Do you keep a diary of feelings and emotions? According to psychologists, by writing down everything you felt in a given situation, you can deal with many internal problems, gain awareness and learn to control yourself. You will also be able to look at yourself from the outside and understand whether something needs to be changed. Is it really? How to keep this diary so that it brings real benefits?
What are the tasks of a diary of feelings and emotions?
A diary of emotions and feelings is a technique that helps you track your emotional state in order to better understand and control yourself. The underlying principles look like this:
- what we have realized can be controlled;
- what we have not yet realized controls us.
Man is designed in such a way that he first feels something and then thinks. But at the same time, he rarely pays attention to what exactly he felt. And in vain, because it is feelings and emotions that motivate us to action, to satisfy certain needs. They help us replenish vital energy or lose it.
So, why do we need a diary of feelings and emotions? There are several points:
- Helps you track your emotions and feelings throughout the day, analyze which of them arise most often and prevail over others.
- Allows you to see what exactly leads to the emergence of certain feelings.
- Shows which situations from a past life influence the emotional state now. Gives you the opportunity to work on yourself in the right direction.
- Helps you realize your needs and fill your life with what is truly missing.
- You will see in time who is trying to manipulate you and stop these attempts.
And further. By keeping a diary of feelings and emotions, you will learn to look at your behavior from the outside, to see the real motives of your actions.
How to keep an emotion diary
How to properly keep a diary of emotions? Psychologists recommend following a number of tips:
- Notepad or notebook. If possible, carry them with you to immediately record interesting emotions that arise in you. You can take notes on your phone or using a voice recorder. At the end of your working day, transfer them to paper. You can also use special computer programs that can be easily downloaded on the Internet.
- Rhythm. Make notes regularly, at the same time. This can be done, for example, in the evening. Or throughout the day as they appear to you. A good option is several times a day. Just then divide it into parts, say, morning, lunch, evening, etc. If you miss a day, don't tell yourself off. Write as soon as you remember.
- Selectivity. It is difficult to describe all the feelings and emotions that you experience during the day. It is also almost impossible to remember them. Therefore, write about what is worth attention.
- Listener. If possible, have someone next to you with whom you can discuss your notes, a person you trust.
- Unbiased. You should not write down only positive or negative emotions. Don't divide them into good and bad. Write down everything you feel.
Also carry out analysis. Re-read your entries a couple of times a month. This will help you understand what is happening in your life, whether it can be changed now and whether it is necessary.
Decor
There are no requirements or restrictions in this matter. Do as you feel comfortable. It is recommended to make several sections:
- date, time of recordings;
- what happened;
- what feelings did you experience;
- why did you experience these particular feelings;
- what could you do in this situation;
- What rating can you give to emotions on a scale from 1 to 10?
Additionally, you can talk about your physical sensations, how you slept last night, your state of health, etc.
Train your imagination
Can you abstract yourself from what is happening? Some people have this ability, others do not. Even if you are deprived of it today, don’t worry, it can be developed. How to do it?
You don't take part in the conversation and it starts to irritate you? Instead of experiencing negative emotions, imagine any picture that, in your opinion, corresponds to a state of mental peace. This could be a forest landscape, a sea coast or snow-capped mountains. Take an imaginative walk in nature and don't pay too much attention to conversation. But don't go too deep into your thoughts. Some part of the mind must remain alert. If you are asked a question, you must respond. But at this moment you will already be calm and satisfied. How to turn off emotions? Don't get caught up in everything that's happening and don't worry. Take care of yourself and your nerves.
Examples of keeping an emotion diary
There are several ways to keep a diary. It all depends on the goal.
Example No. 1
This option is suitable if you find it difficult to distinguish between emotions. It's like being blindfolded in a strange room. Imagine how you will feel at such a moment? Probably helplessness and confusion. You will wander aimlessly around the room, bumping into various objects.
The same is true with emotions. It's easy to deal with them. At the end of the working day, write down 3 situations that happened to you. The diagram looks like this:
- Tell us what happened.
- Think about what physical sensations you experienced at this time.
- Describe the emotions that triggered the development of physical symptoms.
Let's say you stood in line for a long time, because of which you lost a lot of time allotted for other things. From your bodily sensations, you experienced tension. Emotions include irritability, anger and guilt due to the fact that there is no time left for more important activities.
Example No. 2
A diary of feelings and emotions of this type will be needed for those who often devalue themselves and their needs, suffer from low self-esteem and dislike for themselves. In this case, the scheme is like this:
- Describe the situation.
- Describe bodily sensations.
- Talk about the emotions that caused the physical symptoms.
- Analyze what needs are hidden behind emotions.
- Think about whether you satisfied your needs with your actions or ignored them again.
Let's put an example of such entries in a diary of feelings and emotions in the table:
Situation | Physical symptoms | Emotions and feelings | Needs | Behavior |
At the end of the working day, you were asked to stay for a few hours to help your colleagues complete an assignment from management. | Fatigue, tension in the muscles and throughout the body | Strong resentment that no one cares about your interests. At the same time, there is a feeling of guilt that arises at the thought that you will be offended if you refuse to work overtime | Need rest | You make concessions and stay at work. The need for rest remains unaccounted for |
Example No. 3
This scheme for keeping a diary of feelings and emotions is aimed at working with stereotypes and patterns that lead to the development of negative experiences and interfere with adequate thinking and decision-making. It looks like this:
- Describe the situation that happened.
