with deviant behavior has the following socio-psychological characteristics:

• rejection of pedagogical influences;
• inability to overcome difficulties;
• over tension;
• desire for independence;
• exposure to other people's influence;
• aggressiveness.

These features of adolescent development are not always pleasant for adults and sometimes lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, and mutual insults. Meanwhile, for this age they are completely natural. A specialist who deals with difficult teenagers must have this information. Knowing the psychological characteristics that provoke the causes, the social teacher will be able to build both preventive and corrective work with adolescents. Without knowledge of these characteristics, it is impossible to adequately influence adolescents and try to interact with them. In adolescence, due to the complexity and inconsistency of the characteristics of growing people, the internal and external conditions of their development, situations may arise that disrupt the normal course of personal development, creating objective prerequisites for the emergence and manifestation of various forms of behavioral disorders.

What are the features of mental development during adolescence?

What age is a teenager in terms of mental development? What is its importance? Unfortunately, many parents do not realize that during adolescence, not only the male or female nature is formed, but also the human psyche.

Psychologists identify three key, main characteristics of the transition period:

• social development;
• activity;
• neoplasms.

Social development in this age period primarily refers to communication with peers. If in childhood a person’s priority was the opinion of his parents, grandparents, and teachers, then in adolescence the situation changes. The most important thing at this age is the opinion of peers and slightly older children. It is their approval that a teenager seeks.

What is meant by activity? Psychological processes occurring during everyday activities. For example, at school a teenager compares himself with others, and he forms an idea of ​​his own personality. When mastering a subject, a teenager no longer evaluates it at the level of interest, but from the point of view of whether he is ready to do it or not.

Neoplasms are all those mental processes that were not characteristic of a child, but appeared in the mind of a teenager. That is, they should include both interest in the opposite sex and an understanding of the value of things and money.

Communication is the main value

In the company of friends, a teenager truly socializes independently for the first time, occupying a certain place in a youth group, meeting peers of the opposite sex. Often the opinions of friends become very important. If friends drink alcohol, the teenager is ashamed to remain sober. However, the teenager is characterized by strong inconstancy, constantly searching for his own identity. Friends, companies, passions, idols can change often. And this is one of the features of adolescence, the psychology of a teenager.

Teenage angst

Specific fears are also age-related characteristics. In older adolescence, children tend to be afraid of the following:

• don't be yourself;
• failures, failures, incidents;
• punishment and condemnation from peers;
• physical imperfection or deformity;
• loneliness;
• lack of prospects and opportunities for self-realization.

Each of these fears is inherent to all teenagers to one degree or another. The task of parents is not to dissuade the teenager, but not to fix his attention on a specific experience, not to turn youthful fear into a phobia.

It is quite paradoxical that at the stage of early adolescence, teenagers have almost no fear of independent life, but, on the contrary, strive for it in every possible way. However, as soon as the tendency towards adulthood changes to her feeling, this fear immediately arises.

Teenagers are no longer children, but they cannot be considered adults either. This statement is true both in relation to the psyche and in matters of physiology and social skills.

What to do if your child is going through a teenage crisis?

Despite the fact that parents of teenagers are very worried about their children, no specific treatment will be needed. You need to turn to specialists when a teenager’s behavior gets out of control, which can affect the development of his personality in later life.

Advice from psychologists to parents of teenage children:

1. Try to find compromises. Communicate more with your children to understand how and what they live with. Look for common interests, because you probably have something to talk about over a cup of tea.
2. Try to stick to general family rules, such as having dinner together at a large table.
3. It is important for parents to adhere to these rules, otherwise the teenager will quickly understand what can be broken.
4. Discuss all important family matters with your children. Be interested in their opinion, listen to it, so that teenagers realize that their word means something.
5. Don't get upset, talk calmly, be patient.
6. Try to become interested in your son/daughter's hobbies. Let's say your son is into hard rock.
7. Listen to the concert of your favorite artist with him, do not criticize, do not speak negatively. Respect your child's interests!
8. Praise for every achievement, say that you are proud of your son/daughter’s success. No matter what, it is important for a child at any age to hear words of praise from their parents.
9. Spend more time with your teenager. Forget about household chores, go shopping, sit in a cafe together, discuss the news, have a heart-to-heart talk. It is very important for children to feel the emotional and physical closeness of their parents, so take the time to spend some time together.
10. Try to remain an authority figure for your child, while maintaining friendly relations. In adolescence, it is so important that parents understand and accept the position of their children.
11. Ask teachers and school psychologists more often about your children’s affairs.

How to talk to a teenager?

Many teenagers tell psychologists that they would like to spend more time talking with their parents. But they “don’t hear” them and condemn their hobbies and lifestyle. And therefore there is no desire to communicate. So you need to try to understand the hobbies of your children. Even when their addictions make you sick.

Denying reality is absolutely useless. But if you accept the child’s interests, you can gradually establish contact. Then the child will pay more attention to what interests you.

When something makes you angry, starting to attack the child and condemning is the most losing strategy. So, as soon as you turn a teenager against you, he will no longer have the desire to seek advice. Of course, judge, but indirectly, find a convenient moment. For example, you can first praise the child for something, show your affection, and then move on to gentle criticism and wishes. Also, from time to time (without intrusiveness), remind them that you are ready to listen and help. Then the child will understand: he has reliable support. He will be less likely to seek outside support.

Remember! Parents should always be prepared to accept the specific style of communication characteristic of teenagers (especially boys) - not to be surprised by sarcasm, ridicule, rudeness, and monosyllabic answers. What is important here is patience, understanding that until the teenager begins to completely trust, he will not begin to talk normally.