- September 21, 2018
- Life style
- Ksenga
Fear of change is a completely natural state for any person. It's scary to try something new and take actions that you have never done before in your life. But you need to understand that if you live in comfortable conditions, you will not have an incentive for self-improvement. How to change your life and do it without fear - read below.
Understand the reasons for fear
Are you afraid to leave your comfort zone? It's quite normal. To overcome inner unrest, you need to understand the cause of your fears. What are the most common reasons?
- Rumors of change. A person who has heard about the failures of others will think that misfortune will befall him too if he tries to improve his existence. Everyone knows that the best is the enemy of the good. People are afraid of losing what they have and not getting what they dream of.
- Lack of self-confidence. People with low self-esteem are afraid to change their lives because they think that they won’t succeed. Is this logical? There is no point in being afraid of the future. If you don't try to improve your existence, you will regret missed opportunities all your life.
- Uncertainty about the future. Stability seduces many people. A comfortable life allows a person to make plans for the future. If a person does not have stability, he is afraid that things will get worse. Uncertainty is scary.
- Disregard for values. A person is afraid to change and change his worldview. But if you stand in one place all the time, you will not develop in any way. Don't be afraid to lose yourself. There is no need to compromise your values, but from time to time you just need to reconsider your views on this life.
Signs of neophobia
Neophobes are afraid of the uncertainty that awaits them after some important event in life or some difficult situation. Signs of neophobia appear before a certain event, in restless anticipation of changes in life. In addition to the feeling of fear itself, which a person can define himself, signs of such a condition can also be somatic in nature. The most common symptoms of neophobia are:
- increased blood pressure;
- the appearance of shortness of breath;
- muscle weakness;
- absent-mindedness;
- loss of concentration;
- increased sweating.
In addition, often as a result of neophobia, a person’s fingertips go numb, the body temperature rises, he feels dizzy and has a headache, and has digestive problems. To determine the main reasons for the appearance of such signs, you will have to overcome many doubts about whether all these symptoms are signs of other diseases of a viral or infectious nature.
Manifestations of neophobia
A good example of neophobia is anticipating the birth of a child. From the time a girl finds out that she is pregnant, she immediately begins to “try on” new roles, personal and social. But most often, if the pregnancy was unplanned, the woman experiences fear that her life will no longer be the same. Fear of uncertainty, a new and unfamiliar future, leads to stress, which manifests itself as follows: mood swings, aggression, desire to abandon the child, etc. This condition can even cause a nervous breakdown.
Overcome childhood fears
Why do some people constantly mark time in one place? Children's fears and complexes imposed by parents prevent people from moving forward. Why are some people constantly haunted by the fear of changes in life? Psychologists say that we need to reconsider our attitude towards this world. Childhood fears imposed by your parents prevent you from moving on. Take time to work through your inner state. Sit down and think about what complexes your parents imposed on you. Are you afraid to communicate with people? Are you afraid of becoming successful or do you think that you are a failure? Is this so? No. You have achieved a lot in life. Write down on a piece of paper all your successes that you have achieved. After reading the impressive list, you will realize that you have already learned a lot, and a bright future is just around the corner. You just need to get rid of the internal frames. It is advisable to say goodbye to them forever. Do you consider yourself a failure? Day after day, instill in yourself the idea that you are a successful person with a strong inner core. You will be able to achieve everything you want. Self-hypnosis works wonders. Change your negative thoughts to positive ones and you will see how your life changes for the better.
Types of phobias
Types of neophobia:
- technophobia - fear of new technologies;
- Gnosiophobia - fear of knowledge and new information;
- futurophobia - fear of the future;
- ergasiophobia - fear of committing actions;
- food neophobia - fear of new foods.
Often, fear of change overcomes an individual in the process of performing his professional duties. People are afraid to enter into a new contract, change their usual business routine, or the algorithm of work responsibilities. Typically, employees who perform their duties for a long time according to established instructions suffer from this phobia.
Fear of change is a mental disorder that prevents a person from achieving high goals and leading an active lifestyle. People who are afraid of everything new have a boring and monotonous life. They are passive, do not trust anyone, and are prone to excessive anxiety and excessive worry. People get hung up on some of their own invented limitations, independently slow down their progress, miss the opportunity to transform their lives, make it richer, better and more comfortable.
The tendency to neophobia only increases with age. Most often it occurs in people over 45 years of age. Children suffer from this disorder extremely rarely.