- Talk about what emotions arose.
- What were you thinking?
- What beliefs are behind the thoughts that come into your head?
- Are thoughts following actions effective?
- Could there have been something more constructive? If possible, how?
Situation | Emotions | Thoughts | Beliefs | Actions | Constructive action |
I couldn't pass the exam | Guilt, self-disappointment | I guess I'm a failure. I should have spent more time on textbooks | I must always be perfect in everything. Failing an exam is evidence of my worthlessness | I'm afraid that I won't be able to pass the next exam either. There is no mood, hands give up. I'll never start preparing | Realize that achieving the ideal is almost impossible. Absolutely all people living on the planet make mistakes. Start preparing with confidence in yourself and your abilities |
Example No. 4
This example describes a diary of feelings and emotions for those people who tend to ignore and suppress them. What notes do they need to make?
- Describe the situation that happened.
- Talk about the emotions you experienced at that moment.
- Think about what would happen if emotions manifested themselves in full force.
- Analyze what is the meaning of the emotions shown.
- Completed actions.
- What would be the actions if emotions did show up?
Imagine that you come to a parent-teacher meeting at school. Suddenly the teacher starts accusing your son of not knowing the material. Although he was absent for a good reason - illness. So what will you experience at this moment? Shame and, of course, anger. If you gave free rein to your emotions, you would probably tell the teacher everything you think about this issue. But in response, you said that you would eliminate this gap in the child’s knowledge. How could you have done things differently? Respectfully, then in a firm voice remind the teacher of the reason for your son’s lagging behind, and say again that this is not his fault.
Let's think about the meaning of the emotions that arose in this situation. Shame helped you refrain from being rude to the teacher. And anger showed that the child needs to be protected from such attacks.
Example No. 5
This exercise in journaling feelings and emotions will be useful for those who are struggling with the effects of emotional trauma in childhood. It, of course, will not help to completely get rid of their consequences. But you can reduce their impact on your life. You will be able to make connections between emotions now and experiences you have experienced in the past.
In the diary you need to describe the situation that occurred and the emotions that arose during it. Then ask yourself: does the current situation remind me of anything that happened to me in the past? And the second question: do the emotions that arise relate to the present or the past?
Some more important information
1Many people, when faced with an emotion diary for the first time, react like this: “No, well, I’m already well aware of my emotions.
And what? This doesn't change anything. What's the point of this diary? I will repeat the thought that I have already voiced five times during the article. Just because you once realized something, the truth may not change anything. The fact is that for one moment of insight, when you realize what is happening inside, there are hours of unconsciousness, when you live in automatic mode, and habitual emotional reactions manifest themselves automatically.
Journaling your emotions helps you develop mindfulness. Mindfulness breaks down unnecessary automatic reactions.
2Recognizing emotions and writing them down in a diary of emotions are two different stories. In the process of writing, you gain new understanding and awareness that would never have appeared if you had not put your thoughts on paper.
Dividing three-digit numbers in your head is difficult. And if you put this process on paper and divide it into a column, everything will turn out to be much easier. On paper everything looks simpler and clearer. This also applies to emotions.
3It is useful to write a diary of emotions even for those who think that they are super-aware and understand everything about themselves. To confirm this fact, I will give a story.
I recently spoke with my colleague and part-time friend. She is currently leading a training in which participants write emotional diaries. A friend decided that it would be nice for her to keep a diary. I must say that the ability to understand one’s own emotions is one of the professional skills of a psychologist, and of course my friend understands her emotions much better than the average person simply by virtue of her profession. So, what was her surprise when, with the help of keeping a diary, she discovered a lot of new and interesting things.
I was not at all surprised by her story, since I had exactly the same experience. A couple of years ago, when planning to create a program for managing emotions, I kept a diary in order to better experience its effect on myself. I never completed the program, but I felt the results from the diary of emotions to the fullest!
4 In conclusion, I will say that when starting to write an emotional diary, many people experience serious difficulties: it is difficult to describe on paper what is happening inside. It is difficult to understand and realize. If this happens to you, remember that writing a diary is just a skill. Start keeping a diary even if not everything works out at first. You will see that with each new day it will become easier and easier for you to do this.
PS: If you are interested in effective techniques for better understanding yourself and managing your emotions, you will definitely find the e-book “How to start meditating” useful. Step-by-step instruction". Receive it by email or private message on Facebook by filling out the form below:
Recommendations
The main tip is to keep a diary regularly. Don't think that a single post can change your life. Try to do them every day. This is the only way you will see the situations that repeat in your life over and over again and the emotions that arise in them. Much remains behind the scenes. A diary will help you realize these hidden moments.
When you write down emotions on paper, awareness comes to you and you understand them in a new way. Without the records this would not have happened. For clarity, imagine that you need to solve an example of dividing three-digit numbers in your head. It's difficult, isn't it? Now write it down on a piece of paper and complete the action in a column. Much easier, don't you agree? So it is with emotions.
And one more piece of advice: those who consider themselves a conscious person should also keep a diary of emotions and feelings. Even psychologists teach it. This is a great opportunity to deal with internal problems and learn to control yourself in any situation.