Don't beat yourself up
Fear of change haunts those people who constantly beat themselves up. Stop doing this. Do you want to change your job? Don’t frighten yourself with the thought that your colleagues won’t accept you in your new place, and no one will be able to appreciate your potential. You haven't made an attempt yet, and until you do, nothing can be said with certainty. You need to think only about the good and not assume the worst possible scenarios. If you constantly set yourself up for negativity, then in the end you will get what you were afraid of. And this is not even the power of thought in action. The inner attitude works this way. You potentially want to receive the life scenario that is scrolling through your head. For example, if you are afraid of not fitting into a new team, you will behave separately at your new place of work, and, of course, your colleagues will be suspicious of you. You should change your attitudes to positive ones and think that everything will be fine. Then you will be friendly towards new people and will quickly be able to win their favor.
We simultaneously want change and strive for stability
Human nature is extremely contradictory: on the one hand, we strive for progress because it brings with it new opportunities and improvements.
On the other hand, we subconsciously strive for stability; we may associate change with the abandonment of something time-tested and, therefore, obviously good in favor of something completely new and unknown. According to data published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, people consider longevity to be the main criterion for good quality. In one experiment in the study, student participants preferred the old course schedule to the new one, without even assessing whether the updated version included fewer course hours. Simply because the original version seemed more familiar to them. And when they later heard that the old schedule had remained unchanged for hundreds of years, the students were even more confirmed in their opinion.
Don't worry in vain
What does a person who is late for a meeting do? He tries to mentally adjust the minibus and thinks that such experiences can somehow help him. But you are already late, and you understand it. What should be done in this situation? Call your boss and tell him you'll be late. After a call like this, you need to relax. You can't go faster than you are going. Calm down and think that everything is happening for the better. The same applies to fear of change. Psychologists say that a person who does not waste energy on worries, knows how to relax and looks to the future with a sober head will achieve success. Why waste energy and worsen your nervous system? It is not necessary. Any person must learn to relax. Take up meditation. Breathing practice will teach you to let go of unnecessary thoughts and help you find peace of mind. And this is very important for a person who does not feel solid support under his feet.
Help from a psychologist
Some people turn to psychologists for help in dealing with their fears. How to get rid of the fear of change is the task of a specialist. An experienced psychologist will teach the patient to act constructively and respond correctly to certain circumstances. In addition, it is important to learn to control your own psycho-emotional state in order to be able to survive the fight against a phobia in an emergency situation.
Psychological counseling and psychocorrection
Before getting rid of neophobia, you need to undergo psychological preparation.
The work of a specialist is often based on artificial modeling of changes in the patient’s life. The doctor monitors the patient’s condition and finds out the main factors that cause fear. After long-term intensive training, a person gets used to new roles and becomes less susceptible to psycho-emotional stress.
The problem of neophobia is based on difficulties with adaptation, so a specialist can recommend the opposite method to his patient. There are many examples of the implementation of this method in life. If a man:
- If you are used to brushing your teeth holding a brush in your right hand, you should try brushing your teeth with your left hand;
- prefers to get to work by transport, then he should choose to walk;
- likes to watch comedy films in the evenings, it is necessary to give preference to the least favorite genre;
- prefers to wear one style of clothing, he should dress in something that has been gathering dust in the closet for a long time (an old suit, shirt, sweater, etc.).
All these actions force a person to adapt to new conditions that he sets for himself. There is self-knowledge and training of one’s own psyche to act within a certain framework of dissatisfaction, in the absence of a comfort zone.
Psychologists also advise their patients to engage in autogenic training. Always and everywhere be able to relax, concentrate on your own state and “disconnect” from the outside world. At home, all these problems can be solved with a relaxing warm bath, a mug of your favorite tea or reading a book. But, if a person is outside his comfort zone, he cannot do without autogenic training.
Sitting on a park bench or at your workplace, you should relax your body muscles as much as possible without thinking about problems. Such actions will not only reduce the likelihood of fear, but will also contribute to the disappearance of its signs - lowering blood pressure, normalizing sweating and breathing. A person begins to think soberly and assess the current situation, which will allow him to overcome all difficulties with dignity.
Change your life gradually
When life changes, you need stability in at least one of the current areas. You don't need to change your whole life at once. Do you want radical change? Start with one thing. Fear of change in life is quite natural. And in order not to drive yourself into stress, you should take a reasonable approach to the changes you make in your everyday life. Do you want to change jobs, move and find the love of your life? Start with one thing. Set your priorities and understand what is more important to you now. It makes the most sense to first change jobs, and then, when your financial situation is stable, look for new housing. When your current affairs improve, you can think about your life partner. There is no need to rush into the embrasure and radically change your existence. This behavior is fraught with stress, and as a result, depression will not be long in coming. Small changes will help you gradually change your usual way of things.
What should a person do who moves to another city and is forced to look for a job, housing and friends? He still has relatives and family in his hometown. Keep in touch with loved ones. Stable and familiar relationships will help you receive support and approval from people important to you. Communicate with your relatives more often and do not lose optimism.
The unknown inevitably causes stress
The earliest written definition of the fear of the unknown as one of the fundamental fears inherent in man is found in the American writer and philosopher Howard Lovecraft: “The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and most powerful kind of fear is the fear of the unknown.”
. His words were later confirmed by research by neuroscientists, who also emphasized the direct relationship between fear of the unknown and increased levels of stress and anxiety.
We are afraid of changes because when we decide on them, we take a lot of risks, because the result is always unpredictable. And it drives us crazy.
Don't be afraid to make mistakes
A person must understand that there is no need to be afraid of mistakes. Your wrong or unreasonable actions will help you gain life experience. You shouldn't step on the same rake twice. But you can step on them once. Have you made an unfortunate mistake? Draw a conclusion and move on. A person who is not afraid to make mistakes will never have a phobia of fear of change. It develops among those people who want to do everything perfectly. Fairy tales don't exist. You need to understand that it is good to make mistakes. You won't be able to learn from other people's experiences all the time. You need to hit a lot of bumps in order to find your path and not leave it. Try to perceive everything that happens to you with a smile. Don't beat yourself up. Remember that everything in this life is temporary and nothing is permanent. Today wasn't your best day? Tomorrow the situation will change. Life will get better, and you will remember your mistake with a smile. Think about the problems that seemed like a disaster to you last year. Time has passed, and now you no longer worry about those mistakes. The same will happen with today's problems. Tomorrow they will seem ridiculous to you.
Create the right environment for yourself
Having people around you who approve and support your desire for change helps you move forward. This could be anyone: friends, a psychologist or a mentor. The latter will support you, discover your strengths together with you, form a new picture of the world, record results and achievements. It’s also good if you are surrounded by at least one person who has already achieved what you dream of. This way you will move towards your goals, inspired by his successes.
Raise your self-esteem
Self-confidence is a quality that will help you look into the future not only with hope, but also with a smile. A person who knows his strengths and is confident in his abilities will not suffer from a fear of change. What do you call a person who hides from others all the time and is afraid to change something in his life? Jonah. This is what others will call you if you complain about your existence all the time, but don’t change anything. Before you perform any feats, you need to work on yourself and your inner feeling. Boost your self-esteem. How to do it? Write down on a piece of paper all your strengths, as well as all your achievements. Then write down your shortcomings. Do something every day to overcome your fears and inhibitions. And also don’t forget to read about your successes and personality strengths. Don't let anyone call you a failure. Act like a confident person and try to feel like you really are one. Over time, you will get used to high self-esteem, and it will become your standard form of self-awareness.
Articulate your own value
If identity is built around the old profession, then after changing it a person is afraid of losing himself. The following questions will help here: “Who am I?”, “What am I?”, “Why do I value myself?”, “Why do others value me?”, “What do they ask me for?”
In different states, people tend to give different answers to these questions. For example, it is more difficult for a tired and depressed person to give himself a more sound critical assessment. So try asking yourself these questions in different states over a period of time - for example, every day for a couple of weeks. And collect at least ten answers for each.
Get out of your comfort zone more often
Who is haunted by the fear of new things? People who rarely leave their comfort zone are afraid of change. You need to make a rule for yourself: every week, do something that you are afraid to do. For example, if you don’t know how and don’t like to communicate with people, go to a club or any social event. Make new acquaintances at the party and try to open up to a stranger. Such experience will be very valuable. You will understand that there is nothing wrong with approaching a person and getting to know him. It will be scary at first, but once you talk to strangers and realize that they are nice people, you will be able to easily find a common language with anyone.
If you are haunted by a fear of change, then try doing crazy things. For example, jump with a parachute. It's not as scary as it seems. Choose a good flying club and sign up for a consultation with an experienced instructor. By overcoming fear, you can feel more confident and understand that if you were able to decide on such a crazy act, then you can easily cope with any other task.
Scientists: confidence in a bad outcome of the situation is better than the unknown
In 2021, a team of researchers published the results of one of the most complex experiments on the relationship between uncertainty and stress levels. Volunteers who agreed to take part were asked to play a simple computer game. They had to turn over stones, under each of which a snake could be hiding. Players who stumbled upon a snake received a painful electric shock.
During the experiment, the researchers tracked stress levels using several physiological indicators, including sweating and pupil dilation. They also asked participants to self-report when they felt more stressed. The main finding was that both subjective and objective measures of stress peaked under conditions of greatest uncertainty. At the same time, uncertainty was much more stressful for the players than predictable negative consequences.
Resisting change will not help you. The only solution is to give in to the unknown
A secondary result of the experiment described above was that those participants whose stress level reflected the actual level of uncertainty performed better than others at the task. This confirms the fact that uncertainty stimulates us to adapt. Having lost control of the situation, we practice reacting to changing conditions and possible risks and use every neuron to regain control.
Uncertainty cannot be controlled, and worry and resistance can only make things worse. But being aware of what is happening to you will help significantly reduce the pain of change. To decide to make changes, you need to be in touch with your emotions and fears that control you and can interfere with this process. They will be different for everyone - and they will also manifest themselves differently.
Set goals
Do you have a plan for life? No? Then it's time to write it. Fear of change haunts those people who do not know what they want. When you have a plan not only for this week, but for your life, you will understand what you are doing and why you are doing it. Conscious actions are easier for people than actions whose meaning is poorly understood by a person. To change his life, a person must understand exactly where he will end up. Think of yourself as a ship that has set out to sea. If a lighthouse is visible on the horizon, you will purposefully walk towards the light. If there is no lighthouse, you will wander in search of the treasured land and never find it.
Scared to change your destiny? Think about the fact that nothing will change in your life either in a year or in 10 years. It suits you? No. A person will always lack something to be happy. And that's great. The feeling of dissatisfaction forces you to move forward and constantly set new goals for yourself. You need to learn to plan your time and your life, then you will not be afraid even of global changes.
Conservatives and neophobes are brothers in mind
One friend calls herself a typical conservative, and this even makes her breathe easier. A kind of young lady from the old days who knows all the recipes for pies, prefers knitting to fitness, and prefers planting hyacinths in the country to parties at the club. I got the job in my 5th year at the institute, so at 35 I’ve never been to an interview, I don’t know how to write a resume, and I dress exclusively in a white top and black bottom. The main dream is to marry a calm, stable man who will love pancakes with sour cream, not sushi, cocoa, not beer, and children, not freedom. And then it happened. She met the man of her dreams who has every chance of making her happy. There’s just one “but” - he lives in another city.
Just like that, changes crept up from a completely unexpected direction. And now this same prince has brought unpleasant turmoil into the measured life of a friend. She is desperately afraid of losing him and, at the same time, cannot imagine her existence in another world, another city. Because of these mental tossing, she lost peace and sleep. It even got to the point where she diligently began to look for flaws in the ideal prince in order to somehow justify her almost 100% refusal of happiness in another city. The new life seems to her only a threat to today's stability.
This is how those who have not been taught by life to make decisions become neophobes. Or rather, those who have always avoided the decision-making process itself. Someone always decided for them: what institute to enter, where to get a job, what traditions to adhere to, what books to read, how to think and live correctly, what men to choose and not to choose. And also that one must certainly value traditions and become overgrown with stereotypes; something new is certainly something hostile and is almost always associated with a natural disaster. Changes and “perestroika of the 90s” still sit on the same bench in the minds of most people.
Tatiana Pankova
Psychologist
It's worth turning around and looking around. Which of your friends and acquaintances do you consider lucky and successful? Precisely those who were once not afraid to change something in life: change their profession, move to another city/country. New little keys help open locked doors, behind which there can be a lot of interesting things.
Act immediately, don't wait for the best moment
Do you want something? Don't wait for a better moment, it will never come. Fear of change should not be an obstacle to action. Do you feel motivated to achieve something? As long as the desire for change burns in your soul, it will overcome any fear. Therefore, think about a plan of action and follow it. You don't have to wait until Monday, and often you don't even have to wait until the next morning to start doing something. Always keep a good phrase in mind: people make it their life's dream to achieve something that can be achieved with just a week of hard work.
Find what works for you
It is important to explore what motivates you personally to take action, because the conditions for change are different for everyone. For some, competition ignites, and for others, it suppresses; for others, drawing up a detailed plan helps; for others, it is more important to take the first step, and deal with the consequences later; for some, it is convenient to move quickly, and for others, slowly, gradually. adapting to changes. Take the time to get to know yourself well and the conditions of change that are comfortable for you. This can be done independently or with a specialist.
The Yandex.Workshop team believes: everyone can change their life, everyone can learn new things, everyone can start today. Even if it didn't work out before. The course programs are designed for anyone who wants to master an in-demand digital profession or skills from scratch and is willing to devote time and effort to this, and experienced mentors can guide and help overcome difficulties.
